Dd best friend 2 year anniversary

(4 Posts)
Aceofspades79 Fri 13-Sep-13 16:19:57

Dd16 best friend died two years ago this week , she had a tough battle with cancer but fought it till the very end, she was a beautiful girl and was actually featured on the Irish version of the apprentice when she was in hospital talking about her ward smile, dd is so upset and miserable this week and has just been in zombie mode I don't know how to help her confused she constantly carries a photo of them both together, it's heartbreaking for me to watch her be in pain and she recently lost another friend out of the blue in December who was also a first cousin of hers and actually witnessed him pass away as they were in a friends house together after school confused it's all so much for someone so young, does anyone have any ideas on what to say to her or do for her , much appreciated sad

MrsDeVere Fri 13-Sep-13 16:57:46

Anniversaries are always hard and can take you by surprise.
They just have to be got through really.
There are no short cuts with grief, it has to run its course and that can take a long time.

Losing another friend in such a shocking way is obviously going to compound your poor DD's grief.

It is rare for young people to experience death these days and it can pull up all kinds of confusing feelings,
as well as the sadness.

It takes away that innocence, the feeling that nothing can touch you because you are young and invincible. The poor love has been shown in a brutal way that this is sadly not the case.

Let her talk about her friends when she wants, let her know that her feelings are normal and that she isn't going mad. Grief can feel like madness and its scary.

Try the Teenage Cancer Trust for advice. They are used to working with teens and they know all about cancer. They might be able to give you hints on how to talk to your DD.

I know its hard to watch but you cant really fix this for her. She has to work it through. Having a supportive parent will make all the difference to her though.

quoteunquote Fri 13-Sep-13 17:09:22

www.childbereavement.org.uk/
www.winstonswish.org.uk/
www.cruse.org.uk/

Get some professional help, if it is becoming overwhelming.

and in the mean time, go to the garden centre, farmer's merchant, or online.

let her choose some spring bulbs ones she thinks they would like, find a good spot favourite park, green, mass plant a selection for her friends, it sometimes really helps to do something positive, she could create something beautiful,

www.gee-tee.co.uk/

www.clare-bulbs.co.uk/

www.gardenexpress.com.au/landscaping-bulk-buys/

www.cottagesmallholder.com/buying-bulbs-in-bulk-and-a-few-bulb-planting-tips-6996/

I lost quite a few friends at that age,

When one friend died in a motorcycle crash, we added rambling roses, honeysuckle, wild flower seeds, and bulbs, to the bank and the hedge where he died, each year the spot bursts (bulbs double each year) with colour and scent, and we all think of him.

I have always planted as a way of thinking of someone.

Ohheavens Fri 13-Sep-13 21:11:19

Very sorry for your daughters losses, wishing her strength.
Xx

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