Funny/embarrassing things your dc have said in public

(45 Posts)
ellesabe Tue 25-Jun-13 18:59:01

Dd (2.7yo) said very loudly in a public toilet cubicle:

"Look mummy, you got a very curly bottom!"

blush

HomeintheSun Tue 25-Jun-13 19:39:25

my DS (pointing at a man about 8 foot away)Shouted "Mum look at that fat man".
My DD, "That's not a man mum that's a lady, but she does look like a man" the woman was 2 foot away.

matana Tue 25-Jun-13 20:39:17

I like beer. This was 2.6yo ds in a restaurant last night...

diet7up Wed 26-Jun-13 10:38:38

mummy look at that mans boobies

PeterParkerSays Wed 26-Jun-13 10:58:19

Ooh daddy, look, a pirate!

Man further up the aisle in Tesco, with an eye patch. bless him, he turned round and did a full blooded "ooh aargh" for DS who was thrilled.

DH went to apologise but the man said it was fine, DS wasn't the first child to think he was a pirate.

The poor bloke.

trikken Wed 26-Jun-13 11:02:08

Haha hilarious PeterParker.

trikken Wed 26-Jun-13 11:03:10

Haha hilarious PeterParker.

'why are you bald? Why you have no hair?' to a man on the bus.

The man replied 'because I'm old'

The toddler then asked 'why you old?'

Also the woman who sneezed and her teeth fell out and he shouted 'oh shit man, your teeth' and just stared in terror.

He went through a stage of saying 'oh shit' because he heard me say it once. I couldn't tell him off for that though. I couldn't breathe for laughing!

Purple2012 Wed 26-Jun-13 11:08:23

When my nephew was about 6 they all went to a pub for lunch and when asked what he wanted to drink hw said jack Daniels and coke.

Prozacbear Wed 26-Jun-13 11:36:44

DS (2.4) invariably asks for beer or wine whenever we go for a pub lunch- but very insistently, and repeatedly.

DP taught him how to say wassup (from that really annoying TV show?), which DS loves. So now whenever anyone says hello, he shouts, "WAAAASUUUUUP!!!!" in their faces, complete with tongue flying everywhere. Polite.

Ds hit my mum on the bum with his teddy bear aged about 3 in a packed bakery and shouted 'Look! Benny's bumming you!'

neriberi Wed 26-Jun-13 11:42:56

Sat watching my niece at her confirmation in a very packed church when my DS suddenly asks if he can to go to the pub...

expectingtoomuch Wed 26-Jun-13 11:54:03

DD who has sn last week in church explaining how babies were made in graphic detail to another child. Damn you library book....

Ha ha, love these threads grin

My DS, went around for days telling everyone I was 'on a diarrhoea' when ever we was around food, I was on a diet, and corrected him each time, swear he was doing it on purpose after the first few times, he was four, little monster!

toomanyfionas Wed 26-Jun-13 12:06:06

When the priest popped in to chat pre-church occasion, ds asked: how much longer are you staying and are you going to keep talking this much?
Then, "Mummy needs to have faith because she was very grouchy today."

Kyrptonite Wed 26-Jun-13 12:09:11

Can we leave Tesco now I'm bloody hungry!

Look at that mans big boobies

And general singing of one direction songs loudly in public.

All 4 year old DS

Sprite21 Wed 26-Jun-13 13:52:01

DD 21 mnth likes to call out 'hi, daddy!' to random strange men. I feel like I need to tell them "she knows who her daddy is and no, I'm not looking."

beingmammy Wed 26-Jun-13 21:38:21

My 2.5 year old son said as we were passing two middle aged women in the street 'there's all the sexy ladies' pointing at them! Haha he's obsessed with Gangnam Style...hmm

zulubump Wed 26-Jun-13 21:48:49

My ds (age 3) is obsessed with who has willies and who doesn't and is still convinced I have one hidden somewhere, despite my repeatedly telling him I don't. Every time we are in a public loo it's "you got willy mummy?". "No I don't have a willy". "Yes, you got willy mummy", "Isee you willy mummy?". Arrrgh!

