I feel guilty my 17 month old loves tv so much

(76 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Mon 17-Dec-12 22:28:28

I feel so guilty about this and don't have a go at me all at once lol but my dd loves watch tv. Mainly peppa pig and Ben and holly. I try and make sure we r out once a day but I'm 32 weeks pregn and starting to feel rather tired now. My friends say don't worry it's fine but I can't help feeling bad especially when my dd has a massive tantrum after I switch her programme off. It's not all day she watches it but a bit in the morning and afternoon. My dp puts her programmes on for her all the time, even when I ask him to play with her. I feel like I'm going to loose sleep over this. I've got so many things to worry about with her, not sleeping through, not eating too well and now telly addiction :s if I don't have it on she sits by the gate to the kitchen and screams whilst I'm making a coffee or something like that. This evening I even read her favourite book 20 times (litreally!!) so she wouldbt watch tv. Lol am I really doing a bad thing by letting her watch tv. Please tell me it's not that bad :/

ellee Mon 17-Dec-12 22:57:21

Arra I don't think it's that bad, mine used to love ben & holly and peppa pig. I quite like em myself! Love the fish that doesn't talk "cause he's a fish" on pp, tee hee, makes me laugh smile. V hard to keep it all going with no tv, fair play to those who manage it but I'm afraid I'm not that mum! I do watch the shows with them a bit, talk about what's happeneing etc but sometimes I just have a coffee.

You could vary it a bit, I got a dvd of songs on amazon and my two really like that too.

By the way I think v fe toddlers eat that well. All you can do is offer the food and cut out snacks. After that, it's up to them.

Sleeping is harder, how old are we talking? How bad is it?

doughnut44 Mon 17-Dec-12 23:20:41

Don't feel guilty - they learn a lot from the tv. I try to make sure its turned off when they are playing - no need for background noise.
Also try not to let her watch the same things over and over - yes they do like the repetition but they also need new things for stimulation.
How about doing some tv programme related things? Print some peppa pig pics off the milkshake website - will she play with figures and re-enact what she has seen? The comics are really good too and sticker books

ZuleikaD Tue 18-Dec-12 12:31:24

Of course she loves it. Turn it off - she doesn't need it.

Satine5 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:35:16

It seems like you feel like you are loosing control over her tv watching. How about having a planned daily limit and sticking to it, despite protests? Your DD will soon get used to it if she know, e.g. she can watch one episode of peppa, one ben and holly etc. I ditto doughnut44, figures and stickers etc all the way. My DD loves playing with ITNG toys, she makes up stories with them, reads them books etc-very cute! TV is not all that bad, but I think limiting it a bit will make you feel better. Good luck!

Satine5 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:36:52

BTW, my DD still doesn't sleep through at 16 months, I feel your pain! shock

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:39:06

It's easier said than done in fairness zuleikaD she is going through a very clingy phase which she never went through before and cries everytime I go into the kitchen to cook dinner etc. ever tried cooking dinner with toddler screaming whilst rig 32 weeks pregnant and not breaking down crying? Well if u have then u r super mum! Lol I really do admire the mums than can do it all and have no tv but I just can't do it. I have to be able to sit down and chill for five mins.
I definitely like the idea of doing the stickers and drawings of the characters. My dd doesn't really like colouring or painting. Any ideas on how I can get her interested in it?
I do feel better now u guys have kindly replied and said its not that bad. I was pretty worried but it's not all day, it's just when we aren't doing anything and she doesn't want to play. She has started walking so we can finally do some playing in the garden (got the waterproofs out ha ha).

Pleasenomorepeppa Tue 18-Dec-12 12:41:36

Don't worry. We own a TV, DH & I watch TV, DD watches TV. It's not on all the time.
She enjoys reading, craft, cooking, helping me & playing too!
My rule is that we have it on if we're watching it, not as a background noise.
DD hardly ever asks for it on now, she's 3.7!
If you're worried & your LO moans to have it on, maybe try to do some activities away from the room with the TV in?
She's not too little to be given a duster & asked to help Mummy. I've always found that a good distraction grin.
Cut yourself some slack, I'm 37 weeks pg & I'm happy to put it on & put my feet up to entertain me, nevermind DD!!

