So sorry. It really is tough losing your parents. My dad died 24 years ago and my mum 2 years ago. I can go for a while feeling fine and than their loss hits me. Today it was a smiling photo on facebook of a friend with her parents and young son. My youngest will never know my parents and it hurts.
I lost my mum in may, she went to join my dad, 23 years after we lost him. My mum would help anyone she could. She didn't moan that she had been left to bring me and my sister up on her own because dad died when I was 15months old. She never complained that she nursed my dad through his cancer which he was diagnosed with 2 days after my first birthday or the fact that she was also nursing her own dad at the same time who was slowly dying and who she would lose 24 days after my father. Leaving her unsure of whether she would have somewhere to live and two kids. Me a baby n my sister 6. She was truly amazing. She was there for us unconditionally no matter what. My sister was hell to live with but my mum always stood by us. She wasn't the best mum in the world but she done her best and it must have been hard. It's just sad she never spoke about my dad more, I know so little about him. I miss them both so much. The father I never got chance to know. And the mum I knew so well and miss so much. I am hoping she would be proud of me. The secret I have kept for the last 13yrs cos I never wanted her to feel like she failed to protect me. I miss our chats, pointless, nothing talks that just shared our normal lives. That connected us as mother and daughter. How I could tell hr anything. I love them both and I hope they are reunited together. The magpie I keep seeing I know is you mum and I love you.