Fantail Thu 27-Jun-13 09:27:28

DD in supermarket as we go past man offering wine for tasting, "you need wine Mummy." Statement, not a question.

tricksybaby200 Thu 27-Jun-13 13:49:57

Zulubump love it! My son also 3 also obsessed with willies has has said the following in public bathrooms and changing rooms..
Do you like my willy?
Look my willy!
You've not got a willy!
Daddy's willy is hairy! ( daddy not there at the time)
And my personal favourite he souted in a public toilet from a closed cubical...
Stop touching my willy!
( he was trying to pee standing up and it wasn't going in the bowl blush )

Still think yours is the best though Zulu ;)

Lawabidingmama Thu 27-Jun-13 20:17:45

MIL came round and we weren't in next time we saw her she said to DD1 who is 3 'nanny came to see you before I knocked on your door but no one answered' DD replied 'yeah we were just hiding!' I swear we werent!

Then in the cloak room at nursery in front of several other parents 'I didn't poo my nick nicks today mammy'!

blush

Iammrsbeckham Thu 27-Jun-13 23:32:28

2.8 DD very loudly in M&S "errgh, nanny smells. Nanny did a poo". I found it hilarious but my mum was a little embarrassed!

memphis83 Thu 27-Jun-13 23:47:23

'Mummy, is the doctor going to touch your boobies?' (Ds is obsessed with boobs atm)
'Mummy xxx has got a baby in tummy, you have cake in your tummy'
'Mummy, are you having a poo?' ( in a public toilet)
'Mummy, have you got a willy?' 'Nanny got a biiiiiig willy' (in coffee shop with my mum sitting waiting for us.

BotBotticelli Fri 28-Jun-13 12:46:57

Brilliant! This thread has made me nearly cry with laughter. DS1 is only 7 months old so I have all this to come.

beela Fri 28-Jun-13 16:58:18

DS (2.8) in swimming pool changing cubicle: 'you're very good at pulling your pants down Mummy'

erm... thanks.

Nerfmother Fri 28-Jun-13 17:02:55

Ds, 'is this the neighbour you didn't used to like mummy, but now you do? ' to me, as I politely made small talk with said neighbour.

TVTonight Fri 28-Jun-13 19:10:18

DD's friend (loudly to DD whilst on otherwise silent public transport): "Mummy, isn't my Daddy really big, really"
DD: Well my Daddy is ENORMOUS
Tram: bursts out laughing

LegArmpits Fri 28-Jun-13 19:20:13

DD (4) shouted really loudly in a busy queue in Waitrose "I did a GUFF.....in my FOOF." Followed by hysterical giggles.

NulliusInBlurba Fri 28-Jun-13 19:24:48

We'd just had a lovely lunch in a fairly naice restaurant in Florence. DD (then just turned 3) had behaved really quite well, been fussed over by the waiters etc. Then she goes to the loo with DH, comes out and SHRIEKS across the restaurant full of joy: 'Mummy I had a really big poo and a pee too!' I just shrivelled up and died.

I once had to have a long discussion with ds1, in the chemist's shop about why I wasn't going to show him the abscess on my boob that was the reason for the visit to the chemist (to collect the antibiotics the dr had prescribed).

Why is it that when your child says things like this, a shop/cafe etc that was empty, only nanoseconds before, suddenly fills up with people all grinning at your discomfiture?

thanksamillion Fri 28-Jun-13 19:33:02

I was trying on a dress in the changing rooms of a department store with DS who was then 4 in tow.

I made the mistake of asking what he thought <why?> to which he replied in the loudest voice he could muster 'it looks ridiculous Mummy'.