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 12:44:35

Oh feel your pain. It is so hard when pregnant with a toddler. My bigger ones have always ended up watching too much TV when I was in the final weeks of pregnancy and then when the baby was tiny. I felt bad but I knew we could get over it later.

When it came to getting over it we went cold turkey. Cold turkey was the only way. I unplugged the TV at the socket so when they pushed the button nothing happened. The first day is painful but after 2 days they forget about it and after a little while you can reintroduce it.

I found recording stuff best if you can do that then when it gets to the end it just stops with a blank screen rather than starting the next programme and resulting in a tantrum when you switch it off.

Don't feel too bad though, you will most likely rely on TV when feeding the baby for a few weeks.

Satine5 Tue 18-Dec-12 12:45:30

Try aquadoodle for painting-no mess and she will get into it quckly! I often just sit and draw for DD and she enjoys it too smile.
Id she likes stickers, get her a peppa sticker/magnet magazine or book
http://www.whsmith.co.uk/Products/Peppa-Pig-Marvellous-Magnet-Book-Peppa-Pig+Board-book+9781409301769

I hate to sound a negative note and I do understand how difficult it must be but there are studies showing that when under 3's watch lots of TV it can have a negative effect on their development www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/oct/09/ban-under-threes-watching-television

Can you gradually reduce the times she spends watching until it is only being watched at absolutely critical times ( like when cooking evening meal). Can you do a few exciting pre-Christmas activities to distract her in the mornings. With a young child it shouldn't take too long to break the pattern so that she no longer expects to watch as much TV.

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:03:12

I've just read the article u have posted and although I understand I'm not sure i completely agree with it. My dd doesn't sit their and watch it for the whole day she watches a few episodes and then hands me her favourite book to read or something like that.
In regards to craft. We do crafts at the play group we go to and my dd doesn't want to know. I end up doing and she takes the credit ;) she seems just to want to eat the crayons or paint etc so how can I encourage her and help her understand how to do it. I tried drawing Christmas pictures and she walked off and I ended up enjoying it and drew quite a few pics lol. I thought perhaps make gingerbread and let her cut it out but I just can't see it happening. Is it too much for a 17 month old?

givemeaclue Tue 18-Dec-12 13:07:39

How much time daily all together does she watch it?

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Tue 18-Dec-12 13:13:15

I think you're right to be worried about such a young toddler watching so much television.

If you're struggling to cook and look after her, batch cook so that you have only to heat things up while she is demanding your attention.

She really shouldn't be watching TV at all at her age. Certainly not several times a day, every day.

Abra1d Tue 18-Dec-12 13:16:21

Both mine liked television, especially my eldest. He must have watched several hours a day as a toddler.

He is now, aged 16, a bookworm. Very keen on ancient history. Studying Latin at school. Also keen on sport and loves nothing better than a big family get-together.

I wouldn't be too worried. In the article linked to, it also says of the man whose research this is:

"Aric Sigman does not appear to have any academic or clinical position, or to have done any original research on this topic," she said. "His comments about impact of screen time on brain development and empathy seem speculative in my opinion, and the arguments that he makes could equally well be used to conclude that children should not read books."

Don't feel too bad, I have been there, but I found I had to be very creative to avoid putting the TV on. MIne have a little TV in the morning before breakfast, and a little at quiet time. I had 17 months between my first two, then 2 years and now 27 weeks pg with DS4. I found the best thing was to actually involve them when I am cooking, even from a very early age. I have never banned them from the kitchen, but put a lock on all cupboards except one which they could go into (basically the one with plastic things in) and I have cooker hob protectors on teh oven. They have all loved to bash saucepans whilst I cook, or I tend to get their high chair right next to the work top and just give them lots of things to play with from kitchen drawers. Usually I give the little one his own bowl to mix in and then things out of the drawer like measurers etc....thats an easy 20 minutes of happiness for them. They also like to see the ingredients and stir (mostly going over teh worksurface!) which helps stop them being so fussy when they are given the finished product to eat. Now I have the opposite problem that I have 3 boys all desperately wanting to "help" me which makes it MUCH harder to actually cook!
Mine from an early age have also been happy doing colouring etc whilst I do a bit of cooking. I ahve also had the utter clinginess of child not wanting to be put down so I do know what you are going through! And I have definitely resorted to TV when I need to!
Peppa Pig etc won't hurt and I have to admit that I actually find it quite funny. Its the mindless Nick Jr Disney stuff that I don't really like.

