when should ds sleep through the night?(39 Posts)
hi, i have a 5 month old loveable ds during the day. by night he turns in to a monster. he started sleeping through the night at 3months and did so for 3 weeks since then hes been waking at least once and rising early (at 5am) surely he should be sleeping all the way through. hes formula fed on hungry baby milk. the health visitor has said he should go in his own room now and not to feed him at night. but that seems a little harsh. am i just being weak? as im back at work am starting to really feel shatterd now.
There is no should in children.
My dd only started sleeping through at about a year, and still doesn't always do so at 14 months.
Your HV's advice to put him in his own room goes against the guidance for preventing SIDS, so I would strongly question her judgement, to be honest.
My DS is 19 months and has slept through once (yup, 1 night only) in that time.
5 months is very little and there is, as tee said, no 'should' about it, you just have to go with the flow!
I do feel your pain - my DS was still up every 2 hours when I went back to work but I just tell myself that one day he will be a teenager and won't get up for love nor money!
Oh. and just fyi, they don't wake because they're hungry...
ds was 8 months before he slept through and was well established on solids by then. I would expect to still be doing a night feed at 5 months. The advice to put him in his own room is also questionable as that goes against Sids advice of keeping them in the same room for the first 6 months.
oops. forgot to qualify that. Unless they're newborn.
what do you mean makescakes ?
my DCs woke in the night because they were hungry, or thirsty.
Esp. at 5 months - that is still tiny.
at each developmental stage, a baby's brain goes through so much, its no wonder their sleep is affected! A bottle or boob is nice and soothing, and helps them get back to sleep.
Your baby is so very young, keep him close and listen to him. You really need to be following his lead.
OP, the early waking is very usual - really not much you can do about that.
so they only wake due to hunger when they are newborns? really?
My DD wasn't 100% guaranteed to sleep all night until she was 5 or 6 - years, not months.
Get used to it - it's par for the course for a long time yet!
How long is a piece of string?
Babies are so different, we could all say 'my DC slept through at X age' but it would give you no indication of when your baby will sleep through.
Personally I would ignore the HV and continue to feed as he's still so little. It may only be a comfort thing- but he's a small baby, IMO he has the right to be comforted if he is unhappy!
It's really normal for a 5 month old to wake early morning for a feed. Try not to get stressed about it and whatever you do don't stop feeding him! Iirc my DS didn't drop the early morning feed until quite a bit older than 5 months.
Why are you feeding hungry baby milk though? It's a con. You would be better off offering bigger quantities of regular milk. If he's hungry then he needs calories, not artificially thickened milk to fill up his tummy for longer.
DS2 is 3. He still wakes most nights! The other two started sleeping through around 7 months.
Don't want to worry you but DD1 didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 years and 10 months old. I had no end of flack about all the things I was doing wrong. DD2, who was treated exactly the same, slept through the night from 8 weeks. DD1 is now 23 and still seems to manage on about 4 hours sleep a night, DD2 is 20 and would sleep 20 hours a day given the opportunity.
You'll get a lot of replies with people saying their child didn't sleep through till they were an older toddler. I think that's simply because people reading Internet chats about sleep tend to be people whose babies don't sleep.
Remember this is a short term thing and will most likely be over in 3-5 months. Do you have a partner. When my baby got up ultra early I'd hand her over to her dad at 6:45-7am and grab another hour.
I think anything below 6-7 months is too early to night wean but would be perfectly okay to give a late bottle as you went to bed and then again at 5. My baby was breast fed and at that age our rule was when she first wakes up and after 5 (otherwise would get up hourly),
Honestly this will be over before you know it.
Rose by 5 months they may well wake for comfort but not hunger. they've done studies on babies who are fed by ngt so never get hungry and they woke no less (or more) than other babies.
makescakeswhenstressed I don't think you can conclude from that study that young babies who wake in the night are not hungry.
I didn't conclude. I am quoting doctors who concluded. If I get a chance I'll link to the research
thanks for your replies. he will be staying put in our bedroom for sure and i'll just ride it out until hes no longer waking and needing a feed or cuddle.
I tend to agree that 5 month olds don't wake in the night out of hunger. They don't need feeding at night by this age. I'd say they wake out of routine, for comfort or some other reason. The research I've read says that by 5-6 months a baby is physiologically (spelt wrong ?! ) capable of sleeping through the night. They don't need the food, doesn't mean they don't want it though! Lol so not much help to you! Although if you want to refuse night time feeds in the hope he'll stop waking when he realises he doesn't get fed, you don't have to feel bad about it. It's not like starving a newborn who needs night feeds! The Hv sounds a little harsh in her advice, but fundamentally she's right; babies so easily get dependent on night feeds for comfort, routine etc. and the longer it goes on for the harder the behaviour is to break.
Really seb a little hash don't you think. Do you go 12 hours every night without a drink or feeling thirsty?
I think that's a lot to ask of a 5 month old. I send my 6 year old to bed with a cup off water or sometimes she'd have me up in the night asking for a drink. I wouldn't say that's was out of comfort either she's just thirsty. Would it be ok for me to refuse her water?
I think we expect to much of tiny babies and just because some are able to sleep through the night doesn't mean they all are. We are all different. I'd say if she won't go back to sleep without it then she still needs it.
