MIL a bitch, a dead one, but one nonetheless....what do you think?

(77 Posts)
ukulelelady Sat 18-Jan-14 22:47:51

Am I being unreasonable by calling my dead MIL a bitch. Actually that's only in print I've called her worse. sad
I am a widow with a young son. Me and my OH were together for 15 years before he had his accident. My DS was just 5 weeks old when his dad died. His mum passed away 7 months later of a terminal Illness.

The reason I'm so angry with my sons gran? Why do I think she was a bitch? About 6 years ago my OH bought his mums house. When he died he didn't leave a will. My darling MIL made a will after my partners death to leave the house to my son at the age of 25. In the meantime her friend gets the rental income until my DS reaches 25. Her only family was my son and my partner.

Anyway, this is not a little old me feeling sorry for myself or me being materialistic and greedy.... Personally I couldn't have given a toss what she did with the house IF it was hers! My partner worked bloody hard to buy her her house. He was in tied accommodation with his job so thought of it as his retirement/pension. I am currently working 2 jobs, one of which my house is tied to. I don't know what I'm wanting from posting this. Maybe someone to agree with me would be nice, I feel guilt for calling her names and I feel anger at what she's done. Also as a mother, i cannot understand her cutting us out like this. Ok he gets a house when he's 25..... There were no sentimental items or anything left to him, I'm at a loss to understand this woman who called herself a mother and gran.

Sorry for ranting.

JeanSeberg Sat 18-Jan-14 22:51:51

What's the friend's financial situation whose getting the rental income in the meantime?

HamletsSister Sat 18-Jan-14 22:52:23

How awful for you. Have you spoken to a solicitor? Surely, if he was intestate, his property would go to his son automatically and she would have no say.

Tinkertaylor1 Sat 18-Jan-14 22:54:39

op that's awful!

Can you not contest it?

lougle Sat 18-Jan-14 22:55:02

Oh dear. You sound so distressed. Do you think this thread is wise?

If your OH died when your DS was 5 weeks old, then your DS inherits the house. Why was your MIL able to leave the house to anyone??

ukulelelady Sat 18-Jan-14 22:57:42

Jean she already owns 2 properties and has a property abroad. I don't think she's rolling in it. However she can afford to holiday abroad 2-3 times a year although she Still works for a living. My mil spoke to me about renting her house after she passed and said she would like her friend to get a portion off it because she "likes holidays".
Hamlets....we wouldn't be entitled to appeal because technically my son inherits.

UKAS Sat 18-Jan-14 22:59:35

yes, if your oh owNed the house how does mil get to decide where it goes?

What was mil's relationship with friend?

FannyFifer Sat 18-Jan-14 23:00:44

I think you need to speak to a lawyer. Surely house belongs to your Son.

vestandknickers Sat 18-Jan-14 23:01:02

What is the point of this post?

SolomanDaisy Sat 18-Jan-14 23:03:05

Was the house in your MIL' s name, but paid for by your DP? If not, shouldn't your son have inherited it from his father?

ukulelelady Sat 18-Jan-14 23:03:12

Lougle, probably not although its better than blowing up and telling the friend how I feel. I want to be able to talk to her calmly and also would rather there to be no tension between us. I have to have some kind of relationship with her if she is looking after my sons asset!

It was bought by my OH and put into his mums name. There was no will. If she hadn't of made a will it would have became my sons.

BrianTheMole Sat 18-Jan-14 23:03:21

Would you contest it op? That is dreadful. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry about your dp too.

Tinkertaylor1 Sat 18-Jan-14 23:04:21

vest the op is just venting , people do and can do that.... hmm

picnicbasketcase Sat 18-Jan-14 23:04:21

Your OH paid for it for her, so it remained her property, or he bought it from her? It does sound completely unfair either way.

picnicbasketcase Sat 18-Jan-14 23:05:06

Sorry, xpost

Tinkertaylor1 Sat 18-Jan-14 23:05:40

Contest, contest, contest.

scottishmummy Sat 18-Jan-14 23:06:13

Gosh,you've suffered a lot of losses.whos supporting you?

JeanSeberg Sat 18-Jan-14 23:07:20

Sorry I mis-read - I thought you said your husband bought the house for his mum.

Definitely get legal advice, dying intestate is very complex. Have a look at the rules of intestacy. Parents can also inherit, dependent on the value of the estate.

www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_death_and_wills_e/who_can_inherit_if_there_is_no_will___the_rules_of_intestacy.htm#h_what_are_the_rules_of_intestacy

ukulelelady Sat 18-Jan-14 23:07:45

Vestandnickers what is the point of any chat on mumsnet. I am on my own, son tucked up in bed and don't have anyone to talk to. I felt like having a rant and I suppose as I mentioned in the op I am maybe looking for a bit of agreement. Someone to be on my side, there hasn't been much of that lately..... Someone to say yeah what a effing cow! Would be nice!

bumbumsmummy Sat 18-Jan-14 23:07:49

I don't think she can do this you are being duped its not hers to bequeath it belongs to your son go see a solicitor

And take a copy of this so called will with you

UKAS Sat 18-Jan-14 23:09:27

oh dear. in that case i can see why you're so upset but perhaps you could try and look on the brightside (i know,ridiculous). At least your ds will get it - she could have left it to the friend outright.

Did she ever talk to you about her will? I wonder why she did it this way?

Pollydon Sat 18-Jan-14 23:12:36

You poor, poor love. I have no idea how she could do this to your precious son, she is, /was a bitch.
flowers

Jynxed Sat 18-Jan-14 23:13:52

Have you evidence that your DP paid for the house, even though it was in your MiL's name. If you can prove it I think the house would automatically belong to your don immediately.

ukulelelady Sat 18-Jan-14 23:14:54

Picnic, it was a council house, OH bought it and put it in her name with the spoken agreement it was his and would be his pension fund...

Wouldn't stand a chance to contest it. Have spoken to a lawyer. I actually already contested the intestancy and won although it didn't feel like it. Lawyer said because son inherits house when he's 25 there is no grounds... He is the main beneficiary.

Thanks scottish, my family have been a huge help and friends too. Nobody really talks about this much and I can tell there's a lot of tongues being bitten! Let rip I say, (rip as in tear not as RiP....)

LumpySpacePrincessOhMyGlob Sat 18-Jan-14 23:16:11

Who owned the house when she died, your Dh or your mil.

You have my sympathies, this sounds really harsh. If you cannot change the situation try not to let it eat away at you.

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