My sister has gone.

(31 Posts)
shallweshop Sat 17-Aug-13 15:20:36

I can't believe I am writing this about my clever, funny, beautiful big sister but she died on Thursday night. She had been ill with liver and kidney problems since march and was in hospital for 4 months. She came out in June and was making slow but steady progress. Then on Sunday she became ill again and was admitted to critical care where they found out she had an infection. She deteriorated rapidly and we lost her on thursday.

I am so scared about the journey I have to face. We lost our dad 16 months ago and our mum 7 years ago but we faced the losses together and she was always the strong one. She was my only sister. I can't begin to think how I am going to cope when the reality of not having her in my life any more really hits.

I have my DH and 2 DC but have now lost all of my original family. The weight of grief is suffocating.

shallweshop Sun 18-Aug-13 22:27:19

Thank you. I have emailed CRUSE as I really think that I will need some help with this one. Today has been strangely ok as I haven't cried very much. I think I am in denial and am kidding myself on some level that she is still here. I live an hour away from her house so it is easy for me to pretend.

t875 Tue 20-Aug-13 09:37:19

I hope CRUSE will be able to help you. I feel for you so much. Hope you are going along the best you can it is an immensely hard horrendous time.

My thoughts are with you xx

NothingsLeft Tue 20-Aug-13 21:06:00

So very sorry for you losses. How utterly heartbreaking for you thanks

shallweshop Wed 21-Aug-13 19:16:02

I had a panic attack this morning - first time in my life! My heart was beating so fast and I couldn't get it to calm down. I dumped the kids on my lovely neighbour and went straight to the dr. They did an ECG which, thankfully, was normal. I have felt awful since and my chest still hurts.

stillbusy84 Thu 22-Aug-13 01:35:04

Sending you my sympathy. Sorry for what you are going through. My situation is similar but i am further down the line. I lost my dad over 20 years ago and than my sister followed by my mum within a year of each other.
She was my eldest sister too.
Sending you hugs.

shallweshop Thu 22-Aug-13 09:26:03

Thank you for all your supportive comments.

Stillbusy - my heart goes out to you also. It is so difficult and I know I am going to be incredibly jealous of most of my friends who still have their entire families around them.

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