DD (9) walked in on us engaged in noisy enthusiastic duvet-free sex last night

(111 Posts)
OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:11:17

Walked in, turned on her heel and walked out. We lay like statues, totally mortified. DH said I should go and speak to her. I did, cringing like mad. DD was clearly embarrassed but OK. DH went downstairs to make some tea. DD called out to me that she felt ill - I went to see her, tucked her in, stroked her forehead, said goodnight, went back to bed.

She seemed find next day but studiously avoided the subject - she even explained why she got up (to find the kitten apparently) and talked about when she felt ill. But not the 'elephant in the room' so to speak.

Either she is remarkably cool (I'd have died at her age!) or she's pretending. How can I tell is she's OK?

It was bloosy 11.30 at night. We should have been safe surely.

Slouchy Sun 09-Nov-08 20:12:11




LoveMyGirls Sun 09-Nov-08 20:13:21

It's times like that I dread.......sorry that doesn't help.

I'm not looking forward to the time when my dd's will go to bed after us.

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:13:58

As you say slouchy!

Last line was meant to read 'bloody 11.30' btw... hmm

CatMandu Sun 09-Nov-08 20:15:04

Oh God, my 9 year old dd can't even watching people kissing on tv, she would be mortified. Sounds like your dd is handling it rather well, I think you should leave it be, you spoke to her at the time there's no need to keep referring to it.

ShowOfHands Sun 09-Nov-08 20:15:59

Just leave it. She'll be fine. You'll be fine. She will knock next time.

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:16:47

DD cringes too at kissing and the like. That is what is so upsetting.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it had been lazy, half-asleep duvet-covered almost asleep action.

mrsmaidamess Sun 09-Nov-08 20:17:06

Are you sure she even knew what you were doing?
Can you say something like 'I bet you were surprised to find me and Daddy having a kiss and a cuddle last night, weren't you?'

Or was there no way it could be construed as 'just that'?

aGalChangedHerName Sun 09-Nov-08 20:17:13

Oh god poor you.

If it helps i had a lecture from ds1 about keeping the noise down whilst having sex when his gf stays over blush (they are 17 and 16 btw)

Our walls are rather thin then.

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:18:03

Unlikely maidamess blush

I think we will just follow her lead and stay in denial.... grin

dinny Sun 09-Nov-08 20:19:51

bet she didn't notice half as much as you think - or click

she's obviously not upset, don't feel bad - it's natural!!! (sorry, state the obvious!)

gigglewitch Sun 09-Nov-08 20:19:53

blardy hell.
I think I'm reading this thinking "that will be us in another year or two".
Stuff happens.
Try not to panic over it, and hopefully she won't either. Perhaps leave it a few days and try and have another bit of a word with her, say you're concerned etc, maybe that you know she wouldn't be able to talk to any of her friends about it? Is she likely to understand what she saw?

<notes to self - teach youngest child to be like her brothers and knock on parents bedroom door>

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:22:48

Knock on doors! Now there's an idea.

We don't do privacy in our house (apart from DS#1 who is getting a bit hung up about it atm) but assumed that that time of night we'd be safe.

luckylady74 Sun 09-Nov-08 20:24:17

If it helps - in retrospect I have realised that I walked in on my parents several times, but despite knowing the facts of life I never realised what they were doingbecause I'm a bit slow off the mark! She may just be embarassed you were naked iyswim.
I did actually knock on a flatmates bedroom door and ask if she'd hurt herself and that was in my twenties blush

Littleladyloulou Sun 09-Nov-08 20:24:32

Eek blush

Can't offer any advice on what's happened but can say that my parents had a tiny discreet bolt very high up on their bedroom door (too high for a child to reach), I remember as a child getting up in the night to go to their room and finding the door wouldn't push open, but I never cottoned on why even after I knew the basics about the birds and the bees.

Maybe something to consider? Or is it shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted (ROFL) (on own) (nobody else finds it funny, LLLL)...


gigglewitch Sun 09-Nov-08 20:26:59

yes, funny LLL grin

Brainwash the buggers to knock. My dses still do it even when half-asleep grin I recommend it

brimfull Sun 09-Nov-08 20:27:40

have always dreaded this

we usually sleep with the door open,so close it when we want privacy,the fact the door is shut makes a statement to older dd but younger ds ..god I cringe.

