nursery declines naps for 3 to 4 year olds

(75 Posts)
sisteroutlaw Wed 26-Jun-13 16:12:25

My DS just turned 3 and started at nursery 8am to 6pm 4 days a week (previously with a childminder). He has always been a good sleeper [lucky] and settles in under 10 mins for a daytime sleep for anything up to 1.5 hours and at night for 11 hours. NHS choices recommend 1 hour daytime and 11 hour night time for 3-4 year olds so it's not excessive against this.

The nursery are anti-nap for this age-group saying it's not good to take him away from the other children to have a sleep; he won't get to integrate so well with the afternoon slot kids who arrive after lunch; that it is part of the preparation for going to reception class. Then it comes down to staffing and getting a "special service" and they're worried if he has a sleep then every parent will want their kid to have one. Sigh. There is a room where the younger toddlers nap. When I signed him up there was talk of slowly phasing out the nap -in my mind this was over the year- but they seem to have implemented this instantly despite my asking for him to have one every day.

I am most concerned about his behaviour and development as an individual and that he needs a nap to function. The crankiness and meltdowns over these last two weeks when I get him home are distressing us both. I'd rather not have to rush bedtime to put him down for 7pm. 8pm bedtime seems to give enough time for snack, play/telly, bath, stories, bed. Having to do all that in 45 mins sets my head spinning.

My options are: new nursery without the amazing outdoor space and general fab facilities (in London) or just ride out the no-nap schedule and forgo what I think he needs developmentally. Wise women of mumsnet, what would you do/what have you done in similar situations?

maja00 Wed 26-Jun-13 16:14:22

Is it an Ofsted registered nursery? I'd call Ofsted and ask them on their opinions of nurseries providing for individual children's need to sleep, and then go to the nursery armed with that.

sisteroutlaw Wed 26-Jun-13 16:30:31

Oo maja00 that sounds like a good idea if potentially dropping the nursery in it. Had an overly long convo with the person in charge going round in circles about this napping thing.

I suppose I'm worried in general about this overly-stimulating environment. Ofsted require so much of early years providers that there seems to be little chance for rest/repose scheduled into the day. There are places where the kids can seek out quiet time, but I didn't understand my need for this until my mid-twenties so don't expect a 3 year old to identify when take himself off somewhere quiet! On the one hand I see him thriving with the extra input but the next moment we have meltdown.

Going to look at Ofsted now and see if there is a general number...

Kyrptonite Wed 26-Jun-13 16:32:19

Seriously?

SofiaAmes Wed 26-Jun-13 16:38:28

That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in a while. Not allowing 3-4 year olds a nap time to "prepare" them for reception. I think that borders on abuse. My ds is 12 and still often takes a mid day nap, because he needs it. Dd gave up her midday nap at 2, but she's quite the exception. Why don't you look into child minders instead. They are a wonderful alternative to nurseries and will give your child all the individual attention he needs (not that napping at midday should constitute "individual" attention)

Poledra Wed 26-Jun-13 16:38:38

Really? My youngest child had a nap until she was 4 (though it wasn't every day by the end. My oldest child dropped her daytime naps at 2.5. Every child is different, and I would expect the nursery to work with this. Bloody hell, I had the school call me one day to say my youngest had fallen asleep in the book corner during her first year in reception - they said they would have just left her to sleep it out but she was rather hot and feverish so could someone please come and get her?

sisteroutlaw Wed 26-Jun-13 16:49:15

Yes it does seem ridiculous the more I think about it, yet they seem to be quite fixed on this point.

Sofia He was with a lovely childminder but we had an under-stimulation issue there - too much telly and she was spoon-feeding him for convenience when he could do it himself. I suppose we could find a new one. It's a good option.

Poledra that's my point - every child is different! Some drop naps earlier, some cling on. I also used to fall asleep in the book corner in reception class! grin 30 years ago the teacher was fine with it just told my mother it was no problem! And I'd stopped by the summer term.

I'll try to get through to Ofsted and reiterate my points to the one in charge.

My dd1's new Reception teacher (starting in September) told me that they let their Reception kids have a nap if they need it. Completely ridiculous.

sisteroutlaw Wed 26-Jun-13 16:57:51

Thanks for posting everybody - it does help to see that I'm not just being a fussy parent.

I'd rather not remove him from there as he loves his key worker but fear we might have reached an impasse on the napping issue.

