My friend's son has killed himself.

(36 Posts)
SadBadDays Sat 21-Dec-13 11:29:28

It is desperate. There was no letter, no clue, no nothing. He hanged himself while they were out. He was 15 and such a lovely boy. Very quiet but great sense of humour. I am so, so sad and exhausted trying to help them all. We aren't in the Uk and have a bureaucratic nightmare and I'm getting really anxious that there is a fuck up and he won't have his funeral before christmas. There is so much to organise and I'm worried I've missed something. To begin with it was just a struggle to keep his mother with us but now it's practical stuff that is beginning to overwhelm me.

Also, does anyone know of a nice poem suitable for a 15 year old suicide?

I'm sure I'm forgetting to do something. I am tired and feel more weepy a week in. Nothing as bad as they are feeling, that is obvious.

ButThereAgain Tue 31-Dec-13 09:40:27

Much love and thought to you Louster, and to you SadBadDays. flowers

BigArea Tue 31-Dec-13 10:33:40

Well, what a beautiful friendship you two have. Louster I am so sorry for your loss

LilyTheSavage Tue 07-Jan-14 03:28:04

I've messaged you Louster. XX

What a lovely friendship you have - Sad you sound an amazing friend and Louster what an incredible woman you are.

My BIL hanged himself in April and I am glad that his mum was not around to know - it has crucified my DH and it would have crucified his mum too. My DS was being badly bullied in September, I was so paranoid about what he could do I was out of my mind with worry.

I am so sorry for your loss Louster - I have shed a tear for you and your son, may he RIP xx

LoveAndDeath Tue 07-Jan-14 13:57:34

Louster <<<HUGS>>>>> I understand perfectly about "living to die" that is mostly how I have felt since my daughter died. And like you, I wouldn't end it all myself because I couldn't leave dh and my other children in the lurch like that.
I won't pretend to know what it's like to lose a child to suicide because my daughter died of SIDS.
But I will tell you that it slowly does get easier. My dd died two years ago and at the very beginning, for around the first month, I felt, sort of numb in one way, in that when my boys hugged me, I felt nothing. And yet not numb because the grief gripped me in an almost physical way, like nothing else I've ever felt. I have also lost a parent and a grandparent.
I had no interest in doing anything.
Now, I have an interest in doing things, I sort of look forward to holidays etc, although nothing is as good as if she'd stayed, IYKWIM.
Keep posting here as well xx

JuliaScurr Tue 07-Jan-14 14:16:37

So so sorry

Quangle Tue 07-Jan-14 14:42:42

Louster I am so sorry. What a terrible, terrible thing. If only we could do something to reach the lovely boys and girls who do this before they do this. I can't imagine how you must feel.

And sadbad of course I hope I'm never called upon to be a friend as you have been - but if I am, you are the example I'll need.

goinggreyagain Tue 07-Jan-14 14:42:49

Louster I am so sorry about the loss of your beautiful boy. I promise you there will be a time where the memory of your son will bring a smile to your lips before a tear to your eye. There will be days when that voice in your head screaming "just give him back" will be quieter.
I know people will tell you to go to a therapist etc but as you say it won't bring your boy back. I will recommend searching out groups for grieving parents near you, just being in a room with some people "who get it" will give you some comfort xx
Are you in the US ?

walterwhiteswife Tue 07-Jan-14 14:47:54

louster xxxxxx

LilyTheSavage Wed 08-Jan-14 11:53:38

quangle has said exactly what I was thinking.

I was thinking of you both this morning and sending you love.

I did message you Louster, and I think I omitted to say the most important thing of all..... how very, very sorry I am for the loss of your darling boy.

xxx

TwuntingCrow Mon 27-Jan-14 19:13:57

hey Louster and SadBad ....
My son, just 18, took his own life out of the blue a few weeks before christmas.. It is unreal ... But if you ever want to talk to another mum who is walking this bloody terrible path, message me .. Love to you xx
redbridgecards@mac.com

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