7 year old wants to kill himself (not normal ?)

[tryingtohelp]

This is really for a friend . she only has one child a boy of 7 and he keeps saying that he will go and kill himself.He says if anything happened to his mum and dad that he would kill himself.If he is bored again he might as well go and kill himself.I don't know the family that well.I am normally good at getting to the root of what my own children or one's close to me are thinking but I don't know him that well.His mum confided in me and asked my advice as to if this is normal and I just don't know.My children have talked about death alot just latley but they both go to a church school and have been learning about Jesus being killed and rising again e.t.c and we have talked about it.Has anyone else experienced this ? Is it normal? Any suggestions ?

[whymummy]

hi tryingtohelp,has someone died recently in this boys family?im asking because when i was 8 my friends dad died and i started saying that i would kill myself if my parents died,i was too scared to do it but kept saying it anyway i think it was my way of coping if anything happened to my mum and dad i knew i wouldnt suffer the pain of loosing them and i was also scared that ill be put in an horphanage,it sounds crazy but thats how i felt for a while,he`ll need a lot of reassurence and hopefully it will pass

[Tortington]

certainly dont think its abnormal to any great extent. it will continue if his family pander to him. if its a church school maybe his parents should make it a cheery thing not a morbid thing - so "right then when you top yourself - me and dad will see you there then and we will all see st peter together make sure we get you in cos you need a good reference" or something similar

[Jaybee]

My ds does this sometimes - usually when we have told him off for something, he can really over react and will sometime say "Well I may as well kill myself as you hate me" or similar. I have to admit that I was very worried about it at first - he is now 9 and first said it when he was about 7 - it was never all the time but seemed to be an over-reaction when he felt we were having a go at him. I now wonder whether this may be a modern version of the running away threat - I used to always threaten to run away and often packed my bags too. When he says this, I tend to give him a hug, just tell him that even though I don't like his current behaviour I love him and that we only tell him off to encourage him to think about his behaviour and the consequences of it.

[mmm]

My 8 year old says it sometimes in a jealous fit when the baby has hurt herself and needs a cuddle. I know of other children who have said it too. Maybe it's a version of ' I didn't ask to be born'. I think it's perfectly normal but horrible for the parent to hear.

[wobblymum]

If he seems to be serious about it, ie investigating how to do it etc, then I would say take it very seriously. If it's just said as a reaction to something else - to get attention, then he's probably just learnt that it makes people listen to him so he keeps saying it.

[spacemonkey]

My daughter has said something similar (i.e. if anything happened to you and dad i would kill myself) in the past, and i don't think this is abnormal - i can remember occasionally feeling terrified of losing my mum when i was a kid, and thinking that i would have to die as well if she did because i couldn't live without her! However, if he's saying it often then there is definitely cause for concern - perhaps he is feeling particularly insecure at the moment for some reason?