Amusing mispronunciations...

(340 Posts)
Picante Fri 25-Sep-09 11:02:04

Oh I know it's been done before but I wanted to share these ones from ds (3)...

I like boobies (blueberries).

Can we go and collect some fellas? (feathers).

Please share your own smile.

fairimum Fri 25-Sep-09 12:46:29

DD calls blueberries boobies too!!

BrigitBigKnickers Fri 25-Sep-09 12:50:19

"Lap dancing" (tap dancing) blush

insertwittynicknameHERE Fri 25-Sep-09 12:54:55

DD1 calls ice pops 'hot pots' hmm Always make me smile though.

KnickersandVests Fri 25-Sep-09 13:02:23

DD calls trick or treating, trickle treating.

chuffinell Fri 25-Sep-09 13:47:15

thomas the tankshion from my DD

meep Fri 25-Sep-09 13:59:50

umbellabella for umbrella

sliceoflife Fri 25-Sep-09 14:04:19

Bubble shouts (brussls sprouts)
bed raggled (bedraggled)

wineismyfriend Fri 25-Sep-09 14:05:04

DS1 used to say Breakfucks for breakfast shock

Bensmum76 Fri 25-Sep-09 14:42:27

Hilarious, wine is my friend!!

KembleTwins Fri 25-Sep-09 14:47:07

I always want to laugh when my 3 yo gets a book, climbs up and announces "I want to come on your lap". I know, I have a filthy mind.

suiledonn Fri 25-Sep-09 14:53:56

My dd (3.4) calls flying saucers cup and saucers and she calls a midnight feast a goodnight beast.

merryberry Fri 25-Sep-09 15:54:00

Caterpeters turn into butterflies.
And when big help is wanted, 'Mummy, can you do me a flavour please?'

Seeline Fri 25-Sep-09 15:58:08

DD used to call tumble tots 'gymlastics'
When now play a property based board game known as 'Mr Nobbly' grin

SalopianGirl Fri 25-Sep-09 16:04:58

My DD used to say 'cumbubumber' instead of cucumber,
asked for a 'chocolate cat' when she meant kitkat
& now (she's 7) gets confused with coleslaw calling it 'salad claw'.

twirlymum Fri 25-Sep-09 16:18:51

hostible - hospital

JetLi Fri 25-Sep-09 19:27:29

spanky is scampi

RubysReturn Fri 25-Sep-09 19:29:02


Plonker Fri 25-Sep-09 19:31:33

Dd3 (2.2) asked me fasten her kangaroos yesterday (dungarees grin)

KirstyJC Fri 25-Sep-09 19:34:06

My nearly 6yo still says chimberley for chimney. Makes me chuckle every time!

He also says george carriageway instead of dual carriageway?!?

cluckyagain Fri 25-Sep-09 19:34:31

Helicopters were 'hairycocks'.....dh and I would search the sky for them on walks!

HeadFairy Fri 25-Sep-09 19:37:40

My cousin used to refer to Farmer Christmas when he was little, and I always called a record player a record Claire. Fizzy became sivvy. So far ds has irritatingly clear diction

apostropheisback Fri 25-Sep-09 20:22:47

DS1: mummy, do all cars have divorce pipes?

hormonesnomore Fri 25-Sep-09 21:05:12

My DD used to say 'red liquorice' instead of ridiculous.

angelene Fri 25-Sep-09 21:07:53

Highsical Musical - too cute to correct
Pisgetti bolognese

My favourite ever though was Ketchup Boys for the Pet Shop Boys!

McDreamy Fri 25-Sep-09 21:13:46

It's not my children as much as my dad - he's great at this!

Offered me a cup of coffee at the weekend - shall I make it in the cafeteria (cafetiere)

Ieka (Eye ee ka) - Ikea

Old timers - Alzheimers

Cheesus - Jesus

Arthur Ritis - Arthritis

The children have

The space room - spare room
DD once asked, after finding out her grandad's name was Ray, if it was like "Ray in a manger"

Narketta Fri 25-Sep-09 21:15:55

DS 3.5yrs used to call magazines - Maggiebeans.

Apparently our house is mavisse not massive. I wish.

mamakoukla Fri 25-Sep-09 21:18:36

Cak for cat; apparently it's a big one as well!

hormonesnomore Fri 25-Sep-09 21:35:35

I love this grin

Angelene - my DD used to say pisgetti too.

And ambliance & hostible

My gran used to say

stenello heels - (stiletto)
balinka - (bikini)
Domestos corned beef (Fray Bentos)

Scottie22 Fri 25-Sep-09 21:50:56

...I don't ask my 2 yo dd to say 'Clock' in public as she misses out a vital letter!!! smile

MarmMummy Fri 25-Sep-09 21:54:51

My 3 yo has started to eat rice crispies and calls them 'crap, snapple and pop'!!

GiraffesAndDucksSayQuack Fri 25-Sep-09 21:56:19

Bum-witch for Thomas hmm

5inthebed Fri 25-Sep-09 21:57:53

DS1, for years, called crabs "craps".

And ds2 insists a crocodile is called a crocodaniel.

fatzak Fri 25-Sep-09 22:12:26

DS is 4 and is still asking for a bouncy-leen for the garden grin

aristocat Fri 25-Sep-09 22:18:03

wood pigeons for 'wood chippings'

fruitshootsandheaves Fri 25-Sep-09 22:20:23

Marks and Spensive

Picante Sat 26-Sep-09 11:21:50

Now Marks and Spensive is pretty spot on!

Trikken Sat 26-Sep-09 11:51:48

my gran calls dvd's 'VD's' bless her.

NannyBeth Sat 26-Sep-09 14:18:41

my middle charge (3) is constantly asking for certain "diveos" :D

noddyholder Sat 26-Sep-09 14:22:08

My ds was always talking about serandello(cinderella)and came home from school one day asking for a thoopamama and was crying when we didn't know what he wanted teacher later told us he had been dressing up in a suit of armour!he is 15 now and still makes little sense

LissyGlitter Sat 26-Sep-09 14:38:00

A yellow lollipop is a lello wollipop. We can sit with her for ages, and all we get is " l l l l wollipop".

Gumbo is "come home"

I will try and think of more...

ddilemma Tue 29-Sep-09 23:30:17

Fatzak love the bouncyleen so descriptive grin
DS 3.5 did Farmer Christmas last year, this year we are waiting for 'Palloween' (no mummy it's not Halloween it's Palloween) ??! also looked at my elbow, asked what it was called and when I asked him again a couple of days later, informed me that it was 'knickers'.

Both my dd and my nephew now ask to watch diddlepiss - gigglebiz!

DS1 used to say
Father Christmas - Father Pissmass...never failed to make us giggle
Milk was Malk
Liam was Miam
Animal - Aminal

DS2 says Deptoe for Steptoe and son
Root - foot
Ni Ni - Nicola

IvaNighSpare Wed 30-Sep-09 08:01:43

Had a lovely moment at the school gates when DS, then 3, announced:
"Look, mummy, I can throw sticks"

Except he had a habit of pronouncing "st" as "d" and confusing "throw" with "blow"....


PigeonPair Wed 30-Sep-09 13:33:37

I was driving DS (four and half) to school the other day when this guy pulled out in front of me. I said "you arsehole" and DS pipes up "why did you say that mummy" Bugger, I thought, have been caught out. I said, "I didn't say anything darling" and he replies "yes you did, you called that man an Arsenal!!! Phew - got away with it that time!

Iklboo Wed 30-Sep-09 13:37:37

Ds (3.10) announced he does not like the look of ratatooty (ratatouile)

He used to say blackcurrant without the use of 'black', either of the r's or the a

flimflammum Wed 30-Sep-09 13:39:47

DS pointed to a picture of a large orange ape and said, 'Look, there's a meringue utan'.

A few from when my brothers and sisters were small

Wheeeeeeeeel - in tones of great excitment - snail

Gunti - hamster (never figured this one out)

and my bro when we lived in France begged to go 'au bord de la merde' every weekend which always made my mother laugh. Especially as we had previously lived near Minehead. grin

GhostMoon Wed 30-Sep-09 13:55:19

DS runs around demanding "BEER BEER"!

What he's after is Ribena. blush

BornToFolk Wed 30-Sep-09 13:59:19

boobellies - blueberries
wobbellies - wallabies

Iggle Piggle is Inner Piggle.

Snails were snagels were quite some time but sadly no more. sad

And the best one:

Labellybirds for ladybirds.

toffeeapple Wed 30-Sep-09 19:53:31

Dd: Drummer classes (drama classes)
Ds: Fack you (thank you)
Brandad (grandad)

VirginiaLoveGlove Wed 30-Sep-09 19:56:40

ogglers - binoculars
u-cuter - computer

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Wed 30-Sep-09 20:00:42

not a mispronounciation as such but DS2 calls father christmas "BIG JESUS"
my elderly friend says pashio - patio and antibionics instead of antibiotics.

