A Reading/Poem for Funeral of Stillborn baby girl

(36 Posts)
Thirtysix Thu 12-Jan-06 12:58:50

My best friend gave birth to a stillborn little girl (India) on Tuesday.I have spent time over the last two days with her,her partner and the baby in the delivery suite.I managed to find a very small babygrow so when they leave her later today she will be "warm".

I needn't say how devastating this is for all of them but they have asked me to read at her funeral.I just wondered if any of you wonderful people know of any lovely poems/readings I may be able to use?

shrub Thu 12-Jan-06 13:05:49

so so sorry for your best friend.
do not stand at my grave and weep is a beautiful poem and has brought me comfort
xxx

Roobie Thu 12-Jan-06 13:10:34

Sorry to hear about your friend. My friends had Remember by Christina Rossetti at the funeral of their stillborn son last year.


Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Rossetti

frogs Thu 12-Jan-06 13:11:32

Or this one, by Christina Rossetti:


Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

bundle Thu 12-Jan-06 13:12:17

if she hasn't got one already, do get her a nice pretty box which she can put some keepsakes in to remember her by.

acnebride Thu 12-Jan-06 13:15:13

This one is apparently used at a lot of funerals, I read it first in Family by Susan Hill and cry every time, I think it is beautiful.

The Noble Nature by Ben Jonson

The Noble Nature

It is not growing like a tree
In bulk, doth make Man better be;
Or standing long as oak, three hundred year,
To fall at last, dry, bald, and sere:

A lily of a day
Is fairer far in May,
Although it fall and die that night—
It was the plant and flower of Light.
In small proportions we just beauties see;
And in short measures life may perfect be.

acnebride Thu 12-Jan-06 13:16:18

i copied that off another site and I think it is short measure (singular) in the last line. i wd check in a book, obviously.

melrose Thu 12-Jan-06 13:20:30

From the Caron Keating Foundation website, think it was read at Caron's funeral. I think it is beautiful, always makes me cry

Sometimes

Sometimes, when the sun goes down, It seems it will never rise again… but it will!

Sometimes, when you feel alone, It seems your heart will break in two… but it won’t.

And sometimes, it seems it’s hardly worthwhile carrying on…
But it is.

For sometimes, when the sun goes down,
It seems it will never rise again,
But it does

Frank Brown

Marina Thu 12-Jan-06 13:22:39

We had this for our stillborn son's funeral, Thirtysix:

For a Child Born Dead by Elizabeth Jennings

What ceremony can we fit
You into now? If you had come
Out of a warm and noisy room
To this, there'd be an opposite
For us to know you by. We could
Imagine you in lively mood

And then look at the other side,
The mood drawn out of you, the breath
Defeated by the power of death.
But we have never seen you stride
Ambitiously the world we know.
You could not come and yet you go.

But there is nothing now to mar
Your clear refusal of our world.
Not in our memories can we mould
You or distort your character.
Then all our consolation is
That grief can be as pure as this.

The last verse in particular really summed up the desolate way we were feeling.

I am so sorry that India died. Your best friend is lucky to have you to share the grief and the joy of being a mother.
I hope the hospital has put her in touch with SANDS - they can also suggests poems and readings.

We also had Matthew 19:13 onwards, the reading where Jesus welcomes all children.

bundle Thu 12-Jan-06 13:26:06

marina, how on earth do you read something like that without a wobbly voice? (who read it for you?)

Marina Thu 12-Jan-06 13:28:42

My sister read it in her best professional voice for us, but she did wobble very badly bundy
I had a quiet snuffle for India and her parents when typing it out again tbh

bundle Thu 12-Jan-06 13:31:43

of course, I should have known she would have read it. my sil read a passage from Bernard Mcclaverty's Grace Notes about the joy of having a child (at our wedding)- and blubbed - so I can only begin to imagine how it felt for your sister, reading those tender words about Tom.