I have a friend who is mega open with her kids-even leaves her dildo lying around shock

twoluvlykids Sun 09-Nov-08 20:27:44

A-hem - dd once walked in on dh & me ...

on the kitchen table!!!!blushblush

I rolled off the table and landed in the dog's box, dh managed to hide his bits under the table...it was dark, she went away quickly...

never spoke about it!

OrmIrian Sun 09-Nov-08 20:46:23

Kitchen table! <snigger>

gigglewitch Sun 09-Nov-08 21:48:03

you feeling better yet grin

jnmum Sun 09-Nov-08 22:10:43

I remember finding my mum's vibrator when I was about 10!!!and some porn!! never mentioned it though.

Later when I was about 14 I walked in to my parents room and they were having sex, noone ever mentioned it and I wasn't shocked...although I was alot older

Heated Sun 09-Nov-08 22:14:26

I can remember overhearing my parents and offering to call an ambulance!! blushgrin

DevilsAdvocaat Sun 09-Nov-08 22:16:30

is it possible she was half asleep/sleep walking?


Heated Sun 09-Nov-08 22:21:12

you were helping dh with cramp?

girlandboy Sun 09-Nov-08 22:30:58

twoluvlykids - oh dear, and fell into the dog's box gringrin

My dd is 13 and unfortunately we have an old house where there is no upstairs landing, therefore no bedroom door. To get to dd's bedroom you have to walk through our room! Trouble is, she is getting later and later at dropping off to sleep. By the time she's asleep we're too tired!

twinsetandpearls Sun 09-Nov-08 22:32:24

pmsl luckylady at have you hurt yourself.

my tutor at college's dd had a bedroom on a kind of gallery directly above her parents bed (I know because went to lunch there once) - she was a teenager too...eek

Anifrangapani Sun 09-Nov-08 22:48:35

We don't have a door.... dorma in a bungalow. I have lost count of the times I have opened my eyes to be staring at one of the DC... the little wretchs blush

When I was told about the technical parts of the birds and the bees (not just "the seed fertilises the egg" but the actual how the seed got to the egg iyswim), I asked my mum: "So you have done that 4 times?" because I have 2 brothers and 1 sister.

"No", she said, "you keep doing that until you're 80 or so, because it's very nice"

In retrospect that was probably the best thing she said about the birds and the bees, because from an early age I have always known that my mum and dad were still doing it and wasn's surprised of, or found any sounds I heard as embarrassing or cringeworthy as I would have done if I hadn't had this education.

I am definitely going to tell my DSs that we are doing it still too, when educating them. Should save a whole lot of embarrassment of both sides, whatever happens.

ilovemydogandPresidentObama Sun 09-Nov-08 23:12:54

It's such a difficult age anyway, being 9. Too old for the 'mom and dad special cuddle' talk and too mortifying to think that your parents are having sex. shock

Are you going to talk to her?

HRHSaintMamazon Sun 09-Nov-08 23:21:05

well i reckon that'll put paid to your sex life for the next month or so.

So long as you weren't doing the reverse cowboy whilst Dh wore a gimp mask she'll be fine.

but i think you should give it a day or so and then, when its just you two, broach teh subject. she's at an age where the whole birds and bee's stuff will come along sooner or later anyway so you may as well broach it now.

LeCynic Sun 09-Nov-08 23:25:20

Well on the bright side it's great that you are still having regular sex

frogs Sun 09-Nov-08 23:30:25

You are clearly overheating your house. It's far too cold in our house atm for duvet-free sex at any time of day or night. Turn your thermostat down, save money, save the planet, and save embarrassment all round.


twinsetandpearls Sun 09-Nov-08 23:39:44

lol at frogs turning this into a credit crunch issue grin

god I wouldn't worry about it. It isn't damaging and no need to make a deal of it.
of course she's Ok! why wouldn't she be?
she saw two married people in love making love.
which of us got through our childhood without witnessing a little sexual activity.
I saw two punks at it in a park c1977. the guy had an enormous Mohican. I was rivetted, but not all that scarred,tbh.

moondog Mon 10-Nov-08 00:12:26

lol at thoguht of mohican quivering.

mou Mon 10-Nov-08 00:20:32

Never heard 'it' called a 'mohican' before and how did you see it?winkgrin

zazen Mon 10-Nov-08 00:33:58

For the Mohawk: side on obviously!