MrsHarry Wed 30-Sep-09 22:41:34

Dd (2):
Emily is Enemy
Moorhen (on our local canal) is Moorchicken
Thank you is Wank you blush

lucysmum Wed 30-Sep-09 22:50:37

I am apparently the church trespasser (treasurer)

scribble = squirrel
tejavillain = television
trabelling = travelling
hopsital = hospital
mybena = Ribena
penis = Venus (the fire truck in fireman sam! grin)

tothesea Wed 30-Sep-09 23:18:43

heli clop clop for helicopter
coffee for copy - as in 'stop coffeeing me'
willa for vanilla

I get DS to say assistant cos it comes out mnasstiment - and its so funny, ahem.... hope I don't give him complex

ddilemma Wed 30-Sep-09 23:26:56

More from the DS today - 'don't dry your hands on the COFFEE towel' ??
What's a house called with no stairs? Ah yes I remeber a Bombelow.

WundaWumman Wed 30-Sep-09 23:30:12

DD1 has grown out of this now but we still refer to 'quinch' rather than 'quiche' and salt & bigglier crisps. Mind you, she has only just stopped throwing the jabblelin at school sports - she's 12!

QwertyQueen Wed 30-Sep-09 23:40:33

Cuban cumber instead of cucumber

Monty100 Wed 30-Sep-09 23:42:59

My niece - Humble drier.

Was yeeeeeeeeeeeers ago when 'humble driers' were very innovative. Used to make me grin

StableButDeluded Wed 30-Sep-09 23:43:10

My DS loves 'Power Angels'

We sing 'Daisy, Daisy' at bedtime and he thinks one of the lines goes 'I can't afford a garage'

And 'I didn't hit you Mummy, it was just hard smoothing' hmm

He used to say 'cuter' for computer and once told his nana that when she fell asleep she looked like a 'Ginch' (the Grinch) luckily she had no idea what he meant.

My gran used to come out with some crackers, often tv-related:

Hi-O-Five = Hawaii 5-0
Mortis Regis = Rigor Mortis
Ooh La Ooh La = 'Allo 'Allo

StableButDeluded Wed 30-Sep-09 23:44:48

Oh, I forgot the Veedeeveedee (DVD)

Dysgu Wed 30-Sep-09 23:45:41

Not a mispronunciation - but getting out of the car today and seeing the neighbour's cat, DD1 (3yo) announced, "Let's get out and see my pussy." grin

benandoli Wed 30-Sep-09 23:47:01

my now 7 year old used to call midges in the garden midgets and would not be persuaded otherwise! Used to cunjour up an image of midgets with wings !

thell Wed 30-Sep-09 23:47:44

My friend's kids say Bumpaline for Trampoline, which is quite cute.
When our DD first started talking she couldn't say Shirt properly...

monkeysavingexpertdotcom Wed 30-Sep-09 23:50:28

Love some of these.

We have ice-cream that is either "Valinna" or "Chocolate Chipmunk", and we used to have "Auction Puddings" with our roast beef.

LauraIngallsWilder Wed 30-Sep-09 23:55:08

Evolva-lution = evolution

Sadi ArAbia = saudi arabia

Marsel airs = place in france that I cant spell blush Marseilles?

fAgin = Fagin (oliver twist)

Ds is 8 and loves reading but doesnt know phonics so I hear lots of amusing new words every day

fabhead Thu 01-Oct-09 00:08:08

flamingos are flingos which always make me laugh thinking of people picking up by the leg and flinging them around.

Housemum Thu 01-Oct-09 00:22:40

DD1 - Ostrich was an "orshit"
DD2 - magazines were "mazzamines"
DD3 - not speaking yet...

rachyh85 Thu 01-Oct-09 00:24:32

my little miss (2.4) says everyday when we get her coat on "Tetoaton" i dont know if i usually say this fast to her but shes certainly made it her own!
and also, on the way to nursery, dd loves to tell people "am goin to ruff-ree" so many things she says and people just look at me and smile... "what did she say?" blush
bless, love them though!

rachyh85 Thu 01-Oct-09 00:27:03

oh, and "thats it" becomes "that shit". its a nice ending to our bedtime stories....grin

Housemum Thu 01-Oct-09 00:27:29

WE had one like that - DD2 called bibs, "bibbons" because we always told her we were putting a bib on.

Housemum Thu 01-Oct-09 00:28:04

didn't mean to shout "we" there...

TinyPawz Thu 01-Oct-09 00:38:33

hittotamamus....and she will not be corrected.

Deeeja Thu 01-Oct-09 01:42:01

Ds1 would say something was 'cockenen' for broken
inside a pedia = encyclopedia

Ds2 called an octopus an opitus

ds4 says vink instead of drink, and if I ask him does he want a vink, he gets very angry shouting 'no! a vink!'
He says cock for clock,
a tatterfiller turns into a futterfly
bubbeebee goes bzzz
an ambience takes you to the hotstool if you have had an axe stood.

Deeeja Thu 01-Oct-09 01:45:43

Spaghetti is betty. He always explains patiently "I don't like betty"

poguemahone Thu 01-Oct-09 02:31:13

Nice dolly (ice lolly)

Jayzo Thu 01-Oct-09 03:01:38

OK, not a mispronunciation, but still...

DD(10), after falling off a log face-first into shrubbery during a day out at the forest, said "I just got a face full of bush!"
Much childish giggling ensued between partner and I grin

tjtheminx Thu 01-Oct-09 03:24:02

Sitting in car outside the offie last weekend (I know... I know....)
DS 2.5 says "daddy go buy bockle wit money mommy??"
Me: " yes, daddy likes a bottle or two at the weekend"
DS: "bockle give daddy boo boo. should drink water"

DD1 confuses -en with -ed. As in: 'Nemo got scoopen up by that diver.' and my favorite, when DD2 has managed to get hold of stuffed Nemo and slobber on him: 'Oh no! Nemo's been EATED!'

She sings oranges and lemons in her little warbly voice but 'when will you pay me' always comes out 'ven you vill pay me' like a Russian debt collector.

Romanarama Thu 01-Oct-09 07:31:33

Flippers for slippers (have never corrected this as it makes me smile at 6.30am every day).

diveo for video, and a whole load of weird mixups as they are trilingual, and do some direct translation guesswork when they're not sure smile

Oh, and I love boomerangs for meringues!

em83 Thu 01-Oct-09 08:18:51

dont know if any of u are familiar with "grandpa in my pocket" on cbeebies? well it was on the other day and my ds whos nearly 7 (2 old 4 cbeebies but watching it with his 2 younger sisters) said i wish i had a "shrinking crap" !!!!
he meant shrinking cap !!!!!!!!!!! grin

my ds also says mavisse instead of massive and has a bit of an obsession with telling people how boys have willys and girls dont at the moment. which wasnt too bad until he decided to come out with 'i've got a little willy, daddy's got a MAVISSE willy!!' blush

also asks to go in the alligator (elevator)

rosieposey Thu 01-Oct-09 08:36:03

I have been calling M&S Marks and Spensive for nearly 15 years as my teen used to call it that grin another favourite of hers was 'Ampiries' after she saw the film 'The little Vampire'

mrsjuan Thu 01-Oct-09 08:46:14

My sister used to call weetabix 'milkabilks' and I once came home from school to find my toys on the radiator having been washed and declared that they were 'all sodding wet'. I think I meant sopping.

troutpout Thu 01-Oct-09 08:48:03

'kippers' (hiccups)

troutpout Thu 01-Oct-09 08:48:54

ds also said Marks and spensive's been known by that in our house ever since

DD refers to Breakfast as FrupFrup, Programes as Crambones & Sausages as Sicky hmm

DS is 14 months & everything is either Dada or Gaa - he nearly got my into serious trouble when he started shouting Dada very loudly & DH's work colleague & getting very excited blush

imaginestrictlytwirlynamehere Thu 01-Oct-09 08:56:38

Ladyevenstar dd1 (3) says malk too - makes me laugh
redtriangle - rectangle
cddd -dvd

Last week I spent a whole morning working out what Baabel wap was, bubble wrap!

