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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

help for a mammy with and expert dawdler?

17 replies

vigobay · 11/03/2005 12:14

Hello! My DS1, aged 4, has perfected the art of dawdling and HOW TO IGNORE IT? He does it to drive me mad and it works! I do try ignoring him but, he's so slow most of the time it just festers away inside and eventually I lose it. Any ideas?

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suzywong · 11/03/2005 12:16

it's very very hard isn't it?
Mine is nearly four and I think he's getting the hang of dawdling

I just have to remind myself that he is, as a small boy, duty bound to have a phase of it and really can't help himself most of the time.

Sorry I can't offer any advice

vigobay · 11/03/2005 12:23

Yes, you sound very patient Suzywong...I lose it with him because he is really an expert at pushing my buttons in general and sometimes I feel a total failure. My DS2 is 10 months younger and things are so much easier with him and it makes me feel so guilty that DS1's little quirks, like his dawdling, get to me so much.
Thanks

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SoupDragon · 11/03/2005 12:27

What does he dawdle over? Everything or just walking places?

Keane · 11/03/2005 12:27

my son is like this, but nowadays he takes a ride on digger or bike out with him. Much quicker!

suzywong · 11/03/2005 12:29

bloody hell I am anything but! I snarl at him regularly especially when he's getting in or out of the car

vigobay · 11/03/2005 12:30

Hello Soupdragon, well, let's see...getting dressed/undressed ,brushing teeth, eating....if he sees I'm there watching or helping his brother he does it.

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vigobay · 11/03/2005 12:32

Surprisingly enough, getting into the car he's quick at (loves the car) and he's a great walker, too...it's the everyday home routine he wants to be slow at.

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SoupDragon · 11/03/2005 12:33

I turn things into competitions which seems to ignite my DSs (6 & 4) into moving faster with whatever they're doing. "Bet you can't get dressed before I've got DS2 dressed" or "who can get to that lamp post first?" or "If you finish that before the timer goes off you can have chocolate"

Keane · 11/03/2005 12:37

sorry didnt realise it was with everything

I tend to make it into a competition too, but they are stubborn little so and so's sometimes

vigobay · 11/03/2005 12:38

Yes, good idea....only thing, don't they get upset if they're not FIRST? We haven't tried this yet and even so, we notice being first is so important...especially for DS1. In the morning we use 'beans' to motivate them (aren't they darling, they love winning a dried bean) but, the minute all the beans have been won...it's back to dawdling. One day DS2 was first in the bathroom and DS2 didn't even try for his bean!

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vigobay · 11/03/2005 12:40

I meant DS1 didn't try for his bean

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SoupDragon · 11/03/2005 12:56

It's all about manipulating the little sods.. I mean darlings. Ahem.

If they're not first with one thing, there's always a chance to win at the next thing (eg DS2 always wins at getting dressed because I'm helping him but DS1 wins at anything that needs running because his legs are longer.) Yes, they get upset at not winning but that's life Oh I'm so evil!

Actually that's where competing against a timer is good because both can win.

vigobay · 11/03/2005 13:04

Yes! Manipulation alright....but, who's manipulating who? It looks as if DS1 has me just where he wants me....as in managing to get to me.

I do use an egg timer every morning and guess what? DS1 tends to look more at what his brother's doing than at the timer (very competitive poor boy).

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SoupDragon · 11/03/2005 13:47

hehehehe. It's a nightmare isn't it? I also go down the "I dont care" route whereby if the "thing" isn't done by the specified time, it's not done - so if tea isn't eaten in time it's taken away, if they're not ready to go out we go in whatever they're wearing, if teeth aren't cleaned in time I start the bedtime story without them etc etc

I also shout thngs like "Just GET IN THE CAR" regularly when we're running late, leaving a pause for a mental expletive before car. Sometimes only shouting will work. My methods aren't perfect by any means.

suzywong · 11/03/2005 13:52

oh I'm a regular user of "get in the (phrughint) car"

vigobay · 11/03/2005 14:16

Absolutely! You seem to have a knack!! Natural consequences....or logical ones, I am going to have a think on how to outsmart DS1. Thanks!

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vigobay · 11/03/2005 14:17

Oh, suzywong...how I just laughed. I say 'flipping' 'flippers' and 'flip' all the time.

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