Poor DS has been 'challenging' today

(49 Posts)
PseudoBadger Sat 31-Aug-13 19:20:29

DS is 2 years 7 months. I am 34 weeks pregnant.

He has always been very clingy and would follow me around, getting upset if I went to the loo etc.
We've never had any behaviour issues that haven't been overcome with me being consistent and calm, which I've always found easy. He's generally pretty compliant.

Today he has hit a new low. It's been a real love-hate relationship today. He has hit me in the face a couple of times (once more accidentally but whilst holding something, once on purpose and got me in the eye). He's clambering all over my ample bump which isn't a problem as long as he stops when I ask, but he hasn't stopped today.
He's kicking me if I change him or get him dressed, normally I battle on through and we move on but I'm just worn out today.
Despite appearing to hate me he's screaming blue murder if I leave him.

He has been out of the house 3 times today, and been in the garden when we're at home. He's had a nap. It's like a monster has come from nowhere! And I'm almost at the end of my tether pregnancy wise size of a whale and am not sleeping well. My patience is running thin and I really don't need him to do this right now.

Can anyone help? <pleads>

JellyCurls Sat 31-Aug-13 19:54:07

Wonder if its an age thing my 2 yr 7 month is the same just now. Also we have a baby due in 4 weeks so maybe that's unsettling them. Hoping a super nanny experienced mum can come along and advise us x

PseudoBadger Sat 31-Aug-13 20:18:47

Thank you Jelly, sounds like it's an age thing maybe! It's been such a quick escalation into nightmare it took me by surprise!
I am dreading being post c-section sad

Ds did all of this at the same age he also is normally a content wee child. I stood firm with the hitting and gave him a stern row for it so he understood but everything else I found best tot let it slide, I also let him go to bed when he pleased but that it was on the condition he read/watched/played something in his room or in the lounge but he was not noisy or teary. He in the end went to bed with some cosy milk on his own. It is frustrating as long as you just focus on the important battles it will be easier to get through flowers

PseudoBadger Sat 31-Aug-13 22:46:24

Thank you falcon!

Ledkr Sat 31-Aug-13 22:54:57

I started a thread about my same age dd.
I felt mentally ill today with her behaviour.
She won't play alone and has to have my undivided attention constantly, only happy out of the house, gets undressed all the time, won't sit in car seat or walk nicely with me when out.
I'm glad it's the age.
I'm also glad I'm not pregnant as well grin

ElBombero Sat 31-Aug-13 23:01:16

Oh dear! I've had a very similar day with 2.6 DD today, for the first time ever she made me cry
hmm (also pg 39wks) she was being so so naughty all day, made her pasta for tea which she asked for, served it and she flipped it off the table n shouted "no!! I want beans!" Keeping calm at that time is just so so hard. I told her it was naughty / only reason i made it was because she asked etc... Put ruined tea in bin warmed her up half of tin of beans that was sat in fridge, gave her the beans to which her answer was "NO Pasta!" Told her the pasta was in the bin cos she had thrown it to which she then cried / shouted / screamed and eventually properly sobbed ppppppaaassssta. So I just put her in the bath and cried. Really hard day...

Ledkr Sat 31-Aug-13 23:08:20

What's the matter with you all having more?!
Ha ha she's my 5th btw.
I cried too at the dinner table and screamed as she undressed and took her hair out just as we left for a party 25 mins after it started.
I cried harder when I opened some fizzy water and it sprayed all over me as if it had been shaken for hours.

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 02:52:24

Thanks Ledkr I saw your thread. DS has also refused to hold my hand on the pavement this week so we've either been returning to the car or house as quickly as I can waddle holding him!
And El I usually get a perverse enjoyment out of following through when DS has said he didn't want something at dinner. But agree that emotions are just too readily activated right now and yes we've both ended up sobbing sad
There was an incident today with playdough being used as a football and the the bin. Cue much sobbing of "myyyyyyh blueeeeeeeee playyyyyyyyyu doughhhhhhhhhhh" grin

Bearandcub Sun 01-Sep-13 03:59:58

They come through it, promise.

DS1 was horrific - but he has calmed down/ grown up into a back-chatting threenager who loves rude words, his willy, homemade weapons and his brother.

Not really selling it am I?

VortexOfDisaster Sun 01-Sep-13 04:08:30

Welcome to terrible twos/ threes!

This too will pass! (but alas not just yet... wink)

icepole Sun 01-Sep-13 05:04:23

45 minutes of refusing to get in her car seat here. Was awful.

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 07:06:29

Oh god Bear I thought you said 'teenager' and i'd have this for 10 more years!

