When did you put baby in own room?

(77 Posts)
NobbyD Mon 13-May-13 21:41:19

Just wanted to check what others have done re putting baby in own room.

Ds2 is now 8 weeks and am experimenting tonight with him in his own room. I know recommendation is 6months hence me asking you all what you did.

When I had ds1 we lived in 1 bed house til he was 18months and he was terrible sleeper and even worse when he got own room in new house as was used to us so didn't want same thing happening with ds2 but is this too early??

Plus am doing it to get dh back in bed as he currently sleeps on sofa to avoid the noisy night time feeds so thought if I do them in ds2 room he won't be so disturbed.

Guess I'm looking for reassurance that its ok!

andrews81 Mon 13-May-13 21:44:43

First was in his own room at 8 weeks, second 9 weeks smile

Smudging Mon 13-May-13 21:48:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

00anais00 Mon 13-May-13 21:52:36

hi there, my twins went in their own room when they were 2 weeks-morden house and our bedroom wouldnt take 2 cots... but it was the best thing- you wont hear every little wimper and you wont disturb them... theyre nearly 2 and sleep really well now 7-7.30ish i often wonder if it wouldve been different with just one smile

NobbyD Mon 13-May-13 21:56:12

Should mention i do have the angel monitor on for reassurance of movement/breathing!

We had DD in a bedside crib (I think this was the kind that's also described as a 'co-sleeper'). She used to push up to the head end with her legs, I used to have to move her back about 4 times every night as she would have her head jammed against the bars & start screaming. We put her in cot bed in her own room at 4 months, & voila! Slept through almost every night since.

Springforward Mon 13-May-13 22:03:34

26 weeks. I am a rule-following kind of mum.

stowsettler Mon 13-May-13 22:07:50

4 weeks. She's much happier and so are we. There's a bed in her room for one of us to sleep in with her if she's poorly or something.

Messandmayhem Mon 13-May-13 22:17:14

DS was in our room till 1yr, DD just moved to her own room at 20 months.

Snazzynewyear Mon 13-May-13 22:18:20

8 months.

MrsOakenshield Mon 13-May-13 22:22:43

6 months. I did the night-time feeds in her room before then as I found it uncomfortable to feed in bed, so it didn't disturb DH. I couldn't imagine not having her in our room to begin with, but come 6 months I couldn't wait to move her, she could be a very noisy (if sound) sleeper!

blondiep14 Mon 13-May-13 22:23:23

DC1 was 9 months,
DC2 went in with DC1 at 8 months.
DC3 is 7 months and still in with us curently.
Personally it's one of the rules I follow.

PoppyAmex Portugal Mon 13-May-13 22:24:20

She's 13 months and still in our room, but I definitely wouldn't have moved her before 6 months as I'd be far too worried to sleep.

gwenniebee Mon 13-May-13 22:29:12

My dd is ten months and still in our room. This is partly because she still wakes in the night and I can't be bothered to trek all the way (about two metres blush) into her room. It's also because there was no way I would have moved her out before 6 months as I was too anxious about SIDS, and now also because I am a massive softy and I would miss her.

adagio Mon 13-May-13 22:33:05

DD is coming up for five months, still in moses in our room and I am dreading having to move her to her own room, which I will do when she outgrows moses (it won't be long). She still feeds in the night, and currently that means I fish her out of moses and we do a lying down feed - and often doze off together. DH is sleeping on the futon in the other room as he has to work so we have the king size bed to ourselves and it's lush smile

Waking up together and that amazing smile as her eyes focus on me….ahhhh it is truly amazing grin. Plus I know it won't be for long so I really appreciate it.

Andcake Tue 14-May-13 08:12:01

8 mo still with us as it was easier than going back and forth when we tried. But like other say would you really feel comfortable moving them before 6 months - if something did happen would you be able to cope knowing you hadn't followed the guidelines! That's just how I feel.

lollipoppi Tue 14-May-13 08:40:02

Ds1 was 7wks and DD2 was 10wks
First night they went in their own room they slept through
I do have an angel care movement monitor in there.

Quidgetmidget Tue 14-May-13 09:03:13

Dd (pfb) was moved into her own room 2 weeks ago when she was 13 weeks. Writing it down makes it feel like she was really young but she dropped her night feeds at 8 weeks and her dad and I are up and about before she wakes in the morning, so we were just disturbing her and making her ratty.

She is also a massive wriggler/kicker when asleep and has actually bruised her feet from kicking so hard, this way she has the room she needs to sleep peacefully. If she's not crying out from hurting herself she doesn't make a peep until you hear her babbling in the morning.