FYI Ofsted general helpline: 0300 123 1231 8am-6.45pm. Will let you know what they say on the matter but fear they're all about charts/provision/stimulation and are behind nurseries getting themselves in to a tizz.

maja00 Wed 26-Jun-13 16:59:59

It's an Ofsted requirement that children have adequate space/time to rest and nap.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Wed 26-Jun-13 17:06:07

If a child needs to sleep then they need to sleep, I would imagine the nursery are skating on thin ice over this as far as Ofsted are concerned.

insancerre Wed 26-Jun-13 17:13:45

You need to have a frank discussion with the nursery. Tell them that you are thinking of taking him out because they are not meeting his needs. I expect they will find a way round it if they think they are going to lose business.
Plenty of children still have a daytime sleep at his age, and in a properly managed nursery that recognises children's individual needs, then this really shouldn't be a problem.
Speak to the nursery first, explain that you would really like him to have a daytime sleep and ask them how they are going to accommodate this.
If you get no further forward, then I would suggest you ring ofsted and ask for their advice.If you do make a complaint against the nursery and it is upheld by ofsted this will be published with their ofsted inspection report and be available for everyone to see on the internet.
The EYFS p24 states "Provision must be made (space or partitioned) for children who wish to relax, play quietly or sleep, equipped with appropriate furniture"

tumbletumble Wed 26-Jun-13 18:21:00

My DD had a 2 hour nap every day until she was 4.3.

Fantail Wed 26-Jun-13 19:20:15

DDs day care has enforced quiet time for all children. Some will go to sleep, others just have a rest.

Surely having a group of tired children causes more problems than letting some sleep.

sisteroutlaw Wed 26-Jun-13 22:48:55

tumbletumble DS can also sleep for 2 hours once under.

Fantail I love the idea of enforced quiet time/sleep optional - your nursery seems to get it. I would like this as the transition for when he's ready to cut out daytime naps.

I'll have another chat with them reiterating the points you've all made. Thanks for giving me some other reasonable arguments so I don't go insane repeating my own language! insancerre <Plenty of children still have a daytime sleep at his age, and in a properly managed nursery that recognises children's individual needs then this really shouldn't be a problem.> EXACTLY! But I fear I might get p24 quoted back to me as they have such provision for quiet play but the child must choose to go there.

As adults, do we choose to go to bed when we are tired or ignore those cues in favour of a bit of mumsnet...? hmm There's a lot placed on the autonomy of a three year old. It irks me that they simply won't put him down gently for a wee nap every day after lunch in the room with the younger toddlers. It simply shouldn't be such a big issue.

Fantail Wed 26-Jun-13 23:02:13

My sister often had a sleep until she was 5 and went to school (we are in NZ).

Little children need sleep in order to process what they have learnt. I thought that the early years curriculum was meant to be child centred? In which case the needs of the child should inform the programme. Your son needs a rest/sleep in order to learn best/cope with the day.

DD's nursery don't do naps generally, but I knew this when I sent her there, if I really wanted her to nap they would sort it out and if she looks like she is asleep on her feet they do sort out somewhere for her to sleep. She mostly doesn't nap and has fallen asleep on my lap at 5.30 a few times as a result. Her nursery makes it clear that they work in partnership with parents and always in the best interests of the child.

Your nursery are crazy to stop a just 3 yo napping on the basis that this prepares him for school. He won't be going to school for ages. This is clearly for their convenience and if the catalyst for making children drop naps is moving them between rooms then it is really not at all child led. I would be worried about a nursery being so unresponsive to a reasonable parental request.

Seb101 Thu 27-Jun-13 08:52:28

I'd be cross about this too. I'd ask nursery to put child to sleep everyday. If they didn't agree and do it, I'd be very direct in my complaint. I'd state that its their job to work in partnership with parents to meet children's individual needs. Your child needs a nap, they must provide it, however inconvenient! If after that frank discussion they still didn't change, I'd make complaint to ofsted and remove my child. I know how it feels to be 'talked at' going over and over old ground! I'd simply say I don't want to go over this again, and that the issue isn't negotiable for you. You'd simply like a yes/no answer. I'd drop in somewhere about it being an ofsted requirements to provide naps for children for as long as they require. I'd be amazed it nursery didn't have a change of heart on this issue. Seems crazy to me! Good luck to you. It must be horrible for your child to be tired and grumpy when all they want is a sleep!

sisteroutlaw Thu 27-Jun-13 10:09:05

Thanks for your responses breatheslowly, fantail and Seb101. The sticky bit is they say they have been asking DS if he wants a nap hmm and only once has he said yes... but they want to phase this asking out. I simply want it as part of his routine when there. I am not on the go from 8am to 6pm frolicking and learning (sadly). I'm stuck behind a desk. It must be so much for them to take in.

