I lost my baby after an amnio

(23 Posts)
Jenny1973 Wed 14-Sep-05 22:52:18

This site is new to me but after reading some of the stories last night I felt I had to add my story. Its been nearly 8 yrs since I lost my baby, & like others it feels like yesterday.
During my 1st pregnancy with my boy my screen blood test showed high risk for d/s, at 17 wks I ad an amnio.Everything went ok, the results came back normal etc. I went on to have to have a healthy boy. I got caught p/g very quickly, which meant there would be a yr between thier births. Again my screening test showed high risk for d/s. I was advised by my m/w to have another amnio as the 1st was ok. At 18 wks an amnio was tried, but they couldn't get any fluid . The Dr became ill looking & had to sit down.She said the procedure would have to be carried out in a wks time.I was not advised of the greater risk that 2 amnios would give.So a wk later @19 wks p/g a further amnio was carried out,they got fluid this time,but I was in alot af pain,aswell as the Dr not scanning the procedure at the same time. When the Dr finished,he scanned again but couldnt see a heart beat,this carried on for what seemed like hours.He said I'd have to go down to have an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed that my baby had died.I screamed the place down.When I got back to the room where the amnio was carried out,the Dr that did it said"well the baby only had a faint heart beat anyway" So I said well you had no right to do the amnio, with it being a risk in itself.
I went home, then had to return to the hospital knowing I would have to give birth. I was given a pessary to induce labour. The labour lastd longer than my 1st. The whole procedure was degrading,as I had so many m/w's trying to break my waters.I was unconsolable,so they gave me morphine.15 hrs after returning to hospital I gave birth to my dd.I looked at her & had a photo of her.But her eye was bulging & her head was caved in on 1 side.I was convinced they had killed my baby. So I insisted on a p/m. I chose to have a funeral also (xmas eve)of all days! In the mean time the p/m showed that dd had got anenchephily(sp/bif of the brain)but the amnio results showed that everything was normal!!!
That was when I went to a solicitor & took the matter further. But I had to have a 2nd p/m done, so I couldnt actually have the funeral until 3 mnths later.
To cut a long story short I went through 3 years of hell.Good news/Bad news! In the end I took it to the courts to have a barristers opinion,for him to say that I didnt have a case,against the nhs, & if I wanted to pursue it-it would cost me alot on money.I was devastated. Even though after the 2nd p/m some of her body parts showed no form of anenchephily. I went to Library & read up on it also,apparently it should of shown up on my 12 wk scan-but it didn't.
So to this day,I'm none the wiser.
Has anybody else been through a simular experience,or heard of anenchephily(even though I might have spelt it wrong).I would love to hear from you.

Miaou Wed 14-Sep-05 23:07:21

Welcome to mumsnet, Jenny .

No experience or advice, but didn't want to see this thread slip away without having acknowledged it. So sad for the experience you have been through .

Gobbledigook Wed 14-Sep-05 23:15:15

Jenny, no experience either but wanted to acknowledge that I'd read your story and my heart really goes out to you. I'm so, so sorry.

KateF Wed 14-Sep-05 23:16:06

Hello Jenny. So sorry to hear of your sad experience.
Anencephaly is a congenital condition in which part of the brain and skull are missing or very underdeveloped. It is,sadly, incompatible with life although a pregnancy can go to term.
If you type anencephaly into Google you should find some support groups listed.
Hope this helps.

Jenny1973 Wed 14-Sep-05 23:19:54

Thanks for the reply miaou,didnt expect one so quickly. Cant believe how many other experiences people have had,wish I had access to the net when I went through it all,as I was just at a loss. But you get through it,even though at the time you think you cant. It has helped sharing this though,as not alot of people I know have been through it & its hard for them to imagine & they feel helpless too.

Jenny1973 Wed 14-Sep-05 23:24:34

thanks Katef too,wow you lot r great. I shall go on google now. Thankyou for everyones response. x

Blu Wed 14-Sep-05 23:41:21

Jenny, how dreadfully sad.
Glad you have found MN though - so welcome. I hope you can find some help here.

Jenny1973 Wed 14-Sep-05 23:55:39

oh dear-Ive been on the anencephaly site,Ive broke my heart, I read other peoples stories,most of them were detected by scans! Cant believe how fresh it still feels.