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:24:54

She probably watches few episodes which is ten mins long. I'd say an hour max but the tv is on in the back ground for me or my dh. I can't stop him from watching it. We do go out and do things nearly everyday which isn't easy being pregnant and having a toddler that has only just started walking.
Perhaps merely saying its not good might not be the most helpful thing. I could do with a few suggestions of what kinds of things I could do with her rather than 'tv is bad'
I don't think peppa pig will turn her into a social devient or a nasty person. She is an early talker so it hasn't done her that much harm. I guess I was just worried as I know when the next baby comes she might b watching a bit more. I'm trying best.

Oh and ginger bread - I have done it with very little ones. mostly my 20 month old likes to play with cookie dough, so its more about trying new things and feeling the textures rather than actually creating something. how about playdough? You can make your own quite cheaply and then they can just play with it and make shapes etc.....

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:26:56

Actually maybe she might watch a bit more it varies different days.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Tue 18-Dec-12 13:27:48

I've started letting DS watch a lot of TV just now, he's 14.5 months and I am pregnant too, earlyish pg though and the tiredness is killing me.

DP is the same too, I don't think he gets the whole "play" thing very well. Don't stress about it too much, there's always time to cut it down and/or you could buy the Baby Einstein DVDs so she is watching something educational?

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:27:52

It is a difficult age to cope with at teh best of times, when tired and pregnant it is torture! She is little so while some kids can scribble for hours at her age some are not at all interested in craft. Gingerbread should be good though, even my craft hating boy loved cutting out biscuits at that age. You can make some playdough too and let her mess around with cutters and a little rolling pin with that.

Playdough- 1 cup flour, 1 cup water, half cup salt, 1tbsp oil and 1tbsp cream of tartar. Mix it in a pan and cook it and stir until done, when cooled a little knead it. Or mix in a bowl and microwave in 30 second bursts giving a stir in between. You want to cook it until no longer sticky. You can add a few drops of food colouring if you like before cooking or knead it in afterwards (you could let her do that).

Start getting her used to playing herself (important skill before baby comes) by maybe starting to build a duplo tower with her and then telling her to keep going and see how high she can go while you pop the oven on for dinner. Or start a dolly tea party and leave her for 5 mins to carry on herself. Gradually leave her for longer but tbh while some kids potter round happily some don't but even if you only get 5 min bursts you can plan your dinners a bit and chop veg in morning 5 mins so it is ready to bung into a dish later.

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:29:24

Oh and bread dough! If you make pizzas or something make your own dough, mine LOVE playing with it. 10 mins of a child playing with the dough is a pretty good kneading technique!

IWillOnlyEatBeans Tue 18-Dec-12 13:29:28

If you want to get your LO interested in crafts, try drawing pictures of Peppa etc. My DS is 2.10 and loves nothing better than asking me to draw pictures of Mummy Pig and Miss Rabbit (both pregnant, for some reason!) and then colouring them in. He doesn't even watch Peppa that much!

I am also a SAHM and am 39.5 weeks pregnant. I don't worry at all about DS watching TV. I need a break from charging around/lying on the floor playing cars/running after DS on his scooter. DS needs a break from me being narky.

I remember a paediatrician telling me that children under 18 mos should not watch any tv at all. Her daughter didn't. However, her daughter was at nursery 5 days per week. I can imagine she'd think slightly differently if she was at home with her all day...

If you feel uncomfortable then I agree with putting some time limits in place. DS gets to watch some Cbeebies after lunch (if we are not going out) while I tidy up, and again after tea, while I tidy up again.

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus Tue 18-Dec-12 13:29:39

Oh, Stealth I filled a bowl with marshmallow fluff and put DS on the changing mat and covered it in clingfilm, it was hilarious and he loved it, especially when it started hardening and his hands were stuck to his thighs!

Another good one is that fake snow you put water in and it becomes like actual snow. grin

givemeaclue Tue 18-Dec-12 13:32:31

I would turn off the background tv and limit her screen time to

2 x 30 mins per day. Put a timer on, when it goes off its time for a story etc.

