Mumsnet Talk

My 5 year old son is so jealous of his little sister. She was doing something cute tonight so I pointed it out to him. He giggled at it then lent over her and bit her arm really hard and made her cry. He got sent to bed early (it was 6pm). He told me he wants rid of her, doesn't like her and doesn't like his family any more. I told him I look forward to friday night so we can cuddle up and watch TV when she's gone to bed and he's spoilt it. He went on tractor and to cinema with dad last weekend to himself and gets lots of attention. Still doesn't stop him being jealous. Yet at other times he'll tell her he loves her, gives her a kiss and they have fun together. Any tips on reducing the jealousy and nasty behaviour?

Give him some responsibility which involves her (I know it may fly in the face of reason!)such as asking him to 'read' her a story, help her clean her teeth, put on slippers etc.

Then praise him like mad, say only big boys can help like grown ups, and does he think he could be a big boy ? as little boys aren't able to help etc (reverse psychology) and also give him treats if he manages it.

I have it working well here, 6 y0 reading bedtime story to 3 yo and all the above. It also helps if you say to the little one if she thinks big brother is being kind he deserves a sweet!(or a good boy point which you then tot up for a special treat/outing etc) Works every time!

Good luck!

This is a great book

www.amazon.co.uk/Siblings-Without-Rivalry-Children-Together/dp/1853406309/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books &qid=1258753770&sr=1-1

Really

Hi, I don't have any advice, but will be watching this thread as my 3.8 year old is showing quite similar behaviour towards his 9 month old sister.
I do try to tell him what a brilliant older brother he is when he cuddles her, involves her in his play, makes her laugh etc. I also try to give him loads of attention independently from her too, but he's still misbehaving.
Wish I knew how I behaved towards my younger brother, as I could feel reassured because we get on really well now, but my dad doesn't remember and my mum is no longer around.
Here's hoping it's just a phase, Cornflake!

I have the same trouble with my youngest

two. I am trying so hard to treat them

equally and include the older of the two in

everything that we do so that he doesnt

feel left out. However, every now and then

I will hear my 3 year old say something

really bad to the baby like "im going to

hurt you if you keep crying". I understand

its jealousy, but we have tried so hard to

avoid the divide that its heartbreaking.

Thankyou everyone. Funnily enough he's been fab with her last few days. Maybe bed early drove the message home a bit and he'd been able to say how he feels about her sometimes. Barrelofloves, I'll try your ideas. He keeps asking if she can sleep in his bedroom (not on a school night I tell him) so he'd probably love to 'read' her a story and do some things to help her. Keep the tips coming!