I know there is an existing thread where lots of lovely people have supported each other through what is a horrid time, but as I come up to the 2nd Christmas without my dear old Dad and SM, I would like to somehow move on and I suppose help others through this as well as helping myself.
(hope that doesn't sound crap)
so a bit of background
My mum died when I was 18 after years of ill health.
so I got a SM.
we weren't close close but got on well.
she became ill and died a 1 1/2 years ago, then my darling Dad got ill.
he died 6 months(or there abouts later)
I miss him every day.
and thank the lovely Mumsnetters who have helped me through this.
but i can't post on the old thread,
it takes me right back there, so I am hopig a new thread, will get us all talking and allow new posters to join in.........
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Bereavement
anyone is grieving for a parent
2shoes · 20/11/2010 23:40
My Dad died when I was 15, we weren't really close, but it hit me hard. When I was 24 and had just had my ds2 my Mum became ill. Within 3 weeks of her going downhill she died. My baby was 3 months old and I was already suffering from pnd.
This hit me harder than anything before. I had to leave my kids and go to my Mum, I held her as she died and it was horrific. 3 Years later and I still don't think I have really come to terms with it. My Mum was the only person in the world who really seemed to listen to me and have my best interests at heart. We used to call each other several times a week and she was the first person I would tell news, good or bad 
.
I have been in a bit of a spin since I think, I don't have any friends, just my dp and my distant family. I feel utterly alone in the world, which I am really, the only person I can rely on is myself.
Sorry about your dad and sm 2shoes, I'm not sure if i belong on your thread, but I have vented anyway 
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Thanks for starting this 2shoes
I'm mumoverseas and I lost my dad just over 6 years ago and my mum in May last year. Mum's death for some reason was 100 times worse than dads, maybe because she was my last surviving parent or that we were closer?
Anyway, it knocked me for six and made me feel very guilty. I've been living abroad for 5 years now and DC4 was born abroad in February last year. It tooka while to get his birth certificate and passport and I talked briefly about returning home around April time but mum talked me out of it (as did DH) and said she would see me in the summer (when I'd planned to return to the UK for 12 weeks) and she would meet her new grandson then.
Mum died 2 weeks before I was due to return, totally unexpectedly.
The last time I saw her was December 2008 when I was in the UK and she stayed with me for a few days. She left on Boxing day, my birthday, and that was the last time I ever saw her. I dread Christmas and my birthdays now, it just doesn't feel right. Last Christmas was awful and I'm hoping for the sake of my DC that this year will be a little better.
Like the rest of you, I'm still struggling and send hugs to you all xxx
5th Xmas without my Dad
It's bloody awful, the children are growing up with no real memories of him, just pictures (they were 2 and 4)
We talk of him, a lot, but it's not the same
Love to you all x x x
This is my first Xmas without Dad who died in June from prostate cancer.
DS came into my room this morning saying he missed his Grandpops and his Daddy (abusive asshole). The family feels so much smaller these days . My dad was a great Grandpops to the DC's and they've lost that now.
I hardly had chance to grieve for him as I was rushing around after the dc's (4yo and 2yo) and started a new job the day after his funeral.
I do wonder if it will hit me on Xmas day when I finally get chance to stop for a few days 
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My darling Ma died in may 2009. She had been fighting heart failure for a long time but her death (accelerated by a hospital-caused infection) was horrendous: she eventually collapsed and died in my arms. I haven't told any of my family the details of her last night as it is too painful and undignified to recount. I will never regret being there, but I feel such shame and guilt that I wasn't more comforting or that I was so afraid of the vomiting etc (we were on our own all night in her room in a nursing home as the nurses didn't expect her to to die ) and I miss her every single day that passes. I always believed that life goes on and mow I feel that it is sniffed out. I cannot feel anything and I am certain that if there were an afterlife she would comfort me somehow . Mummy I love and miss you so much....
thank you lilo . We are going to a 'service' at the hospice next month when they switch all the xmas lights on. It might be comforting to be with all the other families who have lost someone this year. My stepmum is cracking on with organising Xmas, it should be ok.
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