Aww, thanks!
Have you thought about mentioning this to her teacher to see if she's the same at school. It sounds like a real need for routine rather then her being a PITA. Have you looked into some of the threads on aspergers/autism?

I would support FBGB suggestion. There was a short period when ds was about this age when I honestly thought he was possessed.

It turned out he was having a hell of a time at school; the reason doesn't really matter, but things improved a lot once I realised he wasn't actually possessed but was having a tough time and we finally got him some support.

We expect an awful lot of our 5-year olds, and sometimes they lack the communication skills to say what is bothering them so they act up instead.

Has she always been like this? Sounds like a change in anything really distresses her. Have you had a chat with her teacher?

so glad I'm not the only one - DD aged 5 is coming to end of reception year and I hope it's just tiredness - other mums are having similar things to what you write about. I have lots of tantrums about going to school, mealtimes, walking home / not walking home, lots of getting out of bed in evenings etc. Hope it gets better soon!

5 going on 15. Sounds just like my 6 year old DS. He is in bed right now screaming because I wouldn't let him stay up to watch Top Gear. Everything I do is "not fair". He also says now that I hate him. he won't wear certain clothes anymore because they look "gay". I bet its the same with her socks. I wonder if one of her clique has laughed at short socks, hence her reluctance to wear them. I dont have "my foot hurts...." I have "Im hungry, Im thirsty". Its a conatant battle with him. sound similar??!

The bedtime scenario sounds a bit like she's stalling your departure. Maybe before you start the routine you say what you expect, e.g. when we've finished the stories you are going to get in bed and give me a kiss and a cuddle and say nigh night or whatever and that's it. After that I am going to ignore you because it's bedtime. Don't get involved in any discussions after that.
I'd also leave dh to fight his own battles. My dd used to scream for me when it was my dh's turn but we persevered and now they are fine about me going off and I really appreciate not doing it every night.

Has anyone experienced similar behaviour? would love to hear from you

Please don't take the title wrongly, I adore her, but my eldest daughter is just so difficult at the moment. Recent examples:

Putting youngest daughter's duvet cover on her bed as it was the only clean one available - tantrum including screaming and behaviour I just didn't know what to do with for an hour at bedtime (the sheets didn't FEEL right)

Buying new school cardigans - ongoing tantrum when told that old ones were in the wash; new cardigans just weren't right

Short socks no good - ongoing tantrum with hysterical behaviour until I produced long socks again - better but had to be pushed downl, so in effect, short socks

And the main one ... her hair has to be tied as tight as can be otherwiseit looks awful and she cannot function.....

She seems to be quite popular at school although has a specific clique of friends and doesn't seem to like others joining

She's quite confident to other people but hangs on my every word and won't go to bed after a kiss from daddy. It's ok if he supervises tooth brushing but I have to read the stories and put to bed and deal with ensuing "My foot hurts .. my finger hurts, my tummy hurts".

Get the feeling I'm doing something desperately wrong but just need to know what.

Grateful for any comments. thanks