I wouldn't use tv as background noise. Yes you can ask dh to turn it off -is he off sick or something?

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:33:38

It's difficult with having my dd in the kitchen as its brick floors and if she falls over that's a gauranteed head cracker!! But I could get my dp to try and baby proof it. She has broken a few things of mine in there as we have exposed shelves and its too dangerous. I need to get her in crafts. It would b so much easier as I love doing that sort of thing!

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:39:56

Hard kitchen floor- get one of those foam mats that go together like a puzzle. Easy to pop down in teh kitchen when you need it, easy to wipe clean and great fun to be had with it in other rooms too. here

aprilrain Tue 18-Dec-12 13:43:40

I do think 17 months is too young to be interested in crafts (beyond eating paint and glue or smearing it in their hair!)

I think giving her pots, pans and plastic kitchen tools to play with near to you while you do the cooking is the best solution for now.

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:45:18

No he works from home but in the evenings when I cook dinner he sometimes watches her and I ask him to play but he says she doesn't want to and let's her watch tv. I dot have the energy to have a full blow row about it so I just try and make an extra effort to make sure she doesn't watch too much after dinner.
I don't feel too bad now though. I see a lot of mothers do the same as me smile we can't all have little angels that play by themselves whilst we cook and clean lol. And we can't all b Mother Earth and spend every second with our kids ;) I will try my hardest but I won't give myself too much of a hard time. Thanks you for all ur advise. I will defintely try the dough (I remember now my mum did homemade dough for me!) and I might be brave and try painting and gingerbread. As I need to make more anyway. I can't wait til she wants to bake, if I should say. As I'm a keen baker and want her to b my right hand man in the kitchen next Christmas lol

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 18-Dec-12 13:46:50

What a fab idea indith I'm going to go and purchase one of those. Thank you

ChristmasKnackers Tue 18-Dec-12 13:50:09

Dont feel bad! I have a 2.5 yr old and 14 week old, I couldn't survive the day without TV. Sometimes you need some down time too and childrens TV these days is mostly good quality. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Make sure you are chatting to your toddler about the TV he watches so he is being 'interactive' with it. Mine also plays on the iPad too when I need a cup of tea!!!

Indith Tue 18-Dec-12 13:51:41

Baking is fab smile Plus you get to eat the results! I see it as the perfect excuse to eat chocolate educational activity. Cookery, numbers (weighing stuff out), motor skills (cracking eggs, grating lemon rind, stirring), colours with icing plus you get to entertain them while making it, then again once it has cooled for decorating it. What's not to love?

I'd be giving your dp a kick up the bum though and telling him to play with his child. Do you have things like duplo or wooden blocks? That's what my dh loves to play with most with the kids. He never goes in for teasets and stuff but stick a bucket of duplo next to him and he is off building stuff for with them (well, lego now the big ones are older).

givemeaclue Tue 18-Dec-12 13:52:37

I think you do have a problem with your dh refusing to play with her and using the tv as a babysitter instead. Understand tired at end of the day but surely he amtad ad her a story or something before he puts the tv on

FunnysFuckingFreezing Tue 18-Dec-12 13:57:53

I wouldn't worry. Stop stressing about this. She is 17 months and likes TV, it's not the end of the world. She doesn't have a TV addiction and likely as not if you don't make a big deal she will soon get bored and want to do other things. My 2 DC who are nearly 3 and 7 have been allowed to watch whatever TV they like and as a consequence really will take it or leave it. They enjoy certain programmes but rarely ask to watch it and will do any number of other things instead.

Oh and 17 month old children mostly don't eat or sleep 'properly'. You really need to give yourself a break.

naturalbaby Tue 18-Dec-12 14:04:56

We have an open plan kitchen so have never been able to keep the kids out! we have a high chair in the kitchen so my toddler can sit with me to have a drink and snack while I'm busy, and they are allowed pretty much free reign in a couple of the cupboards which only have plastic things in.

Mine will sit at the table drawing and squishing play doh for ages, and I collected a bag of (clean) milk bottle tops then put them all in a big plastic bowl and gave them a couple of big spoons and cups to play with - and then the dust pan and brush to help tidy up when they've finished.

I have been pregnant with a toddler - twice, you do anything for an easy life!

