Mumsnet Talk

Our 17mo was a great eater until about 3 weeks ago when we stopped using his high chair. If we just use the harness on the chair (trip trap so elevated and has footrest) he slips forwards off the seat and dangles there, asking vociferously for help. Again. And again...

I would wait for him to outgrow this, only he won't take more than a sip of cow's milk, and BF an active toddler is really hard work.

We've tried snacking a la Sears, but he's much too busy for that.

Anyone have any ideas, before we go back to the babyset?

why did you stop using the babyset? I'd definitely put it back on again.
One of the huge pluses of tripp trapps is that they can be used for so long (without the baby set, eventually, of course). My son (big 2.9) always chooses his TT, as it puts him at the right height; I sat in one until I was 16! (ds has it now - a good investment!)

Why did we stop using the baby set?

Well he's a bright boy. He didn't like being restrained.
First of all he showed his objection by not letting me clean his teeth y'know how that can be and, weighing all factors up, I chose to keep on top of the teeth cleaning at the moment. Then it just got to the point where I couldn't get him into the thing at all (I'm single handed here most of the time as DH works late. And early).

So we took off the baby set, and have been working on getting *him to choose* to sit with me/us for his meals, even if it's not for the whole meal.

He does like his food, I don't think it's a question of type of food or presentation - it's just there is so much else to do...

Any creative suggestions?

strap him in,like it or not.

He's 17 months, so I am not sure choice comes into it much.

Are you feeding him early enough? My DS is no good after 6pm anymore, though he used to be (when he was still napping)

If it is on, I turn the TV off half an hour before we eat so he is not being dragged away from it to eat

Well I'd put the baby set back on, if he whinges for a few seconds but then tucks in anyway what's the problem?

Have you tried a booster seat? It worked with my LO

Just strap him on - at this point they always start objecting to everything - its just toddlers isnt it.

i dont give mine choices when the choices involve something I dont want iyswim.

I think the eating is more important than the tooth cleaning as well.

I'm with secondcoming. My DD got strapped in whether she fancied it or not. If that means serious manhandling - so be it.

DD1 has a booster seat now (She is just 3) but she would not sit still at the table if it didn't have a strap - so it does.

Trouble is, I'm not sure I'll be able to get him into the chair with the babyset any more. He is very tall, and including snacks we are talking about 5 plus times a day.
It would take a concerted effort, I am exhausted and there are more important battles for me to fight.

Clare123 do you mean a booster seat on a regular adult chair as opposed to a tripp trapp where he is at the right height with his feet supported? To be like a grown up on a grown up's chair? I think DH bought one a while back & will give it a go.

Really? can you get hold of an Antilop for a year or so? You can bung really quite big children and secure them in there.

And why does he have to be in there for snacks?

You have to learn to be able to hoist them about at this age as you will still be doing it when they are 2-3 - ie getting them into the buggy/carseats etc when they really dont want to [frustrated emoticon].

am a strap them in if they like it or not parent

So I guess most people on here are in the 'strap'em down' camp. That's fine.

I'm not.
Strapping down would be pretty much a last resort for me.

I'm looking for creative ideas to motivate my LO to sit and eat somewhat socially, at the table, because prior to this developmental phase he seemed enjoy us eating together, and having a family mealtime is, for many reasons, one of my parenting aims (albeit fairly low down).

We've tried music. We will try a booster, and maybe a small toy at the table.

Does anyone else have any more non-'strap them down' ideas to share?

DS used to sit on our laps until he was big enough to sit on a chair with a cushion on it.

Is there summat wrong with strapping them down? Genuinely curious here.

Never needed to bother with DD1 - she hardly ever used her high chair. But, I strap DD2 down whether she likes it or not - she wont eat otherwise, and tries to nurse all night which i cant deal with any more.

That said, she 'eats' tea with her sister at a little wooden ikea child's table, same bowls, same utensils, same chairs, etc. She seems to enjoy it very much.

Agree with Riven - a toy is much worse surely?

The nicer way to go is to get the little table and chairs and have a couple of meals/snacks at that and then save the high chair for family lunch and dinner.

I dont think they are ready developmentally at 17 months to choose to sit nicely all the time at the table tbh.