I never saw or heard my parents hugging let alone having sex - I didn't think they did.

I think it's lovely for your DD to see that you are normal, or as normal as a Dragon can be Orm Irian, and your life is healthy!

Love your post hugeheadofhair smile I must remember that one.

Ozziegirly Mon 10-Nov-08 01:03:44

When I was about 8 I came downstairs at about 11.00 to find my parents sitting nude in the living room.

It honestly just made me assume that was what parents did once I was in bed. We had a whole conversation with them nude. with no mention made of the nudity.

I am very unscarred now, mainly.

OrmIrian Mon 10-Nov-08 08:08:22

God, she knows all about it. From mates, us, school. That isn't the point. And nudity is no big deal either - most of us walk around naked at various times.

But come on.... seeing your mum and dad actually having sex has got to be a major cringe. No?

I think she is fine though.

Dragons don't have sex zazen! They find eggs under gooseberry bushes. But when you are in human form you have to go with the flow <sigh>

Moosmummie Mon 10-Nov-08 09:18:17

How come you are all having noisy enthusiastic sex at all?! where are you getting the energy time?!

zazen Mon 10-Nov-08 09:40:29

I thought they found the eggs in the fire? I'm not up to date with it all I'm afraid!

How was your DD this morning? Probably dying to tell her friends!! blush

FWIW, I have a friend who also walked in on his parents, and said it was a very important life moment for him as he understood he was just a person, and that his parents were just people.
He said it gave him 'permission' to get on with things in his life IYSWIM.

I also have a friend who's Dad walked in on him and his GF, and he said his dad looked at him differently (as an adult) afterwards.

No bad thing to have boundaries.

OrmIrian Mon 10-Nov-08 10:45:36

zazen - I have no idea how dragons procreate! grin

Maybe it will be a positive thing.

I hope she won't be telling her friends blush

moos - I don't know TBH. It's not that regular but seems to be getting more so recently. Even got up for a 6 mile run the next morning grin

Hassled Mon 10-Nov-08 10:51:34

The danger of studiously ignoring the whole episode is that she may, as a result of the silence, feel that it's something shameful and Not To Be Talked About. I would give it a day or so and then talk about it - emphasise that it's a nice, fun thing to do when you're a grown up with someone you love etc. Just acknowldge that she saw what she saw but that it's just something grown-ups do and a normal part of adult life.

ByTheSea Mon 10-Nov-08 10:53:12

I have a DD that age. If she's fine, then she's fine. If you've already discussed a bit, and she says she's fine, just leave it open for if she ever wants to talk about it again and then drop it.

FWIW, I walked in on my dad masturbating when I was about 14. Talk about a cringe, but I don't think it permanently scarred me. blush

bigTillyMint Mon 10-Nov-08 11:05:37

LOL at all the "embarassments"grin

My DD asked me one morning (as we all went down for breakfast), why I was making funny noises earlier. I kept a straight face and said "are you sure it was me, maybe it was the baby next door" , then I went to the loo to PMSL!

anniemac Mon 10-Nov-08 11:17:24

Message withdrawn

HuwEdwards Mon 10-Nov-08 12:01:46

DD2 (5) walked in on me and DP. We were in a right old origami position but luckily duvet was over us.

DP shot up from er...down below, DD gave me a slightly quizzical look, but nonetheless, promptly got in for a cuddle.

All very surreal.

Eniddo Mon 10-Nov-08 12:03:16

dd1 (8) walked in on us once

she said 'mummy why were you pretending to be a crab on top of daddy'

blush doesnt even begin to describe it

Eniddo Mon 10-Nov-08 12:04:04

and yes it is embarrassing but as dh says it is normal and loving so it is not a big deal, I wouldnt metnion it again

grouchyoscar Mon 10-Nov-08 12:08:16

In a 125 year old house with NO central heating so very envy at duvet free shenanagins

Under the duvet, lights out, roll me nighty down when you've finished love grin

avaTsar Mon 10-Nov-08 12:08:23

Well we put ourselves in the firing line for this I suppose but we thought we were being quiet on holiday in our (pretty big) trailer tent.