Fireman Sam cheese - Parmesan cheese
Chicken Dale - Chip and Dale

lillypie Thu 01-Oct-09 09:01:15

DD says she is sweepy when tired
Cinderella - Cinderbrella
Peterpan - Peterpat

and for some reason guitar is cuntar blush

MmeLindt Thu 01-Oct-09 09:03:47

When DD was about 2yo she sneezed and got some snot on her cardigan. She wailed, "Maaaaaaaaaamaaa, I have got bless you on my cardi"

DS always wanted a higgy-pack up the stairs to bed

addictedtomn Thu 01-Oct-09 09:14:32

i went in to a shop with my 2yo brother and needed some help from an assistant. my db started pointing at the man i was asking help from and saying gary, gary. the man looked and said my name isnt gary its xxxx. and db kept saying no you gary, you gary. que puzzled looks from the man.

he was tatooed all over and had a couple of peircings in - my db was actually saying scary! i was trying not to laugh and i couldnt tell him what he was actually saying


We live near Canary Wharf, and often shop there, the other day DD asked if we were going to "hairy wolf" she also calls a watch a clock but unfortunately can't quite sound out the L.....

DS used to call Morrisons Marge Simpsons for many many years. In fact he's only just stopped it and he's 7 grin

Dd1 loves aminals and enjoys going to the cimena and playing on the coopooter. She also likes dropping 1st syllables, and irritatingly I can't think of an example even though she does it every day all the time

feleant= elephant
donden't= didn't
cumber= cucumber
fok = fork

ParisFrog Thu 01-Oct-09 09:28:46

nitbits = biscuits
bayboles = polos [hmmm]
rice peam = ice cream

isittooearlyforgin Thu 01-Oct-09 09:34:55

When the Abba song comes on dd (5) sing "Here we go again, marmite, "

addictedtomn Thu 01-Oct-09 09:36:07

oh my favirote is week-a-bic-kits = wheat-a-bix

thegrammerpolicesic Thu 01-Oct-09 09:43:47

Monsturiser for moisturiser - it makes me look like a monster maybe grin

Arsed Thu 01-Oct-09 09:44:49

Cock - chocolate blush
motnus - hippopotamus
ban-nad - grandad

Stayingsunnygirl Thu 01-Oct-09 09:45:41

Addicted - ds1 used to call weetabix 'EBC', and breakfast was designated as 'EBCbowlspoon.'

furrycat Thu 01-Oct-09 09:46:02

My four-year-old told me that he'd asked the dinner lady at school if he could have pasta rather than roast dinner for lunch but couldn't "because it was for the hungarians"


purlease Thu 01-Oct-09 09:48:25

DD asked for chicken yoghurts in a restaurant one day which had me very confused until she explained to me that it was what she had when she was with her cousins -chicken nuggets smile.
She also refers to things as inscusting (disgusting).

addictedtomn Thu 01-Oct-09 09:49:00

oh when another of my brothers got his as results back 2yo db was convinced he had ceebebies!

he got c,b,b

maloofysmum Thu 01-Oct-09 09:50:05

My dd when she was little called Broccoli "bollix" very embarrassing in Sainsburys blush and my ds says he'll "be after me" if I'm ill instead of look after me.

mrsmortenharket Thu 01-Oct-09 09:53:46

oh y am crying with laughter at some of these they are soooo cute

bisketti = spaghetti
mazaleen = magazine
they sound so cute i haven't the cold heart to correct her grin

my sister used to say sketchels for seychelles and my brother used to say berkels for my mom's cigarettes.

BirdyArms Thu 01-Oct-09 09:53:51

Shall we knead the bread with our nipples mummy? (knuckles)

addictedtomn Thu 01-Oct-09 09:57:27

he often asks if he can go fark what he means is can he go to the park

addictedtomn Thu 01-Oct-09 09:58:15

oh and his latest one is 'oh my dog' in stead of OMG

DD (4): Mummy can I have a cat flap. She meant Kit Kat

stirlingstar Thu 01-Oct-09 10:02:18

Poft Splay Area = Soft Play Area

DH - What story would you like tonight?
DS1 - The gay one
DH - ??
DS1 - The GAY one!
DH - ??
DS1 - With the GAYEE bear!
DH - Oh, the "scary" one...

And this morning, DH is toasting a bread roll:
DS1 - "I want hot buns"

alana39 Thu 01-Oct-09 10:06:12

DS1 called the Fat Controller something that sounded like the fuckontrolleter for months.

2girls2love Thu 01-Oct-09 10:08:57

DD1 4.5yrs still calls a trampoline a 'jumpaline' and daddy is always working on his 'pooter'.

She used to call a sieve a 'fizz' and flip flops 'flop flops' Sad that she doesn't say these any more cos quite cute.

When we were peeling an orange once she did ask me if I would 'take the pith' DH and I had trouble keeping a straight face.

DM does this all the time, the current favourite is that Marco Pierre White is 'Marco Polo White'

CJCregg Thu 01-Oct-09 10:13:46

DD has just started Reception and is enjoying going to Collective Worth-it.

YommyMommy Thu 01-Oct-09 10:32:17

LOL, some of these are brilliant!

My DS 3..."Look mummy theres a robert in the garden" = Robin red breast in the garden! lol!

yogart = ogart
tomato sauce = mato de sauce (no joke)
His second name is mckenzie = Dakenzie
apple - napple
The list goes on...

He also sings blah blah black sheep, but sings the last few lines "one for the master, one for today and one for the little boy who lives down the drain" lol!

x x x

PuppyMonkey Thu 01-Oct-09 10:34:22

DD1 always used to call the kitchen "the chicken." And the utility room was the "tivity room."

PuppyMonkey Thu 01-Oct-09 10:36:48

Our little friend, four year old, also says "misappeared" instead of "disappeared." I like her version better. grin

loujay Thu 01-Oct-09 10:37:47

My sister (now 36) used to call ravioli - ballyrolly..........and we all still call it that years later!!

AntdamnTheDM Thu 01-Oct-09 10:44:49

DS (4)
He cant pronounce cucumber, and instead call it a computer smile

ribena - lambeena - which sounds like he is saying lamb bhuna

Airplane - hairoplane

helicopter - helichopter

AntdamnTheDM Thu 01-Oct-09 10:46:30

oh forgot

smokerettes - cigarettes

mazgeens - magazines

bruffin Thu 01-Oct-09 10:47:14

DD used to call it Marks Expensive as well!

Niknak21 Thu 01-Oct-09 10:50:34

gogurt instead of yoghurt, sad when he learnt to say it correctly

addictedtomn Thu 01-Oct-09 10:50:41

oh you reminded me yommymummy when db sings twinkle twinkle it goes

twinkle twinkle little star
how i wonder what you are
up a bob a builder high
like a dinasaur in the sky
twinkle twinkle little star
how i wonder what you are

its so cute in his little 2yo singing voice no one will correct him!

Niknak21 Thu 01-Oct-09 10:53:24

oh and Buzzlightyear was something similar to todger, well that's what nursery thought

QueenOfFlamingEverything Thu 01-Oct-09 10:54:08

DD has just asked me "What did cats evaporate from?" after a discission about evolution!

chickatee Thu 01-Oct-09 10:56:22

When DS was younger he used to call cornflakes "porncakes" blushgrin, and he used to say the weather was froggy, instead of foggy.

He is 5.5 now and he still calls the doorbell the "dingbell".

He came home from school yesterday and announced that 2 children in his class were the "little warnings" hmm. I asked him to elaborate and he said "y'know, they pick up the rubbish at the end of breaktime (litter wardens!)

When my older DS was little he told me one day that a new boy had joined his class at school and he was from Little Mania (Lithuania) grin

lostinwales Thu 01-Oct-09 10:57:11

DS2 (7) uses sniffles for smell ie 'what sniffles nice in here' so cute we've all started to use it.
DS3 (2.5) not so cute, as when he says another tractor it comes out as mutha facker, and we live in a very rural area...

OrmIrian Thu 01-Oct-09 10:57:37

zimzamzee - chimpanzee.

wobbly - wallaby.

I like those particularly.

Oh we also have...

yoyurt - yoghurt
duce - juice
har - car
ky - sky
ea - tea
nin nins - dinner
ickle - iggle piggle

but my nightmare fav one is

bobwecan said as one word and meaning can we fix it yes we can

mankymummymoo Thu 01-Oct-09 11:04:33

Fucking troller = fat controller
tomatees - smartees
construction book - instruction book

FairMidden Thu 01-Oct-09 11:14:00

DS confused us this morning by repeatedly asking for "moohear". Eventually worked out he wanted me to sing Old Macdonald Had a Farm grin

lostinwales Thu 01-Oct-09 11:19:49

Ha TLE may have to borrow 'bobwecan' for my house, that's brilliant! grin

Mmmmcoffee Thu 01-Oct-09 11:30:15

DD used to say lello for yellow, aminal (I think that's pretty common), mimit for "a minute", sinbwella for cinderalla.

We used to ask her to say "Can Cinderella have a yellow animal in a minute" and then we'd all fall about laughing.

MrsBadger Thu 01-Oct-09 11:31:18

yoghurt is a hard word

dd calls them Aggurts

LOL Lost you can borrow it but only if you sing it offkey to the theme tune repeatedly....for what seems like eternity the length of the title song lol.