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 07:36:03

Yes but I've done 3 teens and am on a tween ATM
I'd rather them than dd at the moment.
Dreading the day here. Dh at work and dd1 off to her dads.
Just me and dd2 ALL DAY <twitches>

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 07:40:59

Good luck! DP had plans to bugger off out to watch the football this afternoon. I've persuaded him to watch it here and have a couple of his friends over so DS can run them ragged and we'll have a BBQ; DS can be Fireman Sam and warn us all of the FIRE!

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 07:45:17

<sobs> I want to watch the football, back in the day I'd have been in the pub with my friends now I'm here dreading my day sad

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 07:53:36

I don't want to watch it! I just didn't want to be alone with the monster grin

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 07:54:08

I'm sorry you're dreading it. Have you got anything planned?

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 07:57:24

Not really. It's hard on a Sunday everyone's busy.
Hoping weather is nice so we can go swimming. I can see a friend maybe.
I'm going into hospital tomorrow for minor op. in overnight then dh off for a week.
Is it mad that I'm looking forward to the break shock

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 08:03:42

Not mad at all - I'm looking forward to a few hours before my elcs in a similar way grin

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 09:02:19

Ha ha
Yes I had a section and dh and I read the papers before walking down to theatre. Very civilised.
Weather nice so swimming it will be.
She loves it and is generally happy there.

FamilyNapPlease Sun 01-Sep-13 09:41:53

I am fully behind doing whatever gets you through hard days. Wine at lunch time, movie on after breakfast, pyjamas all day if that's easier, crackers for lunch.... I just think some days are harder than others and if the wheels are falling off we need permission to bend with the wind and cut some corners if they help get us through! Of course daily application of this theory week in week out not ideal smile

FamilyNapPlease Sun 01-Sep-13 09:43:18

Oops wine not greatest suggestion at 34 weeks preggie sorry op! Lovely juice? Strong cup of tea?

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 10:35:10

We just went for a dog walk (DS rides his bike) and I had a bit of a break down and sob, because DS wanted to go towards the busy car park rather than the nice green field. One of the dogs got really worried by my tears and DS said "no cry mummy" and we had a cuddle. He can be lovely!
Hope your day goes ok Ledkr.

I just had a chocolate biscuit FamilyNap grin

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 10:42:52

We are all eating cake here!!
I cried pitifully when the soda water sprayed me.
I sat there dripping and sobbing

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 10:44:41

Does it damage them to see us sobbing do you think?

JellyCurls Sun 01-Sep-13 10:44:51

Aaargh!!!! My darling DS has managed to open the upstairs window and through DD's toys out of it so now got both of them screaming. Why we having number 3 again???

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 10:48:15

Well experts would say yes but yesterday she saw me sobbing, stopped being an arse for a second and said "alright mummy?"
I should think not letting it out before losing the plot is more damaging though.

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 10:53:54

Yes it must be better to cry than to pummel them gently against the wall for example. I'm joking kind of

You are brave Jelly! But look at old Ledkr here, she got five and is doing just fine grin

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 12:42:48

Less of the old!! Haha
All went well until I was trying to leave the house and the phone rang I was literally 3 mins cue massive tantrum and took off shoes. Red rag to a bull!
Marched her to car chucked her in car seat and drove her to pool with music blaring.
Feel such a bloody crap mother

Shlurpbop Sun 01-Sep-13 15:50:06

I've given up with my 2 year old today. Announced to my husband that 'you can deal with her tantrums, I've had enough!' And am now back in bed, sulking, fully clothed and on mumsnet.
Hmm. It's worked though - they both think I've lost the plot so are being very nice to me in case I cry!

DS is the same age and exactly as you describe - I think most of it is powered by massive overwhelming feelings, and apparently there's lots of testosterone around at this age must be why he's always shouting at his sister and pushing her in the head - I just try and react calmly, explain that hitting or whatever hurts and when everyone is calm offer a cuddle. I personally think that it's fine for our DC to see us cry every now and then, I'm not talking all the time but just occasionally when we need a cry I think it's alright for them to know that we have feelings too. I broke down over something DS did the other day and he surprised me by offering a cuddle, his favourite soft toy and some kind words. I think it's just a phase and I'm trying to deal with it as calmly as possible!

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 22:41:38

How did the rest of the day go Ledkr?

Good to see you Shlurp and Nice!

I've had a better day today as I mainly palmed DS off onto DP's friends who played football with him in the garden and let themselves get bossed around grin so I feel refreshed before our long day together tomorrow. I was going to take him to a great farm but it's closed on Mondays, so I'm trying to decide what to do.

Ledkr Sun 01-Sep-13 22:58:26

Omg! I was THAT woman in sainsbos. She screamed all the way round refused trolley but ran off when I got her out, any attempts to hold her hand resulting in her going limp.
Tried to put (tiny amount) of shopping which was our lunch for the pool,through self service but she kept touching it so "unexplained item in the bagging area" being yelled at me.
To too it all she woke up as I came to bed and isn't showing signs of going back off as yet.
Have to be in hospital by 7.30.