RyleDup Tue 18-Dec-12 14:17:23

I'd turn it off if its not being watched, but other than that you're fine. Don't beat yourself up about it. I'm sure your child won't turn out to be a deviant for watching a bit of telly each day. Fwiw I did the same when I was pg with dc2. Dd learnt loads of good stuff from the tv. I was quite impressed grin

Bibs123 Tue 18-Dec-12 14:17:54

There is no evidence to say a bit of tv is bad. It does my head in when people ( mostly on mumsnet) tell you that letting your child watch ANY TV is the most terrible thing a parent can do, without anything to back this up. I would say as a parent you make the judgement call and act accordingly, i wouldn't listen to some of the know it all militant mums on here and trust that you know whays best for your child. I am sure a bit of tv is doing no harm. If you think she is watching too much do some jigsaws or read some more books or go to the park.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Tue 18-Dec-12 14:31:25

Nobody said it was the worst thing a parent can do.

But it's not great.

And being pregnant is no reason to be a lazy parent to your toddler.

But sure, if you think an hour a day of completely passive, useless sitting and staring is harmless, then have at it.

ChunkyPickle Tue 18-Dec-12 14:40:47

YOu know that people said terrible things about children and books when they first became common too?

DS absolutely loves Abney and Teal, and he watches all sorts of ABC/kiddie songs videos on YouTube.

He can now sing his ABC (completely taught by the TV), knows more verses for the wheels on the bus than I knew existed, and often comes over and surprises me with other new things he's learned.

He also runs around like a nutter, plays cars ad infinitum, does crafty stuff at playgroup, helps me cook, 'reads' his books and magazines etc.

As part of a balanced diet there's nothing wrong with some TV in my opinion, in previous times kids had a much more boring, uneducational time of it.

SHoHoHodan Tue 18-Dec-12 15:04:12

Honestly, stop beating yourself up about it. Don't forget that small children soak up knowledge from all sorts of things, so it won't be 'passive staring' at a tv. They learn numbers, letters, colours, language - all kinds of stuff. Just because it looks like mindless drivel to us adults, doesn't mean that it is.

DS2 used to watch a fair amount of tv (he's 5 now) but now prefers to do crafts (thank you Mr Maker and Art Attack). His reading and numberwork levels are significantly higher than many of his peers and he is outgoing and sociable. TV is not the evil that many seem to think it is, really.

FunnysFuckingFreezing Tue 18-Dec-12 15:44:31

Sleighbells that was entirely uncalled for. Why is allowing your child to watch TV being a lazy parent? Children need down time as much as adults. IMO the best way for my boys to chill out is to sit and watch some TV, in much the same way as I do.

I really hate this attitude that allowing your child to watch TV somehow means you are being neglectful or lazy.

jellyandcake Tue 18-Dec-12 16:07:36

The other week I was ill with a tummy bug. 23month DS watched CBeebies literally all day. I felt really guilty! What annoys me is that I don't even know why I feel guilty - there doesn't seem to be compelling and convincing evidence that a moderate amount of tv is harmful (all day is obviously not moderate but that was unusual circumstances!). There is just all this anxiety attached to it so like you, OP, I feel worried when I put it on but don't feel like there is anything concrete to back that worry up. I think if you vary your activities over the day/week, read books, play games, chat and interact you are doing a good job. And I personally think having a bit of a break during late pregnancy is fine and not lazy at all!

DomesticGoddess31 Tue 18-Dec-12 18:56:51

Good god, I'm shock at how judgey some people can be about a bit of tv. I've watched tv every day for the whole of my life and I'm alright!

My DD is 18 months OP and she watches about the same amount as yours, it goes on for 10 mins while I have a shower in the morning(she's in her cot), while she eats her snack in the afternoon so she sits still and doesn't trapse food everywhere, and she has cloudbabies or similar just before bed. If she's up at silly o clock I might stick it on for a bit while I get myself a caffeine injection. 30 mins to 1 hour tops.

I'm currently a SAHM and my DD is not interested in crafty stuff yet either. I do leave paper and crayons out for her which she likes to tip everywhere and eat. Its SO hard to fill day after day with a toddler who isn't yet into all that stuff and just wants to cling to your leg all day. Oh, and mine is still not sleeping through either [sob].