Mmmmcoffee Thu 01-Oct-09 11:33:36

My mum is lovely, she says Leonor for Lenor, and does her dishes with Fairy-Up liquid.

Nothing beats when I was a teenager and she told me I'd be dis-a-fucking-pointed with my exam results! That's a standard in our house now.

Bettymum Thu 01-Oct-09 11:38:36

These are lovely
DD's (20 months) cutest one is pengmin instead of penguin. I deliberately keep rereading the Snail and the Whale so I can point to the picture and say "what are these?"
She calls pigeons Pingmins

ginnny Thu 01-Oct-09 11:44:10

DS2 is 6 now and he told me he had had Chicken Philip for lunch at Nannies.

(It was Chicken Fillet grin!!)

DottieB Thu 01-Oct-09 11:45:34

Thanks everyone, I've been crying with laughter!! Here are mine...
Tiss twit = twist it
Pirate light = pilot light
Don't take the peas, mummy (had made a picture on the plate with her dinner and was "helping out" by eating some of it)
I'm boring = I'm bored
Wizard drier = reservoir (as in "Can we take the dogs to the wizard drier daddy?", took us a while to work out!)

PiggyPenguin Thu 01-Oct-09 11:46:52

DS1 used to say 'fire maker' instead of 'fire engine'.

Our local engine used to have a habit of parking up outside sainsburys and doing a sandwich run at lunch time and if we saw them he'd get very excited and yell 'fire maker, fire maker' at the top of his voice. They were very perplexed.

whoingodsnameami Thu 01-Oct-09 11:49:06

DT2 tells people I go to the gym so I will get strong muffles.grin

mumsiebumsie Thu 01-Oct-09 11:55:44

When I was younger, I liked to sit for dinner in the seat closest to the kitchen door. Mum always used to tell me to close the door otherwise "the DRAFT will get me" (i.e. it was chilly) so I always closed the door. If anyone opened the door I'd cry hysterically and apparently no one knew why.

Years later I was able to articulate that I didn't want the door open as the "GIRAFFE" would get me.

Can't wait till my baby sprouts and I can have these experiences - they're so cute.

Picante Thu 01-Oct-09 11:57:43

Blimey this thread has taken off!

grin at all of these. Thanks!

breadmummy Thu 01-Oct-09 12:00:51

little L constantly calls his cutlery "forking knife".
was also told the other day that he was cunting his bricks. i really hope he was trying to say counting!!!!!!
my partner and i rarely swear and its getting rather scary! blush

JulesJules Thu 01-Oct-09 12:19:10

DD1 used Fablious for fabulous, Stylitch for stylish, and Lunk for lunch.

DD2 - (who doesn't like salad) Lettuce is for Caterkillers

All standard pronounciations in our house now.

Kateaw Thu 01-Oct-09 12:22:12

Vermilla - a flavour of ice cream
Slounger - to sit on while sun bathing
Wep wipes - for wiping your bum
Insplore - look around
Insplode - it goes bang
Plocky - suction cup (her toothbrush has plocky feet)

She's five

Also there was a boy in her class at nursery who is hearing impaired. I always pictured him in a black cowl, holding a scythe because according to her he is Death...

hootyfish Thu 01-Oct-09 12:22:27

My only just 3 DS told me they'd done a firehammer at nursery the other day hmm

He meant fire drill!

kittywise Thu 01-Oct-09 12:23:37

dc's call it insect day instead of inset daysmile

Maggie34Behave Thu 01-Oct-09 12:28:58

my then five year old telling younger brother to be careful of cables as you don't want to be electric shooted. Well exactly!

DD, when she forgot, would say she had a bad remembery.

clementines were lemonclines.

my ds also ask if he can have his roof on (hood up)

shivster1980 Thu 01-Oct-09 12:44:40

My DS age 3 still says "Exsnooze me" It's still so cute.

Worryingly I still call towels tallows as that was the word I used as a little un. So do my Mum and my brother. blush

Cadmum Thu 01-Oct-09 12:45:25

We've had:
Hippolotamus for Hippopotamus
Cuggle for meld of Hug and Cuddle
Hormendous for Horrendous/humungous
Jumpoline for Trampoline (which seems almost standard on MN)
dd1 (3 at the time) once asked if she was being haved.

dd2 (3) is often heard saying: "That is not going to happened! It is a 'diculous" plan!"

Cadmum Thu 01-Oct-09 12:46:47

I can't believe that I forgot the use of the word loud as a verb. Both dss used to accuse people of loudying.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern Thu 01-Oct-09 12:51:54

DS 3.5 (has some speech delay)

It's a FUCK!!! (it's a flag)
Dog Shite! (dark outside)
Short Arse (shoulders)

My freind was weeing more than a little bit atme trying to figure out what DS meant this morning while I was on the phone and he was running about shouting SHORT ARSE!!! grin
When I finally got it she said she liked what it sounded like better than the truth.

StrictlyAvadaKedavra Thu 01-Oct-09 12:54:55

My 2yo ex-charge loved the film Migh Hoo Scusical grin

kando Thu 01-Oct-09 12:59:52

DD3 says "gotfor" instead of forgot, "horeshead" for forehead and nappy snack instead of nappy sack (at which I chuckle every time!)

When DD1 was little she used to call a restaurant a "restranaunt". Some of these are hilarious!

kando Thu 01-Oct-09 13:01:25

... and another one I've just remembered from dd2: "Mummy look, there's a car without a lid on" as a convertible drove past!

DS announced to all my friends in the school playground that mummy liked sexercise. blush

Mmmcoffee Thu 01-Oct-09 13:09:27

We taught the kids about bugs and creepy-crawlies at MumsnTots. DD got home, saw ants on the path and sat there singing "Buggers, buggers, buggers" at them.

My friends son couldnt say TR, pronounced it F. Used to yell "Fuck!" every time he saw a big lorry.

Not really a mispronounciation, but an amusing alliteration mix up all the same.

I arrived at nursery to pick up DS who was about 4 at the time for the teacher to relay this to me.

Teacher: We had a moment today.
Me: Oh?
Teacher: Yes, DS asked me for a cacky, and I didn't know what he meant so I asked if he meant a cookie...
(I'm already inwardly trying not to laugh... cacky was our family name for a 'poo').
... he kept insisting, no I want a cacky, not a cookie until eventually, to shut me up, I think, he said 'Ok, can I have a cacky and a cookie?

When I explained what a cacky was both the teacher (who was male, by the way) and I were laughing so hard. He'd worked it out eventually when DS became exasperated and took the teachers hand to drag him to the toilet 'A cacky, I want a cacky!' He got a cookie, too, for giving the teacher such a laugh. smile

LadyBuzz Thu 01-Oct-09 13:16:36

My DS1 loves dressing up as Buzz Lighter and always asks to go to the early whirly centre.

He has a jumpoline too!

my DS (whos now 10) used to call ice lollys "lob lobs" even now we still call them that!

theagedparent Thu 01-Oct-09 13:20:54

On holiday my dd asked to go back to the show and tell (hotel) also why was I shaving my crumpets (armpits).

MayorNaze Thu 01-Oct-09 13:22:16

dd2 is desperate for a pantyleen

dd1 likes hippitypotomouses

ds insisted for a long time that our local paper was called the gusset

translations? trampoline, hippopotomus and gazette grin

MorePudding Thu 01-Oct-09 13:23:53

My 5yo had a "sausage dog" for lunch (hot dog). Had visions of a daschund in a bread roll.

LimburgseVlaai Thu 01-Oct-09 13:28:35

My 7yo dd is obsessed with Harry Potter. It has obviously rubbed off on our 2yo dd, who goes around shouting:

*Smelly armus!!*

... while waving an imaginary wand.

(For the muggles among you: "Expelliarmus!)

KEAWYED Thu 01-Oct-09 13:29:31

My son used to like playing with Dicks and shouting about it loudly

This was before he learnt to say stick

Stigaloid Thu 01-Oct-09 13:30:12

DS (2.2) can't say 'tr' so when he wants to play with his truck it is always

'i want to play with fuck'

He calls my boobs 'boogi-woogie-woogies'

He calls sunscreen 'ice-cream'

KEAWYED Thu 01-Oct-09 13:30:57

DS1 came home from a party and said mum you know the song guerilla

Started singing it to the Thriller tune I love things like that

LimburgseVlaai Thu 01-Oct-09 13:33:14

Oh and our 7yo dd calls conditioner (for your hair): "air conditioning".

suwoo Thu 01-Oct-09 13:36:08

I had a parcel from Lush which was filled with popcorn as the packaging instead of polystyrene.

