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6 year old boy and masturbation!

(13 Posts)
MrsArchieTheInventor Sat 21-Nov-09 16:06:12

How do I talk to my 6 year old son about masturbation? He's started touching his bits in a way that's inappropriate in public, and whilst I obviously don't want to encourage him to touch himself in a public setting, I also don't want to give him a complex that it's something dirty to be ashamed of either.

Help??!!

FabHasHadHerSurprise Sat 21-Nov-09 16:10:59

Say to him that it is fine to do it but better in private.

Last0rders Sat 21-Nov-09 16:13:52

It's not masturbation. Don't even bring up masturbation with him.

This is a phase all children will go through (so Freud says!) and is totally natural.

My DS, also 6, has his hand permentely attached to his willy. He talks about it all the time, he talks about my 'china' grin all the time, we talk together about it.

I've not experienced the public display yet, but when I do I will distract him with other things, rather than focussing on the badness of it iyswim.

It really is just a phase that you must ride out.

FabHasHadHerSurprise Sat 21-Nov-09 16:15:43

What Last0rders said. She is right.

MrsArchieTheInventor Sat 21-Nov-09 16:23:09

You're right, it's not really masturbation. It's more that he's discovered that touching his penis and testicles feels nice, and it's telling him that it's not something that's done on a Sunday afternoon at his grandparents' whilst not telling him that it's dirty, and also not wanting to go fully into a sex education lesson as he's not ready for it. He can cope with knowing generally what tampax are, he can cope with knowing that he and his baby sister grew in my tummy and he's got an inkling that mummy and daddy had a 'special cuddle' to make him and his sister, though he got bored when I said more than that.

Explainations have to be in simple soundbites and I can't come up with any for this.

tell him it's like picking his nose...it may feel good but it's something that you do at home only.

SkipToMyLou Sat 21-Nov-09 16:32:18

Is it really not masturbation? I thought playing with yourself because it feels nice was just that!

Last0rders Sat 21-Nov-09 16:33:40

See, the whole 'bits' thing is fine with me, but I'm really struggling with the whole "Where do babies come from?" thing! It's hard to explain when it's only me and him - to bring now-married Daddy into the equation will confuse the hell out of him!

My DS knows it's ok to fiddle, but the way I explained it was not to do it at school/soft play/friends house, because although Mummy doesn't mind seeing his willy, friend/teacher/stranger may not want to!

He gets the picture, but still find him and his mates comparing willys in the playhouse at local softplay!!

Last0rders Sat 21-Nov-09 16:37:11

Main Entry: mas·tur·ba·tion
Pronunciation: \ˌmas-tər-ˈbā-shən\
Function: noun
Date: 1603
: erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies.

Not what my 6 year old gets up to when fiddling with his dinkle.

SkipToMyLou Sat 21-Nov-09 16:40:58

I stand corrected! Should I tell the kids (12 and 8) I was wrong... oh heck!

Last0rders Sat 21-Nov-09 16:44:16

Nah, you've just saved yourself from having to answer the inevitable question a few years down the line! Maybe...!

rofl at the picking your nose analogy - when picking ds up from a friend's yesterday he picked his nose and I told him to stop - so he popped it in his mouth!

He knows not to play with himself when in public, maybe I'll just the nose picking thing on him the other way round.

mrz Sat 21-Nov-09 16:50:51

Have a social story on the subject - suggested for a child in school with SEN ...

I Like Touching My Body
Sometimes I like to rub my private parts between my legs.
This gives me a good feeling.
Everybody does this now and then. This is normal.
But some people think it is rude, or wrong.
Some people feel embarrassed if they see me doing it.
They may laugh or make fun of me.
I will try not to embarrass people in school.
I will remember – private parts are for private places.
I will only do this when I am alone.

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