Are all 7 year old girls moody , demanding and bordering on rude?

(46 Posts)
twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:37:40

Or am I just an exceptionally crap parent because it is starting to feel that way.

DD is so rude at the moment, snapping at me, lots of rolling of eyes and smart comments. She has just come in the room and started jumping on the furniture, I asked her not to. She carried on so I told her again not to do it at which point she flicked her hair and said "I am just one big mistake, nobody loves me" It would never have entered my head to speak to my mum like that at 7.

She is constantly bored, she is an only child but has lots of toys, friends around regularly, pets, dp and I play with her all the time and open farmland to run about on. This evening she said to me when I suggested she take the dog on the field " I am so bored of the field now" This really annoyed me as most children would love to have open space to run about in when they left like it and it feels as if dd is turning into a spolit diva.

She has come into work with me today and when attempting to be cool has come across at times as quite rude.

What do you do when your child is rude?

Aefondkiss Tue 17-Feb-09 18:38:44

sounds just like my seven year old.... sigh, I will join you in crap parentdom

abraid Tue 17-Feb-09 18:40:08

We have had this with my daughter, now ten.

She did seem to get a bit better from about nine. Hormones?

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:40:20

In one way that is good to hear as maybe this is not due to my crapness. But I also want to here that this is highly unusual and I am doing something wrong that can be fixed.

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:41:17

Dp said it was hormones, but she is only 7. Although she is very tall and bright so perhaps mature for her age. What on earth will she be like as a teenager?

twoluvlykids Tue 17-Feb-09 18:41:34

Ah, wait till they hit 13...

Seriously, it's "cool" to be rude. Girls have to undergo such massive changes, and it seems to get earlier and earlier.

I'm not excusing her, btw, mine's now almost 14 and hardly ever rude anymore, in fact, she hardly speaks to me some days...

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:41:59

So what do you do when they are rude, do you put it down to hormones and gloss over it, do you pull them up, do you discipline?

ZZZen Tue 17-Feb-09 18:42:13

block it out and just don't go there. I think the teenage years are going to be seriously bad so I am saving my strength to deal with it when the time comes

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:43:14

I am being very negative about dd, she is quite fabulous but sometimes I feel it is not pleasant to be in her company which is an awful thing to think about your own child.

Aefondkiss Tue 17-Feb-09 18:43:22

Except my dd is very rarely bored, she is just rude between playing, usually when I interrupt her to do something "normal" like getting dressed, going to school etc, then rudeness shine through...

She is not an only child, she has her 4 yr old brother to order around and a very active imagination involving a place called "hero land".

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:44:34

The bored thing is quite recent although she has always been very demanding in terms of wanting our time but I have put that down to being an only child.

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:46:21

yes dd also hates being interupted to do something rude.

She will also ask again and again for the same thing. She wants to play poker tonight ( I am a good parent honest) but dp is working in his study. She is going in every ten minutes or so to say are we playing yet and seems not to notice or care that she is being irritating.

Aefondkiss Tue 17-Feb-09 18:47:04

I usually have a quiet word with dd, in lowered tones explaining that she is not to speak to me in that way... sometimes I do punish, sometimes I ignore... other times we go away for a couple of days together, just me and dd, travelling for a few hours on a train usually smoothes things out between us..

my dd doesn't want to be grown up, or cool though - she thinks being a grown up is a very dull thing indeed.

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:49:36

I do the quiet word and she seems to be unaware that she is being rude but I am not sure I believe her. How do you punish?

I also do the day with me on our own thing and that tends to stop it short term.

OneLieIn Tue 17-Feb-09 18:50:20

My DD is 8 and I have just had her in the naughty corner for sticking her tongue out at me whilst I was telling her off.

She has a ton of attitude and that's all fine, I just cannot bear the rudeness. I keep trying to explain to her that this is give and take. I will be kind and give her loads of stuff like a good birthday party she had a few weeks ago if in return she is kind. If she is rude, I will be unkind and rude back.

Anyway, roll on teens, I cannot wait to actually see if she can get up to 10% of what I did

RubyRioja Tue 17-Feb-09 18:51:06

Today I have sent my 9yo to her room for 5 mins every time she speaks rudely. I have barely seen her in between trips upstairs.

