Talk to me about dummies...

(40 Posts)
LittleMilla Tue 30-Jul-13 21:28:41

I loathe them, and yet I did myself staring at one on the coffee table contemplating giving it to my ds2.

He's a wee one at just 11 days old but already I'm shattered after another shit night. He's feeding overnight every 1-2 hours and will sleep for up to 4 hours in the day. I know I need to try and flip him and have attempted to keep him awake more today to feed him more.

So what do people think about dummies? Ds1 never took one but ds2 seems to suckle more and we have short feeds where I know he's not taking much.

Can they be used as the baby whisperer says - just to help them self soothe in the early days and only for the first stage of dropping off to sleep?

LittleMilla Tue 30-Jul-13 21:30:39

Meant to add. He was 8lb 9oz at birth and had already gained 2oz at 5 days old. Being weighed tomorrow and looking at his chubby cheeks, I'm sure he's gaining weight well.

gymboywalton Tue 30-Jul-13 21:31:25

Mine both had dummies. One breastfed for 10 months and the other for 13 months. They both spoke early and both have beautiful straight teeth.

They did love their dummies though!

craigslittleangel Tue 30-Jul-13 21:34:36

There is nothing wrong with a dummy. I used it with my hungry DD1 and got rid of it at 2.3. She never gave it up willingly but it did take the 3 nights everyone talks about. It saved me a whole lot of energy and time when she was small. I understand that if you take it off them before 1, there its easier.

DD2 takes it reluctantly. Another hungry one who likes to have a good suckle. She tends to go for her fingers more, though.

I am of the, "if it works and it gives you some rest, try it".

Hope that helps

craigslittleangel Tue 30-Jul-13 21:35:18

By the way, both were over 8lbs at birth. DD2 was always in the top 92 percentile and dd2 is in the 78th.

notnowbernard Tue 30-Jul-13 21:35:39

Life savers IMO

what's to loathe? confused

They are also called soothers, pacifiers... for good reason

IMHO as long as feeding is well established dummies won't interfere

My older 2 had dummies. No. 3 TOTALLY refused - <shakes fist at memory>

Ponyboycurtis Tue 30-Jul-13 21:37:48

Same here, both had dummies & slept through the night from 6wks. The rule was they only had when tired & due a sleep, once asleep & it had fallen out I tried not to pop it back in unless necessary. Both started talking really early & lovely teeth!! Try the orthodontic ones, they have a flat side & are supposedly better than the 'cherry' ones. Best advice to you is use it wisely & they are a godsend, hope that helps.

MJP1 Tue 30-Jul-13 21:44:37

I too was very anti dummy per birth, then after having a colicky baby who originally wanted to use me as a comforter (breastfeeding) I gave in at 3 weeks and it saved me and my nipples. Now at nearly 6 months we do still use it to soothe her if shes upset but to be honest my baby isn't too fussed she spits it out when calmer or asleep or she prefers to chomp on the hard plastic bits.
They're not evil and they saved my sanity and encouraged me to continue breast feeding when I nearly gave up. I will be scaling the usage back sooner rather than later. But if it makes things a little easier for you and baby go for it. Xx

Layl77 Tue 30-Jul-13 21:45:07

At 11 days I'd leave it a while if I were you. Try feeding more in the day and nights should eventually switch. Dummies remind me of plugs!
They do have an impact on breastfeeding , teeth and speech (not always yes but t has been proven to affect these) so I wouldn't use one especially for first few weeks until bf established.

Amiee Tue 30-Jul-13 21:45:21

Mine wouldn't take one but I would have if i could. But i would have taken it away as soon as they start to babble and get teeth. A lot if kids won't be affected but some are.

LittleMilla Tue 30-Jul-13 21:58:46

My loathing comes from seeing older children with them (and trying to talk through one) and also people shoving them in to children at the first squeak. Whilst I wouldn't do that...I am nervous about how to stop it becoming a permanent fixture.

Can I ask when people first introduced one?

Sheshelob Tue 30-Jul-13 22:06:24

I was anti-dummy, but had a big, sucky baby so gave him one after my nipples exploded on day 10. Combined with a swaddle - something else I was dead against during pregnancy - and he was a sleep machine.

It was such a lifesaver that I stupidly started popping it back into his mouth when he grew out of it at 4 months. He was having a sleep regression and nothing was settling him, so it would have been a prime time to chuck it. But we didn't. I am still kicking myself.

Roll forward to now, and at 21 months, he's an addict. We're pretty strict about when he is allowed it - bed and travel only - but I can't wait to get rid of it. If he is having an unsettled night, he will still wake up repeatedly if it falls out and he can't find it. And if he gets hurt or very upset, he struggles to calm down without it.

