My lovely df is in intensive care

(11 Posts)
booksinbed Wed 28-Nov-12 16:08:57

My Darling dad is in intensive care.He was diagnised with stomach cancer and decided to have to surgery to try to get it despite being high risk.He came thro and the cancer was cleared.He was in hig dependancy for a while and then went on a ward.We were so so releived.However a few days later the site of the surgery ruptured and seeveral interventions and 6 wks later he is in intensive care and until last week was not breathing on his own ,kidneys on filter machine and bpressure problems.The meds decided to fit a traceotomy to see if he can breathe for self ,which he is doing and they have taken him off sedation but he has not woken up.The nurse advses that this may take a lot time - or he may not as he has been on sedation for so long.He still needs kidney support.We just dont know if he wills urvive or not and am taking it day to day but as christmas approaches im finding it harder an d harder.I live a three mile drive away and i fel so far away both physicaly and that i just cant reach him...

BeaWheesht Wed 28-Nov-12 16:56:10

Oh I'm sorry and I hope he improves soon. I have been in your position it's crap and I think people don't understand how hard it is until they've been through it

Do you mean a three hour drive? Could you manage to et there anytime?

ISingSoprano Wed 28-Nov-12 17:01:35

I am so sorry that your dad is so poorly. I have been there too and know the feeling of uselessness. Try not to anticipate the future - just concentrate on the here-and-now and go and see him as often as you can.

allegrovivace Wed 28-Nov-12 17:11:59

So sorry to hear what a tough time you are having. No advice to give - just wanted to say my thoughts are with you.

booksinbed Thu 29-Nov-12 09:01:42

bea- yes sorry meant 3 hr drive away....
Thankyou all for your lovely comments - needed to talk on here as im trying to carry on at home but getting snappy with dh when he complains re little things which of course is normal but im struggle to cope with...feel v v tired.thankyou all again.x

What a horrid time for you all, have some hugs xx

ladythatlunches Fri 14-Dec-12 20:21:24

Oh books, I could of wrote your story word for word 4 years ago with my dad, EXACTLY the same thing happend

Cancer op (lung) ended up in intensive care, tracioctomy (sp?) kidneys failed on dialysis.

They also took sadation off and he wouldn't wake up for ages, but he did eventually, but he was so week he couldn't move his arms legs etc!

It was such a hard time, makes me feel sick thinking about it, like a different world and very hard!

WHEN your dad wakes up he may be very confused and scared, it must be so scarey, I but I wish you all the best and hope your dad gets better really soon.

booksinbed Wed 19-Dec-12 14:20:34

lady- my darling dad got to the tracototomy stage - they even took it out for a few mins so he could speak and he said he loved me.Then he got tissue infection and it staterd to overwhelm him and all his major organs and we were told he was dying - he was changing hr by hr.we had to make the decision to gently remove life support - they said he wd pass away between half hour and 8 hours and he died in 5 mins- we were all with him and talking to him and i had my head on his chest.

MovingOnNow Thu 20-Dec-12 14:40:00

Hi, very sorry to read of your loss. My own dad died at the beginning of this month and we just had the funeral this week. Hope you are ok, I was in a total daze for two days after, it's a very strange time. Feels a bit better to be on the other side of the funeral. Take it easy if you can, takes time to get over it.

ladythatlunches Thu 20-Dec-12 20:43:43

I'm so so so sorry book sad

My dad also didn't make it. No words will make you feel better.
Hugs to you

QuickLookBusy Thu 20-Dec-12 21:24:59

I'm so sorry books I'm so glad your darling Dad could tell you he loved you.

I lost my Dad to cancer, 5 years ago. It's a horrible time and you will feel lost and in a daze. Please be gentle with yourself.x

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