We and dc each have separate zipped up bedroom areas.

Dc were all asleep and we were being quiet.

Suddenly out of the gloom from their little bedroom area ds said 'Is somebody pumping up the tyres?' blush

girlandboy Mon 10-Nov-08 13:25:51

avaTsar - you have just made me spray the laptop with tea! I love it!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh this sooooo has the makings of a mumsnet classic..... ROFL

Turniphead1 Mon 10-Nov-08 13:34:27

lol avatsar. Is that the new euphemism in your house. "Darling, would you like to pump up the tyres this evening?". Fantastic.

mehgalegs Mon 10-Nov-08 13:41:23

I caught my mum and dad at it on the sofa when I was 7 or 8.

It was never mentioned, I would have been mortified.

I am not scarred.

Has yet to happen here and our bed squeaks a gooden.

(Trying to picture Enid and DH - but not in a pervy way - crab? What like the yoga position - you sure is bendy)

OrmIrian Mon 10-Nov-08 13:42:52

Pump up the tyres grin DH has a very impressive bicycle pump.

He bought it yesterday with his new bike.

claireyBANG Mon 10-Nov-08 13:47:55

ROFL at pumping up the tyresgrin

I walked in on my parents when I was about the same age as your dd, I realised what they were doing but pretended I hadn't noticed and said what I had gone in to say and left. We never mentionned it and I'm glad they didn't try to discuss it with me, am more of a burying head in sand type!

avaTsar Mon 10-Nov-08 13:50:31

grin blush It got worse because then all three of them started having a big chat about who it could be and why they might be doing it.

Dh and I were in stitches.

Beachcomber Mon 10-Nov-08 13:55:59

DD1 who is five walked in on us the other morning. We were doing it discreet under the duvet style though.

She chatted for a bit (I could feel DH shrinking) and then said "Are you and daddy making love mummy?".

I was shock but after a bit of digging realised that she thinks having a cuddle is making love a la Cinderella and the Prince on her DVD.

Her little sister who is 2.5 is an uninhibited and enthusiastic masturbator. When she does it DD1 says that DD2 is "doing sport" (she does get hot and sweaty).

myredcardigan Mon 10-Nov-08 13:57:49

This thread has made me laugh.

A friend of mines DD who was 5 at the time caught her Daddy, ahem, enjoying himself in the shower. She walked into the kitchen and my friend asked if she'd sen her Daddy. She answered, casual as you like, Yes, he's in the shower pulling at his willy! grin

Her DD never mentioned it again and in no way seemed disturbed by it. However, she's now 12 and my mate is still taking the piss out of her DH over it. grin

Moral is I think, you are probably most stressed by it than her.

myredcardigan Mon 10-Nov-08 13:58:43

Lol at BC feeling her DH shrinking! grin

ObamasPinkPussyCat Mon 10-Nov-08 13:59:43

Twoluvlykids - Round here that is known as a "Table-Ender"grin

Pmsl at some of the tales on this thread esp "pumping up the tyres"


sparklestickchick Mon 10-Nov-08 14:03:44

We have been caught at it too blush

ages ago(pre dc) our lodger was away for the weekend we were 'at it' with me in a basque and stockings etc when he walked in to pay his rent [shame]dh hid in the kitchen larder grin leaving me to collect his rent in my undies!!!

earlier this year ds1 caught us t it he walked in the house hving forgot his bus pass shock never said anything just got it and said bye!!

several weeks later dh was being silly and slapped my butt as i checked the oven grrrrrrr and ds1 said im scarred for life already you know - normal mums and dads are getting divorces not makin out ......

filthymindedvixen Mon 10-Nov-08 14:15:30

I am reading this thread at work and having proper difficulties keeping a lid on a) the soup I am eating - it keeps wanting to escape down my nose...
b) not laughing out loud and therefore have to explain what I am laughing at.

To add my own tale of such happenings...

