I am sorry to here of your horrific experience LL. I had a Motorway accident 20 years ago and also fractured my neck. I was lucky, it eventually healed and although I still experience pain on occassion it is very rare. I hope you will heal as well.
With regard to coping with this sort of experience, or the loss of a partner in the kind of accident my DH had, I firmly believe that you have to dig deep and find the inner strength to cope. Friends and family will offer support, but you have to have a determination that it will not define your life.
I took one day at a time and treated myself with kindness. If I stumbled and found it difficult to cope one day, I didn't beat myself up about it. I recognised everything I had lost, but thought about and valued all the gifts I had in my life. When I woke up in the morning I focused on and felt grateful for the fact I was alive, had a roof over my head, could afford to eat, had a wonderful family and good friends. By starting each day with positive thoughts I found it easier to cope.
Over time the shock and grief becomes easier to bear. I dont believe that time heals grief, but I do believe you grow a bigger life around that grief. It becomes an encapsulated part of your life experience.
Many, many years later, I can dissolve in tears over a piece of music, the smell of a particular aftershave, or the sight of a photograph. I can also crumble when faced with a simple household problem that normally we would have shared. But I have survived and I have a happy and fulfilling life !!