KateF Thu 15-Sep-05 13:26:05

Have you talked about it much before Jenny? Maybe you still need to work through a lot of feelings. You are never going to "get over it" my love but with help I think you can learn to move on from it. Your baby will always be a precious memory.

spacecadet Thu 15-Sep-05 13:31:33

jenny have you ever had any advice from SANDS?
what a horrific and harrowing experience for you, its sounds like you are finding it so difficult to come to terms with because you dont really know whether or not your baby had abnormalities or not, i cant begin to understand how you feel, i have lost babies, but not in your circumstances. SANDS, may well ne able to offer to advice, also ARC, ante-natal rights and choices.

Thomcat Thu 15-Sep-05 13:40:23

Hi Jenny and welcome to mumsnet.
What a terribly sad story but thank you for sharing it. I'm afraid i can't really add anything else in terms of similar experiences but just wanted to say how sorry I am.

Lizzylou Thu 15-Sep-05 13:44:14

Jenny, I am so sorry for your loss and for the harrowing experience you faced, I hope you find some support and peace of mind xxx

biglips Thu 15-Sep-05 13:44:55

hi jenny

welcome and im so shocked reading your story.. im so sorry about what had happened and ive got no experience but hope someone will!

biglips Thu 15-Sep-05 13:45:20

hope someone will able to share it with you X

Kidstrack2 Thu 15-Sep-05 13:55:57

My heart goes out to you Jenny what a heart rending time you have had. I hope you get some information. x

Angeliz Thu 15-Sep-05 13:59:47

Hello Jenny and welcome to mumsnet
I have no advice either i'm afraid but wanted to say how sad your story made me feel.
I hope you get some answers soon so you can at least get your head around what actually did or didn't happen.
+

Jenny1973 Thu 15-Sep-05 23:12:31

Thanx to all who have replyed, you all sound so sympathetic & thats lovely.
KateF-yes I have talked about it,but not alot. At the time it happened my ex partner was not very supportive at all, infact he left me 3 wks later,which devastated me.Also my own mum stopped talking to me the same week as I lost the baby,due to family issues. So I think with everything that I went through at that time, I feel very bitter for having no support. I am now happily married to my dh,weve been together 6 yrs & we have a 2.5 dd, which has helped alot. my dh is great about it, he helps with the grave etc.which is nice as it wasnt even his child. Ive never told my mum how I truely feel about her not being there when I needed her more than ever, but I dont feel ready to tell her either.

honeybee6109 Wed 30-Mar-16 10:12:14

My friend just had an aminantisis today 5 mind before her bby was fine rite after the amino her bby was dead this is a chance tat can happen but they dnt tell u this so my friend just lost her bby due to a slip of the needle and her bby drowned on his own fluid due to this they did not save him she is at hospital now wit her now still born bby due to the amino I wld not recommend this test to any lady/woman u mite lose ur bby my friend was 8 and a half months pregnant God b with her in this time but u ladies out there it's not worth the risks just b happy God gave u a bby no matter how he/she is born as long as u want it and it Wil b loved plz I beg u dnt get an amino

OTheHugeManatee Wed 30-Mar-16 10:20:55

I'm so sorry for your loss and the horrific experiences you had.

If the baby had anencephaly then it wasn't the amnio that caused the death. That doesn't do anything though to lessen your awful pain and loss or the very distressing experiences you had.

Have you looked at bereavement counselling? Nothing can ever bring your baby back but sometimes it can help to talk through the loss and the trauma, especially as it sounds like for you there were other important relationships (your partner and mum) that ran into difficulties at the same time. You must have felt very alone struggling with your loss flowers

If you have a google you may find there are charities in your area that can offer counselling with someone experienced in helping people who have experienced difficult bereavement.

honeybee6109 Wed 30-Mar-16 12:17:53

Ty I personally wld have lost my mind and no the bby was perfectly healthy no any kind of health or genie issues were found in the bby but ty if it was me I really wldve lost it and been in the mental ward for a while but it still hurt like it was my very own bby ty for the advice I'll let my friend no and I'm Def here 4 her she's been through so much and for this to have happened is just unbelievable but God got this.again ty

GreyAndGoldInTheMeadow Wed 30-Mar-16 12:27:51

This is a very old thread Honeybee you might have more success starting your own thread.flowers

OTheHugeManatee Wed 30-Mar-16 13:19:28

Oh blimey, hadn't noticed it was a zombie thread confused

TurnOffTheTv Wed 30-Mar-16 13:29:11

This thread is 10 years old Honeybee. Why did your friend get amnio at 8.5 months?

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