Marina Thu 12-Jan-06 13:34:24

She had a holiday booked just after he died and was all for cancelling it to stay with us. We insisted she went and they made a lovely low-tide beach sculpture of his name, then photographed it, and the sunset, for his memory box.
Sisters and SILs - we are lucky to have them. And friends too thirtysix.

Thirtysix Thu 12-Jan-06 16:18:55

Thank you all so much for these....I really don't know how I am going to be able to read any of them without breaking down but I know I must.

Thank you again

amyjade Thu 12-Jan-06 16:24:31

A poem for you.


Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.


The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.

- Author Unknown -

amyjade Thu 12-Jan-06 16:25:47

Have a look on Compassioate friends website they have hundreds of poems.

amyjade Thu 12-Jan-06 16:28:18

Sorry ment compassionate.
Hope you find something. xx

From another bereaved mummy, my thoughts are with India's parents at this difficult time.

zephyrcat Thu 12-Jan-06 16:30:35

This is very short but still a lovely sentiment...

'An Angel wrote in the book of life,
My baby's date of birth,
Then whispered as she closed the book,
"Too beautiful for Earth". '

Thirtysix Thu 12-Jan-06 16:42:23

Thye are all so beautiful-I plan to print off this thread so India's Mum and Dad can see how kind you have all been.x

mrsdarcy Fri 13-Jan-06 22:28:10

I'm so sorry for India's parents. A terrible time for them.

ELEGY FOR A STILL-BORN CHILD

Your mother walks light as an empty creel
Unlearning the intimate nudge and pull

Your trussed-up weight of seed-flesh and
bone-curd
Had insisted on. That evicted world

Contracts round its history, its scar.
Doomsday struck when your collapsed
sphere

Extinguished itself in our atmosphere,
Your mother heavy with the lightness in her.

For six months you stayed cartographer
Charting my friend from husband towards
father.

He guessed a globe behind your steady
mound.
Then the pole fell, shooting star, into the
ground.

On lonely journeys I think of it all,
Birth of death, exhumation for burial;

A wreath of small clothes, a memorial
pram
And parents reaching for a phantom limb.

I drive by remote control on this bare road
Under a drizzling sky, a circling rock.

Past mountain fields full to the brim with
cloud.
White waves riding home on a wintry lough.

-- Seamus Heaney

WestCountryLass Mon 16-Jan-06 21:15:57

Do not stand at my grave and weep is such a beautiful and comforting poem.

I am so sorry for the loss of India

C0206 Wed 18-Jan-06 21:59:57

We had Christina Rossetti's poem at my son's funeral 7 months ago - he was also still-born - full term and a horrible shock.
We also chose the Bible blessing "May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon and be gracious unto you. May the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace."

lis1986 Wed 22-Apr-09 21:40:02

Hello i hope this may help, i am 22 and lost my baby at 20 weeks just this week so i have also been looking for poems. Here is one that touched me and related to how i feel most.

Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice if a Snowdrop doesn 't bloom,

Or even pause to wonder if the petals fall too soon,

But every life that ever forms or even comes to be,

Touches the world in some small way for all eternity.

The little one we longed for was swiftly here and gone,

But the love that was then planted is a light that still shines on,

And though our arms are empty our hearts know what to do,

Every beating of our hearts says that we love you.

All my love and best wishes to your friend. . xx

lottiejenkins Wed 22-Apr-09 22:35:35

This is a poem that i read out every year at a babyloss service at our local hospital....
Very sorry for the loss of India.........

GONE TOO SOON.
--------------

This was a life that hardly begun
no time to find your place in the sun
no time to do all you could have done
but we loved you enough for a lifetime

No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
no time to sing the song of yourself
though you had enough love for a lifetime

Those who live long endure sadness and tears
but you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
no betrayel, no anger
no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love in your lifetime..

I was asked by Shabs on the bereaved mums thread to post this.............

shabster Wed 22-Apr-09 23:00:59

So very sorry to hear of the loss of India.

No death so sad as that of a child.