He is happy when there as he likes to be the last one at the party (like his dad) but then that has a flip side - meltdowns and eye bags sad

Going to recycle the comments: young children need sleep in order to process what they've learnt/ nursery's job to work in partnership with parents/ not at all child led/ unresponsive to parents' requests. And that I don't want to go over old ground.

Wasn't able to call Ofsted to enquire yesterday but will do shortly after doing a bit of work...

Seb101 Thu 27-Jun-13 13:22:52

Asking a 3 year old if they want a nap is ridiculous! Of course they will say no! 3 year olds aren't mature enough to make a decision like that. If given the choice most kids will refuse sleep. Imagine; saying to a 3 year old ' it's 7.30 now; bedtime; do you want to go to bed or stay up and play??' Most will choose to stay up! That's a silly excuse for the nursery to use! You as the parent decides when your child sleeps and the amount of sleep they need. Not the child or the nursery! My rule of thumb is, keep putting them down for sleep as a part of the routine until they take longer than say 30 mins to fall asleep. If they are still awake after 30 mins, it may be time to drop nap as they may not need it. Hope you get this sorted. Xgrin

sisteroutlaw Thu 27-Jun-13 13:30:52

Cheers Seb101 I hope I get this sorted too! I have the same plan with DS's naps: when he's not falling asleep easily it may be time to phase them out - until then he needs them.

teacher123 Thu 27-Jun-13 14:04:11

My DS is currently 14mo and goes to a lovely childminder, and she is currently slightly pushing to phase out his morning nap, because i think it would make her life slightly easier and sometimes he struggles to settle in the afternoon. However He is going through quite a separation anxiety phase at the moment and he is really struggling without his morning nap if he misses it more than once or if he wakes very early (bloody blackbirds!) so I've said very politely (but firmly) that I want things to stay the same at the moment until I break up for the summer and have time to consistently implement a change of routine. I think that sometimes people forget that they are little people with individual needs. When DS doesn't settle in the afternoon he doesn't cry, he just plays in his cot and babbles away to himself, so it's not like he's disturbing anyone else. Your DS needs the sleep, so carry on making your demands explicit to the staff. They are our children, we know best.

expectingtoomuch Thu 27-Jun-13 14:49:47

The thing is, if he is not getting a nap in the afternoon when he needs one he is going to fall asleep on pick up.
Which means your routine at home is out and it messes his sleep up at home.

I had this many years ago with nursery, dd would fall asleep in the car on pick up, sleep for the journey home and then be awake till ten oclock at night angry

They are not meeting individual children's needs.

DD was still falling asleep in reception despite attempts to phase it out. It was not an issue.

sisteroutlaw Thu 27-Jun-13 15:29:10

expectingtoomuch did you get the nursery to see sense ever/put your DC down for a nap? You don't want them conking out too close to bedtime - that's a disaster!

I called Ofsted and as I suspected, the provision of quiet places meets their minimum requirements, however, they did say that not putting him down for a nap might not be meeting my child's individual needs if that's what he needs.

Ofsted don't seem to think it hard for a child to take themselves off somewhere when they've had enough. Fine. But I dont want him doing this after 3pm/less than 3 hours before bedtime.

They hammered on about input and kids being like sponges at this age and I repeated they need time to process/absorb the info. Grr [dismayed]

I would move him somewhere else, to be honest.

My DS is 3. Every afternoon when we say it's naptime, he screams and says no. Every afternoon. But then he does settle quickly and will sleep for up to 3 hours sometimes. When he misses his nap he's a nightmare in the evening.

