Dear friends, I have a question for you. On Monday, I have a job interview. It came up unexpectedly, as I hadn't really been thinking about work just yet, but it is a good role, and I had decided that my own consultancy isn't what I want to do for the next little while. But the thing is, I haven't actually properly worked since before Mia was born - I have done bits and pieces in my consultancy, but I enjoyed the pregnancy, and then my time with her, and then last year, while I was seriously grieving and trying to figure out my 'new' life, I became pregnant again and did my Olympic Gamesmaker role, and then we had Mia's inquest. My question is - how much do you think I should explain / reveal if asked about the last few years? I can talk about Mia without breaking down, but I don't want to look flaky or have a 'sympathy vote' either.
Oh that's a tough question, I think I.could only.see what came out of.my mouth at the time I think I.would say though because I wouldn't want to feel like ds is a.secret or worry about how.I'm going to bring the subject up. So I would be happier getting it out there sooner rather than later if that makes sense Best of luck with it
yes that's kinda what I was trying to say, I would try to do too
I feel better once it's out there, so to speak
I went for the glucose tolerance test today, and got chatting to a nice lady of course one of the first questions is, is this your first..... I handled it quite well today I think I maybe starting ot find that question slightly easier, or im just having a mentally better day!
well done white! I think time does make it easier. I think if you say a thing enough times, eventually the worst bit of the horror goes out of it and it's less difficult. Never easy but less difficult.
oh thanks. I think the advice to sort a script to say helps
helps it roll of the tongue
well, this is my third, I have one dd who is six, and sadly our son ds name, died shorthly after he was born due to massive heart problems
that's what ive been saying and it helps it have it ready up my sleeve perhaps i'm just getting more used to saying it too
mias, i'm glad mine and chips thoughts echo your own if you are asked about your life, and what you have been upto over the last few years your just simply telling them what you've been upto and It will hopefully make things easier and you wont be worry about how when etc to tell them about mia xxxxx
<<<<<<<HUGS>>>>>>>>> white. It is awful, isn't it when you have to learn the lines of your life? To rehearse saying something so shocking so that you will deliver the lines without breaking down.
"I had five but my youngest died" I have stopped saying "I have four boys and I had a little girl but she died" because some idiots say heartily "Four boys! That keeps you busy!" and ignore my girl. Dh says it's because they don't know what to say but I really think anyone should be able to do better than that. Even "I'm sorry" would be better.
Mias, how is Mia's Wood now? Is the gate fixed yet? I keep thinking of it and how violated you must have felt.
Esp dreading meeting new people, grieving for your old self as well as your child, peoples patience and concern running out, peoples idiotic unwanted advise, the fact the sadness never reduces you just get more used to it, the fact noone ever asks how dd is coping, being told to be grateful for what you Do have and feeling angry about things people have done or not done.
The other day, a friend asked me how I was coping with the pg, I said I'm finding it tough, but I'm taking it a day at a time, but its hard after losing ds
She replied yeah well I suppose it gets easier with time doesn't it
It was like we where having two totally diff conversations.
Just thinking maybe one of us could post that article in chat, so more people see it,likethe author says, if it helps on parent be treated better, due to someone reading this article it will be well worth it ?
This is a quote taken from one of the comments below.
"Do not judge the bereaved mother. She comes in many forms. She is breathing, but she is dying. She may look young, but inside she has become ancient. She smiles, but her heart sobs. She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS but she IS NOT, all at once. She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity. ~Author Unknown