Cue someone in the next cubicle sniggering saying 'you won't be buying that then!'

superchick Fri 28-Jun-13 20:31:18

DD 23 months on a bus pointing to a large man "that big one" then every other person that got on the bus got categorised as "big one" or "little one" while I desperately tried to distract her.

sparkleshine Fri 28-Jun-13 20:52:44

DS 3.6 in morrisons toilets. A lady was in another cubicle and did a loud fart. Cue DS pointing it out. 'Mummy that lady did a trump, didn't she? I do trumps too'
I was so mortified (as I'm sure she was too) we stayed in our cubicle until she left.

ladypop Fri 28-Jun-13 21:52:19

This thread has given me a reason to laugh out loud - much needed at the mo! Thank you xx

Friend's DS asked why she was putting a mouse in her bottom in public loos whilst she was discretely changing a tampon. She was horrified and waited until everyone who could have possibly heard had left the loo before opening the door

Myliferocks Fri 28-Jun-13 22:00:57

When DD3 was 15 months we went to the beach for the day.
Two men walked past us who were every stereotype of a gay couple. They were immaculate, muscly and very very camp. I hate to stereotype people but they really were the typical stereotype.
DD3 went running after them shouting " Daddy, Daddy! "
They found it absolutely hilarious and the redder I went as I apologised, the more DD3 shouted and the more they laughed! blush

DIYandEatCake Sat 29-Jun-13 17:08:55

'Mummy got sore nipples' was today's public humiliation from dd (2.3). I'm pg again and have just about stopped breastfeeding dd, I foolishly told her it was sore one evening when I had to stop a feed early (it is, very!).

Last week it was lifting my skirt right up in the supermarket queue and shouting 'ooh, mummy got knickers on! Dd got knickers on too!'

Thingymajigs Sat 29-Jun-13 17:20:21

I met an old friend in a supermarket who I hadn't seen in 10 years. She bent down to say hello to my 3 year old ds who inexplicably replied with: "Hello. smile I have nits."
He didn't. hmm

Girl Mindee is going through a nudist phase at the minute, keeps loudly asking if anyone wants to see her bum-bum.

When I was about four, our car broke down in front of a thatched-roof cottage and the lady who lived there came out to offer my Dad the use of her phone. I asked her "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" In fairness to me, she was dressed all in black.

eatyourveg Sat 29-Jun-13 20:26:47

Midnight mass last year ds2 (16 ASD LD) rather too loudly "Mum why is it illegal to download porn but you don't get arrested for looking at it"

BabiesAreLikeBuses Sat 29-Jun-13 20:59:44

When dd was 3 in supermarket right next to v old lady: mummy why has that lady got such a sad face?
Old lady: she's right you know, my son died of cancer last yearand i haven't got over it
blush

also aged 2 in a taxi pointed to the driver and said: what colour's the man?

lougle Sat 29-Jun-13 21:16:15

The girls next door were playing with our DDs in our car while DH was clearing it out. One of them found a tampon that had fallen out of my bag. DD2 (5) exclaimed "Oh I know what that is! It's for my Mummy's bloodhole."

DD1 (7, SN) was in Sainsbury's today and said 'Oh look mummy, they's barrs they cover your boobies. Some are big, some are bigger, some are really big fat ones and some are teeeny weeeny tineeyy.'

At her special school there was a man getting some tennis equipment ready. She walked up to him and said 'why you use wheelchair?'. He said 'Oh I had an accident. The mesages don't get from my brain to my legs now.' She said 'Oh....why you got two hmm?' The tone of her voice was so accusatory! He was very gracious and told her that one was for everyday and the other was for sports. He's a paralympic tennis player blush

DD3 (4) 'Mummy, I like the one with the big fat tummy. She's kind to me.'

clippityclop Sat 29-Jun-13 21:24:23

In keeping with OP, in the park in front of about 25 friends/kids when my mate brought her back from a loo trip dd announced 'Don't worry mummy, Auntie Jenny's got a furry front bottom just like yours'.

issimma Sat 29-Jun-13 21:28:29

2.4 year old DD didn't say anything, but was in absolute hysterics at spotting a man with a beard. She's only ever seen one in books before and it really tickled her pink!

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