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 19-Dec-12 15:13:27

I'm glad to hear my dd isn't the only one that doesn't take an interest in crafts. I tried drawing peppa pig but she just ate the crayon. And when I say ate it she really did eat it!! Lol everything has to b in her mouth at the moment or smooshed into her hair lol. I will keep trying with crafts.
I think sleighbells u r being very harsh on all of us who let our children watch tv and perhaps u r from a different generation to me but I think no tv at all is really extreme and unrealistic. U haven't seen the things my dd and I do together and my circumstances, surroundings etc. I do feel u r a little to quick to judge. I would never be that harsh to friends never mind complete strangers!
I think many of u r right, we should give ourselves a break and enjoy watching a bit of light hearted cartoons. Especially when the weather is as bad as this!!!! sad

Mamarunner Wed 19-Dec-12 16:19:59

This is really difficult. I am having the same worries about my 2 year old. DH showed him some of the Disney Pixar DVDs and now all he wants to do is watch those. If it was just him I would just turn it off and distract him with something else, but I also have a 3 month old baby who just wants to feed and be comforted all the time which makes it impossible to always be able to sit down and play with DS1 enough to distract him from wanting the tv on.

At the moment I'm trying not worry about it as we generally go out and do an activity most days and as DS2 gets older he will change and we'll be able to get out and do more, and therefore get away from the tv.

naturalbaby Wed 19-Dec-12 22:12:22

sleighbells obviously has no idea what it's like to be heavily pregnant, exhausted and to have a toddler to look after. At least the toddler isn't strapped into the buggy in front of the t.v with a packet of crisps and a bottle of coke for company.

RyleDup Wed 19-Dec-12 22:17:59

Nowt wrong with a packet of crisps and a bottle of coke Naturalbaby. grin

naturalbaby Wed 19-Dec-12 22:24:52

exactly, so long as they're organic. grin

RyleDup Wed 19-Dec-12 23:07:03

And I just had to google it. You actually can get organic cola. I've learnt something new!!

ZuleikaD Thu 20-Dec-12 06:36:35

I am heavily pregnant with two toddlers and we still don't have tv.

ZuleikaD Thu 20-Dec-12 06:36:47

Just saying.

Bibs123 Thu 20-Dec-12 07:57:19

Extreme parenting is not for me, i would like to teach my daughter to enjoy things in moderation. I would be worried that by banning things you could cause uneccesary guilt or anxiety in the future. No medals from me for the no tv brigade ( i do wonder if they watch it themselves).

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Thu 20-Dec-12 07:58:13

I know exactly what it's like to be heavily pregnant with a toddler.

I've done it twice.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Thu 20-Dec-12 08:00:13

Not putting the TV on for a child under 2.5 causes no issues at all.

How could it possibly?

TV can be great. But not for small toddlers.

give yourself a break, you're pregnant. and TV will be a godsend once your baby is here.

If you weren't aware it may be a problem then i'd say you need to do something about it, but as you are conscious and aware that too much tv isn't so great and do other things with her then you're fine.

My dd was the same at the same age, she still loves TV now but she also reads at yr 2 level while in yr 1 and the youngest in her class.

Cupcakemummy85 Thu 20-Dec-12 08:33:50

I've definitely started being more relaxed about the tv. I thought my dd was getting addicted to it. Getting upset when I turned it off but actually she does that a lot when I've had enough of reading the gingerbread man for the tenth time lol. She has that kind I personality, whenever we stop doing anything she hates it. Tv is something she enjoys and many of her friends her age do to but like most of her friends she gets out and does other things too. I'm sure just like me when i was younger, once she is at nursery and school she will be busy with hobbies etc and won't have time for that much tv.

ZuleikaD Thu 20-Dec-12 09:48:04

There's no question of 'banning' it - we just don't have it. The children don't know there is such a thing as tv. And no, I don't watch tv either - we don't have an aerial or a licence.

Bearandcub Thu 20-Dec-12 09:53:53

It's fine, really. Do what you need to do to get through the difficult patches and then look at it again if you're still concerned.

