DD (2) is sometimes horribly frightened of baths for some reason. One day in bath with her brother she does a poo, after which there is a big fuss and everyone is racing to get out of the water. Next day she is in bath with DS and DH, and hating it and screaming to get out. I'm sitting on sidelines ready to catch her with towel after DH washes her. She starts screaming "DONE POO! DONE POO!". The hysterical thing about it was that she hadn't! She thought that since it worked before to get her out of the tub it would work this time. Brilliant.

DS, when he was 2.5, was getting his trousers on and putting them on the wrong way. DH is getting a bit impatient and shouting at him, "are you lazy or stupid???" (he calls things as he sees them - not always the most constructive of parenting philosophies I know...). DS, without missing a beat, shouts back "I'm lazy!" Even at 2.5 he was smart enough to know it was better to be lazy then stupid. I was so proud of my boy that day.

DS1 (around 2.6 at the time) watching my sister drink a bottle of coke then saying in his deepest voice "I vant to drink ze black vater". Last time I checked we didn't live in Transylvania!!

DD2 on Monday night(2.5) trying to get me to pretend to be asleep by beeping my nose and I mean pressing very firmly!. "Mummy go sleep? Beep on da nose. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!" If only it was that easy!!

DS1 (around 3) asked what I would be doing after he went to bed so I told him I was going the have a bath then watch Heroes. The next morning he asked if had a nice bath and if I watched the Higglies. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out he thought I was watching the Higgletown Heroes

My DS 2.4 threw a tantrum outside M&S the other day so I picked him up and manhandled carried him through the shop whilst he shouted 'HELP, HELP!!' at the top of his voice so everyone turned round to look.

when My three year old was talking with her grandma,
and granny complained she couldn't hear....... my 3 yr old DD said.....

"I'm not talking to YOU, I am Talking To My POO " !!

In a very very serious, mind yer own business voice. It really stumped granny, which is not easy to do. Cracks me up now thinking of it !
Especially as I wish I had the guts to use the same phrase to her.
(Gran is a very annoying person)

I took DD out to show her the moon and it was her first time out in the dark. She looked around in puzzlement and then asked 'who switched the lights off?'

This one no so cute but v.v funny. (Has also curbed my swearing even further). Was putting her feeding chair back together after giving it a wash and dropped one of the arms and she deadpanned 'For fu(k sake mom' . It was too funny and bang on and I just couldnt help myself. We now use 'flip' alot.

DD is almost 2

Last night I thought I'd try (2.3) DS's halloween costume on him, but, he decided on Tuesday that 'my not like spiders anymore mummy' so last night he stood with his arms outstretched, in his spider costume and leggings 'shouting 'No being incy wincy spider mummy, my not want to like it!'

He looked so funny cute I couldn't take the costume off!

Its now sat on the sofa just waiting for him to like spiders again, and everytime he walks past it he does this really cute little shiver then says 'Thats my spider mummy!' in a really excited voice, then 'My not want to like it mummy' with a frown straight after!

Its not scaring him, or upsetting him, he's just purely asserting his authority!

Aged just over 2, ds1 stood up in the back of the double buggy, whipped his trousers down, and announced in ringing tones; "My wee-wee is UP!!" Dh and the boys were waiting for me outside the changing rooms in Evans at the time.

I decided this was definitely something for daddy to deal with, and ran away to the till to pay for my clothes, whilst dh dealt with ds1 waving his erection round.

My 2yo daughter recently went to Australia for the first time to see family. My parents met our 5am flight and when we got home my darling conducted her grand tour of Nan and 'Cars' house. Each room past inspection until we came to the bedroom and the bed that was unmade as it was vacated at 4am was met with a tut and "oh dear". Not a phrase she has used before but hilarious! After making her disapproval known, she continued on her way...

DD1 got all excited about our summer holiday this year but didn't really understand what a 'holiday' was supposed to be. She thought it was a place, so every time we pulled up at a service station she shouted from the back seat: 'Is this the holiday?'

Then later she thought holiday = beach so every evening when we left the beach she waved at the sea and said 'Bye bye holiday, see you morrow'.

DD at 2.3, walking around the Botanic gardens calling "Misser Squirrel, Misser Squirrel, where are you? (name) give you huggy!" in a sing-song voice, with her arms outstretched.

The squirrels were really quite tame too, so she had to be held back from actually trying to hug them!