I can see why you think strapping him down is a negative thing, but at this age it is all about wills - toddlers like to push boundaries. Either strap him in, try a booster seat (negating the point of getting a tripp trapp, I suppose) or repeatedly right him when he shifts forwards as you describe in the OP.

I don't know why you need to get creative about it. But you could try silly songs about it being dinner time and how we all sit in our chairs, blah la la? Or give him the illusion of choice - so do you want to sit in your highchair or on a big chair? Either way he is sitting down but he thinks it was his free choice IYSWIM?

butadream, we usually go with sitting on my lapfor a bit. How did you get him to sit still enough for you to eat. Did you take it in turns?

Leoniedelt - hehehe - do you like being strapped down yourself???

Riven - I will talk to him about it I keep forgetting how much he understands.

Domesticextremist - I don't expect him to sit nicely at the table all the time!!!! Or to eat everything I put in front of him!!!I think I'm quite realistic. I just want him to eat enough to take a bit of the pressure off my metabolism. At the table in a social situation. That is important to me.

tired, our DS is a bit older but in a, er, willful phase - if he screams and kicks when lifted to his highchair I don't just strap him in regardless - because he is now 2.3 - but anyway I just say to him that it's fine but daddy and I are eating our dinner and there will be no tv on or toys out etc. We make a very big fuss about what lovely food we're eating &c.

He might amble about for a minute or two but 9/10 times he will come to me and ask to sit with us so he can eat his dinner now, too. The 1/10 he does not I take his word that he is not hungry.

Might this work?

Yes took it in turns but also took the line that if he wriggled too much he was "obviously not hungry so it must be bathtime and bedtime now" (evening) or "it must be naptime" (lunch) - we still take that line now he is 3.5.

i think this might be a first born child-it's very bright and very tall and needs a circus to eat...
since the op clearly knows what she's doing maybe it's best to leave her to it...
mine is also very very very bright and a very manipulative madam,were she not strapped to her booster seat she'd not eat a thing...i think eating is quite important so am prepared to invade her space/restrict her freedom of choice to ensure she does this...

[Has one last go] but the strapping in isnt a restriction - its to protect them from launching themselves out - ie a safety thing.

Mine will quite happily sit in the highchair for ages as long as the food keeps coming - she will also ask to go in it to colour in etc - when she gets old enough to not fall off the chairs and brain herself then she will sit up with us...

Thin end of wedge. You let him out so eh woudl oblige with tooth cleaning, now he wonlt eat etc etc. Chances are he is just testing boundaries, toddlers dontl leik any sort fo restarint or limits , that si theri nature. He isn't old enough to reason like this no matter how bright, ignore the protest and move on . Put the baby set back on and see if it makes any odds. If he doesn't want to eat, take him out and let him get on with things - he will eat when he is hungry, toddelrs rarely starve themselevs . Props to distract will make thinsg worse long term , what fo youa re out and don't have it ? Eat with him, simialr food, with him havign only a little on his to start with and talk gernally about thinsg other tahn the food. Does he feed himself or make you feed him ? Look at what he eats voer a period of days rather than during any one day. Cut the snacks and offer foods such that every mouthful counts (ie. not biscuits and sugary drinks)

Next it will be the car seat straps, the pushchair, holding mummy's hand near roads and car parks - all of which are pretty much non negotiable so you have to draw a line early on.

Have you tried handing him a spoon or other object he will associate with eating as he is running around? The idea being that the object becomes a 'cue', and he brings it to the table...

There could be something you know he loves at the table the first few times you do it; after he has got the hang of coming over, introduce non-preferred foods.

It's just that everything else is much more fun than eating at the moment

OP, in response to your question, i strap my second child, 16 months, down because she hasnt got the ability to understand gravity yet, fgs. She REALLY doesnt understand why she cannot walk off the top step and expect to land at the bottom safely!

I dont give a FUCK about what she wants, as such, right now, her SAFETY is the important thing. I use reins to hold her when she isnt strapped into a pushchair, to keep her from absconding into the street too. Does that make me a child abuser? No, my primary concern is her SAFETY. When she is older, she will prove herself capable and therefore be afforded more physical freedom but at the mo, she doesnt know why she shouldnt climn in the middle of the table she eats at with her sister, why that might be dangerous etc, so i have to do what i have to do to keep her safe until she is capable of doing it herself.