My mum has had cancer the last 2 years very advanced on initial diagnosis I feel I have been grieving for my mother the last 2 years and the sense of relief since she died has been overwhelming. I would have rang her 2/3 times a day and called in most days. I have 3 dc and work full time in a busy fast paced competitive job. Should I be more upset? Am I just going to collapse with grief soon. What's going on why am I not more sad?? I'm feeling ...guilty
You have been under a lot of stress for a long time so you're feelings aren't straightforward and I don't think there is a 'proper' or 'correct' way to feel. I was quite 'relieved' when my mum died because she had been suffering for 9 months with cancer. Looking back, I suppose I was relieved she wasn't ill anymore, I definitely wasn't relieved she was dead.
The most important thig now is to be good to yourself. Have you got family and friends to help you?