I would not at all be impressed with a nursery outright refusing to give him a nap, and I would also think this kind of attitude will potentially carry over into other issues in future.

forevergreek Thu 27-Jun-13 15:53:42

I wouldn't be impressed either tbh. Our eldest at 3 1/2 naps every day, he would be very unhappy after 4/5 pm without

Seb101 Thu 27-Jun-13 15:56:03

Ofsted are useless sometimes. They never want to get involved in specific issues like this. As long as nursery meeting basic requirements, there not interested!
I'd be very tempted to remove him from nursery. I wouldn't want a childcare setting dictating to me what my child needs. But, I can be a bit stubborn when it comes to issues like this. I suppose the sensible thing to do would be; weigh up situation as a whole; is he happy, is nursery otherwise meeting his needs, does he enjoy himself etc. If this is only issue, I'd possibly let it go. Only because moving a child to another setting could be difficult and unsettling for child. Plus other nursery might be worse lol, better the devil you know and all that! It's a difficult situation I guess. Depends how strongly you feel about it ultimately. Bloody nursery, they sound like a Pita! confused

brettgirl2 Fri 28-Jun-13 15:01:41

Although all of this 'asking the child is ridiculous' How do you make a 3 year old nap in a nursery environment if they don't want to? Both of my daughters have been really tricky with napping at nursery from a young age. On the other hand I was in a few weeks ago and a 3.5 year old was curled up in a quiet corner grin.

maja00 Fri 28-Jun-13 16:50:04

You can't make a child nap, but if you ask a child "would you like a nap" 99% of the time the answer will be no. If you say "it's nap time, come and lie down" chances are a tired child will lie down and sleep.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 29-Jun-13 08:46:31

That sounds like terrible care to me. Neither of my children wanted to nap at all after about 2 but I am aware some children need a nap right up until they're about 5!

This is why the UK preschool care is shit compared to that in the rest of Europe where small children are treated as...SMALL CHILDREN. I feel angry on your DS behalf OP.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 29-Jun-13 08:47:39

My DD is at a state school in reception and even there, the teacher allows a tired 5 year old to go and lie down in the quiet corner. She says "Oh sometimes they're like clockwork mice and they run out of power."

Iwillorderthefood Sat 29-Jun-13 08:56:42

My DDs' nursery have two groups sleeps and non sleepers. The nursery put them in the sleepers group until either they just don't settle or the parent requests that the nap is dropped. Additionally the parent can specify how long their child sleeps, so if they need a nap but two hours is too much, then they will wake the, up after the time specified.

TheSecondComing Sat 29-Jun-13 09:01:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sat 29-Jun-13 09:21:50

I know what you mean TSC it sometimes seems that parents don't consider this...not all reception teachers are amenable to naps....mine both stopped at 2 and I was happy with that but here in the UK we do shove them out of toddlerhood rather quickly imo too.

SofiaAmes Sat 29-Jun-13 10:22:29

TheSecondComing, some children need the sleep and if you don't figure out how to make sure that they get it, then you are doing them a disservice. My ds needs a minimum of 11 hours a night and if he's got a cold, then that goes up to 16+. As it turns out he has Functional Mitochondrial Disorder, but that was only diagnosed when he was 11. Before that as far as we knew he was simply a child who needed a lot of sleep. If he didn't get the sleep, he got very ill. I had to make sure he was in an educational environment that allowed that. My dd needs many hours a day less sleep and certainly doesn't need a midday nap. I think that more parents should be sensitive to the individual needs of their children and not try to stuff them into some box of pre conceived ideas.

TheSecondComing Sat 29-Jun-13 10:36:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

There is a big difference between a just 3 yo and a nearly 4 yo. I'm sure many just 3 yo still need a sleep, but it is probably more uncommon in nearly 4 yos. There is also a difference between managing to stay awake and it being the right thing for the child. DD doesn't normally nap, but gets quite grumpy as a result. If she has a nap it magically transforms her back into a happy child.

scarlettsmummy2 Sat 29-Jun-13 11:23:19

My daughter is at a private prep nursery- no naps once they move upstairs at age three. It is ran by ageing Norland nannies and I think most of the mums would be shot down in flames at even suggesting it.

maja00 Sat 29-Jun-13 13:25:25

My DS is 2.11 and would still nap for 2+ hours if he could! I have started waking him after 1.5 hours and it is still a struggle to wake him then. If he doesn't have a nap about 12.30ish he will crash later - literally lie down on the floor and go to sleep or fall asleep in his dinner, or go to bed early and wake early.

It suits him to have a decent nap after lunch, so why shouldn't he? He has a good nap, enjoys his afternoon and then sleeps well at night.

maja00 Sat 29-Jun-13 13:27:44

In fact, DP is putting DS to bed now - his nap's late because we've been out this morning and he is miserable and beside himself.

forevergreek Sat 29-Jun-13 13:36:04

Second coming- as a sleep consultant I would still be including naps in most 3 year old sleep schedules.