DS was very taken with the popcorn, but unfortunately was calling it cockporn grin.

morningpaper Thu 01-Oct-09 13:43:20

My DD kept telling me that she didn't like Anya as nursery

took me WEEKS before I realised she meant 'lasagne'

lostinwales Thu 01-Oct-09 13:43:28

LOL, my DH asked for cockporn at the cinema not once but twice. Can't type this without giggling at his face once he realised what he'd said.

morningpaper Thu 01-Oct-09 13:43:34


lostinwales Thu 01-Oct-09 13:45:11

Cross post, that last one was in response to suwoo, not just a boast about my husband being embarassing.

morningpaper Thu 01-Oct-09 13:46:12

When I lost one of my flip-flops my DD asked me very serious if I'd lost 'the flip or the flop'

IWantAChickAndADuck Thu 01-Oct-09 13:49:05

DS1 (3.5) likes arse-creams.

He used to call breakfast bretchin.

Some of these are great...

Takver Thu 01-Oct-09 13:51:18

LOVE these.
DD (now age 7) used to get 'nins and peedles' when her foot felt funny. When she was tiny she was convinced that woodlice were called woodmice.
DH taught her to play the card game Knaves recently - she was asking to play it again the other day 'you know dad, that game we played, what was it - Kneevils'. So, now we play Kneevils after tea grin

gorionine Thu 01-Oct-09 13:54:44

LOL at all yours!

I seem to be the one in the family to have problems pronouncing things.

I was saying to DD4 (soon to be 3yo)"oh you're a big girl!" she looked at me with very angry eyes and replied very insulted : "NO!! I am NOT Igglepiggle!!""

angelene Thu 01-Oct-09 13:54:49

DD calls her microphone the 'michaelphone'.

gingerwine Thu 01-Oct-09 14:12:09

This is all very funny! I haven't got any housework done cos I've been reading it!
This morning DS(6) said "That light is bryning very shitely" (shining very brightly).
The television screen is a television scream!
My brother used to say fift lork instead of fork lift.

lupa Thu 01-Oct-09 14:12:11

Thingers and flumbs.

Talihay Thu 01-Oct-09 14:18:40

Paddles instead of nipples!

Every time DD falls over she yells out 'Mummy, I have fallen on my dignity' which is not a mispronounciation but it the funniest thing when she does it in public and everyone looks aghast! grin

She also told me to 'stop being so canwankerous' the other day. (I assume she meant cantankerous!)

PurpleEglu Thu 01-Oct-09 14:27:26

DS2 (2.1) says Fire gin gin

Moontheloon Thu 01-Oct-09 14:27:34

My DS1 used to call DVDs Diveos (got confused with videos) we were all calling them diveos until he was about 4.5 and had most of the nursery staff and children calling them diveos as well grin. DS2 calls them DeebbleDs.

We don't watch that many honest blush

SoMuchToBits Thu 01-Oct-09 14:27:44

We used to have Boonalloons instead of balloons. And on one train journey, the train stopped at Stowmarket, Diss and Norwich - ds came out with "Pomarket, Piss and Porridge"!

PurpleEglu Thu 01-Oct-09 14:31:49

Just remembered DS1 (6) still says electricated, for eletrocuted.

gorionine Thu 01-Oct-09 14:38:29

Oh! DS2 used to say nipples instead of knucles!

Conundrumish Thu 01-Oct-09 14:44:57

Basgetti for spagetti (a rather large toddler aged 6!)

Fairies = feathers

Lemony-green - Millenium Green

Madascheese Thu 01-Oct-09 14:47:13

Gorgeous thread!

My DS 3.6 asked me for a hopscotch bun at Easter this year.

He refers to gravy as 'Puddle'


Conundrumish Thu 01-Oct-09 14:48:15

Oh yes, the other day he wanted egg mayo and grass (think he meant cress!).

I just remembered ds1 used to sing Islands in the stream very well and often sang it at karaokes from very young....but everyone had to hold back a giggle when he really belted it out because he ALWAYS sang

Islands INDUSTRY instead

smallone Thu 01-Oct-09 14:48:27

Caterpillar = capa tapa pillar

spiderlight Thu 01-Oct-09 14:49:17

We have 'ballerinas' instead of bananas at our house. We sometimes have them for breff-cust. When grandpa was poorly, we went to visit him at hop-skittle. DS also has troble pronouncing 'c' sounds at the moment and substitutes 't', so when we feed the ducks, they apparently say 'twat twat twat'. We avoid talking about ducks in public.

Conundrumish Thu 01-Oct-09 14:49:45

Angelene - we have a Michael-wave to heat up food!

Lakota Thu 01-Oct-09 14:54:16

DS (age 2) Mummy, mummy, we're having a bargenu with burgles! (a barbeque with burgers)

At 3, he announced that he'd had his hair cut at the barbeque.

I have egg bolognaise in my sandwich.

The ferrari is racing the courgette (Corvette)

Are you wearing clip-clops Mummy? (flip-flops)

I think my favourite was the announcement that his foot had 'poodles and noodles'!

gorionine Thu 01-Oct-09 14:56:11

LOl @ poodles and noodles!

DS 2.6

Clouds are clowns
Sunny day is sunny dame

When he was about 18mo Grey socks were 'gay cocks'

Oh and my cousins DS 6yo calls boobs 'belly bunkers'

StrictlyAvadaKedavra Thu 01-Oct-09 15:11:19

Just remembered another ex mindee used to call bumble bees baked beans grin and for some reason butterflies were teapots, but could never work out her reasoning on that one?!

Eve4Walle Thu 01-Oct-09 15:17:12

DD used to say Sammidge instead of sandwich, which I always thought was cute.

gonepearshaped Thu 01-Oct-09 15:18:45

DS - sea girls for sea gulls - always makes me think of them in little frilly swimsuits.

Snugs and sails for slugs and snails.

Got to stop reading this, co-workers not impressed by (hastily muffled) sniggering grin.

First time we went to visit our new neighbours, having told ds1 that they had new kittens to play with. Neighbour opens the door, ds1 looks up and with a broad grin declares with much excitement,

"We've come to see your titties!"

geogteach Thu 01-Oct-09 15:23:35

DS is deaf and although his communication is good he has a habit of just making something up if he mishears so he likes orange juice from concrete (concentrate) and doesn't like flippy flappy chickens (profiteroles)hmm

MrsBadger Thu 01-Oct-09 15:47:15

dd is also working hard to reproduce the lyrics from her favourite in-car CDs

Abba is generally fine as their diction is pretty good, but the Killers are giving her some trouble: 'I've got soul, mummy, not a soldier...'

belcantwait Thu 01-Oct-09 15:48:34

dd isnt really a toddler- she has just started school. she has obv just started going to assembly and instead of 'jubilate' (sp???) she sings 'lovely latte' grin

Ruby01 Thu 01-Oct-09 15:53:51

My nephew could never say what about me if being left out of something - it was always weeebout me- we still say it and he is 9

zoxa Thu 01-Oct-09 15:55:27

DS1 used to say helitotcot for Helicopter,
Tonki Tanki ooo for Thomas the tank engine
He also used to say Mummy hippo, to mean Mummy help me, I tried not to take that personally....

DS2 used to call a biscuit a spicket and a basket a spacket, at nursery they would ask them to sit with their hands in a basket, so he said he sat with his hands in a spacket.

aaww so cute.

Caz1983 Thu 01-Oct-09 16:09:24

I work with 5 to 6 year olds and we sing 'Who built the ark? Noah, Noah!'. The children, however, sing 'Who built the ark? No-one, no-one!' It always makes me laugh! Also my 26 year old boyfriend still calls spaghetti 'pesghetti' and crisps 'keebers', as he did when he was little!

monkeybumsmum Thu 01-Oct-09 16:09:55

Friends DD - used to say 'bitch' when asked to say 'zip'. Her looking all sweet and innocent whilst saying 'Mummy bitch' was rather amusing...

PANCHEY Thu 01-Oct-09 16:18:10

DD1 (3.5) used to say "wah wah" for squirrel ,"cucumberber", "bamato".

She is currently saying "kiss kiss" for couscous.

Undercovamutha Thu 01-Oct-09 16:28:30

DD (3) still calls the radiator, a Raidy-later.

ForestHillFather Thu 01-Oct-09 16:30:05

pollypops for lollipops; how cute is that?

DD asks for a glass of melonade (lemonade) and tishtingers (fish fingers) followed by nice cream (ice cream) for dud (pud).

And the perennial favourite, very clearly and loudly when she drops something 'oh shit, damn and blast!' (now why is it she can't pronounce 9 out of ten words but anything I shouldn't say in front of her is repeated perfectly?) blush

SuperAmoo Thu 01-Oct-09 16:38:15

I love it when my DD1 asks me to put 'prats' in her hair!