Being slightly controversial, I'm find it interesting that the guidelines state 6 months as a minimum length for breastfeeding and when to move baby into their own room.

DS moved at 3 months when he outgrew the Moses basket and there was no space for a cot in our bedroom.
DD1 was 7 months as there was no cot for her until we bought a toddler bed for DS, and we co slept as she would only sleep on her side or front and screamed blue murder in the Moses basket (and also in the 'fishtank' in the hospital)
DD2 is only 4 weeks and she sleeps in the Moses basket or co sleeps with me. She was 2.5lbs lighter than DD1 so will be in the Moses basket as long as possible.

WouldBeHarrietVane Tue 14-May-13 09:14:44

Wouldn't do it until after 6 months as the sids risk definitely is increased

HerrenaHarridan Tue 14-May-13 09:20:35

It's a bit hazy here tbh, she started going to bed in her own room at 5 months. I would fed to sleep on a futon and then roll away and leave her to it, come back in and dream feed before I went to bed in my room, however when she next woke for a feed I just got in with her a stayed there.
By 8 months she was in her cot and being picked up, fed and put back for the 11, 1, and 4 o clock feed but then between 6-7 when she woke up I brought he into my bed for her breakfast.
She no longer bfs but she still comes into my bed when she wakes 6-7 for a snuggle and to watch octonauts on my phone while I wake up as a single parent that's the only way I get a lie in.

I don't know if its helpful to say that if you don't follow the current guide lines you will feel worse if you baby dies, lets face it you are going to feel fucking horrendous if the worst happens even if you have some how followed ever piece of conflicting advice you were ever given

both mine were about 7/8 months as I wanted to keep the in with us for at least 6 months. The problem with moving them is that they do sleep more soundly but that is one of the risk factors for SIDS. There is no evidence that breathing/movement monitors help prevent cot death and they can give a false sense of security so we didnt use one.

atrcts Tue 14-May-13 09:27:20

Having read that it's no just about hearing your baby breathing in the night, but more about the baby hearing YOU breathing overnight (and therefore falling into the same rhythm which apparently can prevent them from stopping breathing), I wanted to stick by the guidelines of 6 months because I knew I would never forgive myself if anything happened just because I'd decided to make up my own rules (based on no evidence!).

However there were two parents living in the house and hubby would noisily roll over in bed, waking up the baby, and the baby would gurgle and snort like a little piggy waking up his Daddy. I used to lie in bed between them hardly daring to breathe - watching them wake each other up all night! shock

In the end Hubby begged for baby to go into his own room a bit early, so I conceded at 5 months and it worked out ok, but I know that doesn't mean everyone else would be ok too (it's a bit like a Mum smoking in pregnancy - which i hasten to add was not me!- and then gives birth to a healthy baby; its lucky but absolutely not guaranteed for everyone!) and I wouldn't want anyone to think just because we were ok moving him out at 5 months that everyone else automatically would be too blush

TigerSwallowTail Tue 14-May-13 09:30:21

DS stopped night feeds at about 8 weeks and was in his own room at about 4 months.

I agree herrena, breastfeeding also lowers the risk of SIDS but if a woman didn't breastfeed you wouldn't say she'd feel worse because of it if her baby died.

beckslovestimmy Tue 14-May-13 16:11:06

In her own room at 7weeks here with the angel care monitor. I put her on her back at the bottom of her cot, I put her in a grobag and she has a dummy(this apparently reduces the risk of SIDS too) she stopped her night feed early too and sleeps through 8.30-8. You have to do whats right for you and what you feel comfortable with.

IAteTheCake Tue 14-May-13 16:15:10

13 weeks...

lilystem Tue 14-May-13 16:21:53

My pfb ds is 13 wks and has been in his own room since 10 wks. He sleeps through from 9-5.

Seb101 Tue 14-May-13 17:20:53

My baby in own room from 2 weeks! We all sleep better that way. We have moment monitor: so no sids concern. She slept through the night from 8 weeks, 7-7, with a dream feed for a while. She's always been a brilliant sleeper, and I attribute a lot of this to being undistrubed in her room. Please don't feel guilty about putting your baby in own room. Go buy a movement monitor and enjoy having your room back!

Loubyloulou88 Tue 14-May-13 20:01:49

Ds went into his own room at 11 weeks due to growing out of his Moses basket and we have no room for his cot bed in our bedroom. We have his monitor on and seems to work well. Just do what feels right to you.

LedaOfSparta Tue 14-May-13 20:07:35

Last week at 8 months.

I miss her snuffly fatness next to me but she is sleeping better.

