problem with 16wk pregnancy - going to have to terminate - help

(92 Posts)
Manoo Thu 02-Mar-06 12:33:29

I have just had very bad news. I was pregnant but had very bad bleeding so assumed I had had a miscarrage. However, I didn't feel right so went to the docs and found I had high hcg levels. Had a scan this morning...

The baby is there and alive, but has something very wrong with it (would rather not go into details, too upsetting) so I'm going to have a termination. I'll find out tomorrow exactly how this will be done, but was told today it would most likely be a tablet for me to expel it myself.

I'm terrified of having to go through this. I don't know what anyone could say to make me feel better, but I just felt I wanted to 'talk' (if only over the internet). I feel in such a state of shock, and feel strangely ashamed that my body has created something with something so wrong with it.

choccywoccydoodaa Thu 09-Mar-06 19:30:08

Manoo - what a brave woman you are. It sounds as if you, your dh and ds will carry each other through this incredibly difficult time. I have to say that despite the trauma and loss you have experienced, you appear to have dealt with this as positively as anyone ever could have. It was lovely that you and your dh were able to say goodbye to your little boy. I send you and all of your loved ones my best wishes at this terribly sad time.

Northerner Thu 09-Mar-06 19:38:46

Just seen this and had to post. Manoo I respect your courage and your spirit. My thoughts are with you.

This is why I love MN. When everyone rallies round to offer support. Particularly ladies who have experienced tragedy themselves.

milward Thu 09-Mar-06 21:03:04

thoughts are with you manoo xxx take care of yourself.

wools Fri 10-Mar-06 11:06:23

Manoo, I'm so sorry to read what has happened to you. I think you have been very brave and I hope that over the coming months the pain will ease for you. Thinking of you at this difficult time.

Twinkie1 Fri 10-Mar-06 11:19:41

Big hugs to you - never been through this myself but my sister went through it at 23.5 weeks and the things that helped her most (Marinas ideas) were to get a special box and keep everything you have from your pregnancy in it - sort of a marker that you have been pregnant and something to remember your son/daughter by.

There are a couple of books that helped my sister I think the best one was called 'empty cradl Broken Heart' - its available on Amazon.

And one more thing - see if you can find out what sex your child is - a friend had a late miscarriage and is terribly upset that she didn't.

Oh and sorry to go on - but talk to your DH/DP - go through the loss together and remember he is hurting too and losing someone who he also cared about - sounds silly but so many people care for the mother and forget the father.

Really really hope that you all get through this all ok.

MummyPig Sat 11-Mar-06 01:02:57

Manoo, have only just seen this thread, am crying as I read it, haven't experienced anything close to this myself but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you

xxx

wabbitintheheadlamps Sat 11-Mar-06 02:03:43

Manoo - thoughts and love to you xx

ghosty Sat 11-Mar-06 06:48:09

Dear Manoo ... I am sorry to read about this. I am thinking of you xxx

harrisey Sun 12-Mar-06 19:43:18

Manoo, just wanted to add that my thoughts are with you. Take care xxx

Hulababy Sun 12-Mar-06 19:49:31

I am so sorry you lost your baby Manoo. Take care.

CarlyP Mon 13-Mar-06 10:24:55

thinknig of you and your family.

cx

manoo so sorry, I have only just seen this.

No advice really, just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have had to go through this.

Clary Mon 13-Mar-06 10:38:47

manoo I too have only just seen this. I am so sorry about your loss of your baby. I do hope the way you have dealt with it and support from your family will help you to get through this.
Claryx

morningpaper Mon 13-Mar-06 10:43:26

Manoo, so sorry you have lost your baby. My thoughts are with you today. xxx

Yorkiegirl Mon 13-Mar-06 10:50:58

Message withdrawn

Ceilidhsmum Tue 21-Mar-06 17:33:28

I've only just joined Mumsnet and I saw your post. Firstly can I send you a thousand hugs, I know what you have been through. My first little girl was diagnosed with anencephaly at 17 weeks in 1994. I was totally devastated. There was no internet to help me understand this condition and I had to go with what the doctors told me. They told me I could terminate or carry on. I decided to carry on as that felt like the right thing for me to do, but I have friends (through an internet support group) that have terminated. Ceilidh was still born at 42 weeks. If you want to email me just to 'chat' I am willing to 'listen'. It may have been over 11 years ago, but my daughter is very much still in my heart. Take care, love Yvonne xxx
ceilidhs_mum@yahoo.co.uk

TOPFAResearch Thu 15-Aug-13 21:30:57

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