Ds was 2 1/2. They are all different
Don't think it's harsh no. I don't have a drink at night no, I sleep all night and have a drink in the morning. Children waking for water in the night is mostly routine as well. Not saying there's anything wrong with that, if you don't mind getting up making drinks during the night. Children don't need it though IMO. It's something that when you start doing is hard to stop, it becomes a learned behaviour like anything else. If op is keen to get her baby sleeping through the night, it's perfectly possible and ok to not give any milk/water during the night. If she's not, then perfectly ok to continue giving milk/water. Just saying that the longer babies continue to feed/drink during the night the harder the habit is to break. For most babies that is... I've done sleep support nannying and have known 3-4 year olds still waking to have water or milk and often cuddles from mum several times a night. If left this long it can be an incredibly difficult routine to break.
DD1 went through from about the 4 month mark (with a dream feed at 10/11ish she'd go through to 6.30am, we cut the dream feed gradually around 8/9 months as we felt it was becoming a case of, "well, if you're offering it would be rude not to accept" rather than need - she didn't get bothered by it not happening).
DD2 - seems to be getting close at 14 weeks - I reckon probably another month or so till that night feed goes fully - it's dropped right down in amount and it's got later and later so she's trying to stop it but just not there fully yet (I don't think the summer and light at stupid AM helps either - I think that wakes her slightly and then she feels like she should get a feed and snuggle because she's awake!)
Could it be the 4 month sleep regression's hit a bit late?
My ds slept through after 9 months and dd after 11. The period around 4/5 months seems to get worse for developmental reasons.
It will get better but it is tedious waiting.
Ds1,2 and 3 were all getting on for 2 before they slept through the night. Ds3 2.4 still occasionally wakes up, especially if he's had a nap in the day.
Ds4 has slept through since 8 weeks. He goes at least 8 hours, sometimes 10. They are all different
I think a 5 mth can wake up due to hunger especially if they maybe haven't fed well during the day. My LO sometimes sleeps through but it tends to be when he has fed well at his day feeds. If he has less during the day, he tends to wake about 3 or 4 for 7 oz and he takes it in 5 mins and then quite happily settles back to sleep. He is 5 and a half months.
I don't think he would take his milk if he wasn't hungry?
Trust your instincts and feed your LO if you feel that is what they need.
Good luck x
DS is 2.1 and has never slept through the night.
I agree with the HV actually, I'd put him in his own room. You being next to him could well be disturbing him and giving him an incentive to wake.
Meh, guidelines. I wouldn't get too het up about a month's difference on the guidelines, 5 months, 6 months, what's the difference? I presume you're not smoking or drinking to excess around him, or taking drugs, or sleeping with him on the couch or co-sleeping without a side cot? No? So you're pretty safe from SIDS, I'd say!
I'd also start to offer basic solids (stuff the guidelines on that too. Five months is old enough if he's lost the tongue thrust reflex and if you think he's waking coz he's hungry). Are you doing a dreamfeed (ie a feed at 10.30ish before you go to bed yourself)?
FWIW, both my babies were Baby Whisperer routine babies and had structured daytime naps and feeds established by 2-3 weeks old. yet, they were different in terms of sleeping behaviour:
DD1 was about 3 months when she slept through the night
DD2 was 11 months (was waking up once around 1-2am for a bf from 3 months to 11 months)
Sure he's not too cold/too hot at night? you can check by putting your finger down the back of his neck to see if he feels hot, clammy or cold.
Firstly can we quantify what is meant by 'sleeping through'. I never dream fed my two and they went down at 7, they both woke up starving once in the night (the downing of 8oz by that age being evidence of their hunger!). Dd1 woke up hungry till 9 months, dd2 till 6 months when weaning properly kicked in. Dd1 was less good at taking milk in the day though. My advice is dont mess arpind with weaning, introduce stuff thats filling straight on 6 months. They can eat at that age pretty much anything you do!
If we are saying a five month old should sleep for 11 hours that is nonsense, however.
Lololol my 4.5month twins are waking 5 or 6 times a night EACH. Be grateful. <wanders off in a sleep deprived haze>
Sleeping through for me is going to sleep at 10-11 and waking about 5-6 I'm happy with 8 hours!
DD1 slept for a good while, 7/8pm with a 10pm dream feed until about 6/7 from about your LO's age I think. We hasn't done anything different or new, they just do it when they're ready. 5 months seems very little to be refusing to feed him in the night. When we got to 3 years old and were still having to issue a banana every night at 10pm enough was enough!
When should a baby sleep through the night?
Well I can conclusively say that, according to the unwritten and only whispered rules of babies, round about the one night you've got a cold/mind full of decisions to make/party next door and this cannot take advantage of the blissful nights sleep.
You will then be sentenced to weeks of forensically analysing what you did that day and night and repeating it ad infinitum in case it gives you another one of those nights.
Babies are sneaky!!
Or the alternative answer of five months is so little. People will promise you results if you follow a routine/don't follow a routine/dance naked by midnight. But each baby is different.
In a blink of an eye your son will be hanging around on street corners and mumbling one word answers to you and you will long for the days when he woke in the night and really needed you, whether it was for food or cuddles or any reason.
It's your choice what you do but I'd try not to stress too much about it
I think you'd probably be fairly lucky to get an unweaned baby to go 10-12 hours without milk.
By 9 months most can go through the night without milk if they're feeding/eating enough in the day.
Going through the night without a feed is NOT the same as going through the night without needing any attention though!
Ds4 has slept at least 8 hours a night from 8 weeks old and the only differences compared to his brothers are he has never slept for long periods in the day, not even as a newborn and he is breastfed.
I think it's just luck, although I did say I was due a good sleeper!
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