My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

It's like he never existed

7 replies

grants1000 · 09/10/2013 18:23

My Dad died 15 years ago today, but it is if he never existed.

Not one close member, even my husband, has said a word. My Dad brought my brother up as his own, even though he was not biologically his; not a word. My Mum, remarried, not a word. My grandparents, his parents, now dead. My Dad's siblings out the picture years ago.

So I am the only one who remembers, just feels sad and forgotten

OP posts:
Report
AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 09/10/2013 23:04

I'm sorry. It's lovely you remember. You must miss him lots. Suppose it is a bit late tonight, but could you do something special this week to mark the anniversary and think of him? Even if it's just going for a walk by yourself?

Report
MooncupGoddess · 09/10/2013 23:15

Ah, that is hard. Would you like to tell us a bit about your Dad?

Report
ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 09/10/2013 23:20

I am so sorry :( xxx

My Dad died 3 years ago. My Mum was the only person I spoke to on the day this year (and she is overseas). No-one else remembered/thought to call or text or anything. I was quite hurt by that. I see his Aunt, his Sister frequently, my cousins... I remember the dates that are significant to my friends... yet no-one remembered me. I felt very, very alone, so I understand how you feel x

Report
aleene · 09/10/2013 23:22

I'm sorry Sad Perhaps no one is mentioning it but he is still remembered. Certainly on an important recent anniversary for my family, it was not mentioned but very much in all our minds.

Report
EnidB · 09/10/2013 23:31

I am sorry you have lost your dad. Maybe people think if they don't mention him they won't upset you. Does anyone talk about him at other times of year? You don't just remember him today - maybe you are not alone. I still have my parents but I know my mum writes dates like that on her calendar. Maybe they remember every day, not just the day he died. Talk about him whenever you want.

Report
BackforGood · 09/10/2013 23:35

Not everybody puts importance on a particular date - be it the date the person died, or the date of their birthday, or whatever.
I've lost both my parents, but the actual date they passed isn't important to me - I remember them as they were alive. Odd things slip into my sub-conscious to remind me of them. Not "marking" the anniversary of a death does NOT mean they are not still loved and remembered.

Report
sonlypuppyfat · 09/10/2013 23:39

I lost my dad 14 years ago and he was my world a proper honest hard working family man my mum adored him and still does. I think of him daily I don't think about the day he left us thats too sad I think about the times we had together, I'm so sorry you are so sad he must have been very special.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.