Children making noise in the countryside

(59 Posts)
Frontier Sun 17-Aug-14 17:14:36

We're just back from a weekend in a beautiful park of the country. Four of us plus a friend and her young family. Her Dc are younger than mine, 6 & 8 and I really have no idea if I can't remember how it was to have young DC or if she is mad!! It wasn't that long ago, DS2 is only 11.

Her eldest is LOUD. Doesn't appear to have ever learned about indoor/outdoor voices or to have any sort of volume control whatsoever. My DS1 at the same age was (I thought) very loud too but I really don't remember this and I did make some attempt to have him moderate it when lots of noise was inappropriate.

Anyway there were two "moments" during the weekend. One was when I reminded him of The Countryside Code one part of which is to "make no unnecessary noise". This was when we were at a particularly busy but peaceful beauty spot and he was shouting his part in a conversation with my DS1 who was right next to him. I just reminded him that people liked to come to this place for the peace and quiet and that he should quieten down. My friend thought I was very unreasonable - children are supposed to make noise outdoors. I do get that but isn't there still a time and a place and her son in 8, not tiny?

Next one I'm sure I'm not wrong about grin We were discussing plans for dinner and one restaurant was mentioned. Our family had been there a few weeks previously and were the only customers who weren't an older couple. My DC are old enough to have just abut managed to behave appropriately but the restaurant was silent and even normal talking seemed too loud. I told friend this and suggested it might not be the best place for our large party. Oh, she said, " sometimes older people like to hear children's noise in restaurants". Maybe they sometimes do but it is really Ok to inflict it one them without checking first?! The restaurant we did choose was much more lively and we were fine but we were still by far the loudest there, again with no attempt to regulate the noise.

I thought DH was going to explode the 3rd time in half an hour he reminded the boy we were staying in a flat with neighbours on all sides...

My children were/are by no means silent or perfect but I found it really uncomfortable to be part of a party where no attempt at consideration was made.

So, is it me, or her?

ROARmeow Sun 17-Aug-14 19:40:03

I think it's you, sorry.

Was your friend's child running riot, or just speaking loudly?

odyssey2001 Sun 17-Aug-14 19:46:21

I get really irritated by loud children. I think you were right to intervene and make alternative suggestion about dinner. But my DS is very well behaved when we are out (noise wise) so I have high expectations.

GobblersKnob Sun 17-Aug-14 19:49:38

I don't think ywbu, and that's as a parent of a very loud child, I constantly remind him though.....

fieldfare Sun 17-Aug-14 19:52:59

I don't think yanbu either.
Some children just don't seem able to regulate their voices, not helped by parents that don't give a monkey's.

Letthemtalk Sun 17-Aug-14 19:59:44

Yanbu about the restaurant, but one of the joys of being in the country is being able to make as much noise as you want (as long as you're not upsetting cows!)

JassyRadlett Sun 17-Aug-14 20:04:24

It's her. Kids can and should be taught to moderate their voices appropriately for the situation. They won't always get it right, but that's where parenting kicks in.

bamboostalks Sun 17-Aug-14 20:04:32

The Countryside Code? You sound a bit much with that comment tbh.

JassyRadlett Sun 17-Aug-14 20:07:43

Letthemtalk, what about people who are trying to find peaceful enjoyment of the same countryside?

I think it's a balance (and goodness knows my kid isn't the quietest) but I think the Countryside Code has it right. To me, it's more acceptable to make lots of noise in a city park than in an empty (or near-empty) field.

DoItTooJulia Sun 17-Aug-14 20:08:03

Ah, come on. The kids were on a day out, excited no doubt.

Restaurant, I do understand more. But you're coming across as uptight, and I mean that kindly, maybe there's a middle ground where you relax a bit more about it and just say something like "hey kids, take it down a notch!"

5madthings Sun 17-Aug-14 20:08:04

In a restaurant and in the flat then yes children should be reminded to keep voices down.

