In memory of our lovely Aillidh

(1440 Posts)
expatinscotland Sun 08-Jul-12 11:56:58

At 11.25 last night, our beautiful, 9-year-old daughter died of complications from treatment for acute myeloid leukaemia, she went into respiratory failure after contracting human metapneumo virus following conditioning chemotherapy for stem cell transplant.

For many days, she lingered on a ventilator. But last night, she developed a pneumothorax and rapidly deteriorated.

She died within seconds of the ventilator being taken off.

I can't believe she's gone, or how broken her long body looked.

Elephantscanwearorangeandgold Sun 09-Sep-12 07:21:27

I know you probaly dont read this thread, but I want you to know i still think of you x

I have been awayvl expat. I visited a cathederql, there wqs one candle bearing the words for aillidh. Sleep sound in the arms of god.

My candle says for aillidh always an angel. I lit it and thought of you.
Never far from my thoughts expat. Xx

Mellower Mon 03-Sep-12 19:35:04

Always thinking of you and am in awe of your strength and now you are helping people spot the early signs of this horrid disease. Still so very very sad for you and your family.

We lit a candle in York minster today for ailidh, I was thinking about you all.

FutTheShuckUp Mon 20-Aug-12 17:12:59

Expat I dont know what to say. I wish with all my heart this didnt have to happen to your beautiful girl and if there was any justice in the world you wouldnt be missing her right now. You have been so strong and amazing and moved mountains and never gave up in your fight for Aillidh

Your reality is so unfair. So sorry love

sad

ChestyNut Fri 17-Aug-12 19:52:10

I think of Aillidh each time I hear call me maybe.

Life is so unfair at times.

Thinking of you all x

NoHunIntended Fri 17-Aug-12 19:46:40

sad

expatinscotland Fri 17-Aug-12 19:36:09

I hate that this is our reality now. No Aillidh.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere Fri 17-Aug-12 19:14:02

Expat. We start school in Sept. down our way.
I still can't bear it. Not after all this time and long after Billie would have left.
It's just all that newness, uniforms, shoes, classes and stuff.

I hate September.

Hugs to you x

2old2beamum Fri 17-Aug-12 18:49:24

My thoughts are still with you.

When Stefen died a friend wrotein a card

Remember your hopes and not your fears,
Remember her smiles and not her tears,
Her life was as full as it could be,
Now she has found peace and tranquility
XXXXXX

VerityBrulee Fri 17-Aug-12 00:52:37

God, Expat, what an awful burden for you to carry, so, so sad for you and wish I could make it all better. Reading your posts puts all my worries into perspective, they are so insignificant in comparison.

I think of Aillidh all the time. Love to you and your family x

It must be awful to have the firsts, they are reminding you of what she will never so again.

I wiah she was able to have the firsts but she will watch her siblings do these firsts and guide thekm all the way.

blueshoes Wed 15-Aug-12 22:42:03

Expat, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful daughter.

JustFabulous Wed 15-Aug-12 20:12:53

Bloody hell, that choked me up.

Expat, I really wish I knew what to say. It must be agonising to keep having firsts without A and constant reminders (not that you need them) of what she and you all are missing.

I don't really post much on this thread any more but I think of you often.

expatinscotland Wed 15-Aug-12 20:07:10

Thanks, MAM.

Another sad first today: the kids went back to school. Without their sister.

expat, just want to say that... well, nothing really, because I know there is nothing I can say to take away the pain. But you and Aillidh are in my heart, nestled next to Mia, in a place that is safe and beautiful, and where our girls are smiling at us.

Still thinking about you

There will be so many painful 'firsts': the first holiday without her, the first Christmas, her next birthday. The Everyday Firsts without Ailildh will keep coming hard and fast and they are so, so hard. Nobody can live through them for you, my love.
Keep being kind to yourself and hug Roisin and Struan tight.

We are just back from a glorious weekend around Aviemore and I thought of Ailidh's smile as the sun set on Loch Morlich. If only all of us on this thread could carry some of the load for you sad.

Love and strength to you all xx

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Tue 14-Aug-12 07:07:55

Expat - I really don't have any words - just lots of hugs & love and a bit more strength to help you day to day xxx

Elephantscantdothemoonwal Mon 13-Aug-12 20:24:15

The things we all take for granted you will never share with her again. Its so so unfair. I too check facebook and read the updates i have no reason why i do because they are there and it reminds me that we are not all lucky, we all need to take every second as it comes.

She did just that.
Love to you x

Furball Mon 13-Aug-12 17:41:56

expat - I once again have no proper words for you but I am listening and agree with *stealth it's all so, so unfair xxx

schobe Mon 13-Aug-12 17:38:46

So sorry expat, I've never stopped thinking of you. I like to read your updates here and on facebook because, well, I dunno. Just letting us keep an internet eye on you I suppose to see how you're doing. There are lots of us reading and 'supporting' from afar. I like hearing about Aillidh and her lovely wee personality.

all the normal stuff we all take for granted. I wish I could comfort you. It is so utterly unfair, there is no reason or logic.

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