my angel

(17 Posts)
dannika Sun 22-Sep-13 11:38:31

I had a daughter almost six months ago but she was born asleep. I had to explain to our son that his sister is with the angels. The hospital are taking some responsibility and admit failings which I believe resulted in her death. I just miss her so much and at the moment I am being surrounded by family members having babies and I am finding it difficult as I just want my little girl to know she is loved and missed.

Thanks for taking the time to listen x

Pagwatch Sun 22-Sep-13 12:56:02

Hello Dannika

I am so sorry this is such a difficult time for you. I have no experience and would like you to get more support - could you perhaps repost in bereavement? I think your post may be missed here and I know that section is very supportive.
I am so sorry or your loss

Sparklingbrook Sun 22-Sep-13 17:11:32

So sorry for your loss dannika. I have no experience, hope you will get support. Do you have people to talk to in RL?

angelopal Sun 22-Sep-13 17:33:08

Sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby last year when she was 4 days old. It's really difficult when others have their babies. My sister had a baby about 6 months after we lost ours so I understand how difficult it is.

Have you been in touch with Sands? I would not have got through the last few months without them. Just knowing we are not alone and there are others that know how we feel really helped.

I believe our angels are watching over us and know how much we love and miss them.

Take care.

ExcuseTypos Sun 22-Sep-13 20:40:12

So sorry you lost your darling baby. My sister's baby girl was born asleep and she found SANDS very helpful.

We still talk about my niece and remember her often. She's part of our family. I hope you can talk about your baby to someone who cares.xx

flowers for you and angelopal.

Dannika, I am so sorry to hear about your baby daughter. Would you like to tell us her name?

I hope that by writing here, you will receive understanding and support which is helpful to you. Have you understanding people around you in RL, who will allow you to talk about your little girl? That is so important.

My daughter, Mia, also died in hospital, and the hospital also admitted some failings, although it turned out that she was sick, but no-one knew. MrMia and I have had a huge amount of anger at the hospital, and that is difficult when you are already grieving for your child. If you feeling the same, then don't feel bad - it is quite normal.

BlueSkyandRain Mon 23-Sep-13 08:10:54

Dannika, I'm so sorry you haven't got your beautiful daughter with you. My son also died just before he was born, also nearly 6 months ago now.
I have other children too, and it is so hard explaining to them and helping them in their grief whilst struggling with our own. In my case it wasn't anyone's fault, although obviously I struggle with that and wonder what I might have done differently. It must be very hard knowing that there is actually someone to blame - that must be a whole other set of emotions to deal with too. And also dealing with other babies, some days (today, actually) I find it hard to face the school run with all it's babies.
I know there's nothing I can say, but you're not on your own - and neither is your daughter. Hope today is a gentle one for you x

lucidlady Mon 23-Sep-13 08:12:43

So sorry for your loss Dannika.

dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 00:25:35

Thank you all I have been in touch with sands and will be taking part in wave of light. It's difficult IRL because my partner and I are currently going through legal action and I find it very difficult to discuss her as it only makes the people around me upset. I just wish people didn't seem to be moving forward so fast when im so stuck in limbo.

dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 00:33:01

Her name is annalise and she looked so much like her brother. Im sorry to all those who have also lost their precious children it's a truly great loss to anyone who has to go through all this. I only hope that together we may find support on the tougher days and comfort in another. I thank you all and I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Thanks x

Sparklingbrook Tue 24-Sep-13 07:22:12

Annalise is a beautiful name dannika, x

MoreThanWords Tue 24-Sep-13 07:27:19

Beautiful name for your beautiful baby. So sorry for your loss x

Do your (extended) family talk about Annalise? Do they know how you feel?

I hope the pain eases soon for you.

ExcuseTypos Tue 24-Sep-13 08:09:32

So pleased you got in touch with SANDS, they understand what you and DH are going through.

Annalise is such a pretty name.x

dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 08:16:58

They are all moving on and are pregnant or had babies recently. It's hard to explain but it's almost past with them but still very much present for me.

WeAreSeven Tue 24-Sep-13 08:49:39

dannika, I lost my baby girl to SIDS two years ago this Friday. My SIL had a baby girl 5 week later, and two of my cousins also had baby girls within a year.
My dd was prem and although the hospital were not directly to blame for her death, I do feel that perhaps if they'd kept her in a little longer, she might still be with us.
People who haven't lost a child can assume that the loss is like losing another family member, parent, grandparent, but worse.
We know it's not like that, I actually think that there should be another word for it other than grief because grief doesn't begin to describe it.
It does improve with time but is always, always there. People are afraid to "remind" you of your child and they don't realise that your child is always in your thoughts, you never forget for a minute. So they say nothing and you actually want to talk about your baby.
Annalise is such a lovely, lovely name.
Please join us on this thread for bereaved Mums.

dannika Tue 24-Sep-13 19:44:36

Thank you. I am so very sorry for your loss (I hate the wording of that phrase because it's not really that they are lost and we can find them) I do wish more people would talk about her because it's hard when people act like she never existed.I plan to stop this happening to any other person and I will be doing a cake sale for SANDS

dannika Wed 25-Sep-13 00:42:21

Im sorry about your niece. Love to you and your family. Thank you for everyone who has shared their stories I find some comfort in not bring alone with this loss and the feeling that go with it. Thank you

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