Occasionally if we fear the children are still awake etc, we pile a load of stuff against the door and if someone tries to get in through the door we yell (slightly manically!) ''we're just having a BIG tidy up, there's stuff all over, go away we'll let you know when you can get in''. blush

Last time we did this, ds2 commented, some hours later.''Hmm, Not especially tidy in here, is it after all that work? And you've left your clothes all over the floor....''

He is 10.
I think he knows shock!

Beachcomber Mon 10-Nov-08 14:18:59

When DH and I were young and reckless we got walked in on by a ticket inspector on a train. (Was an old French train with compartments BTW).

I was sitting on DH and thankfully had quite a full skirt on.

i just sat there and handed our tickets over- didn't know what else to do. Dismounting would have only have made things worse methinks.

LaundryFairy Mon 10-Nov-08 14:26:49

A friend of mine told me a cringe-worthy story from when he was a teenager. He once put a tape in in the video player and found a couple of seconds at the beginning that hadn't been taped over - it was his parents going at it in their bedroom in front of a mirror. He survived and turned out just fine!

OrmIrian Mon 10-Nov-08 14:29:25

filthy - someone once suggested leaving a pillow or two against the door. The intention being that it will hold the DC up long enough for us to stop and get back to normal. We've never had to use this strategy up till now but TBH I can't see it working. DS#2 would see such a barrier in his way as an irresistible challenge!

OrmIrian Mon 10-Nov-08 14:31:02

Friends of ours were once 'discovered' in flagrante in a wood next to a French camp site. Man with dog walked past. They froze. He merely nodded and said bon soir.

this is making me laugh.

My DD has walked in on DP and I early in the morning, saw we were 'having a cuddle' and went to play in her room LOL.

I walked in when i was about your DD age and walked straight back out again. When i lived at home, heard my parents at it, we agreed they should keep the noise down and my partner and I should keep our noise down blush

foxytocin Mon 10-Nov-08 14:57:57

at about 9, a mate of mine and his entire class walked past a couple en flagrante delicto along the banks of the River Wear, at the base of Durham Cathedral. [great setting for a shag]

his teacher shouted at them 'look away boys, look away!'

mumonthenet Mon 10-Nov-08 14:59:59

oh god,

can hardly type I'm laughing so much.

This is precisely why DH and I never have sex.

MrsThierryHenry Mon 10-Nov-08 15:03:39

Yikes! Huge sympathy for you all!

The first thing that springs to mind is: what would your ideal outcome be from this situation? Would you like to have a relationship with your daughter where you can talk increasingly openly about sex and relationships, or would you prefer to retain an embarassed silence over the whole matter for the next few years and perhaps the rest of your lives? Whatever you do now could quite possibly make that decision for you.

Is it really enough to say you 'think' she's okay? Why not make absolutely sure - if you don't, who else will? For her sake, to reassure her, I think it's really important that you overcome your own embarassment and talk to her gently and thoughtfully about it.

BTW don't watch Desp Housewives on Wednesday wink.

MrsThierryHenry Mon 10-Nov-08 15:04:19

In case it's not clear that last post was directed to OP!

bramblebooks Mon 10-Nov-08 15:09:06

On our recent holiday we were delighted to be given a suite in the hotel. Our boys' room was linked to ours by double doors. My youngest (8) came and made a point of closing the doors and telling his elder brother that it was in case we wanted to ... in his words, 'it wouldn't be appropriate to say to you mummy, but you know what I mean'.

cyteen Mon 10-Nov-08 15:10:13

Am actually lol'ing at all these, especially pumping up the tyres grin Also reassured to know I'm not the only one who's mistaken sex noises for pain noises - I still cringe at the memory of 7 year old me trying to gain entry to mum's bedroom because I was convinced someone was hurting her blush and wondering why she sounded so breathless and annoyed as she shouted back that she was fine grin

VerifiedLU4097 Mon 10-Nov-08 16:06:09

When I was about 9 I walked straight in on my parents. My mum said, get out!! Its rude to just barge in. I left very quickly and ALWAYS knocked after that. it was never mentioned and I was fine.