Jakeyblueblue Thu 20-Dec-12 10:53:51

I wouldn't worry op.
Goodness me, there's far worse things a parent can do than let the kids watch tv.
I let ds 18 months watch tv. He loves it and has learnt no end from it. I agree that things like the Disney channel are just mindless noise but cbeebies is fine. IMO it's quite educational. Ds loves bob the builder and Thomas and knows all his machines as a result. Points out trains and diggers and cars and can say them all. He also loves show me show me and will try to sing the songs and knows some of the signing from something special. Obviously I don't use tv as my sole method of education / entertainment. We do crafts and cooking and masses of reading but theres also a place for a bit of tv.
I think calling people lazy for allowing toddlers to watch tv is harsh. All op wanted was a bit of reassurance that it was ok for her little one to be watching a bit of tv whilst she was so tired. And let's face it, it's perfectly ok.
Most of us will have grown up watching tv and are all ok. In fact I watched loads of it and I've just completed a masters degree. smile

Jakeyblueblue Thu 20-Dec-12 11:11:43

Oh and also tv will be a god send when the new baby arrives, especially if you are breastfeeding. That's unless of course, you are like some of the super mums on here, that can breastfeed, cook and make crafts with toddlers all at the same time. grin

LaCiccolina Thu 20-Dec-12 11:28:31

ur on the later stages of a pregnancy. U are not suggesting this will continue always. It's very much "of its moment". Therefore ignore everyone on this thread, it won't harm dd if its a short term thing.

Dd has been sick for 3wks and I'm in last leg of preg. She's watching more tv than usual but once all settles down ill sort it back out. It won't fry her brain or make her dumb in 12wks.

Anyone who thinks otherwise to that is a fool, and plainly hasn't read the ops words properly.

Ionasky Thu 20-Dec-12 11:28:58

My DD loves it too - if you've got to cook dinner/make coffee/shower (and she also can throw tantrums when not getting attention) then what can you do? I would say that I've found a lot of books that have been recorded on youtube, might be an idea to mix it up a bit (bear hunt, tiger who came to tea, gruffalo) so you can get DH to show her those instead of TV - at least slightly different and gets her used to the stories.

These studies on TV watching are dealing with the average child and my daughter certainly finds it comforting. It might be harder to break less desirable habits when the new one comes along. You can only do your best, I'm sure but they will stop the tantrums eventually if you make it clear that watching TV is a treat and it happens at set times and not at other times. Parenting - it's really hard eh? The no TV at all thing would require super-human commitment - I think it's unrealistic unless you have absolutely fantastic family/friend support and who has?

Snazzyfeelingfestive Thu 20-Dec-12 11:49:55

I agree with the poster who suggested a limited amount of tv each day, eg 30 mins twice a day. I also think setting up a routine for the evening time when your DP is in charge of her would help - say that she gets 3 stories before the TV goes on. It isn't particularly fair that wheneve he's in charge he defaults to just putting the TV on. We all (with the exception of posters who have no TV etc...) use it at times to allow us to get on with other things like cooking dinner, but you put in the effort at other times with her. It doesn't sound like your DP does.

Fazerina Thu 20-Dec-12 14:22:04

Hello OP! I haven't read through the whole thread and sorry if someone already posted this, but I just loved Prof. R.Winston's reply on the live chat yesterday:

"Hello Prof. Winston!
Does watching TV for an hour a day have a negative effect on a child's brain development? If a young child never watched TV would they be more advanced than one who watched TV a little bit each day or one who watched TV constantly? Do you think 'educational' programmes make a difference with regards to how much TV a child watches?
Thanks

Dear milkyjo. I would have thought that watching tv for an hour a day is more valuable than staring through a dining room window. I would add that in general prolonged watching tv without parental supervision is not a good idea for any child of a young age. RW"

Like you, I have been concerned about my 19-month-old DS watching too much and I asked a SALT at my children's centre about this. She told me to obviously try to restrict it and to try to make it as interactive an experience as possible by commenting loads on what's going on on the screen, asking DC questions etc. I enjoy watching Something Special every morning with DS and together we point at things around the room and say 'Look, an X, Y, Z' etc. [Grin]

Fazerina Thu 20-Dec-12 14:22:53

Hehe, that was meant to be a grin!

Cupcakemummy85 Thu 20-Dec-12 14:49:03

Thats very interesting to hear what an expert is saying. And I do agree with him. Also as I was reading 'each peach pear plum' for litreally the 20th time I thought to myself, this isn't that different to tv. My dd is sitting completely still looking at pictures. Not tht much difference in it really. Lol. I do put cbeebies on a bit more as I can interact with the programme a bit more than peppa pig.

