How to potty train when you work full time??

(31 Posts)
PP2291 Tue 15-Oct-13 11:04:30

My DS is 2 and I think seems ready for potty training. He wants to sit on the potty when I go to the loo and is very aware of what he is doing and sometimes tells me when he does a wee or poo in his nappy. I started potty training a few months ago trying to be quite casual about it and gently introduce. But then we moved house, changed childminder etc and I was worried about things being too much for him. I am a bit worried I have done more harm than good here. When he is without a nappy he never has accidents (I often let him be naked at home) but also doesn't go to the potty or tell me he needs a wee or poo etc. He will just wait til he has a nappy on again. So in this way I know he has got bowel control but am worried I have gotten him into a terrible habit now.

Should I take some time off work to try and nail this? I know I will need my childminders help on this but feel I should lead the way?

I would really appreciate any tips at all.

Thanks so much!

I don't think he does sound ready, to be honest. Nearly ready, but not ready - maybe in the New Year.

Talk to your childminder, as she will be able to lead the way. Whatever you go for needs to be completely consistent, so if she's doing five days it might be more sensible for her to choose which method/system.

She will also have a clearer idea of how ready he is.

Good luck - it will be fine in the end.

HerrenaHarridan Tue 15-Oct-13 11:19:25

Sounds perfectly ready to me.

There is so many theories about this I think you need to discuss with childminder and come to an agreement that suits you both. It doesn't have to be identical just not conflicting.

If he's waiting till you put a nappy on then I would suggest not putting a nappy on but sitting him on the potty with plenty of distractions and reward when he eventually goes.

I have promised dd that as soon as we have a week of dry nappies she can have big girl pants.

Have you thought about trying training pants? The psychological feeling of not wearing nappies with extra absorbency

PP2291 Tue 15-Oct-13 11:19:55

Thanks. What are some further signs that they are ready? I have heard that being able to dress themselves is one? DS can take clothes off but not put them on again!

I've waited until they ask, rather than choosing to train them per se. Expressing discomfort or dissatisfaction with a wet/dirty nappy is a good sign. They need to prefer to use a potty/loo rather than a nappy. OP's DS is not there yet.

PP2291 Tue 15-Oct-13 13:33:23

How does one get them to prefer the potty or loo though? Surely it needs to be introduced in some way so that they know it is an option? He does get very bothered by having a poo in his nappy.

Have heard mixed things about training pants (as in pull ups?) but think they are probably worth trying. My DS doesn't really getting the pulling the pants down thing. He prefers to take his trousers off completely.

Also should I bother with an expensive potty? I have a super cheap one from Boots but it seems very awkward. Very difficult to sit on, my DS comes at it from behind.

It's a stage they just reach, tbh. What kind of nappies are you using? It's worth going down a brand so he feels the wet.

Oh and 50p off the market is ideal for a potty. You need one on each floor and one in the car, etc.

The expensive ones tend to be harder to clean. Not an advantage! shock

HerrenaHarridan Tue 15-Oct-13 14:34:34

No not pull ups. Wait ill find a link

HerrenaHarridan Tue 15-Oct-13 14:39:59

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/s/ref=sr_rd_mob?rh=i:baby,n:60248031&ie=UTF8

I haven't shopped around so doubt that is the best deal.

However I know several parents who've used them and their kids loved the grown up feeling if wearing pants and their parents loved the accidents not coming straight out.

Kids have an association with nappies.

Without meaning to sound disparaging more and more kids are stating school in pull-ups etc because of this waiting for readiness.

He is conscious of it and can choose to hold it, I would go for it.

CecilyP Tue 15-Oct-13 16:28:12

It must be difficult with working full time, apart from everything else going on, and I agree that you need to get the childminder on board whatever you decide to do. When you say your DS is 2, do you mean 24 months or 35 months (or anything between) because it does make a difference in terms of readiness. When you say your DS holds it, do you mean he doesn't wee when he is naked? In which case, how long can he go without having a wee?

Whatever the answer, I don't think you need an expensive potty, just something that is reasonably stable. Also, they don't need to be able to dress themselves before being able to use the potty, and and it doesn't matter in the least if he takes his trousers off as well as his pants.

fififrog Tue 15-Oct-13 20:56:05

Pull ups are pretty awful. We tried them a bit at the beginning but they clearly feel like nappies but didn't seem to fit so well and tended to leak, especially over night...

mycatlikestwiglets Tue 15-Oct-13 22:29:46

If your DS is ready you should be able to make plenty of progress over a weekend so in your position I would start on a Saturday morning and aim to hand over to your childminder on the Monday if the first two days have gone well. IMO you need to go cold turkey and ditch the daytime nappies altogether - if your DS goes when wearing pants and is uncomfortable in wet/soiled pants he's more likely to start using the potty voluntarily. Be prepared for at least the first day to be full of accidents though while he gets the hang of things.

Definitely no need for an expensive potty but with hindsight I'd have gone for one with a decent shield at the front as DS sometimes misses by accident with ours. I also don't think he needs to be able to dress/undress himself - DS trained at 2.5 and couldn't do that, it's never been an issue.

MerylStrop Tue 15-Oct-13 22:37:31

None of mine would ever use a potty, all straight to loo, with one of those little padded seat things at first.

In all honesty, I would let your childminder lead on it, and take into account their thoughts about his readiness. They will be the one who has to deal with most of the accidents.

legallyblond Thu 17-Oct-13 03:07:14

No particular advice re the potty training, but I also work full time and took ten days off work to crack it with DD before handing over to the cm. So my main "holiday" last year was a potty training holiday at home grin !!!!

fuckwittery Thu 17-Oct-13 03:42:55

I did it at xmas with dd2 and easter with dd1. You need a stretch at home.