In terms of speech, it hasn't slowed him down in any way - he talks more than any of his peers. But his teeth are starting to look a bit wonky...

So I guess the moral to our story is we found it amazing in the short term but wish we'd had the courage to get rid of it before he developed a habit.

Jakeyblueblue Tue 30-Jul-13 22:12:23

I gave one to ds and it was a life saver. He was almost 10lbs born and never lost an oz of his birth weight, just put on straight from the off. He wanted to feed hourly day and night for months and the dummy just helped me push each feed out a little further and give me a little bit of respite.
Having said all this, I did have rules though. No unnecessary use of the dummy and as he got older it was used for sleep only. At about 10 months he stopped wanting it himself and hasn't had one since.
In general dummy's are great if they are used sensibly ( and not like a plug! ). The mere fact you've posted on here means you are aware of the risks related to dummy's and I'd imagine you would ensure these were minimised.
I

Minminbel Tue 30-Jul-13 22:15:42

I was totally anti dummies and resolutely refused to give one to my very sucky and hungry boy.

Roll on four years and he is and always has been a passionate and committed thumb-sucker.

Wish I'd given him a dummy now. At least I could then pretend I have some sort of control over it....

notnowbernard Tue 30-Jul-13 22:39:33

Dc1 had one at about 4w

Dc2 about 1w

Dc3 day 2 (10lb 2 baby, v hungry!)

All excl bf . Dc1+2 had for sleep only from about 9m and ditched from 3y. Dc3 refused entirely from about 2m iirc

Descriptivist Tue 30-Jul-13 22:50:17

God, go for it. You sound like you'll be a judicious user! DD refused one and is a finger addict at 18months. You can take away the dummy...

NaturalBaby Tue 30-Jul-13 23:10:42

All of mine had/have a dummy (I'm trying to convince my 2 1/2yr old to give up his) from quite early. It was a life saver on many occasions but I also had to get up and put them back in quite a few times in the early days until they could find them in the cot themselves.
I'd rather have a dummy sucker than a thumb/finger sucker.

heidihole Tue 30-Jul-13 23:33:06

I gave a dummy and took it away at 12 weeks before he became an 'addict'. I replaced it with cuski (google it) which is a god send. Oh my god he loves his cuski. He's 14m not and not a thumb sucker just a cuski sucker/stroker. Cuski lives in the cot though he doesn't come downstairs.

I have four children and while none of them have had dummies, two are thumb suckers and I wish I could swap the thumb for a dummy.

While I have never had to do it I think a dummy is easier to wean a child from than a thumb.

BackforGood Tue 30-Jul-13 23:49:27

All 3 of mine had dummies, but only to go to sleep with, and they were all rid of them by 2yrs old.
Wouldn't have been without them as babies. The key is, to not let toddlers - or worse 3 and 4 yr olds - wander around with them, preventing, or hindering speech development.

Mouserama Wed 31-Jul-13 04:51:14

I was very anti-dummies - until my LO was born. She is a very sucky baby, and was using me as comfort. I gave her a dummy at about 7 days when I saw her in her moses basket with 6 fingers in her mouth and the remaining fingers/thumbs in her eyes (she hadn't quite realised how to suck her fingers without poking herself in the eye at the same time!). At first the dummy was just at night, but after 3 days I started giving it to her during the day as we. She loves it, and it instantly calms her. I'll deal with taking it away at a later date...(she's only 6wo at the mo)

StupidFlanders Wed 31-Jul-13 05:36:06

I love dummies. As far as I'm concerned for the first few months of a baby's life it gives them joy and that's enough for me. They have also helped me establish good sleeping very early for all of mine.

StupidFlanders Wed 31-Jul-13 05:37:32

mousarama mine also did all the fingers shocked in a mouth with two in the eyes regularly without one!

Lagoonablue Wed 31-Jul-13 06:41:16

Mine never took one. I was the dummy.

LittleMilla Wed 31-Jul-13 11:38:59

Just had him weighed again - he's gained 4oz in under two weeks. MW thinks that my mental supply means he needs to do little to be full - milk just pours in to his mouth. So happy to feed little and often. Dummy could help stretch him between feeds and regulate my supply a little.

I'm going to wake him up more today too to try and adjust this day vs night sleeping. Last night he was up again every 1.5-2 hours. Yet happy to go 3 hours + in the day.

Lagoonablue Wed 31-Jul-13 11:41:41

He is only a few days old. The day night thing can take a while. 2 hourly feeds at night pretty normal.

lottieandmia Wed 31-Jul-13 11:44:54

My breastfed babies would not take dummies. The formula fed one did like them though. It's fine to use one if you're exhausted imo.

