I cant help it, I need you lot, dp died yesterday, I cant stop seeing it, it hurts so much

(1000 Posts)
TrinityRhino Sat 11-May-13 08:40:14

everything hurts, I cant close my eyes without seeing it happening
he collapsed at home
I did chest compressions till the ambulance came
they tried for ages but he was gone
I cant stop seeing it
my arms hurt, my heart hurts
I'm exhausted
I cant do this again

Trinity, there is always someone here on MN. (((Hugs))) my darling. You are doing fantastically. Is there anyone you can ring. I'm sure your local friends would love to be able to help in some small way. Be brave and ring someone?

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 20:34:11

they would be here but they cant

my friend who cooks lovely food is coming over tomorrow morning to be here with me when I have to chose the coffin

purple is very busy tomorrow

his ex wife may pop over

ClaraOswald Tue 14-May-13 20:35:24

That's what we are for. Company so you aren't alone.

We're all here... {hugs}

I am glad they were able to give you a cause of death; does it help knowing that it was sudden and inevitable, just one of those shitty thing?

Your plans sound good and I am impressed a the good 'working relationship you have with his ex-wife.

Oh, yes, Minecraft. being cross with you for having lost the diamond will give your DD1 an 'easy out' for being cross with you. Anger at you over something trivial in the greater scheme of things is easier to bear than confronting her grief sad.

As ever, you sound strong as as together as anybody could be expected to be under the circumstances.

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 20:36:09

I best start the new thread
what shall i call it

Im so sorry to read this Trinity, I remember your thread from before too (though I have namechanged since) and I was so happy to read how things got so much better for you. Im still so happy that you got to know and love this wonderful man, if only for a short while. Its unfair and wrong, and Im probably rambling and saying the wrong things but please know you are all being thought of. Do please reach out to people, they will want to help you. xx

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 20:40:54
IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 14-May-13 20:40:59

D you have anything that you really need to do this evening? Don't push yourself too hard this soon.

Call your new thread whatever feels right.

My place to offload, by Trinity the Brave would be fitting smile

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 20:42:58

I wasn't so poetic Iwish blush

Mouseface Tue 14-May-13 21:31:30

Trin - physically, you have no 'adult' there, but you have your girls, and YOU HAVE US.

There is at least one of us there with you single every minute, of every single hour, of single every day.

You are not alone. You are not, I promise you.

I know this thread is coming to the end which may feel wrong, so put it on you watch list so you can back to it when you want to if you think it will help.

Gather up the words you want to take with you, the strength that Cliff gave you is staying with you, it will come to the next thread too, in your heart so that's sorted... smile

Take what you need and turn the page. That's all you have to do tonight, we'll all move over with you darling lady, we'll all follow your lead.

YOU didn't upset DD, the situation did, her emotions did, her grief did, the fact that she'd been with you and worked hard to get those damn diamonds did.

NOT YOU.

I'll see you on the other thread lovely. One Post At A Time.

I wish that I had one of those Star Trek transporter type thingymebobs and could whizz up there to be with you tonight, just to sit, hold you if you wanted me to, feed you with cake, chocolate, cake, cheese, well, maybe that would be for me wink

Listen to stories of Cliff, the daft things he did, farting and blaming it on Lolly to make the girls giggle? The way he'd chase them until they got hiccups? grin

One of his 'tricks'? Stories of his hat, The Hat. Stories of days out, nights in, stories of you sat up all night talking about life, love and laundry.

I'm saying goodnight to you all now lovely, you and your beautiful girls.

See you on the new thread in the morning.

Love to you all. That and cake grin

Mouse xx

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Tue 14-May-13 22:16:05

I am so sorry. Can't find words but just wanted to add condolences.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Tue 14-May-13 22:20:32

This is no time for poetic thread titles Trinity.

yours is much better.

TrinityRhino Tue 14-May-13 22:36:53

mouse that was a wonderful post . Thank you

MoogDroog Tue 14-May-13 22:57:53

Oh Trinity, I am so so sorry. He looks like a lovely man. I cant imagine how you feel. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Mouseface Wed 15-May-13 10:05:32

* - Sorry about getting my 'every single's mixed up! blush

<typoqueen>

Mouseface Wed 15-May-13 10:10:01

Trin - I hope you don't mind but I'm going to fill this thread up and just post the link to the new one now as everyone seems to be over there.

I hope that's okay?

See you over there in a bit lovely xx

TRINITY'S NEW THREAD

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