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 17-Oct-13 03:56:31

I work full time too and took a week off with both DS and DD to "crack" potty training. You do need to do pretty much nothing else and prepare for lots of accidents.

I skipped straight to proper pants, only using pull ups for things like a trip to the supermarket. I think being able to feel the wet and learning to associate the feeling of needing to go with that outcome is key to getting them able to say in advance that they need to go.

Your DS sounds like he is probably ready. I think the conversation to have with your childminder is how reliably dry he needs to be before he goes back to her and whether she can cope with accidents or will insist on pull ups.

PP2291 Fri 18-Oct-13 08:46:06

Thanks so much for all the advice here. Spoke to my CM who seemed happy to help from the get go. She suggested training pants as well. She suggested I get it going properly this weekend (starting today as have taken day off) and then she'll take over on Monday. Do you think it's unreasonable to get her to do s much of it?

Also how shall I start? Shall I have the potty in the living room so easy access and always in view or is it best to keep it to the bathroom so there is a clear delineation?

mycatlikestwiglets Fri 18-Oct-13 17:20:53

I had a long weekend to start DS before sending him to nursery - the hard work was done in the first three days so I really wouldn't worry, especially if your CM is supportive. At first there is very little warning of the need to use the potty so I would keep it as close as possible. You can work on delineation once your DS has got the hang of things and can hold it in for longer!

matana Sat 19-Oct-13 08:22:21

I am taking a day off either side of the weekend as I have very little holiday left. But ds is nearly 3.

PP2291 Sat 19-Oct-13 10:53:29

Oh god it is going so badly today. He totally has bladder control down but just isn't getting that he should do it in the potty/doesn't want to. But it means he is desperate for the loo but won't go. Finally going on the floor but being upset about it.

He usually helps me clean up when he spills a drink etc. is it a good idea to have him help clean up accidents or is that sort of twisted and unpleasant for him?

Am so stressed and confused!

SoThisisMe Sat 19-Oct-13 11:13:57

Bribery worked wonders with both of my dc. Chocolate buttons or smarties, anything small.

Dd soon got such good bladder control she would do half a wee at a time to get more rewards grin.

mycatlikestwiglets Sat 19-Oct-13 13:48:15

Stickers worked as a reward for my DS. It's still early days, try not to get stressed - he'll get there! Just make sure you use lots of praise when he does get it right and try not to make a big deal out of it when he doesn't.

WidowWadman Sat 19-Oct-13 13:54:01

I work full time and potty training was done together with nursery - sent the kids in with plenty of changes of clothes and soon enough it worked. Don't think there would have been a need to take time off to do it.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Sat 19-Oct-13 13:54:52

i did both of mine over a week of annual leave - you get both weekends as well, so it's 11 days. You'll know after 11 days if he's ready to continue, or if you need to go back to nappies and have another go later.

lots of bribes is essential. i honestly don't know how you potty train without sweets.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Sat 19-Oct-13 13:55:14

9 days, even
<frazzled>

legallyblond Sat 19-Oct-13 21:04:02

Tbh, I would think you need up take the week off rather than use the CM or nursery... I found that 100% consistency is needed plus I simply cannot imagine doing it with lots going on and lots of other DCs to look after. Also, I did lots of letting DD come with me to the loo and made a big deal if "look at where I do wees etc.... Then she'd have a turn - def not one for the CM!! DD was potty trained at just after 2 yo and was v distractable.... she needed constant asking and "having a go" and especially during engaging activities. If asked, she would say no if there was something more appealing going on. One on one the appealing activity can be stopped then resumed once a potty attempt has been made. I never used sweeties etc, just lots and LOTS of praise plus stickers. I ignored accidents but did ask if she had felt the wee coming. I didn't involve her in cleaning it up. Also, lots of people I know went straight to loo - I would rope your DP in with lots of joint loo trips!! I found that this way took less than a week to crack then another week if occasional accidents...

WidowWadman Sat 19-Oct-13 22:59:06

what if it's not cracked within that week of annual leave?, Legally -children need consistency, true, and therefore nursery/CM and parents have to be consistent in how to do it, but I don't think taking a week off and thinking that'll sort it works.

Mandy21 Sun 20-Oct-13 00:10:00

I think in most cases, a week plus the weekends either side should be enough - of course there might be accidents after that but you'd have almost got there. Agree that the CM has to be involved in the decision and follow through but on the basis the CM has other children to look after / maybe has to do school runs etc, seems better (imo) for parent to do it if possibke.

Found that letting them choose big girl knickers / boy pants the day before helped, sticker reward chart, tons of praise. Potty upstairs + potty downstairs. Don't leave the house for a few days, just leave them naked from the waste down. Didnt use pullups / trainer pants - too much like a nappy in my view.

Good luck!

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 20-Oct-13 08:18:27

Mandy, exactly! I think the key thing is doing nothing else for about 3-4 days.

How is it going now OP? if the potty isn't working, you can go straight to the toilet. Both of mine preferred it, using a potty for out and about only after a couple of days

mycatlikestwiglets Sun 20-Oct-13 13:32:01

I had 3 days off to crack it with DS before sending him to nursery and that was enough for us. Mind you, his nursery were supportive and well used to dealing with potty training toddlers so they just carried on the good work we'd started. We were able to leave the house by day 3 but made sure we went to places with decent toilets!

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