KTNoo Thu 01-Oct-09 16:41:15

DS used to like brown flakes for his breakfast and forgetti for dinner, possibly followed by moustachio ice cream.

Then he would go into the garden to see if he could find any tikkabillas on the leaves.

He still likes to ride on DH's soldiers if we go for a long walk.

WMMC ds2 has the perfect pronounciation of those words too....

t'was not meant to happen! we walked in after a long day out and i switched the tv on realising I had missed start of footy turned to dp and said "oh shit the football" ds2 walked around for months hours after saying "shit ball" blush

cremolafoam Thu 01-Oct-09 16:59:12

No Sassing ( meaning no dancing) We still don't sass!
Patience Fruit (Passion fruit)

SuperAmoo Thu 01-Oct-09 16:59:42

Also my DD1 has inherited my wierd thing with calling pigeons penguins and vica versa. when I see a pigeon, I want to say 'pigeon' but my head's going 'penguin penguin, PENGUIN' and that's what comes out! And the opposite happens when I see a penguin!

PixieOnaLeaf Thu 01-Oct-09 17:21:06

Message withdrawn

My DD is 2.5, we have:

dodert for yoghurt
dodiges for sausages
and any kind of mat is a nap ie "changing nap"
she also asks me if I can "help you" instead of "help me"

So sweet, I really should write them down somewhere because my son had loads, but i don't remember them all now (he's 12!)

Flossytops Thu 01-Oct-09 17:23:23

I can think of loads, but recently my little boy told me how he caught a tennis ball on his 'cough chester' ie chest which made me giggle, and when my daughter was very young she came up and asked me for some 'buckum'-- until I realised she was asking me for some cucumber I thought she'd just sworn at me!! :D

giddykipper Thu 01-Oct-09 17:44:20

My current favourite is 'hospulance' for 'ambulance'.

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 17:46:51

The Lot Less Monster (Loch Ness Monster) - from my 6 and 9 Year olds !

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 17:48:52

Lakota My DS used to say "Noodles and Woozles" instead of pins and needles (I think we'd just been reading Winnie the Pooh - Heffalumps and Woozles)

dd calls her brothers testicles 'tentacles' grin

Vivia Thu 01-Oct-09 17:55:40

My brother as a child referred to the guy from Thomas the Tank Engine as the Fucking Troller.

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 18:00:21

lol Vivia

mygreatauntgriselda Thu 01-Oct-09 18:16:47

LOL at FT grin

Hey you get a fair few of them on MN!!!

My two year old shouts out "Mummie's drink!!!" whenever he sees a bottle of wine in a shop blush

Sazisi Thu 01-Oct-09 18:16:50

DD says 'pins and pens' for pins and needles

MYgreataunt......lucky you ds2 who is also 2 shouts when he sees a bottle of wine in the shop it normally goes like this

ds2: Mamas duce
Me: hmm
Ds2 : Me have
Me no darling your too small
DS2 (at top of voice) Mama duce me more nowwwwwwwwww

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 18:28:52

grin TLE

When DS1 was a toddler he used to get his pronouns mixed up. Hence one day he announced very loudly in a posh shop "Mummy, you've done a poo"

Jamie it is funny but not when you have a shop full of people raising their eyebrows at you lol.

worse thing he has started doing is saying wee wee....well thats not too bad in itself but he was sitting here a few months ago and grabbed his willy looked at me and said "wdat" (whats that) so I said "its your willy" i got a "WHY" in reply and i then said "because thats where you do a wee wee".....NOW whenever he is undressed he grabs his willy and shouts "wee wee". and poor dp and ds1 have him shouting at them too when they are in the on earth am i going to stop him shouting wee wee??? because it is embarrassing!!!

thebody Thu 01-Oct-09 18:49:17

once on a crowded and very quiet train I was talking about how fur kept animals warm in the winter, felt really smug as I was having such an educated conversation with my children,( how wonderful was I as a mother) and he said' Mummy you know all that fur round your bottom, is that to keep you warm' very loudly and very clearly.. red face and laughter from fellow passengers..

thebody lol

mummee09v Thu 01-Oct-09 19:13:47


was on the bus with DS, 3, the other day, there was a picture of an elephant on an advert, he pointed at it and said "mummy look!! theres a fucking elephant!!!!!"


why it wad a "fucking" elephant i will never know!!!!

(need to tone my language down i think.... blush

5inthebed Thu 01-Oct-09 19:46:07

DS1 refers to naked people as "knickered"

DS2 says "crocerdaniels" instead of crocodiles and "McDaniels" instead of McDonalds. He is also called Daniel

My dd1 has quite clear diction, but we get T-ghetti, which is spaghetti, and sostages for sausages.

We were at the seaside the other week and I was eating fish and chips with a pickled onion, she asked whats that, and I said a pickled she turns round and announces at the top of her voice, "Daddy, mummy is a little bit pickled!"

If only....

PurpleEglu Thu 01-Oct-09 19:56:39

Have remembered another one of ours.

We have Jumpolene for trampoline.

whethergirl Thu 01-Oct-09 20:25:12

My ds aged 4 has never called the remote control by it's proper name. First he used to call it the Fat Controller, and now he calls it the Full Control for some reason.

LauraGas Thu 01-Oct-09 20:29:15

Am at home at mo having suffered a stroke over the summer. No lack of movement but speech went to pot for a while. Some classics from me include:

Elephant instead of element (on washing machine)

"I've had a scrote" instead of "I've had a stroke"

and after the initial scan showed I had no tumour delightedly said to the consulatant "so I don't have a tuna then".

Nanga Thu 01-Oct-09 20:31:35

my son always asks for a quick snack to 'get him going' (keep him going)

Jamieandhismagictorch Thu 01-Oct-09 20:33:53

Laura shock . Sorry to hear that. All the best with your recovery ....

< snort at "tuna" >

DS1 aged 2.1 says 'At-choo Mummy' for 'thank you Mummy' So sweet!

'calm your temperatures' for calm your passions
and 'no way horsey' for no way jose!

fedupindarlo Thu 01-Oct-09 21:05:54

Daughter described one of our follicly challenged friends as having a 'boiled' head

CHOCOLATEPEANUT Thu 01-Oct-09 21:21:42

ds calls his dummy his diddy and when hes tired his nana

dd prounces watched as watchedid and the same for looked which is lookedid (i blame phonics)

dd also says vegebuls rather than vegetables and cauliflowers are cauliflower cheeses

and my dad

moira hindley

Mistymoo Thu 01-Oct-09 21:23:43


Pom-poms (boobs)
Nipplets (nipples)
Itchy cards (scratch cards)

gloriana Thu 01-Oct-09 21:28:14

DS1 used to say The Fat C*nt Roller instead of the Fat Controller. V embarassing in public blush

feedthegoat Thu 01-Oct-09 21:31:36

When ds was learning to talk he called me Mooti. This went on for several months.

We took him to London Zoo where he got very excited upon sight of the monkeys 'Look Mooti's!'. One of my pet nicknames for him was Monkeypants. So what I thought was a cute version of mummy was actually monkey!

At the same time he called my mum Baa. We've never discovered why but it has stuck and this is what he now calls her!

Sazisi Thu 01-Oct-09 21:31:49

My nephew used to saw wanker for red car; I'd be pushing him along in the buggy and all the way down the road he'd go "wanker, wanker, wanker" at all the red cars grin

ELM Thu 01-Oct-09 21:37:16

DS age 2: says nibbles instead of nipples

mooki Thu 01-Oct-09 21:52:09

pmsl at Fucking troller.

Air plips instead of hair clips.
DeeBeeDeeBees (DVDs, possibly of Ceebeebies.
A-loon for balloon

London Bridge is falling down, oh dear lady.

hillbilly Thu 01-Oct-09 22:08:03

Soupcase = Suitcase

Love it!

Littleover Thu 01-Oct-09 22:12:22

my dd1 says

"up piss daisy" instead of upsydaisy

DD (2.4) used to say:
Baddit - rabbit
andend - the end

she says them correctly now but she still says:
Ephanant - elephant
Pisketti - spaghetti


mammychildminder Thu 01-Oct-09 22:19:46

friends little boy is always going on holiday in his carrotvan (caravan)
a friends little brother used to call their mam pish air (as in pushchair) because she always pushed him.

hollyhobbie Thu 01-Oct-09 22:19:48

We cross the road every day on the way to school with the 'Lady Pop' (lollipop lady, natch)

ds's latest
umbrolly - umbrella
ikle pickle - iggle piggle
Coffee - coughing

I am so loving some of these on this thread, very cute smile

Caz10 Thu 01-Oct-09 22:45:26

My dd is 22mths and knows what a clock is, watches are also clocks atm, however she can't do the "l" so it's great when she shouts Daddy cock, Daddy cock! when dh turns up wearing his watch!! grin

Cuter though is when she asks me for a kiss and a "duddle" aaawww!

purplejennyrose Thu 01-Oct-09 22:51:38

Laura - I speak like that and I haven't had a stroke!!