Our own 2 and 3 year olds sleep 1.30-2hrs daily. They sleep approx 12 hrs at night. I would be exhausted too If I was them.
For example this morning we all woke at 8.30, we have walked 30 mins to family, they then spent approx 10-12 running around with cousins in park ( whilst we sat half that time or swapped what adults joined in, they were constently moving). Then walked back another 30mins. Dh is just putting them down for a nap now and they are exhausted, they will nap until around 3.30. This afternoon we will go for a swim, then out to a restaurant. They will sleep around 9pm.
We work a lot and go out after work together. I would be annoyed if nursery didn't let them nap as try would be exhausted at 6pm, which is when we finish and go eat/ see family/ spend time together.

maja00 Sat 29-Jun-13 13:44:06

I work in a nursery and ime there are always a handful of children in the 2-3 room who still nap for an hour or 2 after their 3rd birthday, and a couple every year who still nap if they do a full day in the nursery class so go to the younger children's sleep room. I don't think it is true that it is very unusual for children to nap after 2.5.

Are you a SAHM TheSecondComing? Maybe that is the difference - children who are at home most of the time don't get so tired, and SAHMs would rather they were in bed earlier in the evening. Children at nursery are on the go constantly, it's very stimulating and tiring and they need the break - then they want to spend time with their parents after work in the evening.

TheSecondComing Sat 29-Jun-13 13:47:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSecondComing Sat 29-Jun-13 13:48:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maja00 Sat 29-Jun-13 13:51:58

I wouldn't say that either, but being at home and being at nursery are quite different.

My DS is starting preschool in September (we're in France) and they still have 2 hour naps for the 3 year olds, and the 4 year olds can nap as well if they want to. They're not expected to give them up until 5.

I think people here would think it was odd if a 3 year old didn't nap.

Quangle Sat 29-Jun-13 15:47:00

I find this odd tbh. My DS is 3 and the youngest in his class. He's been in the nursery class since he was 3 plus ten days and there's no provision for naps. They lie on the carpet for 15 mins quiet time after lunch but that's it. Never occurred to me to be concerned about his development!

eddiemairswife Sat 29-Jun-13 16:14:31

My older daughter used to have an afternoon nap especially after play group mornings when she'd walked there and back. I stopped doing it the term before she started school. She wasn't keen on ME napping though. I remember one after noon just before her sister was born trying to close my eyes for a few minutes, and she was prising my eyelids open saying,"Don't go to sleep Mummy".I think your little boy should have a nap if he needs it. It's a very long day for him.

SofiaAmes Sat 29-Jun-13 16:40:22

The latest research indicates that it's actually better (more restful) to break up sleep and not have it all in one go at night. TheSecondComing, is it possible that what works for your family might not work for everyone. Just because the children in your limited circle don't need daytime naps, doesn't mean that it's a universal truth. As I pointed out, my ds gets very ill if he doesn't get a daytime sleep. I think the op was just trying to point out that her child needs sleep during the day and wasn't being provided the appropriate care to meet that need.

TheSecondComing Sat 29-Jun-13 16:54:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maja00 Sat 29-Jun-13 17:07:54

The fact that you apparently know hundreds of kids isn't very relevant to whether the OP's child needs a nap.

5madthings Sat 29-Jun-13 17:10:17

It really depends on the child.

Ds1 was never a napper.

Ds2 did a bit but outgrew it by age two, ditto ds3.

Ds4 was and still can be a napper. He carried on having a nap for ages, he would take himself off to bed and still does. He is five and in reception, he stays awake for school but then we have a 45min walk home and may stop at park for a bit on way. He will go upstairs to get changed out of his uniform and then when I go up a few mi s later he will be in bed asleep still in his uniform. Will nap till dinner time, hgabe dinner, play a bit then go to bed at 7:30pm.

Dd is just two and a half and is dropping her nap, she will nap every few days it depends what we are doing.

But I have other friends whose children napped until age 4+ and some that gave it up by 18mths.

If a child needs a nap the nursery should make sure they get it.

tumbletumble Sat 29-Jun-13 17:19:00

Hi TheSecondComing

I agree with you that most DC drop their nap between age 2 and 3. However, some don't, and clearly some of their parents have been attracted to this thread by the title and wish to share their experience.

