Hello Kansas. I haven't read your whole thread but I thought I would say I feel your pain. It's a month today since I lost my mum to liver cancer and less than two since she was diagnosed. I can barely bare the pain.
Yesterday was bloody hard. So final. The burial was to be honest bloody horrible- I wept buckets.
But the service in the afternoon was better- happier and loads of nice memories of Dad. My Dh did the Eulogy with my cousin- Dh's bit was about more recent years and my cousin's was about the earlier years. Dh was brilliant and his speech made me cry.
Took my Ds to Dad's grave after the service to lay flowers and say his goodbye. He kissed the cross marking Dad's grave
I was exhausted by the end of the day but still not sleeping well
Today was a bit weird. We've been in this bubble for weeks and now the bubble as burst and life has to return to normal- whatever normal is now.
Went shopping in Exeter with dh. Mum jumped at the chance to have Ds for the afternoon which she never really did before - they had a lovely afternoon together and probably wore Mum out in a good way!
Kansasmum, I have read this whole thread and am so sorry for your loss. I lost my darling dad in April and tomorrow is my first Father's Day without him, feel so sad and empty. My dad had a long illness too - he had Parkinson's, then lots of other things wrong, finally was in hospital for more than 2 months with recurrent chest infections and the last complication was pneumonia. I cherish the last week I had with him, when I told him all he meant to me, told him it was ok to let go and go to heaven, and I promised him I would always make him proud. The grief is hard and comes in bumps and waves, but it has brought the rest of our family closer together. You sound like a lovely daughter and your dad will be watching over you and be with you in spirit always. I hope you get through tomorrow ok. Thinking of you and your family x
I have been without my dad for over 30 years and still miss him. For the last ten years of his life I didn't live in the same country and so did not see him that much, but we stayed in touch. He died a week before my dd was born, so I couldn't attend the funeral. All three of us (Kansas, Fluffy and I) are lucky to have had good fathers whose memories we cherish.