My mum's gone...even after all the preparation it doesn't feel real.

(6 Posts)

My Mum died this afternoon. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1990 and it has been recurrent many times. She fought of a C Diff infection and was still standing. 7 months ago she was diagnosed with brain mets and found it had spread to her spine and lung.

She moved into a hospice two weeks ago and I got the call this afternoon. I feel hollow. We're a really close family and she was such a beautiful, vivacious person. Even down to the end she had a sense of humour. Dad told me the last thing she said...one of the nurses asked if she was OK "Apart from the fucking cancer I'm fine" with a warm smile.

My Mum and Dad married nearly 50 years ago at 16 and 18...it was a true love story from start to finish. He told me earlier part of him is relieved....relieved she's not in pain anymore.

Every time I look in the mirror I want to cry. I got all my hair cut short and was going to show her tomorrow, she always said she thought it would suit me and it spurred me on to finally getting it done. Now she'll never see it. Sound silly but style and beauty were hobbies of hers, she always looked amazing, even in the hospice with her silver toe rings and painted nails.

Sleep tight Mum, I love you so much xx

VivaLeBeaver Sun 15-Dec-13 19:16:39

I'm so sorry. My dad died two weeks ago after a very similar illness so I know a little of how it feels though I'm sure its different for everyone.

It is still a horrible shock. You suddenly realise that you're never going to see them again.

I'm ok while I'm keeping busy but if someone asks me how I am, etc i start crying.

Your mum sounds like she had a great sense of humor. How's your dad?

Be kind to yourself.x

TinselinaBumSquash Sun 15-Dec-13 19:19:48

I'm sorry for your loss, your Mum sounds like a wonderful person.

I knew my Mum was going to die when she did but it still hit me like a ton of bricks, she too was a wonderful person.

I hope you are allowed to grieve as you wish and I ask you to look after yourself and take time. thanks

She was wonderful....like my best friend. We never had a single argument (hard to believe I know)

Dad's OK I think...he sounds strangely calm. He told me he's got his anger and shouting out of the way already...now he just feels a strange sense of relief. It's still very early days though.

sockssandalsandafork Sun 15-Dec-13 19:37:49

I feel for you OP, I hope you can look back on your lovely memories of her and smile xx

Ohheavens Mon 16-Dec-13 21:48:26

So sorry for your loss Scarlet. Your dear mom sounds just lovely.
Take good care of yourself.
Xxx

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