DD had a 2 hour nap nearly every day until she was 4.3. It certainly wasn't because she wasn't getting enough sleep at night (11+ hours) and it wasn't to 'suit' me (I have 2 other DC who dropped their nap at a more normal age). She is just a child who needs more sleep than average.

In answer to your question about how she managed at school, luckily she has a September birthday so was nearly 5 by the time she started school. Not sure how she would have coped if she'd been an August baby.

HTH.

tumbletumble Sat 29-Jun-13 17:21:35

PS I'm a SAHM too, if that is relevant.

forevergreek Sat 29-Jun-13 20:21:34

Kids in America often nap at kindergarten until 6/7 years so a child of 3 snoozing seems normal

My 3.9 year old has a day nap every other day - he needs it and gets upset without one for more than two days in a row. So we let him.
He doesn't go to school until next year so I'm not bothered about him napping now.
He's getting better at skipping them - I remember the first time he didn't have a nap aged 2.6. He basically had a meltdown from 2pm until he crashed at 5pm <shudders at memory>

Oh and I asked Tania sleep woman about naps in the web chat - she said most kids drop the nap between 3&4.

Goldmandra Sat 29-Jun-13 21:07:38

How is the fact that other children can manage without naps at this age relevant?

The OP's child needs a nap and the nursery should be making provision for it. The argument that other parents will start asking for their child to have a nap if they know this child is having one is ridiculous. It is a clear indication that the nursery is failing to meet the needs of other children too.

Why would a three year old need to manage without a nap now just because he or she won't be able to have one at school? How is getting ready for school relevant or important at the age of three?

Pre-school provision is different from school provision for a reason and treating three year olds as if they were at school is not getting them ready for school.

Good Early Years settings get children ready for school by enabling them to develop their independence, resilience and communication gradually over their pre-school year, not treating them as if they were already there.

SneezySnatcher Sat 29-Jun-13 21:35:04

TBH I'm just envy that any children have naps at age 3. DD dropped her last nap at 2.1 (and they were hit and miss before that). Now I've got a newborn too I would pay her to have a nap if it would work.

OP - if your DS needs a nap then you need to find a new nursery or CM. Sleep is so important <props eyes open with matchsticks>

lolalotta Sun 30-Jun-13 06:10:53

Had to send my DD into nursery for 4 days this week instead of two, she was exhausted. They offered her a nap, she declined wink, she is 3.5. It's crazy, they should be working with you child's needs!

sisteroutlaw Mon 01-Jul-13 14:55:42

Just checking in - didn't realise napping could excite so many! grin

Still not resolved this with the nursery. DS exhausted and batty when I pick him up.

Some useful comments for me to recycle in my next talk with the nursery: doing him a disservice; different needs; annoyed as we don't get to spend quality time together in the evenings (he is wretched ergo the house is a hole of toddler-ridden misery); big difference btw a just 3 and a nearly 4 year old developmentally; pre-school provision is different from school provision; on the go all day - what a long day. Plus he wants to spend time with us in the evening and I don't want to bundle him off to bed when we've hardly caught up. Poor mite. Sorry can't name-check individually although I feel for you sneezysnatcher that your DC doesn't nap. Am pg at the mo and dread the meltdown toddler + newborn moments that await...

Had an ace weekend though mumsnetters - busy busy toddler action, yet with naps wink

Does the nursery have a waiting list? Would threatening to move him have any effect?

sparkleshine Mon 01-Jul-13 22:54:50

Seems a bit wrong that the nursery won't allow a nap for your DS if you have specifically asked for him to have one. Those are his individual needs and should be catered for.

My DS (3.7) doesn't generally have a nap anymore and hasn't for a few months unless we've had a busy morning and we are in the car after lunch or not slept well night before.
At nursery he doesn't nap, usually too busy and playing but I doubt they would refuse it if he needed it or noticed he was tired.
When he was about 2 1/2- 3yrs old I said to not let him sleep longer than an hour and half and not after 3pm as it started to affect his bed time and they were fine with this. It worked for all of us.
Some had a sleep or rested and some carried on playing, both fine for the staff.

maja00 Mon 01-Jul-13 22:58:09

OP, have you had a really serious, formal, sit-down meeting with the manager about this? I would really formalise it, put your request in writing etc.

duchesse Mon 01-Jul-13 23:18:24

Good grief! French nurseries carry on the naps till nearly age 6. Tbh most children don't sleep in the afternoons after about age 4 (unless they've had a late night) but they do have a quiet hour after lunch. DD3 (3.10) only very recently (in the last 3-4 months) stopped having several afternoon naps a week. Typically she'd have one every 3-4 days. Now she's just really tired from about 5pm and I have to avoid taking her anywhere in the car at that time or risk a 2 hour nap followed by later bedtime.