Cupcakemummy85 Thu 20-Dec-12 14:51:01

Oh and we tried painting today and it was fine for two mins and then my dd tried to eat the paint and use it as face paints. Not quite the crafty morning I had in mind lol. Perhaps I should wait a little longer until she's a bit older lol

Houseworkprocrastinator Thu 20-Dec-12 14:52:13

I have a friend who read the study about not letting under 3s watch telly, she was not aloud to watch it at all. her daughter is now 4 and completely obsessed with the television. If asked what she wants to do it is always watch television. Mine have been aloud to watch as much as they want and really can take it or leave it. There are a few programs they love to watch but other than that they go and play.

so i think that by banning something completely you can turn it into a big deal.

i wouldn't worry OP everyone has lazy days and i think there is too much pressure on parents to keep their children entertained and do stuff with them every moment of the day.

naturalbaby Thu 20-Dec-12 15:02:41

heavily pregnant with 2 toddlers sounds painful wink.

Seriously, well done to anyone who has managed to survive pregnancy and looking after a toddler. I only survived because my toddler and preschooler still had afternoon naps when baby did so I got a bit of peace and quiet every day.
You don't have to make other pregnant mothers feel like crap because they are struggling.

I thought at least ds1 gets a few days without t.v because he's at school full time, and then he comes home telling me what movie he's watched at wet play time!
I was hardly allowed any sweets, crisps, chocolate when I was a child and now eat so much sugar I have huge fillings. Everything in moderation.

CecilyP Thu 20-Dec-12 15:26:20

I am heavily pregnant with two toddlers and we still don't have tv

No wonder!

DinosaursOnASleigh Thu 20-Dec-12 15:29:10

My ds3 has Noddy on most of the day, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and understand the tiredness. But, to be honest I'd probably have it on even if I wasn't pregnant.

Karoleann Thu 20-Dec-12 15:31:32

Does she have and aquadraw? My DD loves hers and she's the same age. I wouldn't worry too much, more than a couple of hours is bad, but you're bound to be tired at the moment.
I imagine you'll watch much more when you have a secnd one.
DC1 would at that age watched Tv from 5.30am-7am and then from 6-7pm at that age. Interestingly neither DC2 or DC3 had any interest at that age, DC2 was probably 2 and a half before he showed an interest and DC3 just ignores it.
It is easier to keep LO's entertained when you have another for them to play with.

CecilyP Thu 20-Dec-12 15:38:03

^Not putting the TV on for a child under 2.5 causes no issues at all.

How could it possibly?^

Obviously it is not going to cause 'issue' as children managed for generations without TV.

TV can be great. But not for small toddlers.

I think it can be great for children too. A lot of programmes are very engaging and specially useful on these dark winter days when you can't get out so much. The level of repetition is appealing too and, as another poster said, not so very different from reading the same story for the 10th time. I thought TV was just wallpaper for babies until my 8 month old was watching Playschool then crawled away as soon as the Conservative Party (I'm sure it could have been any political party) Conference came on straight after.

happydad02 Thu 20-Dec-12 15:42:53

Try other things to distract your child away from the TV like drawing or painting etc. I can understand how exhausting it is as I have two girls only two years apart. If not try Cbeebis as Mr tumble and numbertums are interactive and educational at the same time.

ellesabe Sun 23-Dec-12 19:55:49

OP, my dd1 was exactly like this.

Then overnight (at 24mo) she decided she didn't like telly any more and preferred playing with her toys instead.

This happened to coincide precisely with the arrival of dd2 which is a bit inconvenient!!

She now had her favourite programs which she prefers to watch on the iPad.

Cupcakemummy85 Sun 23-Dec-12 21:28:08

Thank you ellesabe for replying. I think with a new lot of toys at Christmas my dd should find a bit more joy in playing with her toys because at the moment she seems bored with them. I'm a bit more chilled about the tv but make extra effort to go out at least once. It's difficult if its raining because she just isn't into crafts as much as I try she really doesn't want to do it. So on rainy days I think a bit if tv is fine. Hopefully my dd will b the same as urs and just will take or leave the tv.

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