DD had a dummy - still does. They don't bother me in the slightest, and it certainly hasn't hindered her speech development. I suspect there is an association of dummies with the Wayne & Waynetta school of parenting which puts people off them.

I was interested to find out that the term "dummy" doesn't refer to their use to keep children dumb/quiet, but to the fact they are a "dummy tit", which was their original name.

Davsmum Wed 31-Jul-13 16:05:54

I was very anti dummy - probably because my mother was - She used to say it was for 'lazy mothers' !!!
My DD never had one and it wasn't an issue - but when my DS came along - I 'gave in' and got one because he liked to suckle all the time!

I don't think there is anything wrong with them but I would probably say don't use it when you don't have to - and try to wean the baby off it at some point because my DS still used his when he was 3 and it was harder to stop it then! I think I let him have it too often - and it did seem to affect his teeth which sort of curved where the dummy was always in - however, they straightened when he stopped using a dummy.

Layl77 Wed 31-Jul-13 17:05:30

4 oz isn't a lot for under two weeks. Average is 3-7ish per week. Sounds perfectly normal for the age, after 6 weeks I find it gets easier and you're not as much of a human dummy ;) although dummies are plastic nipples!

brettgirl2 Wed 31-Jul-13 17:55:32

its simple, take the dummy off them before they get to old. Both mine had them but I also loathe seeing kids wandering around soft play with them in. 4 oz in first 2 Weeks is good, Most are about birthweight at that point surely?

LittleMilla Wed 31-Jul-13 18:17:37

He lost a couple of oz in the first days and so he's actually gained 6oz. MW impressed as they simply expect them to be back up to birthweight by 2 weeks. So I'm happy.

I'm going to play it by ear. He's been awake (woken!) much more today and so I'll see if the extra calories make any difference. Will give it a whirl tonight if he starts waking hourly again as I'm pretty sure he's not hungry.

Layl77 Wed 31-Jul-13 22:25:11

Sorry didn't click it's first two weeks, yes that's good he's gaining so well. Bf is obviously going well well done!

kipplin Wed 31-Jul-13 22:50:36

I've had two 9lb 5oz babies, both have had dummies. My 4yo gave hers to the dummy fairy when she turned 3. Prior to that she had only had them for bedtime. We had no trouble at all parting with them, much to my surprise!! She has excellent speech and is a lovely chilled out little lady....as am I!! The dummy has been a good friend to me ;)

I'm not a big fan of seeing LO out and about with them stuck in their mouth, so my only personal advice would be to set that rule early.

Imsosorryalan Wed 31-Jul-13 23:05:28

I used dummies with both of mine. Was adamant I wouldn't at first but quickly changed my tune when I saw how they workedgrin
Dd1 gave hers up to the dummy fairy at 3 without problems and dd2 we took it off her at 6 months again, no problems except for one tricky afternoon nap time.

Kiwiinkits Thu 01-Aug-13 03:27:55

Dummies are all good for young sucky babies.
IMO dummies should be phased out before the baby hits about 7-8 months. And should be kept for in-bed use only. Otherwise they get VERY attached and they're hard to remove.

I am absolutely against kids who are forming language and starting to speak having dummies during the day. HATE HATE HATE kids of 2 or 3 walking around sucking a dummy as I think it stops meaningful communication.

Imsosorryalan Thu 01-Aug-13 09:23:36

Yes, agreed. My two only kept their dummies in the bedroom and it didn't come out of there.

Chocolateyclaire76 Thu 01-Aug-13 11:12:41

I too loathed the idea of a dummy after seeing older children sucking on them but it's amazing how your opinions change post child birth! My LO was extremely loud and vocal from the moment she came out and although I really did try to resist it became too much and I gave in. She seemed to want it more the older she got, she's now 8 months, and I'm now having a debate about weaning her off it. She developed a habit of needing it to settle during night wakings which are frequent - the dreaded downside to the dummy!

In general though, I still hate the look of them and don't like seeing her suck it but if it's making her happy at the moment then I'm just going to go with it and deal with the fall out later!

GingerDoodle Thu 01-Aug-13 11:20:36

I, like you, don't like them. However I did not want to be used as a soother, at first my DD wouldn't take one at first (a few days) and I can't remember when she did - 3 weeks or so.

She is now 10 months and mainly has it for naps / when she is tired; she is beginning to reject it at other times. My plan is to not upgrade the size - she has the 0 - 6 month ones and I won't be buying bigger - when they are too small to be effective hopefully she will just give them up.

Mum2Fergus Fri 02-Aug-13 22:23:59

Never used one with DS who's now nearly 4...

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