I need to express it this year, they killed 53 people on 7/7, not 52

(73 Posts)
HappyDoll Thu 07-Jul-11 12:56:51

I was 22 weeks pg that day. DS1 was 5 and had been born at 26 weeks. I knew I should have been taking it easy but DH was embroiled in a bitter battle for access to DSD and we had hired a top solicitor to help him. He needed to get the train into London to meet her and he needed my support.
I know now that I have an incompetent cervix and I should rest up from 20 weeks. At the time my instincts were telling me to rest.
We got the train to Liverpool Street and were stopped just outside as the first bomb went off. We were so lucky not to have been 10 minutes earlier and been on that tube. My phone was going mad with people checking I was OK.
We got off the train and got on a bus to Kings Cross. We tried to get on a tube and couldn't. So we got on another bus heading to Russell Square. The bus in front of us exploded. The bus driver got off and started screaming at everyone to get off. The was a major scrum. The phones had all gone down.
We got to the solicitors offices in Mayfair on foot. We had our appointment and then DH set about trying to hire a car. The price had shot up to £5k. We searched by phone for a taxi, no hope. We went outside to deserted streets with people crowding around televisions parked in shop doorways. It was surreal. We asked police for help they said there was nothing that could be done. We went to a hotel, they had no room but they had lines of taxis. DH offered a taxi driver £500 to drive us out of London, he said he was earning more sat in that queue - the hotels bought up all the black cabs for their own clients.
We got through to BIL who happened to be working in town that day but we had to walk to Camden to get to him as he couldn't get in.
The next day I was admitted to hospital. My cervix had begun to open, infection had got into my womb and DDs foot was visible through an internal exam. The stress, both physical and emotional and sent me into early labour.
I was in bed in the delivery suite for 2 weeks, getting stitched, unstiched, strapped down and pumped full of drugs. On 22nd July, at 23 weeks + 6 days, my daughter Freya was born. She was not 24 weeks gestation so no attempt was made to save her life.
I have never expressed how much I blame those fucking maniacs for the death of my daughter. What they did to those innocent people on the tubes and the bus was horrific. This is the year that I want it known that Freya's name should also be on that list of needless deaths for which they are responsible.

ggirl Thu 07-Jul-11 13:00:00

oh god you poor thing
yes only right that she is remembered as well

Oh Happydoll, I didn't want to read and run, I don't know what to say other than I am so so sorry for your loss and you have my absolute heartfelt sympathies. Big un-MN hug x

CointreauVersial Thu 07-Jul-11 13:02:43

Oh what a terrible terrible thing to happen. I'll be thinking of you and Freya today. sad

OTheHugeManatee Thu 07-Jul-11 13:05:04

sad

So sorry for your loss.

MissRead Thu 07-Jul-11 13:10:44

I am so sorry to hear that HappyDoll. I miscarried my much longed for second child a few days after DH had narrowly missed being caught up in the 7/7 bombings. Doubt that had anything to do with it in reality but the events are very much linked in my mind. Clearly it had a massive impact on what happened to you though, I am not surprised you feel so bitter and want Freya to be remembered alongside the other victims. These terrible incidents affect so many people in so many ways, it's just heartbreaking.

Honeydragon Thu 07-Jul-11 13:15:31

sad what a brave post, you are right to want your darling Freya remembered.

icouldbeahypochondriac Thu 07-Jul-11 13:19:39

Thinking of you and darling Freya and all others who were affected by this atrocity. xxx

bumpybecky Thu 07-Jul-11 13:20:09

I am so sorry for your loss sad

twofalls Thu 07-Jul-11 13:20:36

So, so sorry for what you have been through. And that you list your baby girl. I can see why you would want her on that list, to be acknowledged and remembered sad

suzikettles Thu 07-Jul-11 13:22:26

Remembering Freya today.

I'm so sorry she's not here for you to hold. It's not fair sad

Doyouthinktheysaurus Thu 07-Jul-11 13:22:52

sad

I am so sorry for your loss HappyDoll. Your post is very moving. I shall remmber your daughter along with all the other victims today.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marrow Thu 07-Jul-11 13:23:53

So sorry to hear what happened to you. Thinking of you and your beautiful Freya today along with all the others who were caught up in the terrible events of July 7th 2005.

Snapespeare Thu 07-Jul-11 13:35:08

so very sorry for your loss.

eastendmummy Thu 07-Jul-11 13:55:41

so very sorry. Your post is incredibly moving. Thinking of you and Freya and all of the others caught up in this horrendous tragedy.

EveryonesJealousOfGingers Thu 07-Jul-11 13:57:36

That's awful, I am so so sorry.

HappyDoll Thu 07-Jul-11 15:46:16

Thank you. It feels good to have said it. It's out there. I'm not bitter about it though, I relish every second that I got with her, every kick and tummy flutter now makes me a stronger person.
There will be many more people irreversably affected by that day I'm sure.
Those bastards should always be remembered as the cowardly murderers they are.

scottishmummy Thu 07-Jul-11 19:30:12

dear god,how v dreadful.what a trauma.sorry you lost freya

EveryonesJealousOfGingers Thu 07-Jul-11 23:13:58

You have said it, and said it so eloquently. You are a lovely mum.

ThisIsANiceCage Thu 07-Jul-11 23:17:19

So very sorry. sad

So sorry - thinking of you and your beautiful Freya xx

lillybloom Fri 08-Jul-11 16:33:46

I will think of Freya every year

ledkr Fri 08-Jul-11 16:39:29

This was a good idea,lots of people will now be aware of your loss as im sure we will tell others,i am truly very very sorry.

TheOriginalFAB Fri 08-Jul-11 16:40:35

Oh love sad.

A friend lost her brother that day.

My dd had had a horrific accident a couple of days before so I didn't care when I saw a bus had blown up as I didn't think it was anything more than an accident. Once I realised I cried all day. My baby was only 3 weeks old.Tough times for lots of people.

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