I can't imagine how difficult this must be to go through, my heart really does go out to you. I'm sorry, I have no words to ease your pain, no coping strategies to help see you through, but I didn't want to read and run.
Reading the piece about your Dad, will, I'm sure, have made him SO proud, and I hope it gives you some comfort to send him off with a fitting eulogy, and to make those gathered remember the man you knew and what he meant to you.
Wishing you every strength. I hope you have the support you need in RL. x
I am sorry to see the news about your dad. I don't think I can link from iPad but we do have a support thread for people grieving for one of their parents,maybe you would like to join us there . It is in bereavement.
I am so sorry. I lost my Dad a few months ago, so I feel your pain. I found the actual funeral strangely bearable, I didn't cry until I got in the car to go home and then I sobbed for most of the long journey back. I wish I had spoken at the funeral, I did sing, but it was a recording as others in my choral group couldn't come and I wanted the sound of all six voices. My dd, 7, did a lovely reading. That time now feels like a blur, only now is it really hitting me how much I miss him, it feels so long since I've seen him now. Really look after yourself , I came down with a nasty kidney infection a month after Dad died, which is apparently not unusual, and was in bed for a month, I am now having constant reactions to things and very hyper allergic, and I think the stress has been a big factor, so rest when you can, eat well, and don't push yourself to do things until you are ready. Grieving is a long process, and things tend to hit one from the side,for instance I was ok buying his coffin, but one little innocent comment from my dd had me in floods of tears. The only thing I can say is that your Dad will always be with you, he is part of you and you will carry that part into the future. Wishing you strength and support, and lots of hands to hold you.