Today, I despair. If it is hormones we are in deep trouble. If she is moody one week per month, and I am, that is half of my life. With another 2 dds, we could cover the entire month.

Aefondkiss Tue 17-Feb-09 18:51:42

That persistence can be soooo draining - my dd's teacher said her headstrong attitude is a good thing, to be encouraged hmm.

Could you bare to have more of dd's friends over to visit, just to relieve you from some of the play/attention stuff?

muggglewump Tue 17-Feb-09 18:51:54

My DD is 7 and also an only.
She isn't rude as such but she can be annoying and does like ignoring me. She is also disgusting around food at times. In the last week I have caught her with her fingers in the butter eating it, found teeth marks in the cheese and she got her spag bol on the wall because she decided to eat it with her handshmm
It annoys me as she knows better than to do that, yet still does it.

I will say she is not demanding though and will play on her own for ages, but then as I'm a lone parent perhaps I don't notice so much as I am there whenever she wants. We don't share each other if that makes sense?
Still though, sometimes I don't want to be in her company either, I think taht comes with being a parent, as does the guilt that comes with feeling that way.

I do feel angry with DD when she does something wrong, but more than that I feel disappointed that she has defied me again.

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:51:59

I send her to her room for a short amount of time to send the message we will not tolerate rudeness and it does seem to stop it for a while but not in a long term way.

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 18:56:30

She has her best friend over to play every weekend or she goes there. She also tends to haver best friend to play one evening after school a week. She also has activities after school when she sees friends. Unfortunatlely our road, which we have just moved to, has no children. Previously she had friends to play every day as there were lots of children on the road and that has taken some getting used to. She does walk the dog on the field every day which she loves and we walk as a family most days. Every day we will play games with her or do something together. Dp has also started working from home so her can give her more time. I think she has quite an idyllic childhood and while I dont expect gratitude I wonder why she beaves as she does.

Aefondkiss Tue 17-Feb-09 18:57:01

T&P - I tell dd she won't get the Beano magazine... or no film/dvd/Monkey... computer time etc - until she can behave.

Is your dd mostly rude to you? (I seem to suffer most from my dd's rudeness)

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 19:00:11

Yes it is more to me than anyone else, it is almost as if she dislikes me at times which I find hurtful. She is sometimes a little curt with dp, but she idolises him and to be fair he is a much better parent than me. During term time I can be very busy and can be a little distant but try very hard to make up for it at weekends and holidays. She does not see her Dad very often so is overly polite to him, I do not want her to be like that.

As an example she was being rude before and I said to her why are you talking to people like that and she said I learnt it from you. shock

ZZZen Tue 17-Feb-09 19:01:56

I don't think rudeness to your parents / around them is directly related to how often you play with other dc really Twinset. I don't think you are failing there in any way.

My dd is a right fiery little thing but I can cope with it atm. She will soon be taller than me though and she has informed me that then she will be bossing me about. She will be maybe 10 by then, the way she's ggrowing.

Scarey. I think crack down immediately on rudeness towards people outside the family, explaining why it was rude, asking her to imagine how that person FELT and then say clearly what you expect her to do about it. I would be quite strict about that if you can.

Otherwise I think it is good that in particular girls have a bit of strength and determination to them, so that's why I tend to put up with a lot at home. I can usually wheedle mine out of her worst tempers with a joke. Thankfully

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 19:03:05

Dp says she is ruder to me than anyone else because I am the person she can do it to if that makes sense. I am the one constant in her life. She does not see her Dad, we have moved away from family and although she cannot remember dp not being there she does know he is not her Dad and has not always been there.

twinsetandpearls Tue 17-Feb-09 19:06:22

I am strict about rudeness to people outside of the family and it happens very very rarely. She spends a lot of time at her best friends house and they have commented on how she is very polite and we have similar feedback from other parents and her teacher. She snapped at a waitress the other week and I made it clear that this was unnaceptable and she apologised immediatly and I could see that she meant it.

I do admire her for her strength and determination, I had so little confidence as a child that I have tried to raise her to be full of confidence, but perhaps I have gone to far.

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