PseudoBadger Sun 01-Sep-13 23:24:56

Oh no! That is a bad day, I'm sorry sad
Well
Enjoy your hospital break and rest, and I hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Come back when you feel able x

Bumpsadaisie Mon 02-Sep-13 07:29:09

Hate to say it but from memory 2.5 to 3 years was very challenging, the "twos" at their most intense.

By 3 DD was much more obedient and open to reason/negotiation.

My DS (22 mths) has just started saying " no". I'm feeling the fear !!

Ledkr Mon 02-Sep-13 09:55:15

<massive eye roll>
Well I knew that would happen!
It looks like it maybe cancelled.
Fuming. See thread in chat for further explanation I'm too angry to type. Grr

PseudoBadger Mon 02-Sep-13 12:26:11

Oh no! I hope it isn't after all your planning sad

Ledkr Mon 02-Sep-13 15:05:29

Ok it's sorted I'm off soon.
Be back later. I'm starving!

Anxiouswoman Mon 02-Sep-13 19:25:48

Can I join in? Going through a v rough time with 2.11 yo ds. Tantrums that involve screaming, hitting, throwing and scratching. Its exhausting. To top it off he has a gastric bug that is involving hospital trips and vomiting, and Ive got a sinus infection. Feel like bawling with stress. Have done on and off but trying not too.

PseudoBadger Tue 03-Sep-13 07:43:40

Hi Anxious nice to see you. Has this started recently or been building up for a while?

Hope all went well Ledkr

Anxiouswoman Tue 03-Sep-13 07:52:25

I think its been building up for a while, he seems to be flexing his independence. Not sure how to deal with it!

newmum001 Tue 03-Sep-13 09:44:07

Can I join please? Dd is 2.11 and a bloody nightmare recently, made worse by the fact that only mummy will do, daddy isn't allowed to get her dressed, make her dinner, play with her, do her bath etc. Trying not to let her rule the roost but find myself giving in and doing everything for an "easy" life! She's 3 in 2 weeks, please tell me she'll wake up that morning and the terrible 2's will have come to an end.

Ledkr Tue 03-Sep-13 09:54:52

Hi all. Welcome new stressed mums.
I'm ok just waiting to see if I can go home.
Had no sleep as is usually the case.
I have missed my monster terribly and sobbed when I was sent a picture of my dd in her stiff school uniform.
Here's wish you all stress free days.
newmum dd tries to dictate who does what eg. Won't get up in the morning if its not who she chooses to do it.
We try to play it down as much as possible and not always give in to the demands.

TwentyTinyToes Tue 03-Sep-13 10:52:32

This is so familiar, my DS is 2.8 and has been horrible this morning, flinging stuff around dangerously close to his sister, hitting me, leaving toys temptingly close to baby DD then snatching them back when she grabs them, just thoroughly awkward.

When i told him off he put on a very calm, quiet voice and explained that he was swinging his crane around to hit his sister hmm arghhhh

My top tip when pregnant and dealing with a toddler is run a massive bath with toys and bubbles, make yourself a hot drink and a book or phone, dump toddler in the bath and relax. grin

TwentyTinyToes Tue 03-Sep-13 10:53:40

*and grab a book or your phone.

PseudoBadger Tue 03-Sep-13 14:07:23

Could I run the bath and enjoy it myself with DS safely contained in his bedroom? grin

Newmum one of the things that has annoyed DS most is that instead of me doing every bedtime, which would very soon become impossible, DP and I now do alternate ones. We tell him "it's daddy's turn tonight" for example, and he'll usually scream piteously as he is dragged carried up the stairs "but it's mummmmmyyyyy'ssss turrnnnnn"..... Make sure that daddy is on board and isn't going to wimp out, and then make him do things and put up with being kicked, smacked etc while you relax with a cuppa!

Glad you are ok Ledkr, are you home yet?

newmum001 Tue 03-Sep-13 19:17:27

We try to do bedtime together as dp works long (ish) hours and it used to be something we all enjoyed. Tonight however was the latest in a long line of bedtime disasters. I had to read the story which I obviously don't mind but it was interrupted constantly by her kicking dp and trying to shift away from him, she then refused to give him a kiss but made a big deal out of giving me my kiss. He's announced that he no longer wants to be part of bedtimes and I don't blame him, it'd upset me if she was like that with me.

Anxiouswoman Fri 06-Sep-13 19:59:01

Hello everyone. Today ds was fine til late afternoon and he threw a tantrum because he wanted to eat TWO chocolate pots. When I said no he threw everything in sight, then asked for a cuddle, and then when I lowered myself down to him he said 'I want to hit you' and kept lunging at my face. i told him no and left him in the dining room alone while I went into the kitchen, then he screamed the place down and clawed at me screaming 'I want to hit you' for ten minutes straight.

Shattered now.

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