SaigonSaigon Tue 14-May-13 20:07:51

6 weeks as I was exhausted and every single noise and grunt (and there was a lot of noise) from the little chap woke me. I do attribute it to how he became a good sleeper in general, but really, I don't know it's because of that. You just have to do what's right for you.

Four months, but I didn't appreciate at that point the thinking behind the SIDS guidelines - that the baby ought to have a presence in the room to hep it regulate its sleep. So if I had the time over, I'd wait, and I'd also put more effort into having the baby in the same room as me for naps.

DH slept with me and when she was in with us, I would take her out of the room for feeds. I tried feeding quietly in our room, but it suited me better to just carry her out and do it noisily in another room.

stargirl1701 Tue 14-May-13 20:10:03

27 weeks. She never slept, including naps, in a different room from a parent until 26 weeks.

knackeredmother Tue 14-May-13 20:50:53

Dd at 2 years old when ds came along (along with dh). Ds still in with me at 3 and a half. Co sleeping attachment parenting and proud! It's took me a long time to say that as there is so much pressure to move dc into their own rooms and little cultural support for those parents and children that want to hang on a bit longer.

NobbyD Tue 14-May-13 21:10:11

Thank you everyone who has commented. I feel relieved there are others out there who did early own room too but also guilty and confused over those who talk sids risk factors.

Did all last night with ds2 in own room. He slept much the same as if he was in with me (2 night feeds, one quick and down at 12 and then one longer drawn out feed with poo to boot at 3.30).

I however did not sleep so well through fear, anxiety, guilt etc etc! So I guess tonight I am choosing whether I want to sleep with dh back or ds2!

Hadassah Tue 14-May-13 21:12:57

From the outset, aged 1 day, with no monitors or anything like that.

Lawabidingmama Tue 14-May-13 21:17:48

DD1 6 months DD2 7/8 months I never understand why people do it earlier.

lizabeth0607 Sun 19-May-13 19:47:17

My daughter went into her own room at 6 months, wouldn't have done it any earlier as I was worried sick about SIDS and couldn't afford a really flash expensive monitor. smile

ENSMUM Sun 19-May-13 20:00:59

DD at just over 6 months. DS is now 6.5 m and still in our room, but only because we haven't yet sorted a room for him to move to! Started letting him nap on own and go to bed before us around 5 months. Def wouldn't have them out of our room overnight before 6 months.

DS does seem to sleep better before we come to bed, but I think them going into deeper sleep when on own is the reason for the aids guidance and just couldn't bring myself to risk it, despite being desperate for more sleep!

ENSMUM Sun 19-May-13 20:04:31

Also, as far as I understand it, although not sure where the data is, research has shown no evidence of movement monitors reducing SIDS risk. Think they are a marketing ploy to deplore expensive equipment to concerned parents, playing on their anxiety.

Ps phone changed SIDS to aids in my post above. Pretty sure aids isn't caught by sleeping alone!

frissonpink Sun 19-May-13 20:09:18

8 weeks.

Thurlow Sun 19-May-13 20:10:19

About 7 or 8 weeks. Everyone was struggling to sleep well, so we experimented.

Re SIDS guidelines all you can do is read all the guidance that is out there about sleeping near someone, sleeping on their back, cool rooms etc and decide where you stand on the various risk factors. They are guidelines, not laws, after all, and you make your own informed decision as you do with all other aspects of raising and caring for your child.

You won't be the first mum to do it, definitely not. But it isn't a popular decision - interestingly, it is much more criticised here on MN than I've found it is in RL.

ENSMUM Sun 19-May-13 20:16:13

I would never openly criticize others parenting decisions in real life, to the extent that I tend to keep quiet about my own if I know they are different to avoid offence.
Not that I want to ctitisize on here either, but I will explain my reasoning for my choice.
Is this why people feel there is more criticism on here than in RL?

6 months, wasn't willing to take a risk.

Thurlow Sun 19-May-13 20:23:22

Personally I find some threads on MN much more critical than a RL conversation would be. Not this one, I was just sharing a general opinion. IME, moving a baby in to their own room before 6 months is in the same category as chosing to formula feed before birth, parenting decisions which are sometimes extremely criticised on here.

ENSMUM Sun 19-May-13 20:35:17

Haha, now that is one I actually did discuss in RL recently, albeit with a friend with same view as me. Would be a bit off topic to go into it here now though

Hobblethwaite Sun 19-May-13 20:42:43

17 months and still in with me, I have the cot attached to our bed with one side off. Can't imagine moving her just yet.

We all have our space and sleep really well. Nothing nicer than waking up to my dd. smile

Justneedhelp Sun 19-May-13 23:01:30

I put my daughter into her own room at 20weeks, which was the time I stooped breast feeding due to a lack of milk sad as well as her going from Moses basket to cot.

