DS2's (10 months) dad committed suicide in June. Today I bit the bullet and started a memory box. In it are the few things he bought for DS, the order of service from his funeral, his dressing gown and his bottle of aftershave. I'll add photos to it when I get them printed.
I knew it was going to be hard but it was so much harder than I thought it'd be. For the first time I feel like I'm grieving on my behalf as well as on DS's behalf. Up until now I felt like I didn't have the right to grieve because we weren't together and things were really bad between us.
It just all feels so unfair. I shouldn't be having to make a memory box.
Have you got a friend who could help? You're right, it is unfair, but you are being brave and doing it for your DS because you know he will need it in the future... but it will be easier if someone holds your hand. Have you contacted Winston's Wish? They have a really supportive telephone helpline, they might also have contacts in your area, so you could meet people who have had to do the same. Well done for facing it though and all the best x