MerlinsBeard Mon 10-Nov-08 16:17:52

a towel behind the door is better than pillows. The door gets trapped on the towel and they can't get in

Or so i am toldwink

EachPeachPearMum Mon 10-Nov-08 17:09:42

bramblebooks - your elder son is such a gentleman! smile how lovely!

Ruby2shoes Mon 10-Nov-08 17:14:33

Or a large folder rammed narrow end under the door - my DP's accounting folders now have 2 official uses!

Though whenever the door is jammed on afternoon there are 3 little voices outside in a whispered debate as to whether "they must have taken their clothes off again"

And once DP's DD - 5 came in and his legs were sticking out of the end of the duvet blush she didnt notice and asked for a biscuit! DP in a very muffled voice said "yes darling in a little while now go downstairs please"
Then she promptly went down and said to the other two - "I dont know what they are doing but Daddy is hiding" !!!
Fingers crossed she hasn't brought it up in front of DP's parents yet...grin

snigger Mon 10-Nov-08 17:26:55

From this thread, it appears to be an essential part of growing up!

Last year, DD1 (now eight)walked in on us (discreetly positioned, under duvet, thank God)at around midnight, shortly after things had gotten very, erm, interesting for me - I opened my clenched-shut-in-the-throes eyes to DD stroking my forehead and saying "Mummy wake up, it's just a nightmare"

Managed to bite back the response "Yes, it is, isn't it..."

Moosmummie Mon 10-Nov-08 18:11:20

OMD Snigger - I've been there too. My LO walked in mid throes and it put me off for ages!

I can remember walking in on my parents too, although thinking about it they were only about 23 or 24! No wonder really My Dad got really cross though and shouted at me - cue floods of tears from me and Mum and Dad ending up having a huge row! Oops!

Incidentally my dad was always totally obsessive about nudity. I honestly have never ever seen my father anything other than 100% fully dressed (apart from the walking in on them moment) THEN about 5 years ago - he does one of those naked calendars for charity! God I was dreading October! Go figure _ I will never understand men!

BoffinMum Mon 10-Nov-08 19:26:36

This has to be the funniest thread EVER!
BoffinMum made BoffinDad put a hotel-style door closer on our bedroom door as well as install a proper lock that needs a key. Absolute best thing we ever did. We've used the towel-in-front-of-the-door trick in hotels as well.

When I was a kid, my parents always walked around the house naked and - get this - so did my (northern European) grandparents as well.


How many of you have actually seen your grandparents naked?????

I amazed I actually have a sex life at all after that.

fortyplus Mon 10-Nov-08 19:32:54

One of my friend (now 47) walked in on her parents when she was 12. I wouldn't say she was scarred but she still refers to it occasionally in horrified tones! grin

Maveta Mon 10-Nov-08 19:43:21

this thread is great grin can´t ever remember having walked in on my parents. They often recall my older sister walking in on them when she was very small and asking "are you tickling mummy, daddy?"

I think they learnt their lesson. For YEARS they would disappear off to have a ´nap´ and when we went looking for them we would find their bedroom door locked. Never questioned it hmm oh the innocence...

Maveta Mon 10-Nov-08 19:43:21

this thread is great grin can´t ever remember having walked in on my parents. They often recall my older sister walking in on them when she was very small and asking "are you tickling mummy, daddy?"

I think they learnt their lesson. For YEARS they would disappear off to have a ´nap´ and when we went looking for them we would find their bedroom door locked. Never questioned it hmm oh the innocence...

I remember asking my mum and dad why the cow in the field was trying to balance on top of the other cow. Cringe.

We were in bed a few months ago doing the spoons on our side facing away from the door (covered by the duvet). We didn't notice the door open and DS1 (5) comes in and gets in behind his dad, wrapping his arms round him and joining in my saying "I love you Daddy". blush. I felt my husband shrinking too!

I caught my parents at it when I was 14 and I still get embarrassed if they are not in the kitchen when I call in case they are at it - they are 66 and 72 now.

girlandboy Mon 10-Nov-08 22:01:09

When my sister used to go out clubbing and got back late, she used to hear mum & dad knocking on the bedroom wall. She thought they were knocking to let her know they knew she had got home safely. So she used to knock back. It was years later that she realised that it was the headboard banging on the wall, and not some sort of morse code.

