I lost my friend

(10 Posts)
MoominMammasHandbag Thu 29-Aug-13 22:41:01

Thank you for posting Vicki. It is such a special thing isn't, a deep childhood friendship. I guess we should both be thankful for the fact that we had that. I wish you all the best.

vicki2010 Thu 29-Aug-13 14:43:55

The exact same thing happened to me and I think everyone thought I was exaggerating my Grief and perhaps some thought I was seeking attention but I genuinely was devastated after hearing about the sudden death of my first best friend. We shared our first day at nursery together and school,first holiday abroad,first boyfriend experiences we were glued at the hip and when I had children we drifted apart so I hadn't see her for ten years when I found out she had died but it took me a good couple of years before I managed to talk about her without crying. I pay visit to the place she died every so often and lay flowers with messages to her family hoping someone acknowledges my words and I take comfort from that and hope her family do to,the fact that someone still goes who isn't family,just remembering her and her funny ways,talking about her now to keep her memory alive all helps. It's awful and I completely understand how you feel but as they say time is a healer and it really is. I am able to talk openly about her now and remember the good times. So sorry for your loss x

MoominMammasHandbag Thu 29-Aug-13 00:45:45

You are all lovely, and wise.

Isindesidecar Thu 29-Aug-13 00:44:57

So so sorryto hear about the sad loss of your friend.
I don't think there is a time limit or qualificaation of a relationship for feeling grief and loss and you are right and appropriate n crying and feeling the bereavement you feel.

On sunday a beautiful young woman I have seen grow from a tiny baby into a vibrant young 18year old with her whole life ahead of her was killed ina car crash. We were not that close but she lived next door to my parents and I had seen her grow from toddler to teenager...I have cried and sobbed at the waste of life, anguish of her family and the sheer sadness of it.
Your response is one of simple humanity and grief at the loss of a friend. My heart and my best wishes go out to you.

gallicgirl Thu 29-Aug-13 00:43:38

It sucks.

Big time.

There's that one bit of your heart that belonged to her at that point in time and now its gone. So sorry for you and sending you lots of love.

CointreauVersial Thu 29-Aug-13 00:42:41

It's the passing of time; mourning for your youth and who you (and your friend) once were.

Totally understandable to be sad.

MoominMammasHandbag Thu 29-Aug-13 00:41:14

Thank you Zadok

CrazyHamsterdisguisedasatree Thu 29-Aug-13 00:40:53

I understand to Moomin thanks

ZadokTheBeast Thu 29-Aug-13 00:39:01

I understand.

Doesn't matter that you haven't seen her for a while. If your friendship was special, it was special. You're allowed to grieve and feel upset. Something of you has been lost, part of your own history if you like.

flowers

MoominMammasHandbag Thu 29-Aug-13 00:36:06

No one seems very interested in his in real life. they seem to think i'm disproportionately sad or something
About a year ago my Mum rang me up and told me my childhood best friend had died of cancer at the age of 49. We had both long moved away from our home village so my Mum only found out second hand from someone who remembered always seeing us together arm in arm around the place.
She was a very vibrant, charismatic, beautiful person; everyone wanted to be her friend, but it was always me, from our first day at school to when we gradually drifted apart after University, so maybe 20 or so years of my life.
I was a fairly shy kid, and she did boss me about quite a bit, but she always, always looked out for me. I suppose we knew things about each other that no one else will ever know.
And that's it really. I hadn't even seen her for about 20 years. I didn't know she was ill or about the funeral or anything. But I'm sitting here now with tears running down my face cos I really, really loved her when I was young. And, like the song, I always thought I see her once again.

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