Thingiebob Tue 02-Jul-13 04:12:01

My DD is 3 years and five months and hasn't napped since before the age of 2! I am amazed that kids still nap at nearly school age. My DDs nursery has no provision for naps in the older child's room.

babySophieRose Tue 02-Jul-13 09:32:44

Could you just ask them to let him have a nap if and when he is tired? That's what our nursery do, not particular times, but when they need to have one.

duchesse Tue 02-Jul-13 09:56:37

Well, thingie, many of them do. I can't see what the problem is. If a nursery has no provision for napping among older toddlers then I'd be asking serious questions about fitness for purpose. I'd much rather have a child napping than the crabby exhausted that was my DS who stopped napping at 18 months. So far I've had two nappers past the age of 2 and two who haven't. I can see no correlation to anything except maybe my desire to have children 3 and 4 napping so I can have an hour unimpeded every day.

Thingiebob Tue 02-Jul-13 14:08:34

I don't have a prob with napping toddlers, I'm just surprised by some of the ages on the posts above. Also a bit jealous. I would love to have a napping toddler. My dd dropped her sleep at 18 months and only sleeps for about 9 to 10 hrs a night.

I don't think DDs nursery would accommodate a nap for 3 yrs above. There is nowhere for them to sleep on the premises.

insancerre Tue 02-Jul-13 18:14:49

thingiebob, the nursery have to let them sleep- it's in the EYFS and they have to make provision for children who need to sleep and they have to cater for children's individual needs
most often or not, children are settled into the book area to slep as that's where the comfy furniture is, bean bags etc

Ineedmorepatience Tue 02-Jul-13 21:37:34

I work in an early years setting and we provide a space for children to nap if they need it. We currently have 2 children (brothers) who nap fairly regularly the eldest is 4 and the youngest 2.10.

My own youngest child napped until age 4 and still slept well at night. I think napping should be encouraged not sniffed at. They are still little.

OP hope you manage to sort this out.

Jakeyblueblue Tue 02-Jul-13 21:57:10

I'd move nursery if they continue to refuse to facilitate a nap.
IMO there's no debate to be had regarding this issue. If a child is tired, they need to sleep, regardless of age.
I'm not sure why people think that all children have to follow a similar time line to all the rest. Also the motion people make toddlers nap so they can have an hours peace I'd ridiculous. Toddlers don't have an on / off switch!
My ds 2.0 goes to my mother in laws one day per week and she makes no attempt to get him to have a nap. The result is an irritable tired little boy when I pick him up, he then falls asleep in the car on the way home no matter what i do to keep him awake and as a result, is then difficult to get to bed later that night.
Its not difficult, if he's tired, he should sleep. If they can't recognise that then I'd question their suitability in the first place.

MrsOakenshield Tue 02-Jul-13 22:03:59

that sounds very odd. We have the opposite problem, we have had to ask DD's nursery not to put her down for a nap, as she won't sleep at bedtime till about 9/9.30, even with just a 20 minute nap (and she never naps at home). I would have doubts about a nursery preparing children for school at such a young age, they should be focussing on what's appropriate now. And isn't the Reception year meant to be about preparing them for school??

Habbibu Tue 02-Jul-13 22:23:34

I do wonder if it's some sort of genetic developmental thing. Apparently I slept most afternoons until I started school aged 5. My dd only dropped her naps aged 4 after we went away with friends for a weekend and she decided naps were childish. She still fell asleep on afternoon car journeys until about 5.5. Ds (3.5) still sleeps most afternoons, and suffers if he misses 2 days on the run. He falls asleep on any longish car journey. We are all early risers, and seem very similar sleep wise.

My friend's dcs, on the other hand, all dropped their naps aged about 18 months, despite her desire for them to hang on for the sake of her sanity!

SofiaAmes Wed 03-Jul-13 06:20:21

Some people need more sleep than others, and I think that shows at a very young age. My mother once had to pull me out of a nursery because they were insisting I nap at midday (I was 4) and weren't happy letting me quietly look at a book. I don't think I've had a midday nap more than once or twice in my whole life since I was 2. A college roommate and I once figured out that she slept 40 hours a week more than I did!!!!!!

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