Could I possibly invite your friend, and anyone else who would like to talk, to a very, very special MN thread? It is not always a sad place to be...we chit chat, and smile, and laugh and remember our precious childrenwww.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/711831-Harry-39-s-thread-for-bereaved-mums-Wether-its-a

lottiejenkins Thu 23-Apr-09 08:33:23

Lis1986 have just sen you write of your loss too. My thoughts are with you also.............sad

shabster Thu 23-Apr-09 08:41:03

Lis - I just noticed your sad post as well sad I was in such a rush to get Lottie to put her poem on that I didn't read every post. If you feel it might help you why dont you come and chat on the bereaved mums thread - they are a good bunch of ladies who have all experienced the worse loss anyone can xxx

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear about India and also wanted to give Lis my condolences too. I have also lost my baby due to preeclampsia in 2005.

I wondered if either of you knew of the SANDS forum (www.sandsforum.org)? It brought me a lot of comfort at the time and I still visit there daily over 3 years on. They have a poems section which is very extensive as you can imagine.

I do know of a beautiful song which is available for free on here www.karentaylorgood.com/free_mp3_downloads.html, called 'Precious Child'.

Hoping that helps.

everlong Thu 23-Apr-09 20:33:47

I love the snow drop poem, it's very heart renching but somehow perfect for the loss of a baby, I'm so sorry x

Rosie47 Tue 27-Jul-10 20:57:38

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Quotations When Tomorrow Starts Without Me.

When tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me,
While thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me, I know you miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand.
And said my place was ready, in heaven, far above,
And that I had to leave behind all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
For my life had not long started, and I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for, so much to learn and do,
It seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the times to come, the good one’s and the bad,
I thought of all the love we’d share, it made me feel so sad.
If I could spend just one day, or even a little while,
I’d tell you how I love you, and show you my big smile.
But then I fully realised, that this could never be,
For emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven’s gates, I felt so much at home,
When God looked down and smiled at me, upon his golden throne,
“This is eternity” he said, “and all I’ve promised you,
Today for life on earth is passed, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
And since each day’s the same day, there’s no longing for the past.
My child, you were so special, I had to set you free,
So won’t you take my loving hand, and share my life with me?”

So when tomorrow starts without me Mummy, don’t think we’re far apart,

For every time you think of me, I’m right here, in your heart.

i have this poem posted on my facebook profile, in memory of my son who was stillborn in 1997. its beautiful

samman77 Wed 25-Aug-10 00:57:27

I too lost a daughter to stillbirth only last week Isobel was born at 25 weeks and looks so precious. I have been told by so many people that the pain goes away day by day. But on good friend sent me this message and when i cry i take a moment and look at it and it makes me smile.

i know no words can take away the pain but your little girl will be looked after very well in the spirit world. stay strong.

SHJJTJ Mon 11-Jun-12 14:01:26

I gave birth on 3rd June to my first child, a beautiful boy, who tragically passed away on 5th June. Although he was in special care from birth due to prematurity, no one has any idea what was wrong or why he had such a rapid decline. I am lost. If anyone has been unfortunate enough to experience anything as tragic as this, I would really appreciate hearing from you

chipmonkey Mon 11-Jun-12 14:47:09

SHJJTJ, I am so very sorry for your loss. You are not alone in this. I lost my beautiful girl, Sylvie-Rose to SIDS last October. We had spend 6 weeks in NICU and SCBU and then she died four days after we took her home.
Please join us here on this thread We have all lost children, some in pregnancy, some children and some grown-up children. You are very welcome to join us.

matildawormwood Mon 11-Jun-12 14:52:22

I am so sorry you lost your beautiful boy. I lost my baby boy just over five weeks ago and have recently started posting on the thread that chipmonkey recommends. You will find people who understand there. So sorry xxx

Izzy88 Thu 04-Oct-12 00:06:06

Very sorry to hear everyone's lost, I lost my own baby at
16week kept telling myself why me and all my friends just say it gets better,
But I feel lost and seem like no one understand just looking for some support and maybe some that's been throw same thing sorry to ramble. X

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