Just ordered it, has it got anything on hitting? Him of us, not vice versa!

Me too...!

Over the past month I've started shouting at DD as talking in a normal voice gets me nowhere.

DD doesn't seem to mind too much, but its stressing me out and making me feel like an awful mum so I would love to find another way. Also, don't want DD to think this is now you should talk to people.

Have ordered 'how to talk'. Thanks for the recommendation.

Mog: I suppose they only put it the positive examples! It isn't going to work all the time or every day and I think some days you just have to keep your head down and get through, HTTing or not. I find whingeing the worst and find I don't want to acknowledge it in case it continues!

We've all been a bit ill so back a few steps. Must look again at the role bit as I think that would be v helpful atm.

Hmmm, we had a crapola day today .

DS1 v grumpy and challenging all day, stropping over silly little things, hitting DH when we had to go home from the playground, even though we'd done 5/3/2/1 minute warnings etc. And oh my god, the whingeing today. And he was quite rough with DS2, and he'd been getting so much better! feel quite despondent at the set-back - got a bit shouty with him, then tried to make amends and talk to him. Nothing changed, so I ended up shutting down and becoming minimally responsive - not v helpful, but I was just so hacked off. Now he's in bed I feel like crap, though. And really annoyed with myself.

His behaviour is just so frustrating. I try to say positive things to him (in the correct descriptive way!) - he stopped at a road, said "No cars!" and went across - I said "Well done for checking for cars, DS1 - that's very responsible" and he said "I only said it". I feel like when I praise him, he just pushes it away - if I say he's behaved nicely, he'll mention one less nice thing he's done. Honest to a fault (which may well turn out to be a good thing) but makes me feel undermined and defeated. Blah.

I think one flaw of the book for me is that the kids in the examples seem to change so quickly into the reasonable behaviour! Also, the examples don't seem to be really pertinent to the sort of behaviour I am dealing with. But I suspect the main problem is that I was up half the night with teething DS2 (1.5) - blardy molars oh-so-slowly emerging. Sigh.

Oh well, I suppose tomorrow is another day...

My book hasn't arrived yet

Bloody ebay

I really need to read it!!

Hi again. I found my book but haven't read any yet...but just reading this thread has had an effect. I have been much more successful with removing ds1 from park/shop/house etc with improvising games and imaginary things. Not sure if they're ttotally true to the bok but it has been really helpful.

Will carry on checking in here.

Please can I join too? I got my copy from Mini IQ last week and need to do the worksheets from Chapters 1 - 3. I'll watch this with interest.

hmm yes I could definately try that - I will have to get the book out again [wonders if it has come back from a friend]

kate: would the section on roles be a help? there's an eg there of a persistent liar - the aim being not to raise the issue of him lying again, focusing instead on how to solve the problem at hand. I can look it up later if that would be a help

Even though I know what I should be saying I still find it hard when I'm tired though and then feel like a complete failure.

What are the other thing apart from fantasy and one word instructions which we do a lot - oh and and acting/drawing out - acknowledgement of feelings doesnt really work here which is annoying...

What I really need is a section how to deal with constant fibbing about small things grr - why do 5 year olds love to do this? I hear 'it wasnt me' about 100 times a day.