Dd1 says 'pisketti' too! Also

weston supermarket for weston super mare (we've never even been there!)

'crockerdoodles' for crocodiles

'niosy cocker' for the cockerel behind her grandmother's house

she says 'imaginate' a lot, and when dd2 spoiled her game the other day, she said ' 'mummy, she stopped my play -I am totally imaginationed!!' and flounced off.

LatinDAISYcal Thu 01-Oct-09 23:15:32

DS1 used to say busgetti for spaghetti and he still says "Please you..May I have?" which is incredibly cute...even if he is seven grin. On the other hand he was talking about President Evil and it took me a while to realise he meant Resident Evil which he had been playing on the PS at a mates house angry

DD calls a roundabout a "turnabout" and says comb-brusher for hairbrush. She has so many and I just can't think of them at the minute...

My three year old nephew used to say Muggers and Doggers grin instead of Mothers and Toddlers which always raised a snort!

LatinDAISYcal Thu 01-Oct-09 23:16:20

puddingchef you reminded me of mty DS1's underbella for umbrella!

mpuddleduck Thu 01-Oct-09 23:42:05

Great thread, grin

I have wanted to share this one with someone all day, when dd came to feed the pigs with me this morning she said "Why do the pigs snog?"
On further questioning she said "You know mummy oink oink"

saggyhairyarse Thu 01-Oct-09 23:54:57

My two year old sings "Mama Meema, here we go again, Marmite, how can I resist ya". Love him

Olihan Thu 01-Oct-09 23:59:03

Eyeflashes - eyelashes
Eyebrowns - eyebrows
Blackc&*%s, it's an oldie but goody grin.

TeamEdwardTango Fri 02-Oct-09 00:00:55

Today I went to see DS1 in his first ever "Harbest Festiball" grin

Olihan Fri 02-Oct-09 00:01:28

Oh, I've just remembered a hilarious (to me, obviously not to most other people!) conversation between ds1 and his friend about Star Wars.

Apparently the baddy is called 'Daft Maud' and they fight with 'light savers' and the goody is called 'Yoga'.


MammKernow Fri 02-Oct-09 00:13:08

DD calls the pet shop 'The goddamn bunny rabbit shop'.

Think she means 'dog and bunny rabbit shop' grin

cheeseandeyeballsarnie Fri 02-Oct-09 00:20:26

hiccups are haircuts.mummy ive got haircutsgrin

clocks are cocks-funny intil stood in post office

Paleodad Fri 02-Oct-09 00:21:28

me: what can you see out of the window DD?
DD: ooh, lots of shits daddy..
me: lots of what?
DD: shits daddy, know, like shits and blankets....

cheeseandeyeballsarnie Fri 02-Oct-09 00:27:57

i forgot the every day ones that are now 'normal' in our house
plips are biscuits
duce is juice
foos is shoes
and the usual nanas for bananas and bapples for apples.

callmeovercautious Fri 02-Oct-09 00:36:55

Fowler - as in Pauline and Martin etc - DD still says Fowlers instead of Flowers grin

Dominique07 Fri 02-Oct-09 02:28:17

DS is 2; I am trying to understand his language most of the time...
Olosh - crisps! (his word)
Yes - horse
doggit - doggy
diggit - biscuit
allah - auntie

Ineedmorechocolatenow Fri 02-Oct-09 05:26:08

DH tried to teach DS to say 'mummy, I need to negotiate'

He came up to me and proudly announced:

'Mummy, I need to go shit'.... grin

MeeMeeMee Fri 02-Oct-09 07:46:45

Skrouts for Sprouts and Grocolli for Brocolli!!

DS2 who is 3 always insists on more "farmers and cheese" on his "bisketti". Have tried telling him how to say parmesan properly and he did for a while but it's back to farmers-and-cheese and it's so cute I haven't the heart to correct him again!

About 6 months ago, he was still saying "fuck" for "plug". grin

Tidey Fri 02-Oct-09 10:32:45

DS used to combine the words video and dvd into 'deeveedideo'. I still use that sometimes.

DD says cock instead of clock too.

HomeTalk Fri 02-Oct-09 11:40:58

Great thread!

My DD who has just started school is convinced that she should not have to wear her school unicorn!

helenabeth Fri 02-Oct-09 11:50:58

Brocalilly - broccoli and hiplops - helicopter.

BoffinMum Fri 02-Oct-09 12:33:54

My fave one is Gordon Brown's son, who allegedly went into nursery and announced his daddy was now Head of the Lady Party.

He can dream!!! grin

At home we have had things like:

Chocolate declares (which it probably does)
Our car, the Four Descort

and with DD when she was about 10:

"Mummy, what's public hair?" <chortle>

Mallenstreak Fri 02-Oct-09 12:48:10

My DS once kept on and on at me to sing him the song about a dog. I said I didn't know what song he was talking about - "you know the one about the spaniel". I eventually realised he meant Y Viva Espana!

He also once said "Mummy your hair is lovely and soft just like a donkey"

elsiepiddock Fri 02-Oct-09 13:08:53

My ds2 cut his elbow at school yesterday.

He gave dh a blow by blow account, including that his teacher had run out of 'anti-social wipes'! grin

Claire2009 Fri 02-Oct-09 13:23:17

DD (3yrs 7mths) says "Sexcercise" for excercise!

Jamieandhismagictorch Fri 02-Oct-09 13:27:04

Sorry, this isn't a mispronunciation as such, but i've been tittering at these. It reminded me of DS2, age about 2, watching the horses go by at The Lord Mayors show:

"They've got lovely bottoms" grin

(I think he meant their tails......)

Hotpants Fri 02-Oct-09 13:31:14

"Mummy can I fuck my thumb?" shock !!!

flossyannie Fri 02-Oct-09 14:30:52

DS (3 years) was happily watching cartoons last night and informed us that one of the characters was called 'Daphne Duck'. Wonder if Daffy knows he's had a sex change...

He's also a great fan of Chicken and Dippers and biscetti, not to mention Bacon and Butters (bacon butties).

muxlo Fri 02-Oct-09 15:51:17

DS1: scaredate for stairgate. Love it!

bbpants Fri 02-Oct-09 15:57:58

We have 'duddle' for cuddle as well.

And for quite a while, the Ninky Nonk was known as 'Nink Nonk Nonk', and the Pinky Ponk was 'big cock' for some reason!

Of course, most amusing until the grandparents came round!

Tolalola Fri 02-Oct-09 16:04:47

20 mo ds calls helicopters 'up-cars', which i like

Indith Fri 02-Oct-09 16:18:07

Ds once came and dragged me out to the garden to show me a dead mouse. He was very excited as he pointed to a specific patch of grass but his face fell as he realised that there was nothing there at all. After examining it in great detail and pondering out loud as to where the dead mouse could have gone he allowed me to go to back inside. Later that day all was revealed as he pointed to a woodlouse and said "there tis! There's the dead mouse!"

I love all the cute fire gengines and babbits and things. Toddlers are ace.

Snozcumber Fri 02-Oct-09 16:52:37

Oh, I love this sort of stuff!!

DD1 had flingo mingos (flamingoes) for ages!

DD2 has just heard her little friend tuck a doll up with "there, safe and sound" followed by weeks of: safe and salad
can't correct her for laughing!!


thrifty Fri 02-Oct-09 18:02:09

grin at these.

ds now 4 said he'd been playing on the bentendo ds. he also says bisgetti, haircups and calls sneezes 'bless you's'

Teeny cock where will it stop (Tweeny clock)

Shamster Fri 02-Oct-09 18:36:00

Daddy Big legs (Daddy long legs)/ Doolicious (delicious): son now 2 and a half.What I love is the way that we start using these sayings. Sorry, can't do the abbreviated thing; have enough trouble remembering all the initials for different stuff at work....blush

HKT Fri 02-Oct-09 18:52:58

It took us ages to work out that Bis Bise Beast was Midnight feast!
And the worst cinema trip was when then3 year old ds asked if he could have cockporn again shock - he meant popcorn

Troley moat (TV remote control)

Nibbles = nipples

Great grandad harry = Great H

Not mispronunciations, but just my daughter's way of putting things:

sunshine bike = deckchair

backdoorneighbourhood = the girls who lived over the back fence

My DS calls jam tarts,......jam hearts bless him!!

