fuming - need advice - almost in tears.....

(38 Posts)

OK (this might not make a bunch of sense)

so today I have found out that the girlfriend of my dh's best friend has decided to write a book About (with a view to publishing and profiting from) my angel twins who were born sleeping after battling ttts.........without even asking us our opinion....

I am obviously not happy (I'm shaking writing this) and I don't want this to go ahead. I don't know what to do.

Pawprint Tue 26-Nov-13 10:10:25

That is absolutely disgusting.

I had a slightly similar experience some years back.

I am a published writer myself and agreed to contribute to an acquaintance's book. She had lost a baby due to premature birth and I had experienced miscarriage.

After the book was published (she published it herself as an e book) I looked at a copy and she had passed off almost all of my writing as her own work - that is, she stole what I wrote about my babies as though it was she who had lost them. Weird.

Anyway, the book bombed and I think that was the end of her writing 'career'.

I think your partner needs to speak to his friend ASAP and insist that this tasteless and inappropriate project is stopped.

Juneywoony Tue 26-Nov-13 07:58:37

Oh OP how truly awful, I'm shocked that somebody would actually do this!!

I'm angry on your behalf, it is not this woman's story to tell!!

As everyone else has said how truly insensitive and cruel of her, how bloody dare she!

I really hope you can stop her legally. xxxx

LilyTheSavage Mon 25-Nov-13 12:33:11

I am so sorry for your loss, and even more sorry that somebody you know feels it appropriate to write about it without even discussing it with you. It is mind blowing and just rubs salt in your wound. I lost my 21 year old son three and a half months ago and if anybody did what she is proposing to do I would -not be responsible for my actions - be very unhappy. It's a good idea to talk to CAB. Good luck. I hope she is put firmly back into her box.
Sending you hugs (and some tears on your behalf as well).
XXX

ModeratelyObvious Fri 13-Sep-13 23:38:34

So sorry, OP.

It may be worth writing to her to say that you will seek to inform any potential publisher of your objections to this book and your intention to seek legal action if possible. There's a handbook of literary agents, I believe - a standard letter to all of them would not cost too much in postage etc.

This may be enough to deter her or make her change the story somewhat, if she thinks potential agents will be put off by the letter.

What does your DH's friend say?

AuntyPippaAndUncleHarry Fri 13-Sep-13 21:09:37

AngelsLie link you posted is an American site. Comments I have made all relate to the law in England/Wales. OP where are you based? Obviously the law is totally different in USA to England and Wales.

MrsDeVere Fri 13-Sep-13 07:24:25

I would hope that SANDS would not give the book their endorsement and refused any monies raised.

Even if this whole book thing is a fantasy on her part, the idea that she would even think about it, let alone mention it to you, is abhorrent.

bloody hell!

SaintVera Thu 12-Sep-13 23:39:58

Appalling! I am so sorry this heartless woman is putting you through this

MrsKwazii Thu 12-Sep-13 22:29:19

Bloody hell Kate. I have no advice to give but am so sorry that you and your DH are being put through this. I sincerely hope that this woman can be brought to her senses. What's she's planning to do is just cruel angry

SisterMonicaJoan Thu 12-Sep-13 22:19:01

I am so angry to read that this "woman" wants to do. Has she no decency or compassion. To try and profit from your loss is utterly descipable. Heartless bitch.

Just wish there was something we could all do.

WeAreSeven Thu 12-Sep-13 22:01:14

Oh, Kate! ( It's chip, by the way, have namechanged) I cannot believe anyone could in any way think this is OK! I am so upset for you!

Is is supposed to be a fictional account? I am raging on your behalf!

AngelsLieToKeepControl Thu 12-Sep-13 21:27:51

I found this you might have a legal right to stop her by the look of it (I am absolutely not an expert but it looks like there could be something if you go along the invasion of your privacy route).

Guitargirl Thu 12-Sep-13 21:22:26

I can't offer any legal advice but I just wanted to include my voice to the support that has already been offered on this thread.

I cannot believe that she and your DH's so-called best friend think that this is an acceptable thing to do. What on earth does she think she will be achieving?

The only thing I could suggest is contacting whichever publisher she intends to approach to articulate how distressing this is for you.

Awful.

I will be devastated if I can't stop her. I'm already heartbroken. I CAN'T and I WON'T let her mess with my children - the three of them have suffered enough.

I will still go to the c.a.b.
Thank you ladies. If there is any more information I'll let you know.

sad

AuntyPippaAndUncleHarry Thu 12-Sep-13 20:22:38

OP very sorry for your loss and that you are having to go through this pain and upset with this stupid, insensitive woman. From a legal POV you could potentially seek an injunction to stop her publishing (not writing) but not sure if there are grounds in what you have said. Regarding what others said about confidentiality - medical records are confidential so she can't access them. She does not owe you any duty of confidentiality (assuming she is just a 'friend' and wasn't involved in the care of you/your children) therefore whatever she has heard from you is not protected by any legal duty of confidentiality. My advice would be to speak to her as calmly as you can and try to reason with her. I doubt there is a legal remedy and if you explain how you feel she may back off or find another family to focus on. I wish you well in trying to resolve this awful situation.

Here is what I have posted in legal I also added a link to this thread. Thank you all www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/1851091-someone-wants-to-write-a-book-about-my-angel-sons-i-do-not-want-this-to-happen

missmash Thu 12-Sep-13 20:07:48

I have no advice but I just want to say how sorry I am for you, the most traumatic event made so much worse by such a heartless woman.
Can she really not see that you will be devastated by her actions?
Sending thanksthanksthanks

TeaAndANatter Thu 12-Sep-13 19:56:39

First, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't believe that someone would be so mindblowingly callous as to benefit (money aside) from your bereavement.

Second, I must apologise for the language to be forthcoming. I'm usually a fairly mild mannered woman, and I don't swear a very great deal in public. But I do feel the strong need to say (and I need to have a wee blush here first) that this woman is an utter cunt. God. Sorry everyone, I know that's bloody awful, but I don't have anything ruder in my entire arsenal.

OK - I didn't know there was a legal part available on this website - I'm going to post the question there a bit later (Just sorting out my daughters school stuff -)with a link to this post.

Angelslie don't worry I fully intend to ruin everything for her....

AngelsLieToKeepControl Thu 12-Sep-13 19:23:40

Fucking hell.

Words fail me.

If she decides to go ahead with this then I suggest getting emailing every publisher/agent/whoever else deals with books in the country with her name, address and the book content and saying you fully intend to take legal action against anyone who deals with publishing it.

Hopefully it will be enough to put people off, make her look like an idiot and ruin her career before it even begins, furthermore I would tell her that I was going to do it. What an utter bitch.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 12-Sep-13 19:14:54

confused

expatinscotland Thu 12-Sep-13 19:13:14

Yes, One, she had stillborn twins. Now this chick seeks to profit from their misery angry.

Onesleeptillwembley Thu 12-Sep-13 19:08:52

Sorry I'm a bit confused. Did you have still born twins? And someone is writing a book about it without you asking them! That's not on!

LondonNinja Thu 12-Sep-13 19:06:15

WTAF?! Honestly, I despair.

See a lawyer. If there's anything identifying, you'll have a case to stop this. She sounds like a leech of the vilest kind. Am so sorry you're going through this after what you've already been through...

expatinscotland Thu 12-Sep-13 19:06:02

OMG! I would have gone fucking spare!

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