My sister has taken her life

(45 Posts)
vix206 Fri 18-Oct-13 11:46:58

That's it really. She went missing at the weekend and all I know right now is that she jumped from a tall building in London. She had just been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She was 42 and one of the funniest, seemingly happiest people I knew.

I found out at 9.30 last night and am still walking around in denial. I have a 3 year old DS and am 26 weeks pregnant. So have to keep it together. Luckily have a very supportive dh and friends.

Sorry, I'm rambling I just had to get this down. I fear I will need more support as the days pass and more details are revealed.

monal Fri 18-Oct-13 11:48:37

So sorry.

Pogosticks Fri 18-Oct-13 11:49:32

I'm so sorry.

Pogosticks Fri 18-Oct-13 11:50:04

(and ramble away. You don't have to keep it together here.)

InkleWinkle Fri 18-Oct-13 11:53:55

So sorry this has happened.

Morgause Fri 18-Oct-13 11:55:03

So sorry.

UnicornsNotRiddenByGrownUps Fri 18-Oct-13 11:55:49

Oh no what a horrible waste. I'm so sorry. Can you tell us about her?

TheGhostsAndGhoulsOfHitchhikin Fri 18-Oct-13 11:57:18

Im so sorry op thanks

shimmeringinthesun Fri 18-Oct-13 11:57:48

The poor woman. I'm so sorry for her pain, and for yours too op.

JemimaPuddle Fri 18-Oct-13 11:58:16

So sorry

SugarMiceInTheRain Fri 18-Oct-13 11:58:46

I'm so sorry Vix, sending you and your family hugs. Look after yourself xx

MaKettle Fri 18-Oct-13 11:59:24

My brother took his own life when my DS was a similar age. It was - and still is - devastating for the whole family but having a young child did give me a focus and a foundation which helped me to cope, even if it didn't always feel like it at the time. Thinking of you.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Fri 18-Oct-13 11:59:40

What a horrid shock. So sorry Vix.

CheeseAndFriedMushrooms Fri 18-Oct-13 12:00:23

I am so sorry. We have had a suicide in the family this year and its very difficult to deal with, but it will get better. Stay strong for your children.

AllThatGlistens Fri 18-Oct-13 12:00:44

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss OP flowers

morethanpotatoprints Fri 18-Oct-13 12:02:03

So sorry my love.
Please don't think you need to keep it together, it must be an enormous shock, people will understand you will be dazed.
Please take care, look after yourself and accept help from friends and family.
If it helps to talk about her there are some very lovely understanding people on here.

ohmeohmyforgotlogin Fri 18-Oct-13 12:06:31

So sorry for your loss. This organisation can help www.uk-sobs.org.uk/

NervyWervy Fri 18-Oct-13 12:30:29

Very sorry for your loss Vix. Can you spend some time with your parents/family? flowers

Rikalaily Fri 18-Oct-13 12:34:21

I'm so so sorry sad

My sister took her own life 3 years ago, losing someone in this way is so hard, I found it a lot harder than losing my mum who died from organ failure, it's just so sudden. It does get easier with talking about her/what happened and with time, it takes a while to try and make any sense of it.

The feeling of denial is a totally normal thing, you have had a massive shock and your feelings will be all over the place for a while. I swung from denial, heartbreak, anger, emptiness and back to denial. Be gentle with yourself and don't hold everything in, you don't need to keep it together. If you find everything going over and over in your head and unable to talk about it, write a letter which can be placed with her.

Having the little ones will help a lot, if I hadn't had mine to distract me I might have gone insane for a little while.

vix206 Fri 18-Oct-13 12:41:50

Thanks all.

It's very strange for me. She was my half sister and had always had problems. We didn't speak for 10 years (her decision as she had a breakdown and just went on a massive drug-fuelled bender for 10 years). She got back in touch in summer 2011.

She lived far away from me so she wasn't someone I saw very often but we had a very close bond and would text all the time. I knew she was struggling recently but my dad did most of the talking as I had been told by the midwife to take things easy after losing a baby in March of this year. So I kind of backed off from her a little bit and now obviously regret that.

I just can't stop picturing her last moments. But yet it doesn't seem real.

We share a father and he is local to me, he also had the 10 year gap in the relationship and it is all very weird for him as he now has to arrange a funeral 300 miles away for a daughter he hardly knew with his ex wife from 39 yrs ago who he has had no contact with.

What a mess.

shallweshop Fri 18-Oct-13 12:46:58

How devastating for you. I am so sorry for your huge loss. My sister died two months ago following illness and it must be even harder when a loved one has taken their own life. I am still in denial about my sister. I carry on with my day to day activities and imagine in the back of my mind that she is getting on with hers - it is the only way I can cope. I have two young children - 6 and 9 - and they are a huge help. If it wasn't for them, I would have fallen apart. Having also lost my mum and dad, my kids and DH are the only close family I have left.

Two months on, I allow myself periods when I think about the unthinkable thing that has happened and I let the grief engulf me and then its back to my state of denial.

Take care and be kind to yourself.

PloddingDaily Fri 18-Oct-13 12:47:54

Thinking you of & your dad Vix. X

vix206 Fri 18-Oct-13 12:48:35

I'm sorry for your loss shallweshop, and I can totally understand your coping mechanism.

Manchesterhistorygirl Fri 18-Oct-13 12:49:09

I'm so sorry for your loss Vix.

Cybercat Fri 18-Oct-13 12:55:06

I am so so sorry. Words escape me at times like this but I am thinking of you.

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