Tubemole1 Sun 19-May-13 23:34:45

Six months, but really 2 months because she was 8 weeks early.

She kept waking us up, we kept waking her up, so we gave up and she went in her moses basket on the floor of her room. We had a baby monitor with a low volume in our room in case. At seven months, she started sleeping thru!!

We were well aware of SIDS advice as it was rammed down r throats whilst baby was in SCBU, but really, it is down to the family and what they works for them. It really is trial and error.

Tubemole1 Sun 19-May-13 23:38:26

Doh! I meant six months but really four months. can't count

fortyplus Sun 19-May-13 23:41:59

The guidance is 6 months. Very few babies die of cot death but I was a paranoid mum not prepared to face the 'what ifs' if anything happened - I couldn't have forgiven myself

Iwaswatchingthat Sun 19-May-13 23:46:40

Dd1 7 months
Dd2 8 months

We moved furniture out to fit the cot in.
It was an easy rule to follow. I read that newborns need to hear their parent/s breathing to keep regulating their own breathing - hence safer in shared room.

HomageToCannelloni Sun 19-May-13 23:47:51

Dd was 3.5....years....(glances over at DS, who was three last month and is still 'in with us'. Gets coat, closes door behind herself.) smile

ditsydoll Mon 20-May-13 22:48:13

Dd was about 2.5 years when we put her in her own room but if she ever needs me or wants a night with us I'm quite laid back about it.
She's 4 now and most nights she sleeps 7-7 in her own bed. The odd night she will ask if she can sleep with me and I don't mind as I do love a good cuddle.
Due with dc2 in 5 days and will probably just see how it goes again.
I wouldn't before 6 months personally, but for me it was easier to have dd in with meso I could breastfeed.
You just have to do what works for you and your family.

YouMaySayImADreamer Tue 21-May-13 17:16:36

My ds is 3.5 months and i intend to wait until at least 6 months because of the SIDs risk. DS outgrew his moses at 8wks and his cot wouldnt fit in our bedroom so he now sleeps in a travel cot.

Having said this, we did start putting him to bed upstairs in our room a couple of hours before us at 9 weeks because he wouldnt fall asleep in the noise downstairs. (Although we are currently debating bringing him back down due to him decided he doesnt want to be up there on his own anymore and considering SIDs risks).

Willdoitinaminute Tue 21-May-13 20:22:12

Your baby ,your choice. Go with your instinct and if putting him in his own room feels wrong then just move him back. My DS co slept until he was 4 yrs old. But not in our bed until he was 7mnths old. We all had a good nights rest. In fact when he was very ill with chicken pox at 2 yrs old it was a real shock to the system having disturbed sleep for the first time.

Because I would wake when he started to stir for a feed he would never cry at night. It is very important for attachment that a baby knows you are there when they need you during their first year.

We never planned to co sleep. It just felt right for us. DS was prem and had problems at birth. We just slept better when we could hear him breathing.

colafrosties Tue 21-May-13 20:35:35

DS was 2.5 yrs - we were going to move him a lot earlier but kind of liked having him around (and the room we planned for him to go in was getting more and more full of junk!) When he did finally move to his own room, he was quite happy to be moving and we didn't really have any disruption.

LittleMissLucy Wed 22-May-13 01:51:10

DS - at 3 wks (he was a noisy sleeper)
DD - at 4 months (she wasn't)

Mich100 Wed 22-May-13 08:21:43

4 weeks. He was noisy, we were noisy and disturbance all round. Slept really well since. He is 19 months old now and averages about 12 hours sleep every night with the odd disruption if he has a cold or teething. Wonderful! grin

DS1- 4 years
DS2- He's only 11 months so no time soon.

curiousgeorgie Wed 22-May-13 09:26:17

I didn't move DD into her room until she was 1 and had outgrown her crib. If I could have fit her cot bed in my room I would have kept her in there longer... But then she was a completely sound sleeper and slept through from about 7 weeks so it was easy. I just loved waking up in the night and seeing her there next to me.

Expecting DD2 and will keep her in for as long as possible too...

34at32 Wed 22-May-13 19:59:53

DS went into his own room at about 4mo as he out grew his Moses basket.

He also rolls onto his front in the cot which was initially terrifying due to the guidance that they should sleep on their back but he persistently rolls over and he is such a loud snorer (like father like son!), I can hear him down the hall anyway.

I think if you are happy with it, then the time is right....Trust your motherly instinct.