Quattrocento Mon 10-Nov-08 22:14:38

Oh poor you! Or do I mean lucky you?

We have a lock on the bedroom door. It is in fact the only bedroom with a lock on the door. Twas installed by the previous owners. Very very handy.

lottiejenkins Mon 10-Nov-08 22:19:33

I was watching Gervase Phinn on Alan Titchmarsh(sp?) show the other day he was saying about his son asking where did he come from....... apparently he said hed get the lads mother to explain... they sat him down and explained about mens seeds and ladies eggs etc etc then said does that explain everything? The lad said not really dad my mate comes from Halifax and i was just wondering where i came from? LOL.........

ROFL at "Is someone pumping the tyres up?" and Girlandboy's morse code! Funniest thread I've read in aaaages!

On a slightly different note, my auntie walked in on her teenaged DS1 having a very noisy and athletic wank on his top bunk one night (that's his bed I'm referring to - it's not a euphemism for a dirty sex deed grin)

She'd actually opened the door to the bedroom very slowly and quietly to check on DS2 who was a lot younger and fast asleep on the bottom bunk. Upon realising what her DS1 was doing, she actually dropped down on all fours to avoid DS1 seeing her. He was oblivious and carried on huffing and puffing, and she shuffled very slowly BACKWARDS out of the bedroom still on all fours!

Still makes me laugh when I think about it! He's a grown man now and is none the wiser. It kind of begs the question, is it morally right to tell others in your family the embarrassing things that your children do, purely to raise a laugh?

Hell, yeah! grin

mumhadenough Tue 11-Nov-08 00:06:11

This is hilarious!

I don't remember walking in on my parents, but my MIL has walked in on us.

I think I was about 21 and DH about 24, we'd been together three years. I was on top and the duvet was up to about waist height. Turned round and she was stood at the door horrified, I threw myself down flat on top of him whilst simultaneously pulling the duvet right over my head, rofl.

BUT she went away crying, muttering something about that is her wee boy ffs! She was a bit of a psycho back then! (and very drunk).

KerryMum Tue 11-Nov-08 00:27:37

hell i'm impressed. with a broken foot and all!


melbob Tue 11-Nov-08 00:32:50

Not quite the same but on our honeymoon we sailed to France on overnight ferryy and booked a 1st class cabin. In the morning DH adn I were having a marital shag as we were no legal etc. Steward walked in a chivalrous husband pushed me off so I staggered in front of the steward in the nack! All DH could say was don't worry all ships stewards are gay!!

TinkerBellesMum Tue 11-Nov-08 00:49:58

I never saw anyone doing anything when I was younger. When I was in my late teens Mum asked me to take some things up to my brothers room. His door was open so I knocked and gently pushed it. It was quite clear what was happening so I dropped his things on the blanket box and went downstairs. His GF followed shortly after, storming out the house and he looked rather peed off! Took me a long time to admit to Mum what had happened (she asked him and got a sharp "nothing" back).

Apparently when my OH was younger his brother evacuated the house in the middle of the night because they had "burglars"! It became a euphemism between their parents when they have anything planned "we're having burglars tonight".

Never walked in on my parents but my mum has walked in on me and exp... I was on top.... there was no duvet. She looked totally shocked and just said "oh... I'll come back later" and closed the door behind her. We were giggling hystericly but hey we carried on and finished the deed!

Also once at a friends house I was sent to get a spare blanket from the parents room and opened the wrong drawer which contained a dildo and loads of porn! I couldnt stop giggling and I did admit it to my friend a few months later, she had also stumbled across it. He dad works abroad and she has also stumbled by accident across her parents dirty convos on skype!!!

I have all this to come. When Im 34 ds will be 15..... I think im gonna need a very big house with sound proofing!!!

sunshine75 Tue 11-Nov-08 10:07:35

I cought my parents once. I was sent out to play but when no one was playing I tried to come home. All door bell ringing was ignored. I climbed over the garden fence and peered through the patio doors to see my parents on the sofa - dad on top with mum hitting his arse.

I banged on the door and demanded to know what was going on. 'They were having a play fight'. Believed this for years and when I finally twigged I teased them without mercy. Still do as I now realise why I was always sent out to play on sunday afternonns.