Oh just remembered another DS on holiday asked for a blue fluffy puppy,......he meant a blue slush puppy grin

flopalong Fri 02-Oct-09 19:15:31

DS1 was 5 at the time, he was laughing while he drew a picture. I was breast feeding at the time so asked him to show me, he brought it over... "Mum I've drawn you...hehehhe...naked"
hmmm I say, at least you gave me knickers,
"No mum thats your leg eyebrows, took me a while to figure out what he meant lol.
Also my DD2 is always asking for a piss (kiss) very loudly.
DS 2 tells me when his food is "gall bod" (all gone)

Fruitbeard Fri 02-Oct-09 19:16:50

DD has a few

Vermilla = Vanilla

Her boden beach dress is the 'Beast dress' (which we think is a far better name)

And the best one, that has passed into family parlance, is instead of asking 'who did xxx?', she says 'whobody did xxx?' Whobody is fab

Ds (2.10) told me today that 'Macca Pacca blows his strumpet when it's time to wash everyone's faces'.

He doesn't look the type, but I suppse it's more interesting than stones grin!

pointsmakeprizes Fri 02-Oct-09 20:19:11

DS (who's 2.3) blows his nose with 'piss-you' paper and says 'mummy too dissicult' when he needs help. Iggle Piggle is 'Eeeegle Peeegle'. Best of all he says 'I lush mummy' when he's trying to tell me he loves me.

fizzdog Fri 02-Oct-09 20:39:42

DD(4.5) still insists on

Hotelity room = utility room
Fourth head = forehead

Also comes out with lots of spoonerisms most of which I can't remember e.g. jack flap

when she was smaller, 'amma one' for another one or if really frustrated just 'amma amma' shouted at top of her voice

zebramummy Fri 02-Oct-09 21:24:49

joseph and the multicoloured raincoat!!!

AllyOodle Fri 02-Oct-09 21:35:23

We all use my DD's (4) phrase and ask for a *Baby Annabel Cheese* instead of a "mini Babybel cheese".

I love these grin

dairymoo Fri 02-Oct-09 21:46:12

Both my DTs say 'asshole' for castle, and it took and embarassingly long time for DH and I to work out what they were trying to say.

"Mummy, mummy, look, bouncy asshole" finally gave it away...blush

bea Fri 02-Oct-09 21:53:49

when dd2 wants to go without any shoes and socks... she asks can she run around in her 'spare feet' grin

mummyeme Fri 02-Oct-09 21:57:09

Dd calls father christmas, farmer christmas too. Her friend also talks about Baby Cheeses for baby Jesus. The Nativity should be interesting
Dd also changes words around, so McDonalds is Old Mac Donalds! I love the way she calls things and dread the day her friend corrects her.

theslightlypeckishcaterpillar Fri 02-Oct-09 22:01:36

DD1 - milk was mumpf
binoculars - oculass

I used to call a catalogue a catabook

outnumberedbymyboys Fri 02-Oct-09 22:03:36


-'balu balu' for wheelbarrow - was gutted when he got this right.

- 'old Macdonalds'(as in the farmer who also runs the well known fast food joint...). Reckon we must have been watching too much Jamie O in our house!

-again 'marks and spensive' -just too true!

My Gran

-'strimmer -frame'- the picture this conjures up!

bratley Fri 02-Oct-09 22:41:18

Buzz Lightyear is Buzz I-Like-You

Doc Hudson from Cars is Doctor Car
Lightning MqQueen is Like-a-Queen

Boogie Beebies is Boobies, with Booby Pete!


Daddy works in the Harmy

Mummy works at the Hostacle and 'looks at boobies'! (that'll be Daddy explaining my job then hmm)

Grand Old Duke of York is Grandads-Shoes-and-socks!

Our Fat controller is Fat Ch-cola

DS decided to pour his water on the floor one day, I asked him what happened and he shrugged and told me 'my's juice just felled on a floor Mummy'

So many more but I'll have to wait til he starts rambling tomorrow, can't think now...

LunarSea Fri 02-Oct-09 22:48:05

ds1 talking to his friend about Dr Who.... friend "I'm a cyberman", ds1 "I'm a garlic"grin

chewitt Fri 02-Oct-09 22:51:06

Hot day in the car - me: "It's ok I'll put the air conditioning on"
DS: "Mummy put air chicken on" smile

SquirrelTrap Fri 02-Oct-09 22:56:58

Explaining to DS2 about males and females.

So what's daddy?


So what's Grandad?


So what's grandma?

An email

Cadmum Fri 02-Oct-09 23:13:47

Ds2 (4 at the time) declared that his taste buddies were better than ours because his food didn't need seasoning.

Cadmum Fri 02-Oct-09 23:18:32

We had eyebrowns and eyeslashes for a spell. Another one that I was sad to hear self-corrected.

ds2 has had me giggling tonight i asked dp for some monkey nuts and ds2 went around for next hour shouting MANKY nuts....

paranoiabigdestroyer Fri 02-Oct-09 23:51:09

Budding Paxo DS1 aged 9 likes to discuss the affairs of Westminister with us.

We have also had garlic rather than dalek and Farmer Christmas.

KTP Sat 03-Oct-09 08:42:50

After hurting his scrotum at nursery aged 3 (very PC nursery) DS1 started referring to this general area as is 'toastcrumbs'.

This became the preferred word at home, and has even been shortened to 'toasties', as in "ooo, he kicked me in the toasties". All his mates at school refer to them as that! They're now 9. Is this enough usage to contact the Oxford English Dictionary? smile

PatROTinyfeet Sat 03-Oct-09 09:05:03

When my DS was under 3 he could not pronounce his letter L's at all. He also called all timepieces clocks. One day we were travelling on a train and were sitting opposite a man wearing an extraordinarily large watch. DS said in a very loud voice and pointing ''Look at that man's big cock''

twinsplus3 Sat 03-Oct-09 10:11:24

DS 2.6 yrs calls petrol Ketchup and we go to the ketchup station.

Diziet Sat 03-Oct-09 10:42:53

Heehee, PatROTinyfeet, my eldest used to say "clock" like that too... now he is not too bad, but my current favourites are:
"hostible" (hospital), "shoshage" (sausage), "mastom martim" (Aston Martin - he has a tiny toy one, I hasten to add - our car is a Toyota!!) and "tiggar" (guitar). I actually prefer his pronunciation of hospital to the correct one.

ohnelly Sat 03-Oct-09 10:51:05

When we went on holiday we went on a pearplane apparently!

silkcushion Sat 03-Oct-09 12:44:04

my dd (22months) insists on mispronouncing Granny as Gary (even though she can say it properly)

My mother is finding it embarassing now when in public. In Tescos the other day my mother blew a raspberry on dd's hand and dd started shrieking 'dirty Gary'

We find it amusing and are secretly encouraging her to continue

zoxa Sat 03-Oct-09 12:58:34

I love reading all these!

just remembered another, my oldest used to call a sneeze a bless you, as in I've just bless you'd.

wondered why my youngest was calling a sausage a sausagey, he thought that was the singular of sausages, same for sandwich, sandwichy singular of sandwiches, makes sense really!

Fab thread.

Reminds me of a family classic. My DB when about 4 yrs old had to sing 'away in a manger' at his nursery christmas concert. He v proudly managed the first verse and started the second with the line 'the kettles are boiling'...

We still sing it this way today in our house

mumbythepond Sat 03-Oct-09 14:04:44

Last Christmas my daughter was very caught up in the story of the nativity and would play it for hours with Mary and Joseph going to "Bethleys hen house"(Bethlehem) for some "little baby cheeses" (baby jesus). It turned into a strangely significant story about shopping....

mrsjuan Sat 03-Oct-09 15:33:47

Oh I've just remembered another one of my sisters - she came home from playschool singing 'wind my bottom up'

Ds also insists that it's a 'bunion', not an onion.

minko Sat 03-Oct-09 19:05:30

We're starting to hear a lot about Farmer Christmas at the moment... (DS 3yo)

Stayingsunnygirl Sat 03-Oct-09 20:49:20

I've just remembered one of ds1's mispronunciations that was a favourite of mine.

His version of Pinocchio and Gepetto was Nokkio and Patio! grin

BoffinMum Sun 04-Oct-09 10:27:51

Ah, daleks ... we enjoy eating the family favourite 'dalek bread', our species is known as 'floomans', we travel between floors in a 'loft', and DD was very distressed at the age of 4 to turn up at Dover only to find we were travelling to France on a big boat and not a 'fairy'.

Bettymum Mon 05-Oct-09 16:28:23

grin grin at the toastcrumbs.
Forgot about my other current favourite of DD's - every evening at bathtime she runs naked from the bathroom to the airing cupboard shrieking "faffle!" "faffle!" and opens the door so I can get a clean flannel out for her.

Conundrumish Wed 07-Oct-09 16:21:47

Goodness knows what DS thought I was doing alone in the bedroom on Sunday mornings. He says he thought I was 'having a lion'. I was actually having a lie-in grin

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