My father died when I was two years old. My mother refused to speak about him (or let anyone else speak about him) and was grief stricken and heavily medicated all of my childhood. She died when I was in my early teens. I grieved for my mother at the time (I was an only child and her death hit me very hard) but I have never grieved for my father).
Some time ago I had CBT (for ongoing issues of anxiety and depression) and a passing comment from the counsellor at the end of our course of sessions was that I should process the grief from my father's death.
As I sort of fell into the role of my mother's carer and never wanted to upset her, I never pushed for information about him and I know very little. I have one of his possessions and one photo of him. I know that his parents are dead and that he was an only child. My mother had no contact with his family as he didn't have close living relatives, though I am sure he had extended family who I could trace (who might be able to tell me what he was like).
I feel a bit of a fraud posting this in bereavement but I wonder how I could grieve and process the emotions. I was always a very anxious and depressed child which I guess could be linked to that early experience of his death? And also the aftermath with my mother falling apart. I have a sense of guilt and sadness that I can't remember him at all. I was always fascinated when I saw friends with their fathers. How do babies/toddlers experience bereavement?
I am not sure where I am going with this but I would be really grateful for any insights into the effects of bereavement on small children and also how I might process the bereavement.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.
Bereavement
grieving for a parent you can't remember
4 replies
scripsi · 24/08/2013 17:00
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.