Grief hitting me hard

(10 Posts)
LucyBabs Sun 21-Jul-13 19:11:52

I lost my Mum 8 months ago after she battled Ovarian cancer for just four short months, she was just 65 and she was my best friend and best supporter smile

Four months later my Dad passed away too.. He had bad health for 15 years, my mam was his carer. They didnt have a great relationship at the end and I had no relationship with him at all. His death still hit me hard I suppose I was grieving for the relationship I never had.

I am really struggling this week.
The enormity of my mams death has hit me all over again. The physical pain is unbearable like a rock where my heart should be and stomach ache all day everyday.

I miss her so so much I just want to hear her voice or hear her laughing, just to know she is OK and knows we miss and love her so much.

I am taking antidepressants for pnd, they help get me through the day, force me out of bed and help me to put the fake happy face on.

I have two young dc. I also have brothers and sisters, although we meet regularly we are not close I find it hard to talk to them about how we are all feeling. They like me are very good at putting on their fake happy faces.

Sometimes I wish I could run away from my thoughts and feelings, no such luck sad

MrsWolowitz Sun 21-Jul-13 19:13:22

I'm so sorry sad

I don't have any words of advice but ill hold your hand until a wiser MNer comes along.

flowers

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sun 21-Jul-13 19:16:19

My heart goes out to you,have you approached somewhere like Cruse for bereavement counselling?

telsa Sun 21-Jul-13 22:03:05

How very very hard. To lose your mother when she was so close to you and so young really is monstrous and to lose your father soon after makes life seem just cruel. I send you every sympathy and agree that bereavement counselling could be very helpful. I know just how you feel about wishing to hear your mother laugh again. I really do. All we have are our memories, but at least we have those.

mummylin Sun 21-Jul-13 22:09:04

Please pop over to the bereavement support thread for anyone grieving for a parent We mostly all feel like you but help each other get through.

LucyBabs Sun 21-Jul-13 22:13:25

Thanks for all your kind words.

I am seeing a counsellor its not helping so far but I'm going to stick with it.

mummylin
I have noticed that thread but felt too nervous to jump into an active conversation I'll try though smile Thank you

madasa Mon 22-Jul-13 08:50:54

I'm sorry for your losses.

I recognise the grieving for a relationship you never had....I grieved that way when my mother died.

I think you would find the thread mummylin mentioned very helpful. It doesn't matter that it is an active conversation. I post there sometimes ....everybody is very supportive.

It is such early days for you. My dad died 21 months ago. It is still just as painful but I have learnt (with the help of ads) to live alongside the pain if that makes sense.

Try to take just one day at a time, if that is too difficult then an hour.

Some days the best I could manage was 5 minutes at a time.

Be kind to yourself

StupidMistakes Wed 24-Jul-13 19:46:02

I lost my mum on may 15th, she was admitted to hospital 18th April n spent two weeks there, she was sent home with terminal liver cancer on May 2nd n it 13 short days lost her fight. She would have been 66 at the end of May. It didn't feel real until I saw her coffin n I just broke down. I cried through the whole funeral, n I placed a rose upon her coffin n a pic of my son, her only granchild who she adored. I whispered words to that coffin no one will ever know. I couldn't have done it without the girl who is more a sister to me than my blood one is.

Don't be afraid to cry or to remember or to laugh its gonna take time but it will get easier.

StupidMistakes Wed 24-Jul-13 19:48:03

I lost my dad at 15 months old. I can't remember him.

LucyBabs Wed 24-Jul-13 20:35:28

Oh stupid mistakes I'm so very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself x

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