Need hand holding - watching a loved one slowly pass away.

(4 Posts)
ProtegeMoi Sat 07-Sep-13 20:51:26

I have been told today that my nan is not going to survive, heartbreaking is all I can say to describe that.

I am so devastated, confused and angry all at the same time, I just don't understand how this happened and can't help but blame the hospital for allowing this.

She was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago and has been battling it since, she was doing well and treatment had stopped when she began getting severe headaches. 3 weeks ago she was admitted to hospital as she couldn't cope with the increasing pain. She was out on morphine and had tests.

The doctors told us that she needs an MRI scan but the machine was broken. 2 weeks she has been waiting for that scan and still nothing!

This morning I get a phone call to tell me she has had a stroke. I went to see her and she is unconscious, she keeps having seizures and looks almost like she is in a coma, we cannot wake her. The hospital tell us she is dying but we don't know why.

All they can say is that she is too weak to fight it off, fight what off? We don't even know that the cancer had returned. We are left very much in the dark and all I can think is why did the scan take so long, could they have seen that this was coming, could they have stopped it.

I can't bear to sit and watch her die, I feel so helpless and no one is doing anything, they are not feeding her now and 'keeping her comfortable'

Just yesterday she was sitting up in bed chatting away like normal, what on earth happened?

I wish I knew the right words to help heal the pain that you are going through.
In your mind, gather up and go over all your happy memories of times past with your Nan and they will give you a touch of happiness to offset this heartbreaking sadness.
x

GladbagsGold Sun 08-Sep-13 09:09:23

ProtegeMoi I am so sorry. You really need to kick up a fuss and get some answers - do you have a partner or friend who can help you write a list and then insist on seeing senior hospital person TODAY to get answers. Leaving you to be able to be with your lovely nan. Whatever is going on, she deserves this all to happen with as much dignity as possible. Even if you cannot wake her I believe she will feel your love and presence- be with her, you are not sitting by doing nothing.

Thinking of you x

ProtegeMoi Sun 08-Sep-13 15:54:08

Thank you, I'm having a break this morning and will go up later. Still no difference, I hope she can still hear us.

My mum hasn't left her side, I hope she knows there is someone there. It's difficult to tell, she's just not responding to anything.

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