Potty training regression.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

Ds 4 1/2 was initially potty trained at 2 years. at the same time he managed nearly 2 weeks night dry. He regressed due to a nasty illness and 6mnths later bacame dry again. 90% of the time he is 100% potty trained the problem is that when we have periods where he cant cope (eg too much change, obsessions taking over etc) the potty training *always regresses. Tonight we had a wet bed before ew even got as far as bed. Are there any tips for reducing this consistance regressions. He is due to start school in sept and is worried and doesnt want to go. He gets very distressed when it happens and whilst i do my best to deal without fuss i am concerned that this pattern is likely to repeat when he starts school and cause even more problems. How do i deal with this regression?

[Sidge]

Hmm. Tricky one.

He's still quite little so it may well improve on it's own but in the meantime make sure he has plenty of fluids and regular toileting (as I said on the other thread). Try the 3Ts (toilet, teeth, toilet) at bedtime following a nice calming bedtime routine - maybe a nice warm bath, massage, toilet, teeth, toilet. Try asking him if he wants a bedmat or pull up - not brilliant long term but might ease some of the anxiety if he does wet and gives him some control back.

If he is generally quite an anxious child with some obsessive behaviours he may benefit from a referral to a Primary Mental Health worker; they tend to work with the family to suggest strategies for managing anxieties, phobias, OCD-type behaviours.

Bear in mind that when he is having a period of daytime wetting he is unlikely to be able to be dry at night.

How often is he wetting in the day? If it is fairly regularly maybe see the GP to see if he needs a bladder scan - some children have a bladder instability which means the bladder is very 'twitchy' and can't hold much wee. Children with instability often wee incredibly often, but small volumes and find it very difficult to hold on, eg if on a car journey or not near a loo.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

The last bad batch was when we were trying to get a diagnosis for either asd or HFA or as and were doing the eary years parenting thing. He went backwards behaviourally in all aspects. He has only had accidents during the day if fallen asleep deeply on long car journeys since and prior to this. Is very good normally. CAMHS have discharged him and dont think he has issues Not what everyone else sees. Not worried about night time his dad's family are late to be dry. So have spare duvets, pillows and plastic sheets. The main concern is the regression of daytime stuff which he can be soo good at normally. But he often doesnt finish weeing properally at the mo because he is too busy to stand there long enough I think including car journeys he had had about 7 accidents in the last 6 months 5 of those in the since friday, and 3 of those in last 12 hours.

DO you think this is a back to GP thing. I havent found they particularly useful about other behaviour stuff.

[Sidge]

You could see the GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician, who may be a bit more open minded?

If his wetting has ramped up since Friday it might be worth getting a GP once-over to check for infection.

[DidEinsteinsMum]

Actually our peadatrician is our biggest problem at mo. We are trying to get a melatonin prescription and he has answered GP's questions about it with toddler taming techniques. Which as the HV said we did 2 years ago . He had his cousin to stay and it has completely thrown him. Suspect it is probably just that but will see about it as he has complained about his willy being sore. I wasnt worried as he spends all day and night playing with it at mo. Suspect it is his new stress relief coping strategy. Suppoes its an improvement on the OCD handwashing Thank you for taking the time to help. Well ring gp tomo.

[Sidge]

Ah that's no help then!

Can you divert him from playing with his willy by giving him some worry beads, or maybe an elasticated bead bracelet that he can fiddle with when he's anxious?

[DidEinsteinsMum]

I suspect it might be a good idea. Surprised he hasnt pulled it off yet . Have a good site for stuff to fiddle with.SEN type stuff. will head over there in a mo.
Cheers!

[ipiratethief]

reallt feel for you, as my dd regressed for 6 months, last year at age 6. ongoing probs emotionally with her dad leaving etc...

She would wet all day at school. Come home wet, sore, and very upset. She didn't know she'd done it, that was all she could say to me. I'd ask, and she'd say she didn't feel the urge to go. Like a toddler.

Still soaking at night bless her, but that bad time last year did get better, with time.

Does your ds know he needs to go?

[DidEinsteinsMum]

normally but just like your dd he seems oblivious when we have a regress patch. I was actually stood next to him tonight. one minute he was just settling down to look at book the next second. oh mummy I'm wet. hope this improves as we get further from the weekend. but am worried about sept. Thing is this happens regularly when there are tough patches and can think of at least 4 occassions were he has regressed for month or so. poor boy has issues. Life seems to be the biggest one.

[ipiratethief]

it's very hard I know.

hug

[DidEinsteinsMum]

Thanks. it just what was supposed to be a treat seems to have cause a whole load of problems (even though i am the best mum in the world for having done it). I have been feeling a bit guilty bit about it. But am worried that the other issues arent under control and the medical lot are still less use than a ice cream at the north pole. Will take the hug and head to bed - i suspect we shall be up a few times tonight as i didnt know we'd run out of nappies after local shop shut. Hope your dd is doing better/coping. Its hard when you cant help them help themselves. Sometimes you really do just have to let them learn how to deal with things themselves. School will just have to deal with what they get, and i will just have to deal with whatever happens. worring now isnt going to stop or change anything that hasnt yet happened.

Sorry tired and rambling.

[ipiratethief]

have a good sleep, and come back tommorow.

[JessLX]

Can anyone offer any advice? I've never posted before but am really upset at the moment. My daughter is nearly 3. She's been potty trained for 6 months with virtually no accidents. In the last 2 weeks she seems to be doing about half her wees in her knickers and 3 poos too in the last week (all the poos when we've been out at cafes or restaurants) which is a nightmare.

I had another baby 4 months ago but this has only just started now, so can she be regressing because of him? I've read that it can be to get attention but she is doing it at nursery and with her granny too and other people too, not just with me. And even when her brother is asleep and not around. She seems happy generally and hasn't had any major upheavals otherwise. UTI check negative.

She doesn't seem upset when it happens and when I ask why she didn't go to the toilet she just says "I didn't want to".

The books I've read say try to ignore it and not make a fuss but she did a huge wee on the sofa today after I'd asked her whether she wanted to go and I was so angry I took away some toys and said I wouldn't take her swimming. How can I just ignore it if she is doing it deliberately? It's so naughty!

Do you think it's the kind of thing a child psychologist could help with or is it just much too common to warrant that? Thanks in advance for your advice.