Mind you we are a very open family about sex and stuff!! My advice is to make a joke of it when she is a bit older!!

fledtoscotland Tue 11-Nov-08 11:06:23

OP am sure she will get over it.

i walked in on my parents when i was 18. had gone out but had got a headache so came home early. saw TV on in lounge so went in to find porn film on and parents at it on sofa blush - worst bit was mum still had her trainers on grin. have made mental note to myself to remove all footwear in future as that has scarred me more than the actual deed

sleepycatonabroomstick Tue 11-Nov-08 11:33:45

I actually think I may have ruined my parents sex life.

When I was about 13 and mortified about the idea of my parents doing it I used to cringe in embarressment if I heard their headboard banging (I would be lay in bed reading illegally with a torch and it would be late and they must ahve thought they were safe)

one day I actually opened their door and said 'be quiet, I can't sleep!' They didn't answer, I hear the duvet rustle and then silence. I shut the door and never heard them at it again.

Poor parents.

OrmIrian Tue 11-Nov-08 11:52:25

I am enjoying these <happy sigh>

Bolt being fitted at the weekend. Just a little one right at the top of the door.

DaphneMoon Tue 11-Nov-08 12:24:32

I am literally crying with laughter here. These are hysterical! My DS has heard me and asked why I was moaning, I said I had a bad dream.

PMSL Fledtoscotland, I have visions of legs with trainers on now, hysterical.

BoffinMum Tue 11-Nov-08 12:47:41

fled to scotland, Trainers??? Brilliant!!!!! Were they kinky trainers????

Jampot Tue 11-Nov-08 14:11:07

my friend told me last night her dd (just 16) announced she was having sex with her boyfriend. Friend was annoyed and mortified until her dd said she was just jealous because "at least Im getting it" shockgrin.

We laughed for ages about it but realised that she wanted to shock her mum and to let her know how grown up she was hmm Friend is now going to be as blunt about her sex life as her dd is.

mamakoukla Tue 11-Nov-08 18:17:27

hmmmm.... MIL walked in on hearing hysterical laughter to find me being chased around the room by DH brandishing a blow-up sheep. Swift exit shock Thankfully, we were dressed though! grin

jemart Tue 11-Nov-08 18:28:25

I seem to recall my parents had a small bolt fitted to their bedroom door, cheap plastic thing from a diy store, saved embarrassment all round.

MrsSanta Tue 11-Nov-08 21:46:44

omg pmsl,
When I was little I apparently ran shouting on a Sunday afternoon in the street, my Mums in bed with my Dad. Mum claims they wern't and appeared red faced to the neighbours. blush

We stil laugh about it today, she said they were changing the bed.

AphroditeInHerNightie Wed 12-Nov-08 05:58:33

Before DH and I moved in together, and I was living at my parent's house, we got caught in the living room by my younger brother, who still teases me mercilessly.
The funniest thing was that we'd turned out all the lights for 'discretion' and I was just reachinbg the throes with my eyes shut when little bro switched the lights on (unaware we we were there - we were trying to be quiet). My first thought, before even noticing my brother was to think "how good is DH!" as my head filled with lights!!
Bit of a sudden come-down when the truth became apparent.
So far we've managed to avoid an incident with the DCs although DH has had the cat climb up onto his back purring like a loon whilst we were making the beast with (now, three) backs!

mummyspurg Mon 17-Nov-08 16:40:42

Have to have a giggle at you guys, very funny, but have been a victim myself, recently managed a little 'together' time, in the throws of it as it we're (come on we've all had children remember), and DS walked in unannouced, well I just died as did 'the sword', mortified DP said did you see his face?! Err no said I, I was facing the wrong way!! Work it out for yourselves!!
Lock at the top of the door being fitted this weekend methinks.x

walkingprimrose Mon 17-Nov-08 23:12:47

Well all I can say is I am jealous of all you girls for whom little ones walking into your bedroom could be a problem - its not one for me because my sex life is non existent as I don't fancy my husband anymore.

Blinglovin Tue 18-Nov-08 12:02:13

Snigger - your story about your DC stroking your forehead still has me laughing inappropriately at the office. Absolutely classic.

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