Outside in the countryside, erm isn't that the joy of the outdoors that kids can be noisy?

The countryside code... Seriously?!!

Bunbaker Sun 17-Aug-14 20:11:55

"I think it's you, sorry."

I don't. I hate it when children are too noisy when it is inappropriate.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sun 17-Aug-14 20:15:34

The countryside is a great place to make noise when there is no-one around. Im not sure a busy beauty spot is the place for childish exuberance.

OP you were in the right, as another poster said children need to learn to adjust behaviour to the environment they are in.

notnowbernard Sun 17-Aug-14 20:22:39

I can appreciate both sides

I have had a really loud child, and currently have 2 quite loud (but just about within the parameters of acceptably-loud-for-dc) children

At times I've found it REALLY hard, coping with the noise. My really loud one seemed to have no volume control whatsoever between age 2-5. Better now at 7. Lots of people (known and strangers) would comment on it. Including neighbours shock
I find my tolerance to it really depends on my mood at the time. I can be quite lassiez- faire ( sp?) sometimes, at others I feel like boiling my own head

Siennasun Sun 17-Aug-14 20:24:14

There is no need for children (or anyone) to be quiet on the country side. I'm with your friend on that.
You are probably right that it would have been inappropriate to take them to that silent restaurant but am perplexed as to why anyone would think silence in a restaurant is desirable.
You sound a bit like you think children should be seen and not heard so maybe holidays with this family are not for you?

Frontier Sun 17-Aug-14 20:41:41

The countryside code is a real thing - i didn't invent it! Per the link in my op. It seems like commonsense to me.

MrsCakesPrecognition Sun 17-Aug-14 20:59:49

The countryside code bit about noise isn't about not disturbing people in beauty spots, it is about not frightening farm animals. So don't rev your car, let off fireworks, scream and yell etc. I don't think an 8yo talking (loudly) is really the sort of thing it is aimed at.

NinjaLeprechaun Sun 17-Aug-14 21:02:15

Dear God, somebody had better warn the cows to be quiet.

Shrieking while standing next to a horse is a bad idea, but while running around in a big empty space - that's what big empty spaces are for, surely.
One of the many definite benefits of raising kids in the country, in my opinion.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 17-Aug-14 21:07:46

I can see both sides.
Children are noisy by default so if you say this one was shouting rather than talking then YWNBU.
The countryside isn't quiet though, at times its noisier than the city or town.
The mum sounds a bit inconsiderate after you had told her about the quiet restaurant she shouldn't presume everybody likes loud children.

OwnerOfAnInsanePuppy Sun 17-Aug-14 21:17:02

I have a child with ADHD. We remind remind remind him, but he is continuously loud. We live the country side as he can run around and not disturb the neighbours! But we do try not to go near animals!

Restaurants yanbu and it is one if the reasons we can't eat out.

JassyRadlett Sun 17-Aug-14 21:21:31

OP, unfortunately being considerate to others is out of fashion.

I find it quite depressing.

And I grew up in the middle of bloody nowhere.

Siennasun Sun 17-Aug-14 21:55:45

I find it depressing that people consider a little child being happy, excited and shock talking to his friend to be "unnecessary noise".

JassyRadlett Sun 17-Aug-14 22:44:12

Yes, god forbid a parent encourage a child to moderate their volume out of consideration for people nearby. What a horrible idea. I must tell my mother how she raised me wrong, and how I'm not grateful for it at all.

NinjaLeprechaun Mon 18-Aug-14 03:42:44

Yes, god forbid a parent encourage a child to moderate their volume out of consideration for people nearby.
This would be more of an issue in a town or city, where there are always lots of people nearby, than in the country, surely?

unrealhousewife Mon 18-Aug-14 03:57:48

The child might have poor hearing or breathing problems.

I used to moan about my friends child who never wanted to walk anywhere, it turned out she had a heart defect.

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