Hi All

Sorry for lack of involvement in my post, but this swine flu has really taken feet from me, finished tamiflu last night, but have now started on a weeks course of antibiotics as I have a chest infection on top of the swine flu!

My DS is full of cold, and so therefore has been grumpy, but his behaviour has been a bit better, cos he can clearly see Mummy is really not well.

I have been reading everyone's posts, and I'm so glad to read I am not alone!!!

No doubt I will be ranting on here again soon, once he see's I'm back to normal, although right now I don't know when that will be as I feel God damn awful.

Angie x

Grateful to know we are not the only ones. My DS doesn't seem to respond to praise though, very odd me thinks??! He just won't have eye contact / runs off / starts talking in made up language and noises. I would say this was normal sometimes, but he does it almost every time we praise him...

I have found that sometimes a very gentle approach and showing him that he makes me sad when he acts out can sometimes help, but not always. And I think there's possibly a fine line between showing him I am upset and sad at his behaviour and empowering him to be the adult (I don't want to come across too submissive, or he can tend to start thinking - and saying - he's in charge!) He's such a strong-willed little boy - good in some respects, but the head to heads are really wearing us down now. Such a minefield...

Hopefully it is just a usual phase of many kids this age - am sure we'll get through this sometime (soon I hope, it's lasted long enough )

It'll probably be something else soon enough - aren't we lucky as modern mothers to have this facility!? Is always a little comforting to hear from others going through the same.

X

I recognise my ds (3.10) behaviour patterns in most of these posts - unable to share, raspberry blowing, deliberate dribbling everywhere, etc etc. particulary horrendous in the summer holidays and every single day was a bit of a battle. we adopted a consistent, firm approach and did the 1-2-3 method - for eg; if he did not want other kids on the apparatus at the park, he often screamed at the other children so asked him calmly to stop, then gave a warning he would be taken off and if continued would be physically taken off. mostly resulted in almighty public tantrums which I was mortified and drained by but my dh (rightly) didnt care what others thought and we followed through.
after a few weeks there was an almighty 'sea' change and we only have to threaten the 1-2 and he does as we ask. also lots of praise for the good behaviours (look in their eyes when saying this and say you are proud of them) and we bought 'how to talk so kids listen' - useful strategies even at this age.
good luck everyone and hang on in there - we felt exactly the same and it can change but it is hard work and relentlessly exhausting. just a phase hopefully .........

Sorry, I should also probably mention that I am nearly 30 weeks pregnant, so 'time-outs' are also a bit of a nightmare as he will not go to the area, so I have to take him there (we don't have carpet, so I can fairly easily slide him there(!!), but it's obviously not good for me to be doing that... I really don't think the pregnancy/baby thing is the cause of all this, as it started before he knew anything about the baby.

Ugh. Where to start. SORRY THIS IS A LENGTHY ONE!!!
My DS (3.3 years) is an absolute horror and this has been getting worse for months (and months, and months...) Am at the end of my tether - again, probably for about the 100th time! He is also apparently pretty good at nursery, never really any worse behaviour than any other child there, but at home and with me and DH.........another story entirely.

We've been through it all - blaming ourselves for being too hard, so we try being less strict about things. Blaming ourselves for not having enough time to spend with him, so we go on family outings, setting aside any other issues/things we have to deal with. "Maybe we don't praise enough?", so we praise as much as we can and try to ignore the little bits of bad behaviour as much as we feel is right - we often tell him that we love him and always will, but his bad behaviour must stop, we really do not like it at all. He's not really a very tactile boy, so cuddles and kisses are kept to a minimum and are on his terms! He just doesn't seem to react well to any of it. We feel stumped and heartbroken.

Just to clarify the behaviour, if he can't have something (ie. a toy / some juice / anything) and he is inclined to react badly - which seems to be almost all of the time now - he will growl until his throat is sore, scream, shout, be utterly rude to us and bash his head on the floor/wall/toys/hard books, etc. Even if something tiny happens, like a toy doesn't quite do exactly what he is trying to make it do, he will react in this way and often smash it on the floor or throw it / rip it up. It's like having a wild animal in the house. He is also having trouble at bedtime (ie. getting him into bed / to stay in bed / to sleep and not wake in the night in another foul mood) and to top it all, he is now regularly having toilet problems - which sometimes also happens at nursery, however not quite as much.

I am fully aware that children of this kind of age often have 'relapses' or 'accidents' and this I think is completely normal, but he will have days when he will be dancing around crossing his legs and I will do everything in my power to try to coax him to go, but he absolutely refuses. I have even tried just asking once or twice then ignoring it, but the outcome is the same. Sometimes he just refuses (like today at the park) to go because he doesn't want to leave play equipment as he doesn't want to share it. I eventually got him to come to the loo with me there, but he had another angry fit when we got back outside and another child was on 'his' aparatus. I kept very calm and explained very matter-of-factly that he could go there and ask to please play next, but he just carried on ranting til they got out - he noticed and I said 'you'd better be quick then if you'd like to have a go' and he ran off to get in. However, was beaten to it by a smaller boy, who's parent ended up 'helping' him to share with my DS and let him use the steering wheel - which my DS then refused to give up until we left, despite my coaxing and calm explanations.

I have to say, and I've always been very apprehensive of doing so until now (but after about 8 months of this ramping up to a point I just cannot deal with anymore...!) he seems to me to be a very intelligent little boy in many ways and I think he needs some kind of help in order to keep his mind/body 'fed' in a specific and more positive way, so I am now considering having him assessed. I do NOT want him to be branded as some 'ADHD' kid, nor would I want the 'MENSA' tag actually, as I think a boy such as my DS would not necessarily benefit by being given a label. But I do think that myself and my DH are obviously not barking up the right tree in terms of what he needs - he is certainly not getting something, if only I knew what it was

Sorry for the epic listing, it's been going on for sooooo long now and has thrown up so many issues over time that I feel lost in all this mess

Sorry Angiebabes that you've got swine flu. Hope the tamiflu kicks in quickly.

My ds went to nursery with no clothes on today. I spent 45 mins getting his pants on and by that point I was going to be really late to work and I was getting know where with getting him dressed.

Yesterday at nursery he flooded their bathroom, pinched children during circle time, pushed children over out in the yard. He was horrible there. The staff say that he seemed to find time out as a time for mucking around.

And he's just been a cats wisker away from flooding my bathroom about an hour ago. The phone rang, ds goes upstairs whilst I'm on the phone and I finish the call and think I can hear water running. He's only put the plug in and running the tap and he's putting toilet paper into the sink full of water. Horrible.

Oh thank goodness.
The thought of getting that poorly really scares me.

Hope you have some Lemonade and feel better soon.

DS been good so far today not had any major issues ....god I have just tempted fate or what?

Thankfully Daddy is here to look after him, otherwise I don't know what I would do!

I feel awful, this swine flu is horrible.

Struggling to breathe, ache all over, no appetite, sore head, sleepy, cough, fever and generally feel awful.

All I want is lemonade....and my tamiflu to kick in!!

Oh no are you ok?
Will yo manage with him at home while you're poorly?

Well, ds has been removed from nursery as mummy has been diagnosed with swine flu!

It just doesn't rain here.....it pours!