The guidance changes every few years about so many aspects of child care....my mother was advised to put my older bro on his front and then me on my back, just 2 yrs later!

louisoscar Sun 26-May-13 22:07:25

What I don't understand is how lo can hear you breathing if cot is at end of the bed? Surely they can only hear you if you are cosleeping which we have now been told leads to a higher instance of SIDS...

Was planning to move 10 week old dd to her own cot tomorrow night but not sure now. Problem is once you have read a thread like this it is hard not to feel guilty if you do make a different decision and therefore harder to follow your motherly instincts!

PinkPepper Sun 26-May-13 22:11:18

about 8 months, couldn't be bothered to go get him to feed and SIDS is about them hearing you breath not the other way round. If he wakes and won't settle we bring him into our bed though

Whatalotofpiffle Sun 26-May-13 22:48:34

7 months

BabiesAreLikeBuses Sun 26-May-13 23:44:30

Moved dt2 out at 4 months, dt1 was preventing all of us from sleeping... She slept much better and did 10-11h nights from then. 5 yrs ago we weren't told to keep them in with us til 6 months, hv approved the decision... But we followed rest of guidance, slept on a wedge at end of cot in a grobag

Jayne266 Mon 27-May-13 00:31:08

DS 7 months

AmberLav Mon 27-May-13 06:26:42

We did follow the guidance with DS, but I have been pondering this in light of last weeks co sleeping warning- does anyone know the stats on how many cot deaths actually happen in a cot?

My only experience of SIDS happened on a sofa - a friend of mine with a baby a similar age to DS, and it was absolutely horrible, but I slightly class that as a horrendous accident with an exhausted parent.

I believe that everyone needs to look at their own situation and make a decision for themselves, rather than blindly following guidance, partly as noisy babies can lead to exhausted parents which can lead to other problems.

Oh, and I remember reading that a loud ticking clock can help in baby's room.

MortifiedAdams Mon 27-May-13 06:32:19

Are you bfing? Only ask as I would be pretty miffed at my DH getting every night off to sleep through while I was waking twice.

Anyways - 5months here. As soon as we had a week of 7am-7pm, in she went. There was no way I was getting up and traipsing room to room at every feed!

cheekyginger Mon 27-May-13 21:47:56

Hi NobbyD,

Our DS was in his own room at 10 weeks as my hubby is a really light sleeper. I bought one of the sensor monitor thingys for peace of mind. I completely understand regarding the risk of SIDS, but im quite a sound sleeper and wouldnt have heard him if he had stopped breathing even if he was right next to me. I nought a tommee tippee one and it was brilliant. will def use it with number 2.

As long as the mattress fits his cot properly (no gabs he could get wedged down) and no extra bedding etc.
The "back to bed" campaign has helped reduce the number of cot death. Always put your wee one down on their back. Dummys help reduce the risk of SIDS.

And most importantly if you and your DH are happy to put him in his own room then go for it.

oscarwilde Tue 28-May-13 11:23:55

DD1 at 8 weeks - hated her moses basket and slept really well in a proper cot plus was into the next door bedroom so about 7 feet away. 3 months with DD2 [she slept better in the moses basket, new house so the bedroom was much further away and also hadn't booted DD1 into a proper bed yet]

jgjgjg Wed 29-May-13 14:16:32

2 weeks for the eldest, 6 days for the youngest. I just cannot sleep with a baby in the same room.

My decision, I looked at all the evidence and decided that since we had no other high risk factors for SIDS, I felt comfortable with it. But it's a very individual decision.

Wallabyone Fri 31-May-13 13:12:23

Our son is one and he's still in with us-he is a very restless sleeper and we're stil bf so it's more convenient.

CarpeVinum Fri 31-May-13 13:17:54

Well he was 6 years old by the time we put him in his own room and he actually stayed in it.

By that time I was begining to get worried that I'd have to sleep with sharp knees and elbows digging in to me until he left home.

But one night, magically, and for the first time ever, he fell asleep, stayed asleep and didn't wake up til the morning. Hallefuckingluyah!!

I gave birth to a true insomniac.

I say go with what pleases you best, but don't fall over with shock if your child turns out to have a strong opinion of their own on the matter.

Em2121 Fri 31-May-13 13:24:59

10 days, both of them shock. We are all really light sleepers, and kept waking each other up.

Splatt34 Fri 31-May-13 17:44:22

Does anyone know, is the reduced SIDS risk related to adults waking if they stop breathing or baby continuing to breath because they can hear others in the room breathing?

I ask because
1. I am a really deep sleeper & not sure DD not breathing would wake me
2. when she moves from our room she will be sharing with DD1 - so not on her own as such

tumbletumble Fri 31-May-13 19:21:02

Mine were in their own room from day 1.

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